You know your Kung Fu sucks if....

[wushu chik]

You know our Kung Fu sucks if....

#10....Your "grandmaster" claims to be the only one but there is already a recognized head of the system.

#9....If you thought the "Gopher Chucks" in Kung Pow were cool, and have tried to make some of your own.

#8....Your master claims to have secret books and scrolls from thousands of years ago but the system is only 50 years old.

#7....You wear a Karate Gi and a BELT, and think it's OK because you were told it was.

#6....Your teacher makes you say things like "Right to pay the money?" or "Right to let you have sex with my wife?"

#5....Every single time you practice Iron Body you end up vomiting/urinating blood.

#4....You think that practicing "good dog" movements will disarm a gun/knife weilding attacker

#3....If your "kung fu" includes "animal" styles like "tree, wizard, gangfighter or bullfighter".

#2....Your student manual is handwriten on toilet paper.

#1....If your school moto is "Our skills are too deadly to be made public"!

And a bonus one...just because we couldn't stop we were on a roll!!

YOUR SCHOOL LOGO INCLUDES THE REBEL FLAG!!

[Yung Apprentice]

Did you make these up?

[Yung Apprentice]

Your sifu thinks iron palm is a way of servicing hisself!!!!

[nospam]

#7

:rolleyes:

nospam.
:cool:

[Budokan]

You know your KF sucks if....

...you spend more time on KFO than you do training.

[Kristoffer]

:D

[KungFuGuy!]

The sad thing is, the place I used to go to was guilty of about half of those :(

[wushu chik]

I am working on a NEW top 10 list! I know how much you ALL enjoyed the last one, so I will think up a new one for ya!!!!

KungFuGuy! Sorry to say, but you got ROBBED!!!

~Wen~

[KungFuGuy!]

I know :D

Although the next place I'm going to looks to be pretty great. It's a san shou/bjj cross training school. Awesome, eh?

[Mojo]

1. The wall photo of the schools grandmaster looks suspiciously like Alfred E. Newman

2. Your first weapons class is in how to use the 'num-chucks'.

[DelicateSound]

Soundman's:

#1: You spend over half of the lesson doing exercise. Like running and skipping.

#2: When you complain to your Sifu with:

"I didn't come here to learn to skip" he replies with:

"So why do you come here?"

#3: You overhear that the new payrise is to pay off "Ted's" new Subaru Impreza World Rally Edition.



All true I'm afraid. :(

[guohuen]

You have to get your stepping registered with the minister of silly walks.

[norther practitioner]

- when you have a fake lineage; and your teacher says that you are unstoppable when you use x, then y
- when your shrfu is teaching you how to take people down without touching them
- when your fighting strategy consists of flips and butterfly twists.
- when you get knocked out
- when you are training and someone comes up and asks if you are doing swing dance
- when your combos consist of moves stolen from street fighter the video game.

[nightair]

Your "grandmaster" is the same guy that plays the infamous great white ninja in the "American Ninja" series.

[wu_de36]

Originally posted by Budokan
You know your KF sucks if....

...you spend more time on KFO than you do training.

amen to that.

wait, no, i wasn't here to read that... too busy training ******!

[yenhoi]

your KFO handle is wushu chic.

:eek:

[African Tiger]

Oh, that was JUST WRONG :confused:

Wushu Chik is our resident (resi-deadly) hottie!

#11 If your school is called Shaolin-Do, and you wear gay asssed gi's with the school's logo on back - like the enemy school in The Karate Kid.

#12 If you're not having fun while learning. Sifu Totten is such a cut up, I have laughed myself silly on several occasions during class. Unless he was clocking my big ass with a palm strike for demonstration.

[Justa Man]

If, upon receiving your black sash, you are required to have the donkey and the hyenna burned into your forearms.

[jon]

1. You attempt to block punches with your face.
2. You learnt to fight by watching star wars movies.
3. You own 'empty force' video correspondence courses.
4. When fighting you keep attempting the Jedi mind control trick.
5. You learnt to use a sword by playing with a ruler.
6.You learnt to use a staff playing with a mop.
7. You cant get in horse stance, let alone hold it.
8. When you punch things it hurts you more than your target.
9. You make creaking noices when you move.
10. You get beat up a lot...

The most important one...
When you spend more time trying to make sure everyone else is doing the wrong thing than you do on yourself doing the right thing.

[TaoBoy]

Your instructor calls himself Si Gung but teaches a style he never learned!

:eek:

It's happened...I swear!

[wushu chik]

Yenhoi~
That was so funny, but I did forget that they let little kids on this forum!!!
:rolleyes:

African Tiger~
I didn't even make the connection between you and Sifu Totten. Duh, feel free to kick me later! How long have you been going there? I know quite a few of his students! I haven't seen Sifu Totten in YEARS though! Hope he's doing well!

And thanks for the compliment.....you and your fine self.....makes me wanna go back to So Cal!!!!

~Wen~

[neito]

-if your master calls himself the CELESTIAL DALAI SENG SHIH(see temple kung fu)
-your grandmaster looks like a wookie (see shaolin-do)

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

if your sifu drops his pants and asks you "if everything looks alright down there" almost every class.

[HuangKaiVun]

If you can't get out of your training what you feel you should be getting.

[ewallace]

the most lethal technique you know is a palm-heel strike to the nose.

[yenhoi]

Huh?

[Mantis_Hand]

man... it doesn't take a list like that to know my kung fu sucks. :p

[Tigerstyle]

...if your sifu demonstrates techniques using Tekken.

"See how high he flies up when I hit him with this? Do it just like that."


GDA,
Does that mean your students' kung fu will suck? :eek:

[JWTAYLOR]

9. You make creaking noices when you move.

Whoah there grasshopper.
Some of my friends at the school make fun of me since before I'm warmed up my joints all crack when I kick and punch and stuff.

I tell them that I may make the crackle, but they'll make the snap and pop.

JWT

[Aramus]

My instructor cracks, I crack...sometimes I crack on my fellow students, some times they crack on me...sometimes I just crack.

Just say no to crack. Remember to pull up your pants!

[JWTAYLOR]

I tell ya any more of this crap and I'm gonna crack.

JWT

[Ray Pina]

Power doesn't come from the waist...

It may come through the waist, but there is not much at the "waist" in terms of power producing material, muscle, ect. Mostly fat and soft tissue.

[MightyB]

Your instructor always sounds like he's reciting fortune cookies...

Your instructor decided he was qualified to open a school because he had read all of John Little's Bruce Lee library...

Your instructor learned his forms by bringing a video camera to tournaments...

The only qualification for being a sifu is the ability to do a prescribed number of punches, kicks, and pushups in a minute...

The kung fu school is located in a Ballys Total Fitness center...

The instructor also teaches Tae Bo...

The kung fu school functions better as a collection agency than a place to learn martial arts...

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

your sifu cashes paychecks for all the local workers at $4 on the $100.

[shaolinboxer]

"It may come through the waist, but there is not much at the "waist" in terms of power producing material, muscle, ect. Mostly fat and soft tissue."

What about the obliques, gluteus, and lower abdominals?

[Mojo]

1. The instructors kung-fu silk uniform has little pink bunnies printed on them.
2. The instructor calls all of his students 'girls'.
3. Has a hat on a chain that he can decapitate people with.
4. Your told for your next test you'll have to support a 50 lb weight from your 'jewels'.
5. Every workout you have to practice the Bruce Lee 'cat yell'.

[Ray Pina]

That is what has become defined as the waist, but your abbs are not your waist. Secondly, do you plan on striking with your abs? How do you bring your abb power to your fist?

How about:

Foot against floor, up leg, through waist, combined with the largest of muscle groupings (Shoulder, upper back area) through the arm to the fist/palm.

You wouldn't push a car with your waist, why try to push your aponant with it? Full body punching is what everyone is seaking, that, and no force against great force.

[joedoe]

But the power is still generated by the turning of the waist.

[Mutant]

All your body has to work in harmony, in a coordinated, well timed concert to generate great power...The waist IS a key part of the power generation, it doesn't just come through the waist, it is greatly amplified by the torquing of the waist. We do have muscles at and around the waist, and conditioning them is important. Pushing type power is different from short power (fa li & fa jing), which relies as much on the waist, as it does the legs, to achieve its explosiveness. The quick explosiveness at the waist is usually timed with the legs, but its own definable element. You can even launch into that explosive torque sitting down, so its not reliant on the legs (although it sure benefits from them a lot!)...The abs, triceps and other muscles and tendons all come into play, amplifying the power in a concatanary affect.

[Ray Pina]

Mutant, you have me worried now. What's with "tricep".

I will admit that the waist plays an important role, but it is not the source.

Tricep power is weak. What about Bear? Bear and Eagle?Brear/Tiger/Eagle?

Tricep power is like calling your little brother to come do the fighting for you. Works for some. I'd rather call my big brother and his friends.

The waist adds that whipping type power, but the depth, the true deep power: Bear! Bear! Bear! Drilling fist type of power.

Bear is my favorite land animal too by the way.

[Chang Style Novice]

Bear is my favorite kind of g@y porn.

Did I say that out loud?

(on edit)

No, seriously. If all you mean by 'waist' is the imaginary line midway between ribs and pelvis, of course no power can be generated by it. If you mean all the muscles and tendons that connect the upper half of the body to the lower half, of course power can be generated by it.

Structurally, the lower abdomen is like a tube stuffed with guts, a semi-rigid spine providing a small amount of support, and big, strong muscles on the front back and sides. Because there is relatively little bone structure there, and the structure that does exist is divided into many joints providing for a lot of flexibility, the waist is probably the most amorphous and therefore multipurpose part of the body. Does any other part bend forward, back, left, right, and twist both clockwise and counterclockwise? Yes, but I'll leave it to you to figure out which one (it's much smaller and has fewer martial applications.)

Anyway, due to these traits and the fact that it connects the support structures of the upper limbs and lower limbs, the waist is absolutely vital for transferring power from root/foot to fist. If you use it to add power by coordinating waist movement with hand movement, you can double striking power, easy. You double the muscles you use to hit, you double the strength of the hit, QED. Get the root and legs in on the deal, and you're talking some serious pop!

[David]

How do you punch or chop without your triceps? Oh, you do haymakers.

[Chang Style Novice]

Oops! I just thought of some more parts of the body that demonstrate all the bending motions I associated with the waist. Now there's six: waist, ?, and two sets of two. Anyway, the waist is by far the largest and most powerful of them.

[JWTAYLOR]

Psoas Major.
Psoas Minor.

Another couple of major muscles of the area.

JWT

[Ray Pina]

"How do you punch or chop without your triceps? Oh, you do haymakers."

With all do respect, I need to know: Do you really want to know, or are you trying to be cute while at the same time revealing your level of understanding and external outlook.

The reason Hsing-I and Ba Gua goes through many other styles like a hot knofe through butter is that while they're flapping their arms around with triceps like a limp di(k, the internalist maintains a single strong structure and drives it out with the foot, back/shoulder muscles. You can not compare the power of the two.

Every try to start a rip cord lawnmower by doing curls? No! Of course not. You grab it and rip it back with your shoudler/back muscles. Same thing when turning a wench, loosening a heavy bolt with a wrench.

To quote Dan Akroid in Spies Like US: "We mock what we don't understand."

[shaolinboxer]

"The reason Hsing-I and Ba Gua goes through many other styles like a hot knofe through butter is that while they're flapping their arms around with triceps like a limp di(k, the internalist maintains a single strong structure and drives it out with the foot, back/shoulder muscles. You can not compare the power of the two. "

That is very presumtuous, IMO.

Really, you need to use you tricepts to some extent to extend your arms. Not that you strength, power come exclusively or primarily from this muscle group. But it is impossible not to engage the muscles required by human anatomy for arm extension. Even in aikido, with it's "unbendable arm" and need for relaxation, the tricep is engaged.

"the internalist maintains a single strong structure and drives it out with the foot, back/shoulder muscles."

Wow, that sounds like wushu. No wait, boxing. No wait, wing chun. Acutually that doesn't sound "internal" at all, just good way to throw a punch or palm strike.

[Mutant]

EV, I'm not stating that the what you described is wrong, just one way of projecting power. What you explain is consitant with many arts, its a way of striking, pushing, warding off, whatever. But its not the only way (or nessesarily the best way). And its not just internal -vs- external. What I was describing should also done very relaxed to flow chi with proper alignment and can create a sort of power pulse. I was taught that they can be 'internal' too. I practice both kinds of strikes and they are different tools for differert intents or applications. But just because you focus on the type of strike you describe, does not mean its the only effective way. And I wasnt saying that the legs arent important; they are. But so is the waist. And the rest of the body/system. The waist is also the vacinity of the dan tien as well. It doesnt not need to be held static so that you just push through it. Put it to work for you. And lots of internal styles utilize waist rotation...look at tai chi for example, many examples in the form (in Chen style its very emphasized) and even push hands exercize. And CMA have many expercises specifically for conditioning the muscle and tendon groups I mentioned that you seem to think are a joke. I'm not saying that what you perscribed was wrong...except maybe I disagree that you say those muscles are unnessesary, you need them just to expend you arm and take form (not full of tension, but relaxed, too) I'm just saying that there are other types of strikes that are powerful too, and if you disregard them or dismiss them as ineffective, it may be that you don't fully understand them and they may surprise you one day. Thats all.
Regards,

[Ray Pina]

Mutant, no argument here, I know that you undersand. As for the abbs and triceps, of coarse you use every muscle, otherwise we'd be spilled all over the floor like jello. But, as martial artist, or better yet, people trying to perfect there fighting, I think its important to distinguish between elementary info and that info that seperates the men from the boys so to speak. A right cross will drop you plane and simple. No duh, knew that when I was 8 on the playground. If you wan to end the discussion there, fine. Join the ranks of the other 1.3 billion men who know that.
But to go deeper, finding the source of that extra power, the one that says, holly $hit, how did that little guy hit like a lead pip, is something different.

Here's a post I posted in reply elsewhere that sums yup my point:

My 1992 Chevy Cavalier has a stearing wheel and uses one peddle to go fast and one peddle to slow down and even stop. Has a pair of lights in the front and some red ones in the back. Even has a radio.

I heard that Mercedes also have these features. Think anyone will confuse my Chevy for a Mercedes and give me $35,000 for it?

Don't be confused by the surface -- that's external. It's the intagible, theory behind the movements that's of value.

----
The discussion above is trying to find similiar features between two seperate apraoches. Of coarse the tricep will be involved, but that is not where the power is coming from. Shaolin, aren't you studying Ba GUa now? The first thing you do when you see your teacher is ask him to explain Bear/tiger/eagle to you.

You will see what I mean. This is elementary internal 101. Not trying to make this a this verse that post. Not saying one is better then the other though there is no question about it, but saying the source is different. The intent is different. That tricep alone type of punching, even boxing to a degree, is brawling, too much trading, too much I hit you while you try to hit me.

Keep your door closed, open there door, then hit.

[Chang Style Novice]

I would posit that additional power for a blow comes from every set of muscles that is added to the motion in a well coordinated way. So, sure a punch is going to gain some pop from tricep action, assuming form is good.

This begs the question of kicks, though. The forms I've learned don't rely on them much, and mine are cr@ppy as all getout, but doesn't my argument imply that kicks will be inherently WEAKER than punches, since you're only using leg power and not full-body power? From what I can tell, this isn't true in general practice, so where am I going wrong? Do most people not know how to punch powerfully as we've been describing, is there some method to kicking that I don't get, or is my understanding of developing hand power just plain wrong (this last seems least likely.)

[Colin]

You know your kung fu sucks if:-

1. Your instructor calls himself Si-Jo, after only 5 years training! :eek:

2. You study "Lions Claw Kung Fu". :D

3. Your sifu wears a monks rode (and has never even been to Shaolin). :rolleyes:

4. If your sifu calls himself Si-Jo Lee. :eek:


Ok lads, you can get back to your discussion!

cheers
Colin............

[xiong]

CSN: I think that the lack of whole body commitment to kicks is somewhat made up for by the fact that you are using the largest muscles in your body.

Although there are some who have refined the whipping basis of power, around the waist as a fulcrum, to be able to do it equally well with arms and legs.

By the way that Bear Porn joke was ****ing funny.

This has turned into a rather interesting thread.

[Ray Pina]

I'll say this about kicking. If you kick like TKD, leaning back to get your leg higher, your kicking doesn't have that much power. And, in fact, I'd be willing to take it it straight up, because then you can be tossed.

But, if you kick like a man, going in, your body going it but leading with the foot, then your kick does have your whole body behind it and you better get out of the way. That way, or you can train like an animal, like Muay Tai, and kick trees. Then you better get out of the way too.

Again with the punching though, yea, full body. But some portions are more important. Sometimes you don't have the convenience. What if you are off guard. Leaning up against the wall at the club packed between a few people. Bear/tiger/eagle will generate trendous power for you to clear and strike simulatously.

I won't press the matter further, because frankly, I hope to God everybody out there relies on tricep power. Please train this. Do curls. Lift more weight and train to fight against the weight, fight the resistance. Hopefully you'll never figth someone bigger then you, the equivalent of trying to bench 800 lbs.

[MightyB]

Your sifu tells you that in order to learn monkey kung fu, you first must wear nothing but a diaper and play with yourself spider monkey style, then, if your attacked, fling turds at your attacker and scream like a maniac.

[Ray Pina]

You know your kung fu sucks if you've been training for ten years and never been hit.

[ewallace]

You know your kung fu sucks if you've been training for ten years and never hit anyone.

[fa_jing]

If one rotates the hips into the kick, it becomes very powerful.
-FJ

[HuangKaiVun]

I consider myself an internal stylist, but I wouldn't want to mess with a good TKD fighter.

The ones I've seen have had great kick control, using them the way we use hands.

When they start wearing boots with steel tips and stuff, it becomes really frightening to fight these guys. Taking a hit from such a kicker can mean losing your consciousness in the process.


Besides, there are internal styles like Tongbei or Drunken style that have a whipping jing that can really hurt an opponent.

Such arts encourage the linear entry of an opponent in order to spin off oblique attacks. "Hot Knife Through Butter" - sometimes the butter is not the goal of the knife.

These arts generate their power by contracting the dantien and then whipping opponents with a burst of energy.

[MightyB]

You start writing BS about TKD in the middle of a thread with nothing related to anything that you're trying to contribute...

You created your own style in your garage after watching one too many kung fu movies...

You try faking a lineage to some other imaginary kung fu...

[HuangKaiVun]

Spoken like a true nonpractitioner, MightyB.

[Ray Pina]

HUng I agree.

However, punching is for fighting kicking is for killing.

What I don't like about TKD, and why I really don't worry about them, is that they have no set up.

After chi sauing and doing in close fighting for some time now, a lead kick, done there way, is seen well in advance and allows a lot of time for change.

I believe punching and kicking need to work together like soldiers and aircraft. One needs to get in there to make the pressnce known while the other supports and gives devestating blows.

YOu can't just kick someone with any experince. A child knows to move back and wait for the foot to land. A better person knows how to move in and absorb it while breaking their supporting leg. If you make them busy with the hands, these things slip in more easily.

TKD really has no method of fighting. Its merely trading round houses and side kicks, no matter how strong the kicking might be. In fact, compare their kicking to Muay Tai, they have nothing.

I consider TKD a sportive contest, not a way of war. That's just my opinion though based on the 70 some odd tournaments I've been to in my life. Very sloppy, zero technique. Though I see the same at many kung fu tournaments too.

PS
You know your kung fu sucks when you get insulted when people dis your style, becuase if it didn't, you wouldn't care and simply say: Come see for yourself.

[MightyB]

If you're an angry midget who's too lazy to seek out a qualified teacher...

If you can't handle the learning curve of traditional CMA...

[HuangKaiVun]

I think we're talking about two different kinds of fighters, Evolutionfist.

The TKD guys I knew had it all - including wicked joint locks and pressure point stuff. They knew how to "set up" a guy - and kicking was but one of their weapons. Maybe they weren't "grapplers", but they knew what to do when grabbed.

I don't know what's going on at the Kukkiwon, but the guys I knew and studied with were older generation masters who are now in their 50s and 60s. These were seriously tough and hardened fighters, and they were not easy for me to spar against. Kicking wasn't their main priority - defeating their opponents was.

The traditional TKD that I've been exposed to looks more like what people think of as Bong Soo Han's "HapKiDo" nowadays. It has a heavy emphasis on arm movements, not just kicking attacks.

On the other hand, I've seen modern day sport TKD. It reflects its point sparring origins, and the good masters of this I've seen are very upfront about the limitations of what they do. But this art is worlds apart from the old stuff in intent and expression.

[Ray Pina]

I've heard the same. My master has actually trained with the general himself, and reports him having amazing abilities, of being a great martial artist.

Take it from me, in a few short generations it has become *******ized. I'm talking from experience. I've gone and fought these people. Zero technique.

They do practice joint locks. My friend is a black belt in the local TKD school. They stand in line while one hold out there hand the the other manipulates it. No one seems to have the sense to question what the other guy does with the other hand (sort of like the photos in these magazines). They also do forms.

But put on all the gear, even play by all their rules (no kicking the kick, no hitting the kick, kicking the otherleg, no strikes to the head, stopping when you turn them) and they still suck.

They don't build them (train them) like they used to. At least not what I have seen in North New Jersey and Long Island. Can't speak of anywhere else, but I have a strong sense that they are not training killer TKD guys in Kansas. But maybe they are.

[TenTigers]

EVO, you make a good point. I studied TKD-about 30 years ago-old school- no pads,hard contact, bare knuckles, bare feet, we did alot of punching, jabs, crosses, hooks and uppercuts, we did takedowns. But TKD today is pure sport-BUT a good TKD guy does not lean back-even modern TKD teaches that-and good TKD-(I'm talkin good TKD) has fast powerful kicks that most people feel rather than see. Sometime we judge a system by one guy-who might not be the best representative iof that system. Just as you said hsing-yi generates power differently-but I have studied Hsing-yi (still do) and Hung-Ga and there is strong similarity both internal as well as external-(what is external anyway?) meaning, the whole body is the fist, power generated from the heel through the waist and expressed in the hands-whole body ging. Again, don't judge a style by one practitioner, or one teacher. I have studied Hung-Ga under six different teachers, not one of them taught the same.

[guohuen]

Lordy Ten Tigers! Are we cousins? Same age, similar training, similar interests. I used to spar with two friends that went to the Jhoon Rhee Dojang "Call USA - 1000" 30 years ago and can agree with your assesment of TKD at the time completely.

[TenTigers]

well, we at least are gung-fu brothers-Hing-dai !!

[themeecer]

Heck, what number are we on?

27) You bring disrespect upon yourself and your school by dissing other's arts.

[crazymaddrunk]

He always has to throw his BS in, just because he got "wronged" when he went to a SD school...like that ONE school represents ALL of SD...

African Tiger is one of those guys that tries very hard to sound "intelligent", when in reality he's just another moron wannabe, dissing people on this board because he knows if he did in REAL life he'd get his candy-a$$ whipped like the little punk he is...

he prolly got kicked out of the Marines or got out on a medical, that happens a lot to non-hackers and sh!tbirds....

[rubthebuddha]

xlw -- a novel idea to bring back this thread, but it was lost on some people who don't understand the spirit of it. let's try another go:

29: everytime your sifu says, "now that we've got this part down, let's move on to the next piece," you look around nervously, because the only thing you have down is the large pepperoni from dominos you inhaled before class.

[bodhitree]

30: the horse stance can rise above 90 degree angle in the knees

[brothernumber9]

31) you learned a straight sword form in which your repeatedly stab someone between your legs and at various parts use your opposite hand to brace against the blade is if blocking like you had a broadsword instead of a straightsword.

[norther practitioner]

xie li wong
Wow, way to dig up an oldy...

:D

[CaptinPickAxe]

-You get your ass kicked by a cardio-kickboxer

-your GM is named Jebadiha Smith Wang

-your sifu is winded after the warm ups

- Your GM is the founder of the Golden Mullet form

-your instructor ask why you keep calling him "seafood"

[rubthebuddha]

your sifu is winded after the warm ups or if he's sweating from bowing in. :p

[bodhitree]

Sifu wears a gi

4 forms then black sash

Dont know combat applications

only strike/no locks or throws or grappling

no weapons

okay how about this, the tkd school that I started out at years ago said, these forms are for tradition, they dont need to be practical, we do them for tradition, ha ha ha ha
punch 'stop' block 'stop' punch 'stop' block 'stop'

hahhahahahahahahaha

[chen zhen]

TKD? Having a TRADITION?!

ROFL:D

[bodhitree]

You know your kung fu sucks if:

Your combat only includes striking and blocking

[MasterKiller]

If you can't chi blast a chicken at 10 yards with your style's secret squirrel death touch.

[bodhitree]

You let them know about the secret squirell,
Now its your time to die!

[BAI HE]

http://www.templekungfu.com/home.htm

[CaptinPickAxe]

hey, Kungrobics should be respected!
along with other ancient MA such as Escribic, Cardio-Kickboxing, and Jazzercising.

[Shaolin-Do]

You know your kung fu sucks if all you have time to do is post threads about "you know your kung fu suck if..." You just b!tch about other styles instead of training.

[Shaolin-Do]

"okay how about this, the tkd school that I started out at years ago said, these forms are for tradition, they dont need to be practical, we do them for tradition"


TKD school I went to said the same azz thing... hehehe

[xie li wong]

Originally posted by Shaolin-Do
You know your kung fu sucks if all you have time to do is post threads about "you know your kung fu suck if..." You just b!tch about other styles instead of training.


You Know your Kung Fu sucks!! If you Take the name Shaolin Do!
You know little man I was the one who pulled this old thread up Not Wushu Chik! This is a very old thread that I thought needed to be brought back out! And I would put my money on Wushu Chik any time!! I know she could hand you your ass on a platter any day!

[Shaolin-Do]

...
What a display of intelligence.

[crazymaddrunk]

......that the POSTER sucks if he's a punk from california that's dreams of getting his first lay on KFO by taking up for a chick he's never met AND he's as white as rice BUT takes a Chinese name...and has a fetish over men's asses on a platter (california will do that for you)...

[Starchaser107]

It was fun arguing with wendy back in the day. wushu chic rules!

[rubthebuddha]

wushu chic rules! your spelling is off, but your intent is wholesome and accurate. viva la chik del wushu.

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by bodhitree
4 forms then black sash

...only strike/no locks or throws or grappling

no weapons
Uh oh... sounds like most wing chun...!:D

[rubthebuddha]

it's funny cause it's true. :D

mat, you're just en fuego tonight. you been eating your wheaties?

[wushu chik]

Originally posted by crazymaddrunk
......that the POSTER sucks if he's a punk from california that's dreams of getting his first lay on KFO by taking up for a chick he's never met AND he's as white as rice BUT takes a Chinese name...and has a fetish over men's asses on a platter (california will do that for you)...

Obviously you seem to know a LOT about nothing CMD. First off...who says I've never met XLW? You'd know right? I didn't think so.

You sure have a lot to say about people you have no idea about. Who's the keyboard jockey on KFO? I think the troll of the year should be taken from XLW and given to CrazyMadDrunk just for being a complete fu(king know it all! Either that or just being a big baby!

Starchaser107- It was fun & thanks!

XLW- You ass...why'd you bring this back?

RTB- Ringrazia il mio amico! ;)

~Wen~

[rubthebuddha]

prego, il mia amica. ;)

[Stacey]

First of all Wendy's a cool girl, but I rogered her once and frankly it was nothing to brag about. The Wushu made for a nice ass, but somehow her skills in kung fu didn't transfer.


And yes, Shaolin-Do is a bad joke and naming yourself Shaolin-Do is a testament to your training.

You might be a good student, but better to be an average student at harvard than a strait A student from Sally Struthers correspondence University.

[wushu chik]

Stacey-
My kung fu skills are HARDLY lacking....and as for "rogering me" once?? Only in your dreams tiny!

[joedoe]

Hey Wen. Nice of you to pop in.

[Stacey]

I never said your kung fu skills were lacking, only your bedroom abilities. Usually good kung fu = good sex. Heres a clue, next time..you move. Its like tai chi, all in the hips. And whats this about tiny? It seemed to do the trick.

[wushu chik]

Hey Joe!!!

I heard about the little thread reincarnation, and had to come back and see what all the fuss was about....obviously it's still the same here as always!!

Stacey-

Oh...those skills?? Yeah, they're CERTAINLY not lacking...I have NO complaints there...except you. Obviously your own dreams and fantasies can't even pay off?? Poor poor guy! Time to move on to pron!

[Shaolin-Do]

I named myself shaolin-do knowing full well itd **** of some folks here... Dont really care.

[rubthebuddha]

it did, and most of them got over it. a couple children still haven't, but that's ok.

now the only person you have to worry about is AT, because he's been pinching from your stash for a few weeks now.

[old jong]

When you won first prize in "Musical Kata" competition by performing a new "Double Kama" routine you just created and you have to choose from that assortment of gifts from the sponser of the event!... (http://www.cowpieclocks.com/gallery.html) :( :rolleyes:

[rubthebuddha]

if any event you participate in is sponsored by paul mitchell.

[Shaolin-Do]

" AT, because he's been pinching from your stash for a few weeks now."

Ahhh... Was worried that I had smoked myself retarded and misplaced my pot.
:rolleyes:

[rubthebuddha]

a little from column A, a little from column B ...

[old jong]

...If you read that!... (http://firefly.sparse.org/~mrt/cgi-bin/t.cgi?field=http%3A%2F%2Fezine.kungfumagazine.com% 2F)
;)

[crazymaddrunk]

...sounds like you know most of the males on the board....maybe you should change your name to sl*t-shu...

[crazymaddrunk]

the only thing I can say about you is, LOL, look at your profile, "mindless"...I'd say taht fit you to a "T"....

the only thing that may be good about you is that you rogered Sl*t-shu Chik, hope you pounded her stupid @ss good

[norther practitioner]

Yeah, she knows most of the guys on the forum, look at how many posts she has... She had established herself, and a few of us know her to the extent of how well you could know them from a forum.. you seem to think you know these people after only a few posts, and maybe a couple months on the board....:rolleyes:
You're really just trolling now...... go figure.

[crazymaddrunk]

the thing I get from you NP is that you are a sensitive guy...you're just picking on me now because I hurt your feelings...hey NP, it's all in good fun ;-)

I'll be truthful, I like your answers to other threads and find you one of the more intelligent posters on here, NP...but to keep on belittling SD when you weren't there decades ago to know what really happened should be beneath you.

[crazymaddrunk]

I will belittle, talk about, call names, make jokes, about anyone that does the same about the ma I enjoy (or have enjoyed in the past)....I troll where I see the trollers...

[Laughing Cow]

Originally posted by crazymaddrunk
I will belittle, talk about, call names, make jokes, about anyone that does the same about the ma I enjoy (or have enjoyed in the past)....I troll where I see the trollers...

Uuuh, what a mature attitude, really becoming of a MA and it reflects really well back onto your style.

You sure you are a Cop in NY, because you sure as hell don't sound like one.
;)

[CaptinPickAxe]

LC,

He sounds like someone who went to my Kwoon, named Reed.
He was obsessed with the Crazy Mad Drunken form.

[crazymaddrunk]

LC- who are you to talk of mature attitudes? Attitudes are a "reflection"....

and yes, been at the same precinct for 2 years now..."I don't sound like a cop?" what does that mean?

[CaptinPickAxe]

He's really pist too, huh?

It means exactly what he wrote. I think you sound like a child.

[crazymaddrunk]

reflects on my style? it reflects on Hung Gar?

[TjD]

...you hide behind deadly techniques, instead of the tried and true practice of hitting people hard.

[Laughing Cow]

Originally posted by crazymaddrunk
LC- who are you to talk of mature attitudes? Attitudes are a "reflection"....


Yep, a reflection of your personality.



and yes, been at the same precinct for 2 years now..."I don't sound like a cop?" what does that mean?

Most Cops I know tend to be careful with they say online, especially when it comes to swearing and what can be perceived as libel/slander.

Why, complaints about their conducts don't go down well at their precincts.

Said that most of those guys been on the force atleast 10~15yrs.

Just my experience and opinion naturally.

[crazymaddrunk]

No LC, as in immature attitudes=more immature attitudes

libel/slander LOL where you at california?

[CaptinPickAxe]

Slander is in Texas too....

[Laughing Cow]

CMD.

Naah, not american and glad of it.

[crazymaddrunk]

LC - that makes two of us, I'm glad you're not American too

must be canadian

[Laughing Cow]

Originally posted by crazymaddrunk
LC - that makes two of us

Ooh, aint that nice of you.

Wonder if you still talk the same ****e when you are face to face with people?

Hmm, 2 yrs at the same precinct = either rookie cop or being transfered a lot.

Have a nice day.

[Shaolin-Do]

"You sure you are a Cop in NY, because you sure as hell don't sound like one"

eh? Petty, imature, apparent inferiority complex? Sounds exactly like a cop.

:D


CMD - Have you posted one intelligent thing yet? If you wish to defend SD, make yourself look like less of an @ss. It gives the rest of us a bad name. Your attitude is the exact thing we have been working on proving that we are not.

[wushu chik]

Originally posted by crazymaddrunk
...sounds like you know most of the males on the board....maybe you should change your name to sl*t-shu...

Whoa....you sound like the type of guy most sl*ts would date. Mindless, stupid, and a complete fu(king waste of skin! Unfortunately, I don't fit into that category!

I've been on KFM for ohhh, almost 4 years...so yeah, I know a LOT of the guys on a "impersonal" personal basis. If that makes me a sl*t...well, then I guess that makes me a sl*t.

Just for the record though...just because you're not getting the blowjobs in the back alleys of NYC police car, don't take it out on me! Maybe you should start asking the guys...I'm sure you can scare them with some of your SD techniques!

Have a wonderful day! :D

(BTW- this was in no way a "Dig" on SD....just so you know ;)..)

[Shaolin-Do]

Wouldnt really say you "know" people online... Close aquaintances.... Cant really know anyone till you meet them IMHO...
:)

[joedoe]

Originally posted by Shaolin-Do
Wouldnt really say you "know" people online... Close aquaintances.... Cant really know anyone till you meet them IMHO...
:)

I disagree with that - often people are more candid online because there isn't the possible embarrassment of face-to-face interaction. People maintained friendships with pen pals for years before the internet. ;)

[Shaolin-Do]

Theres also complete frauds.
:eek:

Im sure most on here are sincere however... :)

[xie li wong]

In most cases you can really get to know a person online because they're not afraid to hide who they are. I totally agree with Joe on this. I know what I know about martial arts...and I know a lot of people on here know their stuff when it comes to MA. But, there are also a few (CMD for instance) that couldn't say an intelligent word to save his life. It's just how some are!

[Volcano Admim]

Well, young ones

Volcanos thousand virgin years wiseness is again called to testify itself

Wisdom:
True for all male posters - males that post here more than 10 times per week are the ones that havent been getting quality BJs daily.

[rubthebuddha]

True for all male posters - males that post here more than 10 times per week are the ones that havent been getting quality BJs daily. wisest thing a volcano has ever said. :o

of course, half the people on this forum have a start date in 1969, so our post averages are wee bit low ;)

[Shaolin-Do]

ehehehe....
How does one get that start date btw?


"males that post here more than 10 times per week are the ones that havent been getting quality BJs daily."

Or we're getting paid hourly to be here... :eek:
:D

[norther practitioner]

We've just been here that long..lol

It was a default whent he forum went back up online.. it took a little while before they changed the date to the real one...:D

[Ray Pina]

"males that post here more than 10 times per week are the ones that havent been getting quality BJs daily."

Not true! Well, maybe not daily;)

[Volcano Admim]

I specificly said "quality" and "daily"

sorry son, i know its tough