Those Ba$tards Stole My Chicken!!!!!

[Water Dragon]

So I get off for lunch today and make a beeline for the company fridge as I am hungry. i get in there, grab my corn, grab my potato's grab my...

HEY!!!! Where's my chicken? It's gotta be around here somewhere. Mabe on another shelf? No. Did someone move it? No. Is it in a bag? No (But that Twinkie I found was pretty good)

THOSE BA$TARDS STOLE MY CHICKEN!!!!!!!

So I had to settle for a cheeseburger meal from McDonalds. Which, by the way, was out of carbonated drinks so here I am sucking down an orange pop as well :(

I hope that ba$tard thief chokes on a chicken bone.

[chen zhen]

................................ok

[Water Dragon]

Just to add insult to injury, they kept the da.mn tupperware too!

[MonkeySlap Too]

Hey WD! Is this like, a metaphor or something that we should all be getting?

Or is your workplace about to become a shaw bros. movie set?

"You stole my chicken, and for that you must pay!"

[Black Jack]

That sucks,

Next time bring a piece of chicken that you wiped your ass with, your revenge will be sweet and painfull.

[Water Dragon]

No, they really took my chicken.

[ewallace]

Wait a week or two and bring in some chicken that was sitting out for about 10 days. Apply paint as necessary to cover any blemishes. That'll teach them to steal your chicken again.

[KC Elbows]

I used to work at a place where that happened all the time, they even stole my christmas bonus turkey. Then, one day, I put a bag in there that had chips and cheese dip in it, and my name on the front.

Before lunch, three guys came out of lunchroom and parked their arses by the water fountain for a solid hour. I came up to them and said, "What, nine jabeneras too much for ya?"

Just remember, jabeneras, blender, cheese dip. Its a b1tch to clean the blender, but the culprits WILL have a facial rash in one hour, I guarantee it.

[wufupaul]

Man, same thing happens where I work. I've had a nice mousepad stolen, a chicken pot pie, and a hot pocket. Some dude stole a security guard's box of fried chicken yesterday! He was walking around the building trying to find it, too, haha. Several people have been fired here because they were caught stealing other people's lunches. Cheap fargin bastiches!

[Lice]

How big is your company? Find the tupperware and you find the thief.

Company fridge thieves recently have invaded my work place too... they stole my chili rellenos. :(

[Water Dragon]

Dude, there like 150 people on my floor alone. The whole floor is a sea of cubicles.

[MonkeySlap Too]

I baked cookies with ex-lax once. Very effective for identifying the thief.

Of course, that was in grammer school, so I couldn't get fired for it.

[red5angel]

I would disguise your self as a piece of chicken and when they take you and unwrap you, you jump and kick thier a$$! Oh yeah, dress warm.......

[red5angel]

Actually Waterdragon, I am the guy who stole it, I sit two aisles over, I am the one who always laughs really loud? I dare your wussy a$$ to come over and try to kick my butt, I could tak eyou, and dont bother sayin anything you better start swingin' its the only chance you got!

[chen zhen]

Who wants to wipe they're ass with a chicken? That would also be disgusting to yourself;)
That would be like a scene from a Jim Carry movie

[rael]

the blender trick sounds like it worked very well.
Idiot's here at work here stole the VP's lunch next day had a camera pointed at the fridge.. no more stealing lunch's for some cheap pri@k. the chicken butt wipe thing sounds effective I bet they only take one bite!

Rael

[KC Elbows]

This thread wins the best title to an off-topic post award, hands down. I'm hoping to break ahead in the on-topic category with either "Kung Fu vs. Children", "Smoking Crack and Kung Fu", or "The Impotence of Jing"

Wish me luck.

[rubthebuddha]

i like the chips and dip idea, but how the heck did you hide the taste of NINE jabañeros? they're kinda noticeable.

just a teensie bit.

and as jason lee said said in mallrats after he wiped his bum with his hand before shaking hands with an evil father:

"it's a small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies."

[Royal Dragon]

I have some old Anarchist/Survivalist Wacko catalogs. One has a section titled "Ultimate revenge". In it there is a formula to make people VERY sick to thier stomach, including nausea, vomiting, Migrane, the runs etc... It comes in a small bottle that looks like red food coloring droppers used to decorate Eggs around holloween. If you want, I can see if I can find the catalog, order you some of this stuff, and deliver it next time we meet up at MJ's.

Then, all you have to do is place your chicken in the fridge, and wait.

Muuuaaahhhhhaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D