MA and Beans!!

[red_fists]

Hi Guys.

Found this over on E-Budo. A good read.

Martial Arts And ****s (Real)
How To Use ****ing As A Learning Experience

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Author: Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl)
Date: 1994/04/04



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A public secret amongst the people who practice one kind or other of Martial Art is that the uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a **** coming up (down) occurs more often in the dojo that outside of it.

When the feeling is there it tends to seriously disrupt the unification of mind and body.

There are two ways that can happen. One is that you feel it coming and try to prevent it from erupting so hard that you can't concentrate on anything else, specifically the sensei or the partner you work with. This attempt to not **** will fail, as we all know. You see, after a while the second way for a **** to distort the unification of mind and body will reveal itself and that is the **** itself coming out. This always takes place when delivering a kick, punch, or during another sudden movement. This is only prevented by sitting down and not moving until very silently the methane has slipped out. But people will wonder, and then know, so the effect will be the same as ****ing aloud. As said before, during a motion of the body the gas will erupt in a disorderly manner, causing you to focus on the entire dojo focusing on you.

This situation is best dealt with by turning it into a learning experience. The trick is to completely ignore the **** and the effects it has on the people around you. Let the world be the world without affecting your inner peace. The ability to ignore ****s is in fact one step further on the long road of unification of mind and body. The person who is able to disarm and eliminate a dangerous opponent and at the same time **** without wincing a muscle is surely a master.

Strong is the man who can **** without distorting his inner strength.

If you feel weak and do not want to bother yourself with this exercise, remember to pay attention what you eat before practice. Speaking from experience I can say that eating a sauerkraut meal beforehand will give you more chance to exercise unification of mind and body than you dreamt of.

I will at this time not go into using a **** as an assault weapon.

Seeya.

P.S.: In my Home country we say that 1 Bean contains 7 ****s.

;) ;)

[beautifulvaley]

I would never pass gas in my dojo because I would get knocked out from the smell and sound

[red_fists]

Useful distraction technique while doing a 2 partner drill or similar.

:D :D

[Tae Li]

ahhhhhhaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha,


LAUGHING MY ARSE OFF!!!!!!!!

AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,

Tae Li;)

the truth is someitmes really sweet:D

aaaaahahahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaahahhahahhahhaha.

good one Red_Fist, can always count on you;)

[scotty1]

There was a guy in my old class who would **** constantly.

****ing hilarious it was, but for him to keep that amount in would have been quite unhealthy I think.

Always when when he bent over to stretch!

[dezhen2001]

d@mn! :D Just read that and it made me LMAO... then i got busted by my lecturer :(

Heck, it was worth it though :D
good one mate!

david

[Tae Li]

That ALWAYS happens to me!! not what u said scotty:rolleyes: , what Dez said about being busted for laughing out loud in class! u know whats even worse???? when u think about it again and your WALKING IN THE STREET! HOW EMBARRASING! i just ****s my self laughing and people just stare! hilarious stuff!

Tae Li;) aka crazy...completely!

[scotty1]

Reading your posts knackers me out Tae Li! :D

[Tae Li]

gee thanx Scotty, but I dont think your gonna be knackkered much longer, cos i was sort of really driect about the pics on the other thread...hehehe...hehehehe? right? oops (Tae Li goes red in the face)

sorry Scotty, nothin personal:o

Tae Li;) aka completely stupid at present!

[Hai_To]

LOL!

Red_Fists that was hysterical. It reminded me of one incident in my old school. The class was doing sit-ups where you lay on your back, have your legs straight up (90 degree angle) and reach up to slap your feet. One of the students obviously had something for lunch he shouldn't have because during one sit-up he let loose. It was too funny. The best part was there was a senior student in the line ahead of him with his head in the worst possible location. I thought I'd hurt myself from laughing so hard. :D

[fa_jing]

Very funny, very true. Watching what you eat beforehand helps, but you don't always have control over this. Just a couple months ago I had to let one rip when we were jumping rope.
Back 12 years ago when I studied TKD I had this problem alot. Because of my teenager metabolism I would alway eat before and after class.
The worst is when you are carrying a load and doing stomach taps. Oh man.

-FJ
:)

[Felipe Bido]

A few weeks ago, there were a group of students from a Shaolin school practicing Iron Shirt with my sifu. They were doing an excercise in which you tie a belt to your belly, and someone grabs you by the belt, pulls you towards him, and strikes you in the Dan Tien.

Well, one of the guys punched another so hard, that the guy ripped a LOUD one. I think that it was heard miles away. We practice in a park, and the sound was so evident that everyone around turned to see who commited that atrocity.


Ok, Buh'bye! :D

[AndyM]

Beans are an important source of Carbohydrate in the diet. Now I appreciate that you guys may think I am jesting here, but the scent of ones digestive tract is highly important in the Southern style I practice. We have to eat and drink carefully to be able to use these skills spontaneously and without effort. Toning of the muscle groups involved in control of the process has moved beyond simple dynamic tension exercises, to a system more akin to training the larynx of the professional opera singer.

I can't let you into every secret here you understand, but picture the scene!

You are sparring away nicely, deliberately giving ground to your opponent. Unbeknownst to him, you have laid a trail of scent in foront of him. The key to the technique is to watch for the reaction in the cheek muscles and adams apple. When you see the involuntary 'gag reflex' you may safely attack without fear of retribution.

Alternatively, on Ninja type stealth missions, you can distract security guards, by throwing your voice, making him look elsewhere for you.

AndyM

[dezhen2001]

Felipe: sounds like a complicated method to hit someone in the stomach :D

woulda found it hard to not LMAO when it happened though :D

david