Do the Afghans know something about the Royal Marines that we don't?

[rogue]

What was the name of this operation? (http://www.news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?id=561752002&tid=1)

Funny but they never did this for our boys. And I won't mention reperations for blowing the goats.

[rogue]

Uhhh, that was blowing goats off of a mountain with their helicopters.

Chris Stephen In Bagram

www.scotsman.com

BRITISH marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat - being propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers.

An Arbroath marine, James Fletcher, said: "They were more terrifying than the al-Qaeda. One bloke who had painted toenails was offering to paint ours. They go about hand in hand, mincing around the village."

While the marines failed to find any al-Qaeda during the seven-day Operation Condor, they were propositioned by dozens of men in villages the troops were ordered to search.

"We were pretty shocked," Marine Fletcher said. "We discovered from the Afghan soldiers we had with us that a lot of men in this country have the same philosophy as ancient Greeks: 'a woman for babies, a man for pleasure'."

Originally, the marines had sent patrols into several villages in the mountains near the town of Khost, hoping to catch up with al-Qaeda suspects who last week fought a four-hour gun battle with soldiers of the Australian SAS. The hardened troops, their faces covered in camouflage cream and weight down with weapons, radios and ammunition, were confronted with Afghans wanting to stroke their hair.

"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."

At one stage, troops were invited into a house and asked to dance. Citing the need to keep momentum in their search and destroy mission, the marines made their excuses and left. "They put some music on and ask us to dance. I told them where to go," said Cpl Richard. "Some of the guys turned tail and fled. It was hideous."

The Afghan hill tribes live in some of the most isolated communities in the country. "I think a lot of the problem is that they don't have the women around a lot," said another marine, Vaz Pickles. "We only saw about two women in the whole six days. It was all very disconcerting."

A second problem the British found came minutes after the first helicopter touched down at one of the hilltop firebases, when local farmers appeared demanding compensation for goats they claimed had been blown off the mountains by the rotor blades. "Every time we landed a Chinook near a village, we got some irate bloke running up to us saying his goat has just got blown off the mountain ridge by the helicopter - and then he demanded a hundred dollars compensation," said Major Phil Joyce, commander of Whisky Company, one of four companies deployed.

As patrols moved away from the landing zones, the locals began pestering Afghan troops attached to the marines with ever more outrageous compensation demands - topping off at a demand from one village elder for $500 (£300) for damage to a tree by the downdraft from helicopters.

But the marines were under orders to win the "hearts and minds" of local farmers in what is one of the few remaining Taleban bastions. "I managed to barter him down to two marine pens, a pencil and a rubber," Major Joyce said. "He went away quite happy ."

[ReverendTim]

It's amazing to me that Marines, Royal or otherwise, can accept being shot at, stabbed, or bombed with not a hint of fear, but a guy with painted toenails sends them packing.

--
Rev. Tim

P.S. I'm just saying that if I have a choice between getting blown up, and well, blown...

[Shadow Dragon]

Always though there was something queer about the "Royal" Marines.

I heard they are supposed to be a pain in the posterior.

j/k of course.

[Ras-Tanu]

nasty. I heard a story very similar to this a few months ago. Apparently, after the taleban fell, all the h0mos surfaced. They were pretty much restricted under the taleban, but now they're walking around with young boys, hand in hand. (puking smilie goes here)

[rogue]

I guess if you can't celebrate the Queens 50th, you may as well celebrate with 50 queens!

I thought this story was really funny. The RM train to handle any conditions but I doubt they ever figured on this.

[Mr Punch]

just

LOL!

[JWTAYLOR]

I guess if you can't celebrate the Queens 50th, you may as well celebrate with 50 queens!

Now THAT's comedy.

JWT

[HopGar]

"I guess if you can't celebrate the Queens 50th, you may as well celebrate with 50 queens! "

Or drag queens depending on your preference, like in that hilarious article!

[The Willow Sword]

a band of al qieda troops are wandering through the desert when from behind a sand dune a voice shouts out"one good texas marine is worth 10 of your alqieda soldiers!!!!!!!!"
well the commander of the al qieda sends 10 soldiers over the dune and a gun battle ensues. all becomes quiet,,,THEN a voice shouts out from behind the sand dune,,"hahahahaha one good texas marine is worth 50 of your alqieda soldiers!!!!!!" well the commander is mad and that he lost 10 of his troops so he sends 50 more across the dune to confront this marine. another gun battle ensues and then all is quiet. THEN,,, a voice shouts over the dune "bwahahahaha one good texas marine is worth a WHOLE REGIMENT of you turds!!!!!!" well the commander has had enough and sends his whole regiment over the dune and the loudest and most violent gun battle ensues,,,,,,then all is quiet.

one al qieda survivor stumbles over the dune barely alive and says to the commander" its a trick its a trick,,there are two of them."""

badum bum shhhhhh!!!!:D

[ewallace]

Now if that's the kind of news that goes on in Europe, I shall remain misinformed and continue to get my news from CNN.
:)

[rogue]

LOL Das a guud one The Willow Sword. :D

[DelicateSound]

Man. It sure takes a lot to scare our boys, but it seems that Osama has found it.

Maybe we should sent Elton John over to commandeer them as a new rebel alliance. :D

[norther practitioner]

But the marines were under orders to win the "hearts and minds" of local farmers in what is one of the few remaining Taleban bastions. "I managed to barter him down to two marine pens, a pencil and a rubber," Major Joyce said. "He went away quite happy ."



Thats funny!

$100 to a few pens a pencil and a rubber:rolleyes:

[NorthernMantis]

"We were pretty shocked," Marine Fletcher said. "We discovered from the Afghan soldiers we had with us that a lot of men in this country have the same philosophy as ancient Greeks: 'a woman for babies, a man for pleasure'."

Puke!! Barf!! Hack!! Gag!!! :( :eek:

[African Tiger]

Gives new meaning to an Arab man asking you to come in his tent...:o

And may I just clarify that was the BRITISH MARINES, and not USMC. Run hell - we'd would have sent them off to gay valhalla via a few well placed grenades...