Former castleva
03-23-2002, 11:15 AM
1.You work hard to condition your eyes,throat and groin.
2.You thought pretty acrobatics,high flashy kicks and cool flips are good for self-defense.
3.You practise real knife defenses during your first class at kwoon.
4.You thought watching martial art flicks would prepare you for a real street attack.
5.You try to strike your friend with your elbow while shaking hands.
6.You use palm strikes to open doors.
7.Whenever someone (a friend,relative..) hugs you,you try to protect yourself from knee strikes or a bear hug from front.
8.You try to wrestle your way out of chest,sleeve or wrist grabs.
9.You use headbutts with your forehead or face.
10.You form a plain/usual fist by tucking your thumb in on centre of palm with your fingers covering.
11.You test flesh tearing,vein sealing&joint breaking techniques on yourself.
12.You check out/test how long you can hold your breath while doing chi-kung.
13.You cut your hair to avoid hair grabs.
14.You condition you wrists and fingertips by violently striking hard areas with them.
15.You immediately form a fighting stance while/if someone walks towards you on streets.
16.You say something like "sorry,I gotta go feed my hamster" if someone asks something like "whatīs time?" or "why do you have a dislocated elbow?" on streets.
17.You see red crosshairs/spots on your eyes,nose,ears and solar plexus while looking to mirror.
18.You punch yourself with phoenix-eye to find new pressure points/meridians.
19.You use pepper spray as a deodorant body spray.
20.You try to misplace/dislocate your martial art pracitioner friends bone/joint(s) while helping him/her with stretching.
21.You try to strike attackerīs solar plexus,lower dantian/hara/tanden,chest,kidneys,lower ribs but heīs wearing a heavy leather jacket/coat.
22.You try to apply a (clothing/gi based) choke hold on attacker,-/your friend who is not even wearing a shirt.
23.You think about different ways of using surroundings- fruits,coffee packets,bread or candy for a possible fight while visiting a shop.
24.You try to force your training partner to chin-na without "softening" him up.(As) He happens to be a lot bigger and stronger than you.
25.You try to force your partner (or attacker) into a throw without proper unbalancing.
26.You try to apply a gentle fingerlock in a multiple attacker situation against an attacker who happens to have seven armed partners lusting for your blood.
27.You wear (eye)glasses to protect your eyes.
28.You donīt practise kung-fu.
29.You crosstrain in such arts as bowling to boost your kung-fu.
30.You use to boast at bad neighbourhood.
31.You use martial art quotes like Bruce Leeīs "Empty heads do often have long tongues" while getting verbally attacked by a gang of angry,drunken teens.
32.You think Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris have great kung-fu.
33.You use common thug techniques like bear hug,"cop grip",straight fist to face,front kick to stomach or chest grab in a fight.
34.You preach "kung-fu is the best martial art.It can easily beat bjj and karate,those arts are nothing but cr*p,kung-fu is superior"-.
35.You start singing "kung-fu fighting" in a bar full of drunken bums or in your local kwoon during a test.
2.You thought pretty acrobatics,high flashy kicks and cool flips are good for self-defense.
3.You practise real knife defenses during your first class at kwoon.
4.You thought watching martial art flicks would prepare you for a real street attack.
5.You try to strike your friend with your elbow while shaking hands.
6.You use palm strikes to open doors.
7.Whenever someone (a friend,relative..) hugs you,you try to protect yourself from knee strikes or a bear hug from front.
8.You try to wrestle your way out of chest,sleeve or wrist grabs.
9.You use headbutts with your forehead or face.
10.You form a plain/usual fist by tucking your thumb in on centre of palm with your fingers covering.
11.You test flesh tearing,vein sealing&joint breaking techniques on yourself.
12.You check out/test how long you can hold your breath while doing chi-kung.
13.You cut your hair to avoid hair grabs.
14.You condition you wrists and fingertips by violently striking hard areas with them.
15.You immediately form a fighting stance while/if someone walks towards you on streets.
16.You say something like "sorry,I gotta go feed my hamster" if someone asks something like "whatīs time?" or "why do you have a dislocated elbow?" on streets.
17.You see red crosshairs/spots on your eyes,nose,ears and solar plexus while looking to mirror.
18.You punch yourself with phoenix-eye to find new pressure points/meridians.
19.You use pepper spray as a deodorant body spray.
20.You try to misplace/dislocate your martial art pracitioner friends bone/joint(s) while helping him/her with stretching.
21.You try to strike attackerīs solar plexus,lower dantian/hara/tanden,chest,kidneys,lower ribs but heīs wearing a heavy leather jacket/coat.
22.You try to apply a (clothing/gi based) choke hold on attacker,-/your friend who is not even wearing a shirt.
23.You think about different ways of using surroundings- fruits,coffee packets,bread or candy for a possible fight while visiting a shop.
24.You try to force your training partner to chin-na without "softening" him up.(As) He happens to be a lot bigger and stronger than you.
25.You try to force your partner (or attacker) into a throw without proper unbalancing.
26.You try to apply a gentle fingerlock in a multiple attacker situation against an attacker who happens to have seven armed partners lusting for your blood.
27.You wear (eye)glasses to protect your eyes.
28.You donīt practise kung-fu.
29.You crosstrain in such arts as bowling to boost your kung-fu.
30.You use to boast at bad neighbourhood.
31.You use martial art quotes like Bruce Leeīs "Empty heads do often have long tongues" while getting verbally attacked by a gang of angry,drunken teens.
32.You think Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris have great kung-fu.
33.You use common thug techniques like bear hug,"cop grip",straight fist to face,front kick to stomach or chest grab in a fight.
34.You preach "kung-fu is the best martial art.It can easily beat bjj and karate,those arts are nothing but cr*p,kung-fu is superior"-.
35.You start singing "kung-fu fighting" in a bar full of drunken bums or in your local kwoon during a test.