meeting people at kung fu

[ged]

something i havent seen too many threads on - how many of you have met people through kung fu that you value as friends? its interesting, it really only just clicked that ive made friends at kung fu... one guy is a builder, another guy is a lawyer... it really seems to bring people together.

interesting though, i have a friend whose sister is a black belt in karate.... her parents blame the people she met at karate for her life decisions, reckons theyre 'bad' people.

are the people you've met at kung fu generally 'good' people? sorry, generalisations suck.... but you know what i mean.

anyway, just curious to hear what you guys/girls have to say.

[friday]

most of the ppl i have met both in my Australian and Hong KOng kwoons are usually good ppl or nice ppl. but like anything else i guess u have a few not so nice ppl.
thats life i m afraid hehe
there was actually a thread b4 talking about bad/good sifus' and bad/good students
mayb u should try searching that

[GLW]

Grandmaster Wang Ziping, famous as the Lion of Zha Quan and the first Head of the Shaolin Division at the Nanjing Central Guoshu Guan was of this mind set....

His common phrase was "Yi Wu Wei Yu" - Through Martial Arts - Make friends. An amazing idea considering how many challenges he fought and how his students all were accomplished fighters.

But, this is one of the things that is special about martial arts...it gives a common interest to two people who would NEVER normally interact with each other.

[shaolinboxer]

Ofcourse you meet a mix of folks, but one thing I have noticed is that once you leave a school, you often leave your "friends" from that school behind.

I try to keep my training partners compartmentalized so that there are no hard feelings. But, I have never trained at a school for more than three years.

I trust many of the people I train with now, and I feel a sense of equality with them. Trust and equality are the roots of friendship.

There are also those whom I know not to trust, but I still like them for one reason or another.

MA attracts all kinds of folk in different phases of their life. You may train with someone this year and think they're a jerk, then train with them again in five years and really enjoy it.

At least you learn something from everyone.

[Mutant]

I've made some of my best friends through kung fu. People I may not have otherwise gotten to be such good friends with, because we're such a diverse and eclectic cross-section of people and backgrounds.

I still keep in touch with kf friends from old schools far away from where I am now and we travel to see each other.

And best of all, I met my girlfriend through kung fu. Its great to have someone to work out with and who understands the dedication and sacrifice....the only drawback is that when she gets ****ed off she really knows how to kick my @ss!!! ;)

In my experience, most of the people who I have met through martial arts are particularly good people.

I do know, however, that there are some really bad martial arts organizations out there (chung moo doe, for example), who have some really bad people (even within these there are some good people, I'm sure), and I feel sorry for them....but just like in all other facets of life, you have to use your head avoid these bad people & situations.

In general I think there are many great people in martial arts who have certainly enriched my life.

[Ray Pina]

I would call them special associates. We don't get together to watch movies or go out. Every so often we'll get dinner and plan a day to train -- this is with a few of my old training brothers. We are almost like a family, in that, when they need me (car breaks down, friend needs help, ect.) I'm there for them. This is a small clan of about 4 guys I used to fight with under my S. Mantis teacher.

I am becoming friendly though with students at my knew school. Takes time. I do not like to be too forward or nosey, because we are all there for a reason, to study MA.

But I do like everyone in my new group and would enjoy time with them outside of class.

On the other hand, the word friend is very sacred to me. I have a lot of associates, people I know, can hang or party with, but true friends, I'd say maybe 5 or 6 -- and I feel lucky to have them in my life.

[dwid]

It seems in some clubs/dojos/etc... the group breaks down into cliques, which I think can be very harmful. It's very political and some people spend lots of time worrying about whether they're accepted by the ones who are apparently at the top of the pecking order. This sort of dynamic seems to thrive most when the person leading the group facilitates it.

I've also seen groups where everyone seems pretty comfortable with their relation to the group, so while some people may grab a beer together now and then, when the group trains, everyone has essentially the same respect.

I think beltless systems are more likely to promote the latter, where belts promote the former. But there's a lot of variation.

Currently, I take semi-private lessons, with applications work one day a week. So, I interact with the other people my instructor trains on that day. We're on friendly terms, but nobody really hangs out together much apart from training. The fact of the matter is that if all I share in common with someone is kung fu, then I'm not particularly interested in hanging out with them outside of a kung fu related context. There are people I train with who I'd like to know better, but I really don't have a lot of time to hang out with the friends I already have, and I think a lot of people in their mid-20's and older are pretty much in the same boat.

[Mutant]

The friends I was refering to are a small handful of people. I really can't stand 'cliques' and almost never socialize in the kwoon or while training, that is business time and would only serve as a distraction.

But when you spend an ungodly amount of time training with people who often have many of the same interests and intensity, friendships certainly can occur. The friends I mentioned I trained with for years before we became such good friends. When I'm training with friends or even my girlfriend, we are dead serious and don't socialize...although we have been known to crack a joke or two :D

[Justa Man]

the people i've met at kung fu are generally good people. but alot of them just don't seem to know when to chill and when to train. sorry to say, my school has that clique problem, and it sux a$$.
i've made some friends through kung fu, and they are peeps that i sometimes chill with (grab a beer, smoke an l, play pool, go see jet li's new flick, etc.). i don't like this clique stuff though. students that aren't in it, whether because they are more shy, or don't come to class often enough, seem to feel put on the outside of things. at least that's the impression i get from them. and i don't like that feeling of seperation from anyone in my school. some people in the clique tend to make others feel on the outside and that p!sses me off. then of course, there is the problem of peeps who are friends, who don't know when to chill or when to shut up and train. and if you say something to them about "now's not the time", then they gotta go tell everyone that's in the clique how you're being an a$$hole, and it gets blown into different proportions. i was once part of this clique sh!t but seeing how it operates, i totally phased myself out of it. i can still chill with these cats anytime i want, and there are no hard feelings, but when i'm in school, i speak as little as possible to anyone who doesn't take school time seriously. so, some peeps in this little clique think i'm conceited or think i'm angry at them. oh well. while they are busy kidding around with one another, i'm busting my a$$ training, so i think i get the better end of the deal.
regardless, i kind of think friends and kung fu don't mix unless you have people who can seperate the 2. that siad, i do have a couple of friends who fit this bill.

[Octavius]

While we're on the subject, has any of you met your significant other(s) in kung fu class?

[red_fists]

Yep, made some friends during my MA studies.

But not as much as by riding my Bikes and hanging out with other bikers.

Said that a lot of my Biking Buddies are also into MA. :D

[jon]

"While we're on the subject, has any of you met your significant other(s) in kung fu class?"
* I met the girl im dating when we both started Kung fu in the same place at basicaly the same time and got to know each other there.
We dont play that out in class though, when class is on we hardly even make eye contact. Its nice that we can discuss class but i try not to talk about it, i have enough problems with kf obsession without that being the focuss of our relationship as well.

Ive met a LOT of friends though martial arts, my former boss believes serious martial artists are a particular breed of people.
My old boss hired me on the spot when i said i was kung fu practioner. She said she knows they have morals, she was right i was proberly the only staff member who was always dead honest and never stole. I also stuck up for myself and she seemed to respect that.

Some of my most valued friendships have come about though kung fu.

[TaoBoy]

As with all schools, associations cliques form. Martial arts schools suffer from this too, but it can be managed. I used to study at a school that had the whole 'inner circle' thing going. The master had a select group of students around him all the time. Being part of that group I never really noticed it. Then it became very apparent. I left not long after. Many other students left also.

Currently, I am close with my instructor. I spend many hours outside training with him and other senior students. We are all very friendly. The difference this time is there is no restrictions on who's invited. There's no clique. The environment is much healthier.

Lastly, to answer the question:

I have many valuable friends from kung fu training. I have also met two 'significant others' (different times/different schools) that I'm happy I've known.