Complaint Letters Per Second

[Alpha Dog]

I've been practicing for several weeks now and the most complaint letters I can write per second is 4 -- is it because I am too tense? Should my wrists be looser as I type? Could chi be leaking from my sphincter?

Any insights from more experienced complaint-letter-writers would be appreciated.

[Mr Punch]

I find that if you really relax you shoulders and breathe naturally, you can get a lot of forward power in your fingers. This can increase the speed of your writing considerably. As for the power of your complaint, that depends on whether you have adopted a morally nutritious stance, or if your mo duk is coming out all over your pocket.

Of course, if you are using a pen, without wishing to degenerate this into technical what-ifs, you should probably kick the object of the complaint in the squarely in the nuts, for that head-to-head personal customer touch.

Or, step off line and punch him in the face!

Good luck!

[anerlich]

I have no experience with complaint letters on this forum. More satisfying to slip a banana skin under the stance of the person that's annoying you.

OTOH, perhaps a suitiable HTML form with radio buttons and combo boxes could allow the complainant of average ability to achieve more CLPS.