hillarious support history from one of our customers.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i had to share this. this is what your friendly isp guy has to deal with on a regular basis. i'm mike seals ... this guys first contact. these are the actual notes from his support history.

Mike Seals: Problem: setup

Solution: i really think this guy was tripping his balls off. he would be saying 3 differnet sentences at once and the he would tell you he was wearing glasses. he would also refer to his friend george in ways that did not relate to anything we were talking about. i would tell him to click start and he'd say "george came and visited me last year and all that" and then he'd just stop there was complete silence until i told him to move on in the setup. we got half way through the inetwiz when he said he was looking at a blank screen. my eyes went wide with rage and before i could say anything he said he was back at run. i asked him what happened to the screen we were just working with and he said "it's gone" like it was one of the most profound experiences of his life. going through the wizard again he started arguing with me when we got to connection name. i told him to clear out connection to the phone number and he said "no .. no . .. not really." i asked him to clear it out again and he said he didn't know about all that. finally we got past this step and for no apparent reason, and without warning, he hung up. if he calls in normal one day he was definatley tripping.

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Mike Seals: Problem: he was having problems with his meds that "really rocked his cage."

Solution: he said that he "was taking enough bull**** medicine that would really flip your lid and all like that . .. pcp . .. toxic chemical crap ..its time to kick back .. the medication is kicked in and im kicked back. " he then told me that george is coming in from chicago. george "is a computer **** wizard and all like that." he told me it "seems like a big eye" and i told him to have a nice day.

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Jim George: Problem: think that he just really wasn't sure how to get online

Solution: showed him how to open IE and then click connect to get online

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Bryan Bess: Problem: ack, says he is getting the line is busy, so he wanted to change his password?

Solution: Well he really had no idea what his password was even though he just opened up his account like 4 days ago. He starts going on about his scanner, and his friend George again. This guy is just completely insane

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Michael Rine: Problem: jesus christ

Solution: jesus christ

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Bryan Bess: Problem: not routing

Solution: ripped and reinstalled DUN and components

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Bryan Bess: Problem: His friend from Chicago was there now to help him connect, wanted the DNS numbers

Solution: Gave them to him.

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Jim George: Problem: wanted to change his homepage

Solution: told him where to change that at

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Michael Rine: Problem: on and on and on and on and on and on and on. asked when Bess would be in, think he wants to come out and have Bess show him some stuff

Solution: changed password to 2327546. asked him to make sure he calls and talks to Bess before he tries to come out

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Desi Lekanudos: Problem: called to ramble on and on and on and on....and on and on and on..... he's still talking....

Solution: no real problems, needs to befriend Captnsolo.. they could have conversations that would last months

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Joe Reed: Problem: called to ramble on again

Solution:

[ewallace]

ISP tech support was one of the worst jobs I ever had. I understand that not everybody is a computer guru but jeez some people's driveways don't go all the way to the street.

One guy's computer froze up. I asked him to hit the restart button. He said there wasn't one. I asked him to find the BIG round or square power button. He swore up and down there were no buttons on his computer. I said "sir, that has to be a power button on your computer, otherwise it would turn on when you plugged it in, and there are no computers that do that". Man that really p.o'd him. He thought I was being a wise-ass. I then politely told him "sir, if you are unable to find the big power button on your computer, there is really nothing I can do for you." He then told me to pleasure myself and hung up. Kind of reminds me of the infamous Dell tech support with the lady who's power was out.

Try going the programming route GDA. It fits my personality perfect since I generally don't like people. I sit in a corner in the back of the building and no one really fuucks with me all day.

[txwingchun]

I get to do user support among other things at my job. I close as much as I can by phone so I don't have to walk all over the place. Some of these people are real new to pc's they've been using dumb terminals for years. One guy I worked called a user to help him out over the phone because he couldn't find his files and asks him what icons are on his desktop. the user's reply" I jus cleaned off my desk there's nothing on it." :( Another day as a network tech.

[Goldenmane]

Four words: B@stard Operator From He11.

-geoff

[jesper]

Man he is funny. Do he still write his stories.
Its been a while since I read them last :). Just hearing his name made me laugh again

PS my wife looks at me funny now, so I better hang up :)