Need help - stress and anger

[jon]

Im sorry for posting this hear and realise this is not a board for personal problems. Hence i will attempt to try and make this relate a little to my training as well.
Im posting here becouse in all honesty i dont actualy feel comfortable discussing such things with any of my regular friends.

Im starting to seriously flip out...
Im getting stressed out and bitterly angry and nearly anything and everything. I feel half the time like i want to simply do my nut and start wailing on people in the street. This problem is multiplied ten fold when i drive. I seriously am not handling things which most people dont even blink about.
Ive also compleatly given up all fear of being hurt by other guys and have begun to act on occasion outright rudely to people who could have wiped the floor with me. Its like im trying to get myself hurt. Im finding myself swearing violently under my breath whenever im walking behind someone slower. I walk THROUGH buisness people and wont budge an inch. If anyone gives me even the slightest flack i take it like a personal challenge. I feel like a full kettle thats on the boil and yet people keep trying to add more hot water.

This is also starting to affect my martial arts.
I drilled Tai Chi in strait line movements at full power for over 45 minutes and didnt stop untill my sifu litteraly came over and asked me to relax. I was simply trying to throw my arms out of there sockets:( This is not the way to train and the expression on his face clearly showed concern. I was performing 'stroke the horse main' like i was trying to break someone in half with it. Needless to say this is not even proper Tai Chi....

The reason im asking this now is becouse i have to do a performance tommorow night. There will be over 200 hundred people there and most of them martial artists. Im already starting to stress thinking about it and i have this image in my mind of elderly Chinese shaking there head saying 'no good'! I REALLY want to be a good reflection on my master and i cant handle the idea of people judging him poorly based on me.


I know this proberly just sounds like a random rant...
I just really need some solid advice on what to do about stress and my general state.
Im sorry to waste anyones time but i would appreciate any advice anyone has to offer.

As a side note...
Tai Chi is not calming me down, i simply look at the ways in which i can do damage with it. I hardly think twise about any other aspect, see where im going here?
Anybody:(

[diego]

sensation's?:D
Have you bumped your head, Recently.
maybe it's one scenario bieng high off power, like you focus on isolating your strentgh so much, you see somebody who get's under your skin. you territorialy/unconsciously
want to manipulate thier strentgh testing your power??.
I dont know thats as much as i could deduce, or your just an ******* with heart as you realize your spazz'n:)

[Repulsive Monkey]

From based ONLY on what you said, and coming from a TCM perspective, there is a possibility that there could be whats known as a Mother/Child condition going on. Fear from the impending pressure of the performance which is yet to manifest (i.e on the night's expectations) may have weakened/unbalanced your Kidneys to a certain degree, and as the Kidneys gives rise to creating the Liver/Gall Bladder energies, they have gotten out of sync and thus have allowed your anger to get out of balance. The Chinese doctors would say that one could placate the crying child (in this case the unbalanced Liver causing over the top anger) however it would be best to get to the root and treat the Kidney, maybe, ( the the unbalanced mother, who when is treated will be able to nurse the child(Liver energy) back to balance). Thus the symptoms are not necessarily the root cause, i.e. the anger and apparent Liver imbalance if treated may not correct your state completely. Why would a performance like that bring on anger? It sounds like with any normal person ,experienced or not, fear would be the natural thing to experience to a certain degree, and Chinese Medicine the Kidney's are the root of the Liver, thus fear may of given way to the angry outbursts.

Go check yourself out with a TCM Doctor, or even better a 5- Element Doctor of Chinese Medicne. They could get to work immediately on you and make good progress I would feel.

Take care.

[diego]

******* with weak kidney's:)

[vingtsunstudent]

jon my man, how it be
take breath & i mean literally.
bud, it sounds like me every day.
it's called married with children.:D
and the fact i'm getting old doesn't help:mad:
well i feel better after that........don't you.
fair dinkum(god i love being an aussie:)) though
don't worry about the demo, if you F up so long as you & your teacher know your skill level & are both happy with how hard you practice, who cares what they think.
you know it might be just the insentive you need to become a eunich & train to take revenge at a later date by killing them all in one almighty fit of road rage whilst they are on a pilgrimage to the shoalin temple.
you know, or some BS like that.
anyways, i'm sure you'll do fine.........unless of course you choose suicide before hand:eek:
be happy be cool;)
vts

[diego]

you'll do fine.........unless of course you choose suicide before hand

[David]

When I'm in that state (different but the same), I visualise buying the person(s) concerned a drink in a bar - all smiles and benevolence etc. Doing that stimulates my sense of humour, calming me down so I can enjoy being me again.

Good luck with the demo.

[Sharky]

I'm the same. Mate you jus gotta kp smiling. Realise what life is - nothing. You may as well have a good time. Nothing *REALLY* matters, apart from your friends and family. Not really. It's like, you are short on cash, but you want to buy something... what will REALLY happen if you jus thing fu.ck it and buy it anyway? Usually, not much. But we stress about stupid things like this.

I too feel like i am at breaking point. My problem is depression making me lazy. I was in a car crash a week ago, i wrote off my friends car in a massive accident when the breaks failed... it turns out i wasn't insured (he thought i was and told me so) and now i am gonna have to do community service, get my license taken off me, and pay a fine. He loses his car. At least we weren't hurt though. BIG things like this jus KEEP happening to me. Uni has been ****e for me. I hate my course and have so much work and don't want to work.... but...

...you just gotta bend over and take it.

We need GDA to tell us the meaning of life. I know his views on what life *really* is, and share them. Unfortunately.

[Chang Style Novice]

Longtimers may remember my RAGE! post about eight months ago. Suffice it to say, I had the same problems as you. I took my Shifu's advice (he's also a TCM/herbal medicine guy) and strengthened my lung qi to balance the kidney qi, an excess of which was said to be causing the problems. It seems to be working.

1 - Excercize your lungs. Shout or sing as loud as you can every day, and do pushups to exhaustion every day.

2 - eat pears. They're coming into season now, too!

3 - deep breathing qigong.

I still have more anger than most folks, but I'm able to handle it better than I was before.

[Former castleva]

When it comes to the test,please try to relax and forget about your surroundings.
Your sifu and your audience is going to see you´re doing all you can-your best.
:)
You´re probably going to feel good about yourself then and things work out better.
You aren´t alone.
Life usually feels/seems to be very bad,it might be,personally speaking.
Depression tears one apart all the time.
Often one would just like to fall,lay on my back.
Wait and see how it´s snowing,burying one under.
Or burning on the lawn.

:confused:

Good luck.

[David Jamieson]

jon, spend time meditating.

when your done with the session, really feel how you feel and maintain that. if it wanes, sit and meditate again.

meditation transports itself into your daily life.

formerly uncontrollable emotion is more readily regulated when the self is calmed through meditative practice.

find the root of what is causing you emotional problem and deal with it. Perhaps you just need to say something to someone about how you feel. Or perhaps you need to face something that you have not dealt with and look at it for what it is and from there just understanding the nature of it can releave the emotional angst you experience.

calmness and the ability to calm the mind and body are key.
just my opinion.
peace

[Cody]

Hi jon,

Your post very much belongs on this board.

I think that Kung Lek's suggestion of finding the root of the disturbance within your heart, and the means to express it directly, are the rational keys to alleviating the hurt.

Displaced anger can play real havoc. It goes everywhere and can even feel disconnected. Can occur when you think the anger is inappropriate or seemingly impossible to resolve. I think one target can be turning the anger inward as well.

I'm going to suggest some dynamics which might be going on here. If I am wrong, well, I don't know you and please forgive my misunderstanding.

It could be that your self-restraint, and cerebral avoidance of conflict which intertwine like how the trunks of some trees grow up from the ground, have been challenged. You didn't expect this rage. It wasn't supposed to happen to you. You're good.

It could be that you feel cornered. I don't know how this particular demo figures in differently than others in content or timing, other students, other people. More than one situational cause.

Rash behavior, or complete backing off can take place when one feels overwhelmed. In both, there can be immense anger. And men are different. I mean, I'm a girl. Well, older than a girl, but you know. From my point of view, when something occurs which might call into question who we are in terms of how we view ourselves and how others see us, it can shake the building. As well-fixed as anyone is in life -- in job, life work (as MA can be), relationships, and as good in heart as one is, these situations can occur because of underlying conflict or competition with another person which is not taken seriously at its onset, or because of other changes which are unexpected. These were examples which may or may not be relevant.
Whom were you "trying to break...in half"? Or, who could it have been? Do you feel that someone has tried to do that to you and you have no recourse? Why?

It has been my experience that T'ai Chi is not calming during high emotion. I'm not into meditation (moving or still) for this either, but that's me, not a blanket statement. It doesn't mean that these techniques would have failed you or that you have failed; just means that another way needs to be found. One is to forget about the energy and the restraint and poetry, and just put on the gloves and have at a heavy bag. Yell, cry and finally say to yourself at least what the h*** is wrong. My next step, would be to talk to someone about it.

Recall the love you have for yourself and for your fellows and use it to regain a moment of what was your normal frame of mind. Find a middle ground between who you were then and how you are acting now, and have respect for both states. You might be just trying to protect yourself, oddly enough. hard to explain. Well, I'm thinking that your kindness of heart might not seem to be enough, all the self-discipline, and you are defending with an anger that could destroy what you have built because you are feeling the need for something more or something else. Not knowing what to do, you feel angry. Not feeling up to this, you feel angry. And it goes on.

Well, I hope I've said something helpful, relevant. I don't know you, or the world that is yours. I only Know my own, which isn't all that pretty. I think the best anyone can do is to be completely themselves, and that also includes being familiar with the shadows of ones heart and mind, bringing them into balance and being whole. That is being the best you can be.

In the gentle of heart, rage can be the outgrowth of unacknowledged anger. Feelings are just there. There is room for negotiation and change up to a point. Control comes from understanding, and there is no shame in that.

take care,
Cody

[Sharky]

Yeah man, remember to breathe. Take deep breath, into your STOMACH (if u get me). Remember that nothing really matters. Most things are just superficial, and they only matter in your head.

Take care.

[nospam]

jon,

...it sounds to me as if your training effects are getting out of control. This does happens on occassion. I would do as Kung Lek suggested, as to me, your bursting with Yang. To settle this and find balance, you need to bring Yin to bare. Meditation is a tried and tested method - of many.

We all experience flux. Part of what we need to realise is our training is one part of the whole. Develop your yin and if not done already, expand outside activities to assist in releasing and maintaining a balanced structure - holistically.

nospam.
:cool:

[Ryu]

Jon, I know somewhat what you're going through.
Because it happens to me on occasion, and is something I've fought with all my life (the funny Evil Ryu joke I do here represents a reality for me to be honest...)
I'm not a psychologist, but your anger could be coming from a myriad of different places. You've got to take a look at yourself and find out what you are feeling. Why are you angry like this? What caused it? Why do you allow yourself to go with it, and what can be done to stop it? It's perfectly fine to get angry. A person who says you should "never be angry" is a fool.
But anger can be one of our most destructive emotions if we don't know how to leash it. I know for sure that if my anger gets the better of me and I don't stop it before a certain point...it will literally possess me and there's nothing "I" can do at that point.
It's absolutey true, and scary too. :( Rage makes us do things that we don't want to do. It makes us into people we don't want to be. So we have to understand it, get to the root of the problem, and make it better.
You might have some misplaced doubts about your performance and are "itching" to test it. I've gone through that phase too.
Hence the thoughts of "trying to get someone to hurt you."
Relax. Train as realistically as you can. That's what helped me.
(and a few fights but DON"T do that :D LOL )
Meditation is a good suggestion, but remember that in order to do it you have to be able to relax your mind. Sitting still with a raging mind is TERRIBLY annoying and makes you more angry and frusterated. Talk to someone. Talk to a friend, a teacher, a monk, a priest, a counselor. Anyone you want. Don't hold your feelings in. The biggest mistake we make as men is trying to hold our emotions in and seem like we can "take it." It's BS. Dialogue is the way to heal problems. We're a social animal.
Take 15 minutes or so out of everday and sit quietly. Reflect on yourself. Figure out why you are angry. When you KNOW what you are angry at it becomes easier to handle. Sometimes you are RIGHT to be angry. But despite that, if you become unhealthy only you suffer....
Hope that helps. And let us know how things go okay? :)
Try some chanting, prayers, etc. Read some religious books, go to a place that makes you feel at ease.

Take care,
Ryu

[Ryu]

Also,
Sharky's heart is in the right place, but I don't think that saying "nothing matters" really truly helps in a situation like this.
Because the reality is that emotions DO matter to the person. You can't simply ignore what's bothering you. You have to face it and understand it.
But I know that's not the point you were implying, Sharky. :)
Cheers.

Ryu

[Sharky]

No, you didn't understand what i meant.

Clearly.

[prana]

Ahhh so much good advice already on this board, I am shy even to contribute, but here is my penny worth.


Im getting stressed out and bitterly angry and nearly anything and everything. I feel half the time like i want to simply do my nut and start wailing on people in the street. This problem is multiplied ten fold when i drive. I seriously am not handling things which most people dont even blink about.


The man that suddenly realises that the crystal clear pond water is full of contaminants, begins to avert at the water he consumes. Although my analogy is stupid, on the contrary to your believe, I think it is great. You are becoming sensitive to your inner self, the monkey mind that is in all of us. Some block it out, some cotniue to drink from the pond, and others choose to discover it more and more.

Perhaps with your renewed level of mindfulness, you could dedicate a part of your time to first celebrate your awareness of the humans monkey mind, secondly, to understand that they are thoughts which have manifested again due to your past habits, karma. And thirdly to use it as a precious opportunity, a tool, to train yourself to remain (Goenka's favourite word) "Equanimous", or non-dual in nature.

I think this opportuniry has arisen due to some good fortune or good karma on your behalf, perhaps ask from your shifu, how so one can improve oneself with this new found awareness.


Tai Chi is not calming me down, i simply look at the ways in which i can do damage with it. I hardly think twise about any other aspect, see where im going here?

I see where you are going. When you practise, place your mind emptily in your movements. Let your mind be in your arms that move. Remain unattached to the sensations, or manifestations of energy that accompanies it. Blend with your body and starve your thoughts with the supreme-blade of non-duality, watch it like a doctor wacthes the wound of a child. Or even, simply sit and relax in emptiness, watch your thoughts dance like a violent storm on Venus... like I said, so much good advice has already been given :)

On a sidenote, I remember another master once said, "you cannot change everyone else around you, but you have the power to change yourself". People are going to be there, in your way. It is the way of samsara.

Me thinks this is a great time to proceed to your sifu. You once told me he was an incredibly compassionate and wise man. There cannot be much more worthy advice from him, except from your mother. Best you seek your shifu's wisdom before you regret it. This is precious indeed. ;)

Take care...

[red_fists]

Hi Jon.

Here are my 2 worthless Yen of advice.

Personally, I think you are getting frustrated with your own progress, and are trying to achieve beyond your current ability. Or maybe you simply hit another plateau in your training and progression is slowing down.

Happens to all of us, but I think you will feel it heavier as you train full-time.

I think you need something to balance your training time(Work, GF, Wife, Kids, whatever).

Maybe you should also take a few days rest from training, don't think your Sifu will mind at all.

So take it easy and rather than trying to perform Tai Chi simply let it flow out of you for some time.

As one of my Instructors said:
"Don't try to do it, don't think about doing it, simply do it".

Granted it was an external MA Instructor, but I think his advise still holds true.

Just my lil' old advice.

[jon]

Thank you so much to everyone for there imput.
There really has been a lot of great advice given and i will try and look into all of it.
Its great to know there are so many good hearted martial artists in this world. I sometimes feel that most of us have turned into ego centric self worshipers but this has again showed me the spirit is not lost.
Thank you all for taking the time to help a fellow ma brother :)

[lazybones]

Hi Jon,
Theres already been tonnes of great advice given on this topic already but I thought I'd just share my opinion. From your posts, you sound like you are a very dedicated student. You sound like you train hard (not just for the upcoming demonstration) and put your heart into your martial art. It would seem to me that you are good at what you do and will in all likelihood give a good performance.
I understand that it is often very difficult to not care about what others think of you and to have faith in your own abilities but it would be good if you could do it. I reckon that however you do, as long as you tried your hardest, your sifu should be proud of you. Best of luck,

[Tae Li]

sorry to take this discussion the wrong way but i need someone to quickly tell me about the origin of martial arts...

real quick, its for an exercise.

why did it come into being and when?

for combat during the wars?

Tae Li;)

give me a real breif when and why....

[Tae Li]

need a quick definiton of internal and external.....

[Serpent]

Tae Li, start a new thread you nut bar! How rude! Besides, that's a massive question. In short, people needed to kick but.

Jon, might I suggest something? Take a week off. You train full time, full on and it sounds like you need a break. Try to relax over this demo, do your best and that's all anyone can expect. Your sifu will know if you did your best and that's all that matters.

Besides, people suck. Too many rats in a small space will start eating each other. People do it too, only less obviously. So don't be concerned with rage as it happens to us all, you just got an imbalance going on. When the demo is over take a few days, chill out, don't train. Maybe swim some, read, take walks, get laid, but get kung fu out of your head for a while and do some nice, soft things. Breathe a lot, stretch a lot and reeeee-lax!

That's my advice, for what it's worth.

[Tae Li]

sorry, but i found my answer by using my brain...thanx anyway serpent!!

[Tae Li]

Jon, firstly i just want to say sorry for barging in on such a thread, i didnt actually read the first post just went straight to the reply.

so sorry.

Secondly, i know how you feel...not exactly but fairly close. I am a girl who sometimes has a short fuse, really impatient, bad tempered and all the rest.

Not often though. The driving, walking in the street, even answering the phone gets on my nerve!

and i thought that taking martial arts for five years would change things but not really.

I cant really give you any great advise cos i would have taken it myself, but i can say that if you look deep enough into a problem you will realise its not there. And if thats not true, i can say that a problem never seems not bad until you have seen worse.

I have seen you fight....your brilliant.....dont stress so much about tomorrow night, just go out there,perform your best. Rather than focusing all your energy on wondering what people wil think focus on making your sifu proud.

You will do great, your a brilliant fighter. take a deep breath, drink a cup of tea and relax. Its all in your mind, just control it.

il be cheering for you buddy.

Tae Li;)

[diego]

I'll read something in the new's Or a old friend will call and tell me what happenned to one of my olderbad friend's and how they ****ing thier life... **** will leave me in a ****y-mood, and the mind start's chatting, and it's things like i just read twopunks age 15-20 grabbed this old lady's purse she was like 85...
Now i live in a really nice part of vancouver, and back in 90 i spent alot of time on the rez wildinging with the native's, beating up on the preppy crew's, causing alot of damage., Now i'l read about these twogoofs, and i seriously wish i was still ignorant, like i'l see some punks on the bus giggln all loud swearing and ****, and i'll just sit up start waving my arms to my walkman making my presence known, i think they sense that and they shutup,,, now im not the scariest individual, but that's an example,

the best advice to medicate, i alway's call a goodfriend and just start bugging on four year's ago when we went to a certian party, or discuss all the newmusic comingout in spring, dothat till your giggly, then i go write rhyme's.
As sharky stated life is ****, unless you have a silverspoon, then if you can't feel it you is ****...all pompous

I find talking s-hit is the best medicine-Draw a picture?

[dezhen2001]

I've been away for a weekend visiting my Sifu and so much has happened on these boards :eek:

Jon: I too have had many occasions when everything just seems to get me worked up and makes me feel down... Already so much great advice has been given and i wish i could have got it when my life took a turn for the worse.

I had to spend a long time basically 'soul searching' myself, before i spoke to my friends and eventually my Sifu. I foiund that it wasn't the best thing i could have done, all the problems and my situation going over and over and over in my head - it's not good. There wa sno way i could let out what i was feeling. Eventually i did 4 different things: 1) i spoke to my closest friends who have known me for so long 2) i spoke to my family about my current situation 3) i ended up filling pages with writing, just expressing myself and my feelings 4) i spoke to my Sifu.
BUT, i really think that if i'd spoken to my Sifu first, he could have helped me understand and work my way through the problem.

I would say talk to your Teacher and friends... They know you, and probably even know that you are out of sorts right now. I'm sure they can support you and help you with the 'test' that you're facing right now (as my Sifu put it).

about the demo: I can tell from your posts that you really love your Bagua and Taiji as well as your Hung Gar. They always seem so full of energy :) I can tell that you train hard and want to make your Sifu's skill look good. Infact i already know that if you go out there and do the best you can you will :) Your Sifu would not have asked you to do the demo if he didn't have complete faith in you. Also maybe it's to 'test' you a little, but you have to trust him.

Let us know how everything goes, i'm sure we'd all like to know :)

david

[jon]

Hi everybody
Thanks again for everyones kind words and advice. I owe you all a lot :)

The night ended up going off without a hitch although we did end up very short of time and kung fu was one of the things we ended up cutting back on.
Still i did fine and so did everyone else who was involved, i actualy spent more time lion dancing than doing kung fu ;)

We apperently have about 12 of these nights planned over the next few months so it looks like performing is one thing im going to have to get used to.

I proberly shouldnt say this as its kinda silly but still...
Sifu gave me this REALLY nice silk Tai Chi outfit to wear for the night. There was me sifu and one other student dressed like this.
I have to say nothing feels cooler than standing next to your sifu dressed in traditional clothing and brushing shoulders with important people. Specialy when most of your class mates are still wearing plain school tshirts (evil snicker).
Ill tell you all about the night seeing as everyone has put in so much effort for me.

My sifu has an organisation called the "Australian Chinese cultral and trade (wushu) association. As such he is incontact with most of the local chinese run buisness and also the Chinese political movements in Sydney.
The night was to drumb up support for the association and also becouse he is trying to get San Shao introdused over here. He is basicaly interested in it simply to bring ma to the public and as a way to raise more money for what he really loves - internals.
As some of you may know Wushu is likely to be in the Beijing Olympics and its also possible that San Shao may be a demonstration sport. If this happens and if we can drumb up interest before hand we could see a boom in Chinese martial arts over the comming years. Plus a return to the more combat orientated side of them.

My sifu is also a master Chinese painter who learnt from a very respected master whilst he was still in China.
He sold a few paintings and raised 13,000 dollers!(about a doller US :p )
One of the wierdest things ive ever witnessed was the auction of him selling his stuff.
One bid went EXACTLY like this...
400 i hear 400, do i hear 500?
800 to the man up the back, 800 do i hear 900?
5000 from the man on the mobile phone...
I kid you not 400 - 800 - 5000! Either they REALLY dont understand the process of an Auction or someone just HAD to have his stuff.
His paintings are also absolutely amazing and some of the stuff he had i sooooooooooo wanted.
He had a gold leaf picture mural thingy of Wudang Mountain. That sold for 1500 and was worth FAR more in my opinion.

Sifu seemed pleased with the way everything went and we certainly packed the place out.
As well as a tiny amount of kung fu and tai chi there was also...
Spanish Dancing (darn those girls were HOT!)
Chinese Dancing
Peking Opera.
Qigung.
Lion Dance.

Plus i met a whole host of polition and buisness people which is always errr interesting :/

Thanks a lot everyone who has posted :)

One other quick thing...
You know you are in a good school when...
Chinese martial artists and even political people give you respect based purely on who your teacher is :)

[red_fists]

Hi Jon.

Congrats!!

Glad everything went smooth.

Now the final thing to do is:
Raise hand palm upwards, Position hand over shoulder and give yourself a well
deserved pat on the back.

:D :D

[jon]

As a side note to that...
Im voting for Sydneys Chinese party in the next election.
I dont think ive ever met a more intelligent and interesting bunch of people. They are also very down to earth and friendly.
There local representive is a young guy who always has a smile on his face and one of the best manners of anyone ive yet met.
I was standing aside watching the Chinese dancing and he just came up to me and struck up a converstation about nothing in particular.
Then someone asked for the local member to come up on stage and he politily excused himself and went up on stage.
He didnt have a hint of ego and was genuinly a really nice guy as were nearly all the members of his party.
There politics basicaly revolve around better intergrating themselfs with the greater community and i couldnt wish them better luck in there cause.

[HuangKaiVun]

Ah, the kung fu emphasis has just gone from helping oneself to helping OTHERS. . . hence the internal struggle (GROWTH).

This goes deeper than mere emotional kinship with the Chinese association.

[Brian_CA]

JON

How is your stress and anger no that the preformance is over? Is it gone? If not start stretching on a regular basis. Go take a couple of Yoga classes it will help a great deal.

Brian
San Francisco, CA

[Serpent]

Just testing something! ;)

[BSH]

Your energy is screwed up and needs to be rebalanced. Proper Ch'i Kung can fix this. Do you know anyone with a meditation speciically for balancing your energy. Feng Shui meditations can truly help in this case.

[popsider]

I think Sharky gave some good advice - try and get things in perspective - what would really happen if you had messed up in the demo - the same goes for an exam or anything - you can always move on - what seems important now you'll look back on and think what was the big deal - even the worst things in life time is a great healer.

I do think that meditation etc are probably good for calming people down so they can think clearly - it's not something I do much of - I tend to go running - it helps but it's playing havoc with my knees :D

When things really get on top of you the first thing is to shake off the stress and anxiety, when it all gets too much it does not help you think or act. But when you've done that you need to think why is it you aren't happy - what is causing the stress. Don't let things bother you, but don't take the attitude that you don't care about anything, work out what you really want to do with your life and work towards that. If you get into a hole it might take some hard work to get out of it - but I find as long as you can see a way out things aren't so bad - (although I could do without the hard work).

If you do all that and you still have rage and aggression maybe you are just a bad motherf***er ;)

Anyway what do I know my life is f uck ed. Respect to everyone.

[diego]

this is archived now we get to lol @ ow much of a ***** you are;) .
Cheers