OT: New Element Discovered

[txwingchun]

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium." Administratium has 1 neutron, 12
assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held
together by a force called morons, which is surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.Since Administratium
has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute
amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead undergoes a
reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it....

[KC Elbows]

lol

I happen to work at a compex that holds the highest concentration of administratium in the region. What few scientists realize is that, during each reorganization of the administratium atom, stray particles, always either morons that have become neutrons, or particles from the different orders of morons, break away from the administratium atom and begin to form new administratium atoms.

Originally, researchers did not realize that administratium was an inert atom, as, under an electron microscope, it appears to always be very active. However, this is merely the movement of the peon particles, and for every peon particle that is moving in one direction, there is another peon moving in the opposite direction. Eventually, these peon particles will collide, all appearances of activity will cease, and the peon's will appear to be merely standing still. When this appears, the nucleas will form what is known as "committee clusters" which begin moving peons in opposing directions again.

Occassionaly, the nucleus will shed peons in what is known as "lay-offs". These stray particles will gravitate towards other administratium atoms unless more useful elements are present.

[dezhen2001]

:D

david

[guohuen]

That was almost too close to the truth to be funny. I said almost.:D

[Sho]

Morons should represent electrons, because they do not have a significant mass which equals to their brain capacity. :D

By the way, the element must have electrons because the number of electrons equals to the amount of protons. Because the atomic mass is 312, the number of protons is 113 (312 (atomic mass) take away 199 (# of neutrons)) which makes the amount of electrons 113. Without electrons, there wouldn't be the element, because protons keep electrons together and vice versa (negative and positive charges).

Okay. Just kidding here. :)

Funny thread.

[mantis108]

You forgot to mention the most dangerous property of all. It is highly flammable with the M-element (money). So don't place any form or amount of money near it. It will becomes organic matter. Then you will have to clean up after the pooh. Very messy and nasty. ;)

Mantis108

[shaolinboxer]

That was brilliant enough to plagerize (sp?).

[fa_jing]

I got 3/4 quarters of the way down , before I got it. And I was a physics major, shows how long I've been out of it.

-FJ