A Story from Last Night....

[Merryprankster]

So I got done with Jiujitsu and my gf (Nicole) and I went to the gas station to hang out on the curb and get something to drink before I had to go to work. About 10 minutes in, a woman pulled up near the pumps who had a flat and clearly had no idea how to change it.

I lumbered on over and got to work.

When I was about 3/4 of the way through, I hear Nicole yell "I don't ****ing talk to strangers! Leave me alone!!!" So I look over and there are two guys in a car talking to her for whatever reason. Nicole was on her way closer to the tire changing escapades. I stared at the guys in the car long enough to let them know I heard and saw what happened and got back to changing the woman's tire.

They pulled away.

While I was in the process of ****ing around with one of the lugnuts, my ass flat on the ground, these guys pulled BACK into the station, right between me and Nicole, who was sitting on the curb at the pump. I was just far enough away that opening the car door wouldn't have hit me. They were clearly drunk, and explained that they weren't flirting with Nicole, just trying to make sure she was ok, etc. The woman who's tire I was changing was kind enough to assist in disposing of them for me while I told them everything was ok at the same time.

They drove off and stayed away.

What's important about this? Tactical awareness--formulating a plan as you see a situation develop and preparing yourself to execute that plan.

I was in a disadvantaged position. My back was exposed to the passenger side door of the drunk guys' car. I had a woman and two kids to worry about in the car, in the event that something bad happenned. I was flat on my ass with a small, not too heavy tire iron in my right hand.

At this point, I assessed the situation, and came to the following conclusions:

1. Nicole had the advantage of mobility. Assuming that the driver attempted to assault her, it was a short run to the gas station. Plus, she's ranked in Kenpo and has a BJJ blue belt. From a triage perspective, she's a green--maybe some minor injuries, but able to take care of herself.

2. The woman didn't know how to change a tire--I made an assumption that she probably didn't know how to fight. The kids in the car were another factor. Hostages of some sort may have become an issue--who knows? In an altercation, I would have shouted to her to run around the FAR SIDE of her car, enter through the passenger side door, and drive off on her half mounted doughnut. Better to wreck the mounting studs, her donut, her axle and possibly her differential than for me to have to bargain for the safety of the kids and her.

3. I didn't have time to try and get up if this guy got out of the car--he had the door partway open before the car was stopped, and no seatbelt. I choked up on the tire iron so I could swing moderately effectively with it, but use the butt end for stabbing or slashing. If he exited the car, I would execute a rolling kneebar sweep, and whack/slash/stab him in the kneecap/thigh/whatever with the tire iron, and switch off to a standing position to stomp on his face. I would continue to put me between the guy and the woman's car in the event that she did not manage to follow directions, until she got away or the guy was neutralized.

4. Assuming Nicole could keep the other bozo occupied long enough, I'd pitch in and help. If not, he's coming for me anyway :)


It took much less time to develop than it did to type it :)

Self-defense is about making assumptions based on the best information currently available, for good or ill, then acting on those assumptions. You don't have time to wonder if they have a knife or a gun (I DID, but you don't have time to plan for the "what if's" at that point in time).

It doesn't matter if you are martially trained or not, you can still practice that aspect--decisiveness. Kinda cool, I think. Did I do the right thing? I don't know what the experts would say. I might have done every single thing wrong or thought every single thing incorrectly.

The other odd thing about this was that looking back, this is one fight that actually would have STARTED on the ground. How wierd is that? I mean, I REALLY just didn't think I had time to try and get up before this guy would have me pinned to the car, so I just instantly thought--rolling kneebar sweep.

Anyway--just thought I'd share that bit of oddness with everyone.

[apoweyn]

merryprankster,

you two should have come over and watched 'buffy the vampire slayer' with beth and me. much, much safer.

i'd even let you bring a tire iron. and sit on the floor. :)


stuart b.

[scotty1]

Thanks for sharing.:D

I often find myself playing out self defence scenarios in my head or checking people out who are near my (and my gf's) space in public places.

I think it freaks my girl out sometimes, she thinks I've seen something dodgy, but I'm just checking that there's nothing dodgy to see.

[KC Elbows]

Really, I was just seeing if your girlfriend was OK. :D

Good post. I've come to the conclusion over the last year that martial arts is absolutely useless without situational awareness. Your post demonstrates that very well.

[LEGEND]

What club were u hitting???

[guohuen]

Exellant example of tactical awareness! Keep up the good work!

[Budokan]

"The woman didn't know how to change a tire--I made an assumption that she probably didn't know how to fight." --MerryPrankster

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice deduction, Sherlock.

[apoweyn]

budokan,

perhaps you'd prefer that merryprankser assume that the mother with the children and a flat tire was perfectly capable of defending herself and said children against two male adults all on her own?

as he said, you make a decision based on the scant information at hand.

so, you'd have done what differently?


stuart b.

[Budokan]

Oh, puh-leeze. :rolleyes:

As a responsible parent myself, I can see how she might not have wanted to put herself in an exposed and hard-to-defense situation such as kneeling down and changing a tire. Perhaps she would rather remain on her two feet to insure mobility and protect her children, while at the same time trying to catch someone's attention to help her?

Besides. Not knowing how to change a tire simply doesn't equate into not knowing martial arts. It's too much of a stretch to make that assumption, and probably dangerous to boot. I mean, do we then make the leap of faith that if a woman is broke down on the side of the Interstate and she's changing her tire, she can capably defend herself? Of course not.

A simple question, politely asked, would have cleared up the entire situation without having to go around making unqualified "deductions" as to the woman's capability of defending herself and her children.

;)

[Ryu]

Merry, not too weird. I've had a fight actually hit the floor before I realized it was a real fight. :) It's not as uncommon as you think.
Glad to hear everything went all right.
You did what was right. You were aware of all your surroundings, the possibilities of being at a disadvantage, etc. I would have gotten up as soon as I heard the car coming back, but I wasn't there so don't know how much time you had. Even while still on your back you were preparing for weapon use and a grappling stand up. Good planning.

This is what I keep trying to tell the reality guys and MMA guys. The two can COMPLIMENT each other wonderously. Self-Defense IS 90% tactical awareness, choices, mindset, psychology, etc. You are trying to get the advantage (even if it means a sneaky one) on a possible threat. IF the threat goes physical, you BETTER have skills on you that are backed up by all out sparring, resistent opponents, and a good knowledge of the basics of punching, kicking, and grappling.
:cool: But sadly....... the tomatos are then thrown at me :(

Here comes one now... gotta go!

*splat*

Ryu

[Mr Punch]

Good job Nicole knows something. As far as the situational awareness goes,�@that's pretty important.

I was in a riot once, and I had to make sure my then girlfriend was the hell out of the way of a horse charge she didn't even know was coming! It was scary!! I just wanted to get the **** outta there myself!

When all the time of course, I just wanted to get on with kicking the crap out of the pigs!!:rolleyes:

Seriously, I was thinking about this the other day: make sure you tell your gf, without sounding like a freak, that if the **** hits the fan, you have to act!... When my gf gets into any kind of 'situation', even crossing a busy road, she tenses up, and grips my hand like the HULK!!! It does take an extra second to extricate yourself in these situations, without damaging your woman...

Budokan:

Does not knowing how to change a tyre equate to not knowing martial arts?? No.

Does the fact that the vast majority of people don't know **** from pudding in everyday life mean they can't defend themselves?

I say weigh in if you have to play public hero, and if turns out that the person you're defending is a 12th dan kobudo expert with a hidden katana, just sit back and watch the fun!!

What polite question are you gonna ask?

"Excuse me missus, but if these likely looking mass-murderers have a pop, are you gonna be able to take them out or do you want some help?"

[HongKongPhooey]

If you are sitting at home having a nice cuppa tea with your girl friend and are able to type what happened, then what you did was right.

There is nothing more important at the end of the day than sitting around with the ones you love. Amongst other things.

Feel the Lurv!!

[Merryprankster]

Budokan:

I agree that not being able to change a tire has absolutely nothing to do with being able to fight. I was basing my assumption on her clearly distraught demeanor (it was just a flat, and she lived round the corner) plus the lack of one real world skill.

Is that appropriate logic for an argument? Nope. But when I have to make split second decisions, I put what pieces I had together to make an assumption, for better or worse, and chose a course of action based on that assumption. For all I know, that woman was an Amazon warrior. Based on my limited observations, which include but were not limited to the tire changing, I concluded she wouldn't be much use in a fight.

Put simply, I didn't have time to find out so I made a mildly educated guess.


Ryu---My back was towards the vector of approach and I was concentrating on getting the friggin lugnut off :) I didn't realize it was them until too late. I also worried about standing because I was concerned about being seen as aggressive--tall guy, turning to face the car with two drunk guys and a tire iron.

[rogue]

It's always dangerous to assume too much.

"I concluded she wouldn't be much use in a fight."

You also assumed that she would be a non-combatant or a non-participant if a situation did happen, very dangerous. Part of situational awarenss is also recognizing possible wild cards or variables. She may have felt an attachment to you and jumped into the mix either helping or getting in the way. She may have felt her children were threatened and done something to protect them once again possibly helping, hindering you or if she felt you, by your actions were the threat, going after you. This is what makes LEO work a real pain. You did good but next time out keep a more open mind to the gray areas. :cool:

[Gabriel]

Hey good awareness bud. The part about her being a fighter or not or jumping in the midst of battle is pure conjecture, imho. I think you did the best with the info you had.

Gabriel

[dragontounge2]

Well the only thing that I have to disagree with is that you put your self in that situation. Hell the guy could have had a knive, bat, or even a gun. Your responsibility would be your girlfriend being attacked by some guy, than a woman and her two kids who the two guys dont give a sh!t about. Its a hard choice but I think your girlfriend is the one that needed protection because they obviously had some interest in her and was most likely not for her well being. You could have told her to come sit by you or tell her to go inside the gas station or something like that.

[Merryprankster]

rogue--I agree with what you have to say. I was counting on her compliance to GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE when I directed her to. I can't guarentee that she'd follow orders, which is a problem, but I was hoping that projecting command presence would stimulate compliance. I'm mildly familiar with LE tactics, but hardly an insider...some of it rubs off thanks to periodic training in the CG (shrug).

dragontounge--my responsibility is to the person least able to protect themselves. That's part of being a public servant. I KNEW Nicole could take care of herself for at least a few precious seconds. I had my reservations about the woman and certainly, her kids were a liability.

[rogue]

"I was counting on her compliance to GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE when I directed her to."

If you find a way to make a woman do what she's directed to do please tell me, I've been working on Mrs Rogue for 15 years and still haven't succeded.:D