OT- Funny as He!!, about USA

[Shaolindynasty]

I was watching the simpsons last night. They were in brazil and a guy calls out to homer

"hey americans"

homer says "how did you know" while he says this he turns to reveal a tshirt that has a picture of uncle sam taking a bite out of the globe with words across it that say "Try and stop us".

Man, I was laughing for the rest of that entire episode.

[Nthman]

That was pretty funny..I was dissapointed that there were no Gracies in this episode..heh

[Mutant]

Yeah that t-shirt homer had on had me laughing my a$$ off!
I liked the kids t.v. hostess chick with the n!pple tassles :eek:

[Kristoffer]

Simpsons is mad funny most of the times..

[Sharky]

Should we be laughing or crying?

[MightyB]

Don't put too much into it. You live in one of the few countries that us yanks still respect. I think that it's safe to assume that the U.S. and the U.K. are the only countries left that still know how and still have the balls to kick some ass when we need to.

[Ford Prefect]

What about France? :)

[Radhnoti]

France? :confused:
Are you talking about the currently unclaimed German province?

MightyB, what about Australia, Israel...and I don't see a lot of folks pickin' fights with Canadians, not even with Quebec and they speak French!

;)

[Merryprankster]

France!

Hee-hee!

I was watching the Dennis Miller show and he was doing a "comedy through the ages," thing.

When he got to the 1940's he starts in by saying "hey, we invaded Normandy yesterday...the French are confused because the have NO idea who to surrender to."

Floored me for five minutes! :)

[yenhoi]

No one starts fights with canada because canadians are just americans in denail and everyone knows it but them.

[Sharky]

LOL, gotta remember that.

[KungFuGuy!]

Don't bother, sharky, you can find the exact quote under the "American Ignorance" entry in the dictionary.

[Sharky]

;)

[Grappling-Insanity]

I think it obvious that Canadians and Americans are similiar. Since they both settled at generally the same time, both were british colonies, both speak english, both have a large shared border. Of course were going to be like Americans.

[fa_jing]

Actually all across central and south America everyone takes offense at the label "americans" taken to mean "of the U.S.A." but which obviously applies to them as well. So the Simpsons writer clearly was operating without this understanding.
-FJ

[Stacey]

I loved that too, and the speedo's and the childrens show. Aye yie yie.

the simpsons hold a certain genious for up to date satire on US culture and politics that doesn't get old.

BTW...Canandians are french peasants who were bossed around by the Briticsh..Canadian girls are worth 2 american girls. I guess its the French influence...Canada is a lil slice of Europe in America. You can have hooker, pot, drinking at 18....

The US was once a great country. A land of freedom of open containers in cars...then we got tight asssssssed. Our puritain beginning still keep us fused up into the 21st century.

[Budokan]

"So the Simpsons writer clearly was operating without this understanding." --Fa_Jing

Okay, well. You certainly know you're in trouble when you start trying to over analyze the Simpsons in relation to Manifest Destiny. :rolleyes:

"France: a currently unclaimed German province." Now, THAT had me rolling on the floor.:D Then again, any slam against France tickles my gizzard.

[IronFist]

That was funny, but the funniest part in last night's Simpsons was:

Bart or Lisa or someone: "Here is is, $50,000"
Brazillian 1, (opens suitcase full of money): "Look at all that pink and purple"
Brazillian 2: "Our money sure is gay!"

Hahahahahahaha, i was rolling on the floor for 10 minutes after that line.

IronFist

[Xebsball]

fa_jing

Actually we do call you americans, and id say very very very few people would find it offensive, i dont know about the rest of south america.


It doesnt matter wich shirt youre wearing, i can detect gringos easily
:D


I dont get the one about the money.
Really, i dont get whats so funny. You americans and your green money with some old dude on it.
We have animals from the brazilian fauna on our money, the colors makes easy for you to work with it and stuff.

[joedoe]

Xebby has a point. I found I have to be careful when I handle US dollars and look closely at the denomination of the note. Different coloured notes makes it a little easier to identify the denomination.

[anton]

You think Brazillian currency's weird check this out:

Aus currency has pics of weird historical Australian figures, and no-one in Australia knows who they are.
All the notes are made of PLASTIC and have clear windows in the corner.

colours:
$5 -pink
$10 -blue
$20 -red/orange
$50 -yellow
$100 -green

[joedoe]

So, not only do you have money, but a history lesson in your pocket as well! :D

[OdderMensch]

hey it wont matter much longer, once the chips are installed and we all pay of credit anyway... :eek:

but our money is boring, not that I ever have any for long.

i need some extra cash right now as a matter of fact, anyone want to buy a vintage french rifle? only droped once. ;)

boy I bet if France knew they'd get this much crap outa us they'd have never won he Revolution for us. :p

[IronFist]

Originally posted by anton
You think Brazillian currency's weird check this out:

Aus currency has pics of weird historical Australian figures, and no-one in Australia knows who they are.
All the notes are made of PLASTIC and have clear windows in the corner.

colours:
$5 -pink
$10 -blue
$20 -red/orange
$50 -yellow
$100 -green

No $1 bills? You guys have $1 coins instead? Canada has those. Looney (luney?) and tooney (tuney?), $1 and $2 coins, respectively. Man they're loud when you walk around with them in your pocket

In USA we just got a new gold $1 coin introduced like 2 or 3 years ago. People don't like it. I worked in a bank two years ago and parents would bring in big bags full of gold dollars and say "my kids got these and don't like them, can I have regular bills instead?"

Come to think of it, I haven't seen any gold dollars in circulation in like a year. Are they still around? I've never gotten one back as change, and I've never seen anyone buy anything with them. Maybe if they fit in vending machines people would like them more.

IronFist

[rubthebuddha]

the sacajawea dollar is still around, and many vending machines WILL accept it (at least in the pnw). however, it's garnered little if any interest. i have more canadian loons than i have american dollar coins.

of course, i live 25 miles from the border, but still ;)

[Budokan]

Yeah, if you buy postage stamps at the post office the vending machine will give you change in sacajawea dollars. That's about the only place that uses 'em. But, like you said, people then turn around and take 'em to the bank to get *real* dollars.

I do like the sacajawea dollar better than the aborted piece of sh*t Susan B. Anthony dollar, though, that came out in the late 70s. Talk about a waste of currency....

[Grappling-Insanity]

Canada french?? pfffftttt thats like one segrageted province. I dont even know anyone that speaks French. And I know alot of forengiers(sp?). So much for Bi-lingualism.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i think the french should be used for medical experiements and as dummies in violent movies.

[MightyB]

Canadians are OK. Heck, half the change in my pocket is Canadian. I remember how wierd it was when some places started to introduce vending machines that wouldn't accept Canadian currency. I should change my original remark to say that NATO still kicks ass, everybody else are just a bunch of wimps. That includes the big pain-in-the-ass UN. What a bunch of pu$$ies. Wish Reagan would have succeeded in getting us out of that pile-o-crap! Maybe Bush Jr. will take the helm of getting us out of the UN. Heck, us and the brits are sick of cleaning up everybody elses poop. If you don't believe that we do, look at every UN combat mission in the last 10 years and tell me who does the bulk of the work.

Enough political BS. The Simpsons is still one of the funniest shows on TV. It sucks that Fox is dropping Futurama and Family Guy. You want to see some funny stuff, check out this season's South Park.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i thought this was funny as hell. came across it on cj yesterday. just as a warning it is sexual in nature, but harmless. it's a girl trying to sex chat with some dude saying things that are intentionally lame and completely unexpected. i thought it was ****ing hillarious, but ill understand if the mods give it the ax.

Cybersex gone bad


Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36C-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 5'9" and about 140 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to make love?

Wellhung: OK.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a soggy plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.<>

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-- our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner's all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: logged off

[KC Elbows]

ROTFLMAO!!!:D

Good find, GDA.

[chingei]

lol!

[Xebsball]

:D

LOL @ cybersex