Are Southern Styles Complete? [Archive]

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-06-2001, 07:58 PM

I've heard that each Southern Style fous on some concepts and not others. Why is it the case?

For example Hop Gar, CLF focus on large sweeping moves. In their application, they are used for long range strikes. However, In my experience large moves are more useful in close to "dump" an opponent?

The same moves are not found in Wing Chun or Pak Mei which emphasis on short range strikes.

However, both aspects are jsut as important to the overall fighting ability as it covers different rangers and deals with different scenarios. Why is it that they train in one but not the other? Must we learn different styles to become a complete fighter?

Maximus Materialize!

denali

04-06-2001, 11:07 PM

Two words: Wrong.

oops. just one.

nickle

04-07-2001, 02:22 AM

i agree, maximus, you seem to have missed something...

anyway i think i can put in a bit more input in here...

i thought about this a while ago when sparring with a friend of mine who does longfist. we went on holiday together and spent and hour or two sparring on the beach everyday for about 2 weeks. which is a northern style, and consists of large movements and longrange attacks.we went on holiday together and spent and hour or two sparring on the beach everyday for about 2 weeks, so i had ample time to think about it and develop my technique to suite his style, as he did to mine.

i thought i (doing wing chun) would kick his ass completely, as long as i could get in close. this however wasnt the case. the reason being if i ever managed to get in close (he has been training quite a bit longer than me and is pretty much better than i am) he would either:
-push me backwards, way out of range.
-use infighting like elbows, uppercuts throws or takedowns
-step back.

so it ended up that it wasnt that simple. anyways my point is that in the case of long range fighting...which is his preffered range, he would completely destroy me. if i did manage to get in close, i would do much better at MY range, and actually land a good couple of centerline strikes.
usually however he would be able to cope more or less pretty well at close range though.

the point is this (sorry about the rambling) is that in wing chun, the best distance for a practitioner to be in is close range, (ie trapping punching elbows throws takedowns knees and very low kicks) in longfist, the prefferd range is long, (high or low kicks and punching using low forwards leaning stances eg bow and arrow stance.)
BUT... this is not to say that wing chun cannot fight at long range. i definately can, using kicks. i have less techniques at long range, but i do have some,the key to wing chun long range fighting is to bridge the gap, as in chum kui. there are many techniques to bridge the gap in wing chun and thus close in on the opponent and get into the best range for oneself. Long fist has the opposite, a large amount of long range techniques, with the emphasis on keeping that range, if the opponent closes the gap, the longfist fighter will have a couple of techniques to fight in close range, but the majority of them will be aimed at pushing or throwing or somethinging the opponent back to long range...

see what i mean i hope.... btw this is all mho :D

-specialization is for ants-

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-07-2001, 08:25 AM

Hi Nickle!

Must have been very interesting for you and your friend. Did you get time to swim :)

Actually, long first refers to large movements not long range. Ok it would work medium range if you say do a bow stance and throw a punch.

However, these and many other large stances are used at close range - toe to toe, body to body for the purpose of leg trapping and toppling.

In the first line of long fist, you notice the large swinging arm movements. In Hop Gar theory, this would be to reach for an opponent some distance away. In long fist it is used to dump an opponent with the added leg traps used with the bow stance.

I guess the difference is that Wing Chun uses successive arm movements to deliver the shots like a "machine gun". Long Fist is more like a "nuke" which takes out the opponent's balance, attacking and defensive capabilities at the same time.

Of course the effecivness will depend on many things one of which you correctly mentioned is the difference in skill level. Timing, strength, reach etc all play a part.

Maximus Materialize!

BIU JI

04-07-2001, 11:22 AM

From your experience long range systems work well in close to 'dump". Does this me you always get dumped, I think your mother "dumped " you on your head 1 too many times.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-08-2001, 01:43 PM

Bui ji

Like I said before, Northern systems are used between medium to short range. When I say short, I mean body to body. The shorter the distance, the larger the movements and wider the stance. You literally engulf the opponet and metaphorically consume your enemy. Think about the logic and forget the lies your southern bratherns have been feeding you!

I've never said theat these are long range systems - quite the opposite! They range is much shorter than things like Wing Chun thast throw little rabbit punches.

Maximus Materialize!

BIU JI

04-08-2001, 04:03 PM

SHUT UP IDIOT!

tnwingtsun

04-08-2001, 09:00 PM

I know a certain Turkish WT guy that would
hit you with one of his little Rabbit punches
and you would wake up with little easter bunnys flying around your head.
That is IF you'de wake up.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-09-2001, 05:24 PM

Tnwingchun

I'm quite a light sleeper and your right. Little rabbit ounches may not even wake me. Oh it's easter bunny season!

BiuJi (what type of name is this - must be chinese LOL)

Yeah I know of a student who said the same thing to his master and was told to shut up. He later became an instructor and told his students tro shut up. It always has been, it is today and alway will be. Such is the nature of Southern Kung Fu that the sacred art is preserved for all time. Isn't that right? tell me? go on tell me funny man? LOL

Maximus Materialize!

GreyMystik

04-09-2001, 05:42 PM

of course different systems emphasize different techniques to deal with situations, otherwise we'd all practice the same system. different styles have different philosophies for dealing with a given situation, therefore different emphasis on technique and/or principle. just because one system focuses on an area to excel in does not mean it is incomplete... it just means it has a specialty. if you look around, pretty much all styles do this- there isn't enough time to completely master all ranges of combat, and you really don't need to! look at it this way.. if you excel in, let's say, a few ranges... then your objective can be said to maneuver the opponent in this range so you will have the advantage. even Sun Tzu (Art of War) knew this, he stated something to similar effect. Know your advantages and use them. this is not to say 'completely neglect all the other areas', and a good gungfu style (southern, northern, i don't care if it's friggin irish style) will have elements of all included.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-09-2001, 05:49 PM

GreyMystik

You're a smart person right?

It's totally unfair to apply Tsun Tzung (Art of war) to southern systems because you know they'll just ..... die.

They'll be out manuvered, out hit out everything because teh throries themselves are shoddy.

Maximus Materialize!

GreyMystik

04-09-2001, 06:23 PM

of course they won't die, all the proof i need is right here. you're keeping them alive as well as i am by giving them attention. if 'southern gung fu' was defective by definition, it would not have survived THIS long. your arguments are unsupported... in fact, i could pretty much take any gungfu style and swap words with you, change 'southern kungfu' with 'northern praying mantis' or 'philipino martial arts' and make the same arguments you are. think about it.

Ben Gash

04-09-2001, 11:15 PM

Ego, while you are right about longfist, you are guilty of the blinkered vision that you claim to deride. The long arm techniques in CLF and Hop Gar all have extnsive Suai Jiao applications. CLF (I can't speak for Hop Gar) also has numerous infighting moves. It is a comprehensive system, just like all other traditional chinese martial arts.
I was knocked out by a Fukien crane fighter on Sunday, so trust me when I say that shorthand stylists have punching power.

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

joedoe

04-10-2001, 02:15 AM

Don't bother guys, Ego is a troll. I don't bother trying to have a serious discussion with him because he doesn't have serious discussions either. You don't seriously believe he is a wheelchair-bound Southern Mantis instructor do you? If he was would he be questioning the effectiveness of southern kung fu?

Actually, I think Ego is Goktimus Prime or one of his friends. How correct am I Ego? Or are you like mercilessfighter or 5*? Or maybe calmguru?

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

tanglangman

04-10-2001, 01:09 PM

I thought that the term long fist alluded to the flowing nature of the river long (yangtzee river) and this is howo the forms are performed ie. in aflowing like motion? have I been mis-informed?

lungyuil

04-10-2001, 01:50 PM

Ego,
If you understand your northern styles as you say you do, then you would understand that large movements can also mean short and short can mean large. Having practised Jow Gar, it only means that i reduce the large movement to a short one and i can they fight close range.

Wake up you moron!!
You understand nothing about southern systems. The practitioner,if he knows the system, will modify it to suit and use what he has. :)

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-10-2001, 04:55 PM

Ben Gash
You're probably a newbie in Northern kung fu to be knocked out by a white crane. Didn't your instructor tell you that sunday is a day of rest and not to fight. The gods were against you that's all. Don't fret about it. It's only spastics like me who learn Southern mantis Kung Fu. I'm sure you can beat a spastic on the other days of the week.

Abandit
No I'm not associated in any way to those losers you have mentioned. I've read a couple of post by Merciless fighter etc and they are all so boring. Put it another way, some people may call the Ego a troll but it is only because they can't handle my sharp wit and logic. But I know you're smarter than the regular net freak you should have realised that I don't resort talking people's bodily functions.

GreyMystic
One thing missing. Southern Kung Fu has never seen real combat. It was practiced and used by starving peasents to sort out their neighbourly disputes. For example it could have gone something like this. Farmer A accuses Farmer B of molesting Farmer C's goat. So Farmer D agrees to allow Farmer A and C to duke it out on Farmer D's rice padi. Meanwhile all the other Farmers in that pathetic little village namely Famers other than A & C watch the fight. Then rode into town was Warrior A - a northern Kung fu master who kills them all just for kicks.

Lungyuil
I think your getting all worked up and confused about short and long. I know of a Southern Kung Fu mater who did just that and his underpants had longer leggings than the shorts he wore. No need to ridicule - that person is me! the spastic master of Southern Mantis!

Maximus Materialize!

GreyMystik

04-10-2001, 05:08 PM

i'm thinking abandit is right about you EGO... you don't have 'wit and logic', you're just trolling and flaming.

Ben Gash

04-10-2001, 10:34 PM

I've been doing Northern styles a lot longer than you have. I mean let's face it, we all know you're Kelvin Chan, and we've all seen photos of you doing kung fu. If the rest of your Changquan sucks as badly as your Tan Tui you aren't going to beat my grandma!
A more accurate translation of Changquan is extended arm boxing, although I quite like the river bit.

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

lungyuil

04-10-2001, 10:59 PM

See Ego,
i tell everyone your not a waste of breath, you make it worthwhile to be on here just for a laugh. You oversized man you.
Tell me, how do you get out of bed in the morning. Do you have a crane to lift you up or does your bed tilt up???

BIU JI

04-11-2001, 12:46 AM

Ego may very well be in a wheel chair , I think some southern martial artist put him there. Thats why he has it in for southern systems, he's in denial about this tragic event.

Turned him from a fat bubbling worthog into a wheel chair bound fat bubbling worthog lol. Be careful about those cookie crumbs on your keyboard bubble butt could be a problem.

And BIU JI does sound chinese doesn't it d**k head!

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-11-2001, 05:31 PM

To put it rather bluntly, southern styles are hopelessly ineffective. Northern stylist refer to them a "Bui Ji" whish translated to english means a snack or piece of cake.

A famous northern system is Mizong ( which is a combination of lots of gooood northern styles)- it means Lost Track Kung Fu If one were to combine southern styles to form a system - it would be called Ong Gui (literal translation means Clueless Street) ie. just plain clueless.

what do you guys think?

Maximus Materialize!

GreyMystik

04-11-2001, 10:59 PM

ego you already know what we think, either put up or shut up. you're nothing but a troll-give some arguments to support your view
-or-
'if you ain't makin noise time to kill the fu(kin yellin' -busta rhymes

how ya like that one buby? hehe

hello all my ykm bros, gotta love the stuff... takin it a little bit at a time!

Ben Gash

04-12-2001, 12:18 AM

OK Kelvin, we all know you've never fought a southern stylist. Indeed you've probably never fought anyone (and when the bigger kids beat you up doesn't count).
So why don't you go and find some other activity to go and jerk off over?

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-12-2001, 08:58 AM

GreyMystik

I've got more to say. You're right, my back ground is in CLF before moving on to northern Kung fu so I can say from my experience that southern kung fu is defficient.

However, i have little choice but to learn Southern Mantis as it requires very little mobility in the legs - which I have none. I have done an analysis of many styles / systems and Southern Mantis is the optimal solution for ME - a spastic. I may be a spastic but I'm not stupid and certainly not a troll.

I haope this clears up any misconceptions you may have had about me. Once you get to know me you'll find that I'm a rather charming person.

Ben Gash

You've probably missed a couple of my posts where I have explained that I'm not associated with Kelvin. I have however left hints as to 2 other characters I'm affiliated with ( excluding Ego Maximus - who is my predecessor). But like I said before - I have a doctorate in Robotics from MIT which means that I'm not stupid (or a genius to you). I certainly wouldn't make any references to the Author because of all these f@cked up weirdos like you on the net.

Think of this as a humbling revalation (for you) which could lead on to an interesting treasure hunt! Good luck Ben and have a safe and happy easter!

Maximus Materialize!

joedoe

04-12-2001, 10:08 AM

So Ego you are associated with one Katrina Stearns I take it. Let me just ruminate on who the other is :)

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Internal Boxer

04-13-2001, 12:43 PM

Listen Guys, lets all just calm down for a minute here. I know when people slag off your art it is annoying to say the least. But I wish people like Ego would not be hung up on which style can beat another style, ultimately it is down to the individual practicing that style (ie. his Gung Fu). I have a preference for the internal martial arts, and I know that 95% of taiji that is taught is just New Age arm waving with no martial aspect. And I can understand other martial artists not taking Taiji seriously. The ones that claim to be martial have an attitude like you must yield to attack. sorry dont think so, my attitude is to kick the ****e out of him with minimum damage to myself. But is it beyond the realms of possiblity that Ego has not learned the complete southern style, or missed something vital, without realising. And if the gentleman is wheel chair bound it cannot be denied this will limit his ability. Therefore how can he make comment on any practicality of a martial art when he is pyhsically limited. Is he so self assured that he knows everything there is to know about it. It is this arogant attitude that leads to not seeing the wood for the trees.If some misguided person derides your art just ignore them. I do not care what people think about Taiji cause I know the stuff I have learnt works. cause I have used it when arseholes have tried to fu.ck me up. Not dicking around with "yeiding" but fu.ck them up big time.

joedoe

04-14-2001, 10:08 AM

Hmmmm. I wonder if Ego is also Fu Manchu?

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-14-2001, 11:31 AM

Internal Boxer

You have developed an attitude that is worthy of a Tai Chi practitioner. The greatest asset in Tai Chi is to yield to one's opponent. If they ridicule your art, you ignore them and if they give you crap you run away.

That is something Southern Kung Fu masters have yet to realise and they get all agro and worked up because they can't handle the truth.

My back ground has been in CLF finally moving on to Southern Mantis when I lost the use of my legs. My extensive research into Kung Fu has dicovered that Southern Mantis requires the least mobility, least corodination and easiest to learn.

Is there anything I missed?

Maximus Materialize!

joedoe

04-14-2001, 12:00 PM

Yes, you didn't answer me. Katrina Stearns and Fu Manchu are 'friends' of yours?

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Internal Boxer

04-14-2001, 01:45 PM

Yes Ego Master,
I bow to your superior knowledge, You are no doubt immortal, and because you haved lived for over 1,000 years you have met all the original masters in southern styles, and defeated them all. No doubt you have monitored this style over the last thousand years to see if any of the orignal knowledge has been someway hidden in forms or cryptic/abstract excersises, accessable only to the most dedicated and talented students. I must admit I do feel quite sorry for you mate.

shouting and screaming they were dragged out of the cave of darkness and into the light of understanding.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-15-2001, 02:18 AM

Abandit
How could you associate Ego Extrodinaire with one so sleazy as Katrina Stearns or the do-gooder like Dr. Fu. ?

InternalBoxer
Yes you should train Southern Kung Fu for external and Northern Kung Fu for internal qualities and their high kicks.

Maximus Materialize!

joedoe

04-15-2001, 03:38 AM

Who knows what split personality disorder can do to someone? :D

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-15-2001, 03:01 PM

ABandit,

Why jump to conclusions when you can put it to a vote and see what other net freaks think.

Maximus Materialize!

nickle

04-16-2001, 09:16 PM

this is pathetic.
i dont know why i even bother replying on these forums, since they are so full of people who want to cause trouble, whats next, a challenge to fight?
lol

screw this.

-specialization is for ants-

Ben Gash

04-16-2001, 11:01 PM

Sorry, no, still think you're Kelvin. At any rate, you're certainly not in a wheelchair. I mean, if you're able to do kung fu, why do you need a nurse at home? No one who was parapleagic would ever refer to themselves as a spastic (because it refers to people with cerebral palsy you moron!).
Also, you have adopted that time honoured troll trait of inconsistency. You have previously stated that you did CLF, changed to Changquan, and THEN switched to SPM. You have also completely changed your standpoint at least twice THIS THREAD! The more you do it, the more you betray your ignorance. Train southern for the external and Northern for the internal and high kicks? You honestly have no idea what you're talking about, do you?

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

UnknownAgent

04-17-2001, 01:06 PM

I wonder what is dumber,

Ego's insults about southern kung fu or the fact that everyone is fanning the flame talking to him. Dont you guy's see he's getting his kicks messing with you.

Hell it's still fun to read.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-17-2001, 04:59 PM

Ben Gash You ignorant fool. Please read my earier post where I explained the circumstances of my paralysis as well as my martial back ground.

Then craw back to me and appologies for ever saying that I'm inconsistent.

What you have exposed is your shoddy research skills and you can learn much from a Doctorate like me.

Oh yes, if I'm Kelvin, then you must be Sven the Swedish. if not then Sven MUST be your middle name. (That's if I apply Ben Gash logic - which makes as much sense as flushing one's own head in a toilet).

Maximus Materialize!

Ben Gash

04-17-2001, 10:19 PM

I have read your posts, and they are INCONSISTENT! You have not lost the ability to walk, it is just a cheap and sick turn on for you to pretend so. Again, you haven't answered direct questions (good, solid troll trait).
Anyway, they were a lot hotter on spelling and grammar at the university I went to. Phd? you can barely string two sentences together. Oh, I'm sorry, don't tell me, dyslexic as well as parapleagic. Man you've had some bad luck.

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

Fish of Fury

04-18-2001, 06:01 AM

Ego is the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog

_________________________"I never drive faster than i can see...other than that...it's all in the reflexes" Jack Burton

joedoe

04-18-2001, 06:08 AM

I seem to remember someone like 5starprayingmantis or mercilessfighter or someone like that mentioning that Ego was his sihing and that he was a fully functioning practitioner of northern praying mantis at the same school as Goktimus.

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-18-2001, 03:26 PM

Ben Gash

In your next response please point out the issues which you think are inconsistant. To the best of my knowledge my posts are consistant.

You're right about the spelling, I'm been a bit shoddy in this department. My hands have been damaged from Bork Choy training but I'll be wasted away in years to come due to a spinal degenerative disorder.

Just to give you my background (in brief). I trained in CLF before discovering that northern kung fu was superior. However, my training was brutally cut short by a car accident that took away the use of my legs.

It took much time to get over my self pity and find purpose in living again. My nurse Katrina was with me for much of the time and helped me overcome many difficult moments.

I began to focus on researching the rich history of kung fu and discovered that Southern Mantis is something I can easily master for a spastic like me. My reasearh shows that northern systems is superior of the two unless you're physically challenged like me.

Nevertheless, from a lean athelethic person, I've grown into a overweight fat slob who gorges on ice cream all day. But i hope that my wealth of knowledge of Kung Fu would benefit others on the net who obviously have less knowledge than me.

Finally, I do have a Doctorate in Robotics from MIT and I've customed designed my motorized wheel chair that runs on a small electric engin that is very environmentally friendly.

Maximus Materialize!

bryandavis

04-19-2001, 12:05 AM

I can only speak for the style I am studying, Choy Lee Fut.

It is a very complete system, allthough it may be known for its circular sweeping motions.

There are long range techniques which vary from palm thrust (teut jeung) to pather fist used in a long stretching wedge stance (ding ji ma) various animal forms, like (chin ji chui extended snake fingers, basicly you could go on for a while.

Almost all of the "pow" "wong" "sow" "kwa"
most of these fist are close range,being delivered at a close distance.

Much infighting with elbows, upper palm thurst etc...

A large aray of kicks..high and low.

Jamming techniques such as (cheung naoung chui)

chin na in every form, locking, pulling, pushing.

low and high stances, bat gwa steping.

ground fighting at higher levels.

Internal and exernal forms. chi gung.

Basicly it is very complete.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-19-2001, 02:30 PM

Byran

Exactly! That's my whole point. Choy Lay Fut appears to be complete. At least that's what the training ciriculum would suggest.

But if you look at the usage of Choy Lay Fut or say Hop Ga, you'll discover the overwhelming emphasis of long range sweeping action. What I'm saying is the usage is not complete which reflects the effectiveness (or ineffectiveness ) of the training methods and the understanding of concepts.

Maximus Materialize!

bryandavis

04-19-2001, 08:04 PM

There are so many factors to judge which techniques are employed the most.

I belive the person who your being taught under is the one who will determine what is emphasized.

Most teachers just teach the forms they know, and pass them to there students with out any concern that the student might not be in the best position to apply those moves. If your 5'8 muscular and weigh 185lbs you are going to have different body mechanics than me 5'11 150lbs not to muscular.

I dont see instructors personalizing techniques to students.

Unfortunately most instructors are not very qualified to be fully responsable for running a school. If they were in a traditional cma school or camp in China, they would be advanced students if that.

My point being, my Sifu stresses aplication for the situation, so we stress infigthing in that range, long fist in that range, and so on.

I can understand how styles seem uncomplete when the person performing or demonstrating or even fighting with that style is not really fully aware of the complete arsenal allowed by his/her system.

And some people are just not martial artist.

Speaking on choy lee fut, 98% of the clf being taught is not the original family style that Chan Heung founded, and in turn has been filtered and adjusted to meet the new teachers own personal likings.

Talk to you later,

Bryan.

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-20-2001, 03:57 AM

Byran,

Another brillient observation! It is true in many other styles that a lot of schools are not teaching the real deal. For example say in Tai Chi people teach that art for many other objectives other than for combat ( which was it's original purpose). Even the so called combat Tai Chi, there are those which borders on performance Wu Shu.

I can understand and relate to you comments regarding CLF. For combat application, it is not the number of forms, number of drills or albeit how many traditions one follows. It comes down to understanding the material and being in a training environment that fosters the development of your understanding - for your particular body type.

It is as much the skill of the instructor as it is the completeness of the style (for a given student).

And being an instructor, not only must you be able to apply the system (for yourself) with competence, it is also necessary to have a good understanding of components which you are less inclined to use. There are many schools where the insdtructor teaches "their favourite moves" which may not be the optimal solution for any given student. I think you also were making that point.

From your post you sound like you have a good understanding of the CLF system. This is more that what I can say for sooooo many people on this forum.

Maximus Materialize!

Ben Gash

04-20-2001, 06:52 PM

OK, this is getting old! How are you inconsistent? Sometimes you say you trained in northern styles and sometimes you don't. You say you train in southern mantis, yet you say you are a fat slob and require a nurse. You say your hands are disfigured, affecting your typing, yet claim to be able to do complex mechanics and electronics on your wheelchair!
You honestly have no clue about people with disabilities. Think about it. SPM is a strenuous system which would cause you not to have a serious weight problem (I know there are overweight kung fu guys, but no obese ones, and if you were skinny before, then you'd still be skinny.
If you have enough strength and movement in your arms to do kung fu, then you do not need a nurse. You would be able to perform all of your personal tasks independantly. Katrina is just a product of your sexually starved imagination, allowing you to jerk off over the thought of bed baths.
You are a seriously sick individual Kelvin, and frankly know F*** all about southern martial arts. Throwing, joint manipulation and short striking are all key fighting methods in Choy Li Fut.

"Weapons are the embodiments of fear,
the wise use them only when they have no choice"
Lao Tzu

Ego_Extrodinaire

04-21-2001, 01:56 AM

Ben Gash - you're a genius! With the little information about myself that I put out on the net, you can tell me exactly what i can and cannot do. Maybe I should sack the team of physicans that have helping me though these number of years and hired you instead.

Hey you've even helped me change my name from Ego Extrodinaire to Kelvin. You're a guy right (Ben), does Kelivn turn you on or do you prefer Katrina?

In any case, you'll probably make a great drill sergeant barking out silly orders until your own troops put you down as an act of mercy.

Oh there is a difference between being a mechanic and engineer - please look it up. As a hint, having damaged hands does not preclude me from using CAD (Computer Aided Design).

And lastly to amend my earlier inconsistancy - Ben Gash, you are not a genius but a fool. Yes you'll come first in the international duns award. A fool fool fool! (oh just a few more times for the dummy for the message to sink in)

Look forward to your response!

Maximus Materialize!