Friend of mine went through a scary situation

[Ryu]

A friend of mine was walking at night to a workout room in her apartment complex. It was very dark and behind her was a black woman who was sort of following close behind. My friend said she felt something was wrong, but she dismissed it because she thought she was being paranoid. (:mad: Ladies, do NOT doubt your feelings about those things)
The woman approached her closer, and my friend really didn't turn around at all. Then suddenly the woman let out this bloodcurdling scream close to her ear. She then started laughing maniacly. My friend went into shock and asked why the woman had done that, and the woman simply shrugged and said she "didn't know."then laughed and moved into her apartment. They did not know each other, and my friend has never seen the woman before in her life.
Even though she was not physically harmed in any way, she called me and was more of less in a truamatic state at the eeriness of what happened. I got a description of the woman, etc. and talked to her on her cell phone as she walked through the parking lot making sure she was aware of everything around her. She may or may not want to learn some self-defense from me. I have recently instructed a friend of mine too who was fearful of a fight that might be coming his way. :mad: I guess my point is that I really don't like seeing innocent people afraid like that. And all the talk about sport vs. self-defense is somewhat dumb. You need to be athletic to defend yourself. Period. If you want to be able to defend yourself against a "arrogant NHB" wannabee you better train like they do. It's only obvious. Now that that's out of the way, real self-defense also has a lot to do with mindset, situational awareness, de-escalation, surprise attacks, first strike principles, and weapons. You better train those too, AND you better train em with contact and in an "alive" manner. It's weird that after my accident and after my realization of some of the things I want to do, these opportunities are presenting themselves to me. When I did instruct (coach) my friend who had never been in a fight before, I took him through full contact sucker punch scenario drills, hidden knife awareness drills, adrenaline dump response and management, contact sparring and boxing and contact grappling. Obviously nothing to hurt him, but definitely something to let him get over the fear of getting hit, and to work through his tendency to "freeze" when his adrenaline hit. I think this is realistic. I would teach similar things to a woman, but alter it a bit more to awareness training, eye jabs, etc. But I'd still have her grapple, box, and go through scenario drills. All "alive".
I think this is how to train realistically for real self-defense. It has to be at least similar to "sport"too. You have to make your training a little bit like NHB or you are not doing it right.
That's just my opinion. At least the contact has to be real.
Just thoughts.

Ryu

[diego]

obviously one trains to beat someone better, but realistically all you can bet on is to go out with a fight, so if a womans bieng attacked, and she goes to a gaurdian angel self defense class, realistically, besides technical knowledge, the real thing they should pull from sparring etc, is confidence, i may get my asskicked by a martial champ, but i tried, and was mauled/assaulted and killed, but i fought so i mentally didnt get raped!.
Yah that sums it up:)

[Godzilla]

My first TKD Master (he was not a McDojo type – and of course went out of business after a few years because he did not charge enough) used to tell us “All you may have left when you’re backed into a corner is your YELL and your PUNCH.”

The YELL of course is to disorient your enemy.

You’re a good friend Ryu.

Peace,
Godzilla

[Ray Pina]

When the teacher's ready, the students will present themselves.;)

[Badger]

Might I suggest training along these lines RMCAT (http://www.rmcat.com/)







Badger

[Abstract]

Ryu i take it your friend ISN'T black or latino? cause yo man if that lady DIDN'T rob or assault her, then she probably did that on purpose just to scare her. I can't tell you how many times i've done that or one of my friends has done something similar to non-african americans. People (anglos, europeans, some asains, etc,-depending on where u grow up really) etc. are for the most part ignorant of the culture and only believe what they're told by racist a s s h o l e s, and automatically assume that black ppl are 'bad' and want to rob everyone. do you know how many times me & ONE friend have been walking down the street at night only to have a GROUP of 5-10 MEN cross deliberately to the other side of the street so they don't have to walk past us? You can SMELL the fear...yo man, i am pushing 30 yrs old, and i STILL get treated like a criminal. You know how many times i've been in a store buying food, or clothes and someone is scared of me cause of the way i look, and i've walked up to them and went "BOO!!!" "RAAAHHR!! ROAR!!!!!" they jump like Jordan. it's pathetic that ppl automatically assume you'll be robbed by someone cause of their skin color. if that's not the case here, and you and your friends aren't racist, or your friend was genuinely scared, and doesn't think like that, then just ignore the post man.

PEAS;)
The Ab

[JWTAYLOR]

You walk up to strangers and go BOO!!!" "RAAAHHR!! ROAR!!!!! and yet you wonder why they are afraid of you?

Regardless of race, that's just weird.

JWT

[Justa Man]

ab, we aren't all like that. :) i know i wouldn't cross the street for anyone, but i'd listen to what my gut tells me. but then again, maybe you give off a bad vibe and you can't really blame heads for being sensitive for that. people are ignorant though, and that's unfortunate, but all ANYONE has to go on is what they've been taught and what they feel. no one is wrong for that.

but ryu, that happened to me once before too. i was walking and this black girl walked up behind me and did that sh!t. i can tell you that i've grown up in mostly latino and black neighborhoods my entire life so i don't get nervous by heads walking behind me. so that reason is chucked out the window. i do think that she did it cuz i was white and because of HER ignorancem not mine. but i found her scream so mean a thing to do, so rude i almost ****ed her and her man. of course they laughed and didn't really have a reason when i asked why she would do such a dumb@ss thing and i told her she's lucky she's a woman. her man backed off cuz he could tell i was ready to crack him one in an instant.

fu.ckin ignorance.

[Sharky]

i don't see why ryu mentioned she was black or what it has to do with it.

[Mojo]

Abstract
your an idiot.

Ryu
Tell your friend to call the police and make an assault charge, and to also go to the courts and get a restraining order on that lunatic.

[Sharky]

No he's not.

[Sharky]

"I took him through full contact sucker punch scenario drills, hidden knife awareness drills, adrenaline dump response and management, contact sparring and boxing and contact grappling. Obviously nothing to hurt him, but definitely something to let him get over the fear of getting hit, and to work through his tendency to "freeze" when his adrenaline hit. I think this is realistic."

Hi ryu, what things did you do to train to deal with the adrenaline dump? I have a problem recreating this feeling in class/training.

I think like someone's sig says, it's ignorant and foolish to go out without at least basic skills to look after yourself and loved ones. Encourage them to get training, even if not from you. Women especially.

But the main thing is: COMMON SENSE and EVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS. Unfortunately your friend was in her own complex when this happened to her. But man, two of my best friends are next door, they are girls and after dark, i do NOT let them go anywhere walking after dark. I'll make them get the taxi or i will go walk with them or make sure someone will be with them - and they totally understand. A girl got raped not 20 metres from my bedroom, in the alley behind here. What i mean is not find all ur female friends and escort them everywhere ( ;) *heh*) all the time. But make them realise how vulnerable they are - make that message clear - it's not a nice thing to be the one to make them realise it (like when i was trying to tell my sister that nearly any male could do whatever he wanted to with her, physically), you gotta be nasty to be nice sometimes.

I have no idea where i am going with this post - i only posted to ask the question at the top :) :D :cool: :cool: :o :p :confused:

lack of sleep does certain things to your brain.

[shaolinboxer]

Abstract is not an idiot.

It is interesting....I am as white as they come...lightbrown hair, blue eyes (and a Jew)...and I'm not that big a guy (5'10", 162 lbs). I have been on the receiving end of attacks like this many times. Sometimes people yell at me, or call me names, or shove/shoulder me, or my favorite, smack me right in the back of the head. My fiance once called me a racist for saying that I have been attacked by blacks and latinos many times, but soon realized after witnessing it happen several times that it is true. I get singled out.

I am not afraid of other races (I live in Hell's Kitchen), and I see where there frustration is coming from. But acting so agressive is not really any solution. It makes it hard for a guy like me to keep a clear and open mind, which I proudly cling to.

If some white guy thinks you are going to be agressive with him, and then you are....well what's the point. You have guaranteed that the next time that white guy encounters someone of similar color and style, he'll be afraid....essentially you are helping support a frame of mind that will lead to him insulting another one of your brothers through your own weakness and ignorance.

It is frustrating when, after so much energy spent developing and open heart and mind, someone choses to vent their frustrations on me because of my race. It is a real problem, from both sides. I try to do my part.

[Ray Pina]

Abstract, I don't like the way you presented your argument, because in doing so, you just fuel the other side. You said: You know how many times i've been in a store buying food, or clothes and someone is scared of me cause of the way i look, and i've walked up to them and went "BOO!!!" "RAAAHHR!! ROAR!!!!!"

What does that do? All the guy does now is go back home and say: "Yo, I was at the store and some black guy was looking suspicious (I'll get to this later) and then comes up to me and yells Booo." The same thing Ryu said.

Now, I am far from Rascist, I have friends across the whole spectrum. I grew up in Newark. I've had a bike stolen by a black guy, caught another breaking into my jeep. Do I think its because they are black? No. Econimics.


I was just thinking this while riding my bike last night. Everytime I saw soemone I looked and checked them out just because it was added scenary. I look at houses, trees and especially people.

I saw a mixed couple eating an ice cream cone and looked, but then looked away because I didn;t want them to think I was looking at them because they were a ratialy mixed couple. Then I thought, "Who cares."

I hear that all the time. These people were looking at us because we were black and white. Maybe they were looking just because they were looking. I people watch. So does my girl. So do most people I know.

If you persieve something, chances are it comes from within.

What type of person would yell BOOO at another adult? Black or white, certainly not a Harvard grad I'm guessing.

If you feel people are behaving ignorantly, combating it with super ignorance is not the answer.

[Xebsball]

"you want to be able to defend yourself against a "arrogant NHB" wannabee you better train like they do."

Thats bull****, buy a .38 on the black market :D

If i were a thief or whatever, i wouldnt even let victim have a chance of defending. We should be glad bad people generally are dead stupid.


I dont think screaming is a crime...

I do feel when you say "black woman" you are having racial prejudice tendencies. Ask yourself, if she was white, would your friend say "a white woman assaulted me". No she wouldnt.

[Badger]

I dont think she was being prejudice.
She was just describing the attacker.

Its the US...Texas, There are more white people than black people...of course thats how you would start to describe her.

Black people in a black neighborhood will describe a white guy as well a white guy.

Using words like white,black,Mexican,Asian,big,little,red-headed,etc. are not racist.

USE COMMON SENSE OVER POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!!!!!



Badger

[red_fists]

I must say you got some weird people living over there.

[AdrianUK]

Is it really unusual for mixed race couples in the US ? I went to a mainly white high school but I had friends of all nationalities and I never thought anything strange about it. The only race issue I heard of was a work colleague who married a coloured girl and was assaulted in brixton by a couple of black guys who took offence at him being with a black girl. I am sure they were the minority though. Me, I walk past all people the same, taking note of them, their stance etc but colour does not come into it, and I certainly never had someone come up behind me and go "BOO!", maybe its my size or its a US thing. Anyone from another country had this done ?

PS

Maybe its the whole walking around like a victim thing, I never walk with my head down avoiding contact with people ?

[scotty1]

"It was very dark and behind her was a black woman who was sort of following close behind"

I did think when I read the above sentence that this is assuming the reader is white, otherwise why specify the assailants colour but not your friends? Which I thought some people would pick up on. But I suppose that's a natural thing to do if you're white, like if I was black talking to black friends I would specify "a white guy".

And I hear what you're saying about common sense Badger.
I completley agree with you, political correctness for the sake of it ****es me off in the extreme.

But I guess the question was why specify one characters colour and not the other when clearly speaking to a muticultural / multiracial audience. Its almost like the people are white by default, which, to be fair, in a lot of peoples minds they probably are.

Anyway, that's a bit off topic isn't it? :)

Ryu, you're doing good work. If you weren't teaching your friends these skills, do you think they would have gone to a McDojo and been fed some crap which would have got them into trouble?
Especially your guy with the fight coming his way.

[KungFuGuy!]

This forum should have it's named changed to "bad things that happen to Ryu and his friends". :D
Ryu, it just sounds to me that your friend was acting paranoid, and the woman behind her figured it was because she was black. She may have been right, who knows, but she decided to give your friend something to be paranoid about. Sorta living up to the stereotype for the fun of it. I do it all the time when I'm talking with Americans, I say "eh" and "aboot" and live up to other Canadian stereotypes just to give them a story to tell. It's fun :D
Anyways, it's no big deal, tell your friend to just relax and that black people aren't out to get her ;)

[Din Gao]

Mixed race couples are more and more common. It has always been more prevalent in cities but is becoming more common elsewhere.

Even if that were the reason. And the girl knew the other person was scared because of her race it was pretty stupid to do that. Ignorant acts breed greater ignorance.

You never know how people are going to respond. The person could turn out to be Bernard Getz on the subway (for those that remember). Different circumstances but people's actions or reactions can be frightening.

[Sharky]

we are going off the point and it's probably my fault.

would appreciate reply to my " adrenaline " q though mate.

[Ryu]

First of all it was my fault for saying it like that. My apologies. I mentioned it because it was her description. She also had her hair tied back, and had glasses, and some books in her arms.
I in no way meant that to sound racist at all. My friend is Mongolian.
Regardless if it was a prank or not (I'm guessing it was) my friend was still very frightened by it. It came as a complete surprise, and no she wasn't even paying attention to the person behind her. When she called me she was crying in fear so I don't care whether it was a "joke" or not, get my drift?

I would like to post more, but I'm real pressed for time now.
Sharky, I'll answer your question later on today. :)

Sorry again guys,
Ryu

[Sharky]

thanks mate :)

is this forum loading really slowly for everyone else?

[Abstract]

i hear u man, i didn't mean to come off like that either. That was a knee-jerk response cause, well, it's just that if the lady was white, asian, european, etc, her race wouldn't have been mentioned and i wouldn't have thought to say what i did. But because it was stated that she was black, i took exception cause, well, like i posted, it's happened to me before in more ways than one. Did anyone ever see 'Boomerang' with Eddie Murphy? that scene when he, Martin Lawrence & David Alan Grier are shopping for suits and the clerk, who is white, is clockin' them cause they're black and he thinks they can't afford the clothes so they'll steal them? watch that scene, and how it ends. it's funny, yea, but he didn't make that up man, art imitates life.

Ryu I didn't think you were being racist man, you're one of the most level-headed cats on KFO, the ppl who've been on KFO know i didn't mean any either, but no disrespect dunn. Sorry bout your friends bad experience, hope she's ahhite.

and to that newer cat who called me an idiot, THESE NUTS, muthaeffa. :rolleyes:

[triskellin]

my sis went through an unnerving situation while she was on holiday in belgium too. she claimed that a witch was trying to put a hex on her, lol. well my sis is chinese, and i don't think there's too many asians in belgium, so she was obviously a tourist.
she's outside a maccas restaurant, and the 'witch' sits down next to her and kept saying 'money'. my sis kept saying 'no money', but the lady kept repeating it over and over again. my sis gets sick of it and pretends to read a book, but when she looked at the lady again, she was fully staring at her! so they're having this staring competition for literally a min or two, and the lady was supposedly rubbing this pendant on her neck. but sis said it became too much and she was the first to crack and look away. then she runs into maccas, and hides in a corner, but the witch follows her into the restuarant! luckily she didn't see her, so she went back outside, hung around for awhile and finally left. i said the lady was a freak and she should have swore at her (i'm sure what the F*CK do you want?? is a universal phrase right??) but my sis was convinced the rubbing pendant act was the lady putting a hex on her, lol. anyway, the old lady supposedly looked like a stereotype of a witch, wearing all black and tattered clothes, and her eyes were meant to be scary too. anyway, i said my sis was stupid for letting a stranger sit so close and letting the incident drag on for so long, but i got scared with that story too, hehe.