Episode Two, Love And Mulletts.

[MightyB]

(read KFO Movie Casting Assignments or What Ever Happened to the KFO Movie for the complete "plot" summary)

It has been 5 years since the original KFO Movie. Everybody is a little fatter, stupider, and balder, except for Gene who is mysteriously growing new hair. Royal Dragon and his minions have taken over vast amounts of KFO. Many have died in the great battles between Wushu Chick's body guards and the mini RDs.

There is a growing rift amongst the Bodyguards. Wushu is becomming very close with Ryu and Crimson Pheonix doesn't like it.

INT. WUSHU TEMPLE OF THE GODDESS. DAY

Ryu and Wushu are talking near the reflecting pool.

Ryu:
I don't like this. It's getting worse. First it was a couple of days out of the month, now, it seems to be weeks.

WC:
I know, I just can't help it, you don't UNDERSTAND! (Wushu's eyes reddin)

Ryu:
Sorry, I just mean,... sorry, uh, well, you seem to be a little irrational at times. You're great most of the time, but for four days out of the month...

WC:
GRRRRR!!! Oh, Oh my. I didn't mean to. I... I just can't help it. Something's, something evil is growing in me. I...

Ryu:
You were with the emporer weren't you?

WC:
(sobbing) Yes! You don't understand. I needed his chi...

Ryu:
You took something evil. Now you need something good.

WC:
Oh Ryu---

END OF SCENE 1

[Royal Dragon]

Hey, I cut my Mullet off and went shorty a few months ago, and I am making a Royal Decree that anyone who angers me will have thier Mullet cut off too because I miss MINE!!!!!:(


Ok, it's been 5 years since they resued the Queen, and she has not been able to regain power because I just pay the reginal leaders too well. Queen "Chickie Poo" just spouts all sorts of "Loyalty" and "Richiousness" nonsense. No one cares about THAT stuff, only Money!! Which I have tones of from pilliaging KFO land during my conquests.

The other thing I have done is tax the common people to death to keep the reginal leaders happily under my controll. That and things are finnaly to a point that if they don't go along with me they end up dead, like Ryu is going to be very soon (MUAHAHAHa!!)

Oh, on anther note, my cat Mr Bigglesworth is missing, if anyone finds him please bring him back to the Palace. He's easy to spot as he has no hair and likes apples.:eek:

[Water Dragon]

You look a lot better without the mullet, trust me.

[Royal Dragon]

I don't get as much sex. My girlfreind really loved it. So much so that she actually CUT ME OFF for 2 weeks for getting it cut off. Can you believe that? I miss the ponytail, but at the same time I'm tierd of looking like a little heavy metal teenager.

Iwas like Mullet-sex, mullet-sex, mullet-sex, finnaly, I said the sex aint worth it anymore and cut it off.:D

My daughter was also upset. out side of them two, everyone likes the new due, especially me.

[Water Dragon]

I'm sorry to hear that. I like the short hair, but you'll get no sex from me.

[Royal Dragon]

That's Ok, she finnaly caved. I guess in the end I'm irresistable even with no hair.

[Royal Dragon]

That's Ok, she finnaly caved. I guess in the end I'm irresistable even with no hair.

[ewallace]

Did you feel like you lost all of your strength when you cut off the mullet?

[Royal Dragon]

Just my power over women....................:(

[BigCountry]

MEXI, MEXI, MEXI-MULLET! HOOOOOO!!!

[Qi dup]

Originally posted by MightyB
[B
It has been 5 years since the original KFO Movie. Everybody is a little fatter, stupider, and balder [/B]

Who's fatter?

[Crimson Phoenix]

ooohhh yes, I don't like Ryu getting that close to Wushu Chick *mumbles sour thoughts with a strange look*

[wushu chik]

It's ok Crimson, you are still loved by me....but, I love him too. What to do? What to do? Oh hell, can i have you BOTH??????

~Wen~

[Ryu]

Not at the same time. :)




............................... (well why can't I be gross and deviant for once? :mad: ) :D

Ryu

[Royal Dragon]

Join me and we can seek revenge against Ryu!!!!

[Volcano Admim]

RD!! My katana is ****ing rusting from the lack of blood in it!!!

I tired of siting on this smelly cave! I thought you were leader! I need sum akxion!!

[wushu chik]

Crimson, don't you dare join RD. He's evil, and he produces tons of Mini Me's. It's actually kinda disturbing. You know I still love you! Just, Ryu saved me, again! What can I say, it happened, over and over and OVER......uh, nevermind!!!

~Wen~

[Royal Dragon]

You are now officially in charge of wipeing out Leonidas. With him out of our way, KFO land will be all MINE!!!!!!!(Well, except for the parts I give to my underlings, to keep them loyal of course)

I want you to take the regular army, and a supporting army of Mini RD's, and slaughter him and anyone who even thinks about him!!!!!!!!!!

kill Kill KILL!!!!!!!

I want daily reports on your progress.


Mean wile the Evil Emperor goes down to his "LAB" to check on his new super secret diabolical super villan weapon (You know, the kind so diabolical and SOO evil we dare not mention it?)

[Royal Dragon]

Don't wate your time with that nympho matic cyber ****, all she does is ignor your needs and throw herself at Ryu!!!

I on the other hand can provide you with many totally hot steammy women who will want you and love you and most importantly DO you when ever you want. AND, you can have as many as you want, variety is important you know.

Heck, if you help me defete Chickie Poo, I'll even grant you land and a province all your own to govern as you see fit (Under me of course) Will Queen Chickie poo do that?? NOOOOOOOOO, she won't even "do" you because she's too busy doink'n Ryu all the time!!

[Crimson Phoenix]

Arrrghhhh money, power, women...but...but...I can't be a traitor...(throwing a grammy award performance)...I love her, but she has no eyes for me...only Ryu, Ryu Ryu...my duty is to remain a bodyguard, while she is impervious to my feelings...while these two fornicate again, and again, and again...they say a passion crime is better looked on than a regular crime *looks sideways at Ryu and the Queen in a psycho way* Better be a criminal than a traitor...no, no I can't think of it, my duty comes first...on the other hand, I could avenge my feelings by joining RD...everything screams in my head, what to do, what to do??? *leaves the palace with fire in his eyes, holding his head in the middle of his schyzo trip*
What will happen next?? Will I try to murder my Queen, so we can be united for ever? Will I try to fight Ryu in an epic mountain-shattering fight (in which he'll never get me in a triangle choke) in an attempt to steal her heart? Will I join RD, blinded by pain and fury with only the taste of vengeance in mind? Or will I eventually swallow my wrath and just remain a simple bodyguard with no concern whatsoever for his own person, only his duty?
I don't know...
I just hope the writers will make it better than Anakin's laughable reasons for becoming Vader ;)

[Royal Dragon]

The most BEAUTIFUL girl (Wearing just a Pink Thong Bikini) just "acidentally bumps into the Crimson Phoenix:

"Oh, I'm sorry" she says, looking at him with those eyes that say "God, I'm Soooo hot for you, please notice me"

My name is Lari, What's yours??

(In the background, a Mini RD dissapears into the shadows)

[Crimson Phoenix]

My name's Anthony, silly bi@tch...remember I already dumped you because you were so dumb? And you still wear that pink thong? Ahhh well...*goes away, shaking head, still wondering what he is to do to get the queen's heart or make the voices in his head stop*

[Xebsball]

Volcano Retarded...

Dont play the smartass here, I am the ninja on this story and im sending a geisha to seduce you and kill you

[Royal Dragon]

DA M MM, He didn't take the bait!!!

The Emperor kicks a Mini RD across the room (good thing they are durable)

Ahhhhhh, he must like the more intallectual type!! FIND ME A LIBRARIAN!!!!

[ewallace]

I know you didn't just say "doink'n" :)

[Royal Dragon]

Funny the censor missed that one too!!

[Volcano Admim]

Xebsball... you obviosly sout american kid should respect i come from tough neighbouhood. I bet you froze banana to play with on you refrigerator.

Episode II - Sub-episode 3
Act 1.

Leonidas army camp is on a depression, surrounded by hills becouse its cold so there its hot and tight like they like.
Its night and Leonidas and his army are obviouly engaging ****sexual party activites as history says about Sparta where man have special care for each other on their camp wich have pink tends. There is disco balls on the ceiling of their rooms.
White ninja Volcano - who is using leather ninja outfit with holes so his butt is exposed so he become one with enviroment - is impacient, waiting, watching, feeling... he feels.
And the perfect moment come out when dancing queen 70s hit start playing - the moment -
its when Leo comander of forces looks for his refrigerator - on a isolated area from the happy happy party -
Volcano follows him, very few notice him now, only some say "oh hes got a nice ass", "i want a piece of that" and "i want to see him getting a boner while guitar wailing on background".
Volcano keeps on following and now about to pull out a totally sweet ninja dagger...

end of Act 1.

[Royal Dragon]

"White ninja Volcano - who is using leather ninja outfit with holes so his butt is exposed so he become one with enviroment - is impacient, waiting, watching, feeling... he feels"


Reply]
What??, THIS can't be, Volcano Admin is not EVIL, he's a SICKO!!!!!

My god, I'll be le laughing stock of evil if any of the other evil Emperor's find out about this!!

Minni Meeeeeeeeeee, Mini Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! Get over here NOWWWWWWWW! The Emperor yells.

Several Mini Me's appear as the Emperor never named any of them, so they ALL answer if they hear him calling.

The Emperor explains the dire situation

I want you guys to go an KILL Volcano Admin before he embarasses us in any way. A good image is important to Evil!!!

Oh, and FOR GOD SAKE, put some PANTS on him before you kill him!!!

The Mini RD's scamper off on thier latest mission..................

[wushu chik]

Queen Wushu Chik walks to Crimson and hands him a letter. He slowly looks at the Queen while she draws her hands from his, and steps back to walk away.

"What does it say?", Crimson asks. The Queen just smiles and replies "Read it, it will make you happy". She steps in closer to him, and kisses him on the lips ever so softly. "I will be expecting you later to talk, if you choose to", she says to him. With that, she turns and briskly walks to her quarters.

[Royal Dragon]

Queen Chickie Poo opens the door to her quarters, and about 5 Mini RD's drop over her with the sheets off her bed, effectively useing them as a big net. Trapped and helpless, she is dragged kicking and screamming to the window where several more Mini RD's bash her on the head to knock her out and keep her silent.

The queen is then dragged off into the night by the Mini RD's

Mean wile back at the EVIL Palace another group of Mini RD's is dragging a sheet up the tower stairs with a fair maiden wrapped up inside, kidnapped at random from the neighboring villiage.

One of them delivers a letter written by Chickie Poo to Crimson. The two nod and exchange knowing looks. The Mini RD is rewarded for quick and opertunistic thinking and switching the letters on sudden and short notice. From this day forward he will be known as "Big" Mini Me and will be in charge of all the other Mini Mee's

A short time later, the first band of Mini Me's deliver Queen Chickie Poo to the Emreror.

Dress her for dinner He commands, and CHAIN her to the dinner table!!!

The Emperor retires to his chambers to prepare for tonights meal.

[wushu chik]

RD you *******. They won't know about me for a while, and I will be stuck here with the likes of YOU! UGH....what a nightmare this is turning out to be!

~Wen~

[Xebsball]

lol Volcano never finished his killing so i can continue from his story

As Volcano was about to take his ninja dagger...
... a geisha, for years trained by Xebs ninja clan on the art of seducing and killing touches Volcano on his left butt cheek.
Volcano is paralysed with fear thinking now he must have been caught by Leonidas happy guards.
The geisha now touches both cheeks with both hands, massaging him. He starts sweating... he denies it, but his feelings are real, for a second he forgets he is a killer and is taken to a shiny happy place in his head.
But then he comes back to reality, a move he must make. Turn around fast and kill with one strike whoever is touching his behind then fastly attack Leonidas before he notes Volcanos presence.
As he turns the geisha is faster: her fingernails, filled with poison scratch Volcanos butt. This is a lethal one, its a matter of seconds before the victim dies. But it doesnt stop Volcanos motion and determination, the geisha have her throat cut.
As the geisha falls prey of the sharp blade, Volcano turns for his next target... but his vision instantelly gets all red, he loses his breath and colapses before reaching Leonidas. Volcano is dead... and have some gay scratches on his butt LOL

[Ryu]

Gotta put training on hold while I save Queen Wushu.


Ryu gently takes in the night air. With each breath, the heightened sense of his being is drawn to the center of his mind. A cool breeze washes over his skin...
There is a sudden shudder. It is a premonition of helplessness and humiliation (we all know how Ryu feels about THAT stuff! ;) )
He stands, letting his red bandana flow gently off his muscular shoulders. Upon it rests the kanji of a new and strange style. Sekkendo...

"It's her..." he murmurs to the night wind. "I can feel her."
Ryu's eyes shoot open. "My Queen!" Wushu's head bodyguard is fast to action. He hurries from the mountain sides of which he meditates and trains with grappling dummies and other opponents. His eyes are fierce. A fire burns deeply within him now as a name is spit from his lips like a sour piece of white rice.
"RD..." he hisses, "you have threatened her for the last time."

Ryu hurries on, his strides carrying him nearer and nearer to RD's evil lair.
Once there, Ryu scans his surroundings. Things are unusually quiet.
"She's in here somewhere," he says to himself. "I'd best hurry."

Ryu sneaks past two mini RD's who apparently are midget wrestling over a last piece of chicken leg. Silently, like the night itself, Ryu ascends RD's evil tower.
Voices can soon be heard in one of the rooms.

"Not hungry, Chickie Poo? RD has prepared this meal especially for you!"

Ryu presses himself to the wall beside the door. He listens attentively.

"Now eat!" the voice says again.
Ryu moves into action. Bursting into the room, he sees two of RD's guards dragging Queen Wushu to a diabolical table of left over buffalo wings! One of them carries a large chain to fasten her down with. It's not something Ryu will let happen...

"Prepare!" Ryu roars as he shoots low onto the chain carrying opponent! RD's minion falls quickly, and Ryu establishes a quick mount to pulverize the kidnapper into submission.

"Cursed Sekkendo practitioner! We shall see who is the better fit fighter!" the other screams. He let's loose of Wushu, and attacks the vulnerable Ryu who is still on the ground! Not wanting to be caught on the ground in a multiple opponent fight, Ryu quickly leaps up with the chain in hand. He whips it into the face of the oncoming adversary, sending him reeling to the ground below. Using the heavy chain as a makeshift kyoketsu-shogei (ninja rope and ring) Ryu wraps up the legs of the kidnapper and heaves him onto a table; shattering it upon impact!
continued.....

[Ryu]

"Ryu!" the Queen exclaims as she runs to his open arms.

"My Queen," Ryu pants, "did they harm you??"

"No. I'm fine. It's okay, Ryu, don't worry."

"Let's go." Ryu says with a heavy voice.

Just then....a sound startles them. Ryu stands in front of the Queen as to shield her from any hidden attacker.
From the shadows, his arms crossed, and his eyes filled with an immense hatred, steps Crimson Phoenix. Ryu's eyes fill with surprise and saddness.

"Crimson..." he breathes. "No..."

"And why not?" Crimson asks. "This meeting between us was destined since the beginning of time. I have come to my decision, Ryu..." he suddenly drops down into a fighting stance. "You must die."

"Crimson! Snap out of it!" Ryu calls to him, but there is no reply.

Crimson smiles and ****s his head to one side. "I no longer answer to your calls, Ryu, you pathetic weakling. This fight shall determine which of us is truly the best."

"Let the Queen leave this castle. I will stay and fight you if you do..." Ryu nods.

"Ryu, No!" cries Wushu. "Crimson, the letter! Didn't you read the letter!"

"I no longer take orders from you, Wushu. But I am a man of my duty. I will not harm you. Leave us. This is between me...and Ryu!"


:D

[Gabriel]

Gasp!!

Such melodrama! :eek:

[Xebsball]

Xebsball is, from a distance, with a telescope, watching the scene of Ryu, Crimson and the Queen...
his eyes go red, he drools...

[wushu chik]

Ryu, Crimson, I cannot have you two fighting over me. It's not fair for you two, nor is it fair for me. I love you both, but I can't have you both, and THIS is NOT going to solve anything. I am not LEAVING HERE until this is settled.

[Xebsball]

At the top of a mountain he is...
Xebs can see they are having some sort of argument, but even though he is a ninja he cant hear them from this distance.
Now turning the telescope a to the west...

He sees it now, an army of mini-RDs, 20, maybe 30 of them... and they march with a war machine - a TREBUCHE!! (as seen on the Discovery Chanel... or was it the National Graphic Chanel...)

In this moment when time seems to freeze Xebs almost forgets to swallow his drool, when action he decides must he take - for the army marches towards the area where the Queen is now located. Warned of the incoming danger the Queen and her bodyguards must be!!! Saved from the danger so shall them too be!! (nice sentence huh)

Its matter of minutes before the army reach them... Xebs puts his black ninja pants back on (what, i was just relaxing dude) and proceeds to run as fast as a ninja can be.

[Xebsball]

The wind is on his side, he can make it, a ninja never fails to deliver his package (?)

Puff puff puff, tired...

Ryu is starting to take the JKD non-telegraphic fingerjabbing stance when Xebs interupts them:

"Queen! Ryu! Crimson! We must run away from here, an army of mini-RDs aproaches! Take the way of the northeast, where we shall find the route to escape!"

The Queen and Ruy agree imediatelly, it is not time to fight and die!
Crimson stares at Ryu unpatientely, anger his heart still carries. But he loves his ass more than that to stay and become RDs farm pigs food. Still not very happy with the situtation it takes only a second and he decides to follow as well.

The four than reach for the horses nearby, 3 horses they are. In one goes Crimson, another Ryu and the other Xebs and the Queen becouse Xebs deserve it and he looks **** good on ninja clothes.

To the northeast they go - the mini-RDs wont reach them...

[Royal Dragon]

First off, Ryu is lieing, as I had her chained to my dinner table before he got there, that and I had her changed into a nice dinner dress to boot. He was correct in reporting the fact "Chickie Poo" would not eat. I don't know whats with her, I have all of her favorites. I spent countless $$ on spies just to find out what her favorite foods are and now she won't eat!!!!

"Chickie Poo" the Emperor says, "Do you have ANY idea what I went through to invite you to dinner today? The least you could do is eat!!!"

Just then Ryu comes BURSTING through the door like a Hokey commic book supper hero. The Emperor half expected him to have a cape and everything. How pathetic the Emperor thought.

The Emperor remained seated, and slowly put a fork full of food in his mouth, seemingly un concerned of Ryu's violent intent towards him (As he knew Crimsion was still there from a secret meeting he had just had with him).

Several Mini RD's entered the room and took positions around the Emperor.

"So Ryu" The Emperor says," What brings you here?" Ryu looks confused. "Why don't you sit and have dinner with us"?

Ryu being a comic book super hero type declines. and challenges the Emperor while at the same time tries to un chain the Queen.
The Emperor just laughs and says calmly "Ok, be that way, BIG Mini Rd, you may dispose of him as you please" and the violence ensues. Mean wile the Emperor contines his meal as if nothing was going on despite the violence being conducted literaly feet from his table.

(On a side note, Royal Dragon did something to "Big" Mini Rd, and he is now a little bigger than all the other Mini RD's)

Crimson enters the scene, and it closes as Ryu describe before.


Next scene: a troop of Mini Rd's finds the body of Volcano Admin, he is barley alive.

Since their mission is to kill him, finding him almost dead sent them into a state of confusion (they are not too bright). How can they kill him if he's already dead? Should they put some pants on him? He already had some on, they thought he was supposed to be naked. But the pants he had on had a huge hole in the butt. "Now what," they thought, wile arguing with each other about what to do.

Not knowing what to do, they dragg him off into the woods and bring him to a mystical healer. They figure the best thing to do is heal him first, and fix the holes in his pants wile he is healing. Then, they can put his now holess pants back on him and THEN kill him as ordered!!!! ( I think ther must be some genetic degrigation in the cloneing process :rolleyes: )

It all made perfect sense to the Mini RD's who were expecting a commondation when they get home.

[Ryu]

Sorry. The script has already been written out. No table, no dinner dress, and no "hokeyness"! :mad: Who you calling a hokey superhero??.... well.... actually it's kinda true. :(

Anyway, our film seems like its ending quickly. Take off where Xeb left off and finish it.

(and finish it semi good :D It was starting to get cool. I have a feeling Ryu and Crimson are going to be forced to fight together against a common foe :D )

Ryu

[KC Elbows]

KC ELBOWS steps in for his long awaited cameo appearance.

KC ELBOWS: What's up?


CUT TO XEB AND THE TREBUCHET OF DOOM!

[ewallace]

KC ELBOWS steps in for his long awaited cameo appearance
Who the hell would wait for that?

[KC Elbows]

I've got people.

[ewallace]

Lemme guess...those people would be...
C. Lekbows
Cow K. Bels
KC Blows-E
C.K. Wobles

[KC Elbows]

:D
C.K. Wobles happens to think I'm quite talented. In fact, he feels my cameo was the best part of this movie, and thought that, in general, except for my cameo, this movie lacked a strong character that speaks for the albinoesque members of the viewing audience.

[guohuen]

Alternate ending.
As the confrontation is about to begin there is a knock on the door and the goofy guohuen enters with more chicken wings and cardboard pizza. There is a pause and they all pound his baby face into the ground, eat the food and take his lunch money. The ever observant Zebsball laughs.

[Ryu]

LMAO@KC Elbows

[Crimson Phoenix]

Indeed, Ryu, we will fight our sworn enemy together as brothers for Queen's sake. But we shall eventually duel to settle this whole affair...it's written, our destiny is to face each other...
*dramatic music*

[Leonidas]

.......Meanwhile back at General Leonidas' base camp. "Is this Volcano Admin character sent to assassinate me finally dead". "To think Royal Dragon sent someone to assassinate me". "Little does he know that his palace cook is really a spy for me". "He warned me of Royal Dragons stupid attempt at my life". In preparation for the assassin i hired a group of gay actors to pretend to be soldiers in my evil army". I knew that if i could unlock this assassin's ****sexual tendencies i could catch him off guard and destroy him". "The real men in my evil army are still marching toward RD's city and it wont belong before i get my evil revenge". "One question though". "Who is the soldier who finally exterminated this nuisance"........................"What do you mean you dont know"........................."So you mean it wasn't one of my men"............No? Then who? Find this...person and bring them to me" "I have an offer for them" I'm an equal opportunity employer afterall"..........................

[Leonidas]

D@mn, how could i forget the evil laugh.

[Royal Dragon]

See, that is why you will never win, your just not evil enough. No you are only PART evil, about 30% evil in fact. "I" on the other hand am 100% evil and you will never compete. As we speak, I have both regular armys, AND many, many units of Mini Me's ready to ambush your entire military force.

Oh, and I'm about to execute your "Cook" Batman style by dropping him slowly into a vat of hot oil or maybe hot wax, whichever is cheaper, in an elaborate but hokey scene that would have any fan of the original "Batman" serirs in senimental tears.

Ryu says "Sorry. The script has already been written out. No table, no dinner dress, and no "hokeyness"!"

reply]
Oh, Don't any of you give me greife about the dinner dress and table thing, all Evil Emperors are suposed to do that, just because Ryu got caught daydreamming and I got Chikie poo because of it, is no reason to denie me my dinner with the beautiful girl chained to my table. Every bad guy gets to do that, and I'm not letting go of that one!!!!!
Besides, how would "Ryu" know what was happeneing anyway, wasn't he watching Mini Me's "Midget wrestling" over Chicken?? GOD how pathetic.

Hey, "Captain America"!! Don't forget to get your "haaaaaiirrr" done for the final "Bbaaaaaatttle"!!!!:rolleyes:

Royal Dragon taunts Ryu for a few minutes as if he was a charecter form "Space Balls the movie" Nanna Nanna Poo Poo!!!! he says wile thumbing his nose in Ryu's general direction then turning around and wiggling his as s at him like a school yard bully might do (Because all Evil Emperors are just grown up schoolyard bullies you know)

[KC Elbows]

CUT TO GENE CHING, HIS FINGER HOVERING OVER A LARGE RED BUTTON LABELLED "DELETE THREAD NOW!"

GENE CHING: Soon, very soon.
MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA----ERRKRK!!!!!-
[SPITS OUT PIECE OF CHICKEN BONE TEMPORARILY LODGED IN THROAT]
Where was I? Oh yes....
MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

[Royal Dragon]

I got another fair maiden in my tower you know, I swiped her form the villiage yesterday, are you going to come save her??

Make sure you stop off at the villiage tailor first, I hear they got a sale on TIGHTS!!!! Maybe you can even get a big "R" to wear on your chest to boot!!!

Muahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Royal Dragon]

Hey, he can't delete us, if he does I'M marching my army right over to www.martialartsmart.com and taking over!!!!!

[Ryu]

"Royal Dragon taunts Ryu for a few minutes as if he was a charecter form "Space Balls the movie" Nanna Nanna Poo Poo!!!! he says wile thumbing his nose in Ryu's general direction then turning around and wiggling his as s at him like a school yard bully might do (Because all Evil Emperors are just grown up schoolyard bullies you know)"

LOL :D


Another fair maiden?? Oh YEAH, I forgot about that! Uh... gotta go save her too...... oh wait, gotta help Crimson Phoenix defeat the monster......oh wait, gotta make sure Queen Wushu is safe too.... :( what's a superhero to do?


I ........ *noticing the butt wiggling* HEY! :mad: my 2nd grade bully used to do that to me!! I'll kill you, you wimpy Royal Buttface! *checking hair*

Ryu

[wushu chik]

Well, I am sick and TIRED of being kidnapped, not that I don't LOVE the way Ryu saves me! But, STOP ALREADY. Have your fun with the other "damsel in distress" but LEAVE ME ALONE. Let me have my love triangle, and let Ryu, Crimson, and Xebs kill everyone of the bad guys...just stop messing with ME. For god's sake, I AM A QUEEN, I WILL HAVE YOU ALL beheaded!! :D

~Wen~

[Royal Dragon]

But you are an OUSTED Queen my deary. I am in controll becaue i BRIBE my underlings inot loving me. YOU just deman loyalty with no payoff. Insetad of riding on the backs of your people, your always trying to HELP them. That is why "I" rule, and YOU Drool (Notice the bad TV/Movie bit theme going on here?)

Also, I am smart to always have a back up plan. See at the next Evil Emperor convention, I HAVE a fair maiden in my tower. I relly want you, 'cause yur HOT and I want more!!!! BUT, the "Other" Fair maiden keeps me from loosing face infront of all my peers.

I mean, Leonidas and I still share beers at the Evil conventions, just because we have armys facing eachother the rest of the time does not mean we don't kick back a few from time to time. What would he think If I didn't have a fair Maiden in my tower?? He'd be laughing at me and I'd be the embarassment of the evil club!!! So, I'll just have to chain HER to my dinner table tonight because "Ryubie" stole you from me.

Also, If you would just come live in my tower, I wouldn't be always trying to kidnap you as "I" would already have you.


Hey, has anyone seen my cat Mr. Bigglesworth yet? He's bald, and needs his blanky at night 'cause he has no fur of his own to keep him warm :(

[wushu chik]

RD, I have Mr. Bigglesworth. He likes it at my castle more! IT"S WARMER! And, he get's to snuggle with me and Ryu every night in bed! So :p

~Wen~

[Ryu]

:D Now THAT'S the Wushu we all know and love.


RD........ I didn't want to have it come to this...

I stole Mr. Bigglesworth. He is fine, but if you want him back you MUST release the captured maiden from your tower. It's a fair trade. (See? Pushed too far even the best superheroes can resort to extreme measures.)

(You can just tell the evil guys at the Convention that you KILL all the maidens you capture, and THATS why you don't seem to ever have anyone in your tower. They'll think you are the MOST evil emperor around, and everyone's happy. :) What'dya say?)

Ryu

[Royal Dragon]

I have YOUR castle, where did you get another one??

Oh yeah, RETUREN MY CAT OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Royal Dragon]

Kill my Maidens?? No that's frowned apon, how about this, i'll give you a whole battalion of Mini RD's for your very own!!

[Ryu]

You want the cat back? :mad: Release that maiden!

[Ryu]

hmmm tempting, but.... no. Wait I got it. Tell them that you are so evil that you keep your maidens prisoner in the astral plain! That's why they never appear to be in your castle. The astral plain is a REAL scary place. Can we say "EVIL" emperor?? :D

Ryu

[Ryu]

ROTF........ the last battle has turned into the battle of "peaceful diplomacy."


:D

[Royal Dragon]

Come on man!!! All that astrial plane nonesense was created by US Evil doers to confuse the "Goodie, Goodies"

No, my offer stands, Mini Me's for the cat, or the girl dies and I kidnap another one for the tower.

[Ryu]

two can play at that game, Dragon! :mad: Release the girl or MR. BIGGLESWORTH dies!


My final offer...... Talk to the village girl, make the tower look nice, have her family stay in the castle free of charge, and give me only 15 Mini RDs. Then if anyone asks just "say" she's your prisoner. (In reality she'll be living in better living conditions, etc.) (kinda like a beauty and the beast kind of setup.) Mr. Bigglesworth will be returned PLUS I will include a warm blanket for him free of charge just to show there's no hard feelings.
That offer stands, Dragon! Our government will not be lenient to..... oh wait... wrong story... ahem. Anyway there you go!

Ryu

[Royal Dragon]

This is a Kung Fu movie, so I am bound by the forces that be to give 18 Mini RD's as 18 is a tried and true Kung Fu number.

We will meet at the house of the maidens parents tomorrow, and you can accompamy us to the palace to inspect their new living quarters. There, I will take Mr. Bigglesworth. At the same time the 18 Mini Rd's will be given to you, with the proper ceramony (Theyre are big on that stuff) and the deal will be closed.

See you first thing in the morning.

Oh, Leave Queen Chicki Poo home, as the site of her stirs my heart, and being evil, I may not be able to controll my urges to capture her.:D

[wushu chik]

*Sobbing* Ryu, how could you! To take away Mr. Bigglesworth, and give him back to HIM. That's horrible. He loves it here so much. You MUST KILL RD. That's the ONLY sollution. For us to ever be free of this, and HAPPY, you have to KILL HIM NOW. PLEASE RYU, PLEASE!

[Royal Dragon]

Kill me and the girl dies, and so does her family.

[wushu chik]

RD, you are really starting to get under MY hair. Don't do it, because you don't understand how EVIL I can get! You want to keep pushing the issue? We will see exactly who has the last laugh. I for one know exactly what you hold precious in your life, and I HAVE HIM...so don't threaten me or the man I love, otherwise, you will be certainly SORRY!

[Royal Dragon]

Just let you CAptian America Boyfeind go throuhg with the exchange "HE" came up with, and everything will be all cool and fuzzy like. No need for hostilites and violence.

I know you feel left out over not getting to come with, but I have my urges you know, and being evil means I tend to act on them. You know as well as I do that if you were there I'd forget all about the cat and try to capture you, so if you stay home, I get my cat, you and Captian Ryu get some more renforcements, and the girl in the tower gets to live for free WITH HER family in a life of luxury.

It's a win, win for everyone, so don't mess it up trying to be such a goodie goodie will ya?

[wushu chik]

You are really starting to get me angry. YOU ARE NOT GETTING MR. BIGGLESWORTH! NO WAY, NO HOW.

Let the girl go, or YOU WILL DIE, and I WILL DO IT MYSELF.

[Royal Dragon]

How about YOU, go Doink yourself. The deal is between me and Ryu. Your really not relevant here.

Oh, just so you know, since I took your palace, I had the bed room redecorated HA!!!

Ryu, you need to controll your Chickie poo, she's going to blow the deal and get the hostages Killed. I thought she cared about the people. Now she wants to let me Kill an innocent Fair Maiden, for MY cat? Although I respect the Evil in her plan, It won't get anyone anywhere.

Now, I'm a nice guy, and I have no problem sacraficing some extra Mini Me's to get my cat back, and Ryu seems to undersatnd what is at stake here so so long as we have a deal with no "Funny Buisness" we can close this deal tomorrow.

[Leonidas]

What is this the friggin Young and The Restless?

[Royal Dragon]

It's more a combo of Days of our Lives, Space Balls, Ausintin Powers and according to Volacno Admin a Gay commic strip.:eek:

[wushu chik]

Whatever it is, it's hilariously melodramatic!!! And, I still want to know if Crimson read the letter!!!

[Royal Dragon]

What happened to our deal? I waited and waited and waited, but you never showed, What gives??

Are you giving me my Cat back or what!?

[Ryu]

My apologies, Mr. Dragon. Yes I am ready to close the deal between our two groups. I have 4 large warriors with me too for precautionary reasons only of course. However no threat is intended. :) As my Queen has given her concerns, I would like to add but one more aspect to our agreement.
Here is a written pledge I have written up that states upon recieving your signature that you will no longer do your evil in the vacinity of 2000 miles of Queen Wushu or her Kingdom. Upon my signature I hold that I will no longer foil your plans or destroy your Mini RD's so long as you keep your evil reign out of the kindom of Wushu. The pledge is written in full and will become known as the "RD/Ryu Mini Treaty."

As promised, here is Mr. Bigglesworth, and I gladly accept your payment of 18 mini RD's, and have spoken with your new castle guest and her family. (They are very pleased with the living conditions.)

Thank you once again, and it was a pleasure doing business with you.

*Both parties shake hands and go on their way.*



There we have it. The power of political diplomacy in action. :D
I shoulda run for congress!

Ryu

[Leonidas]

You notice that we almost took a trip to fairyland when Volcano tried to add his 2 pennies to the story. What are you trying to pull Admin. Soldiers wearing leather pants with arse holes cut out? Theres no place for that in any kind of story, maybe in the films you like but thats beside the point :D . Are you trying to send off 'hints' to everyone about your
uh..................preferences. ;) :D

You have to admit, I made a pretty good save. :p nah nah

[Royal Dragon]

Hey, did you ever find the body?? My Mini me's never returned with confirmation of the kill either, what gives?

Oh, by the way, there is a meeting of the evil club local 262 on Saturday. We are showing off our weapons of mass evil. It's sorta like an evil science fair. I garuentee mine will beat Youuuuurs!!!! You'l be crying when I walk out with the first prize blue ribbon!!!

Ryu, Thank you for my cat back I hope you enjoy your Mini Me's, rhey can be quite commical at times. Remeber they eat alot for their size so feed them well.

Now so far as this contract. I hope you don't expect me to just give Queen Chickie Poo back all the terittory I now controll, do you? I know she only has a little bit of her kingdom left, but I worked hard to set this up, and I deserve to keep it.

I tell you what, I'll put YOU in charge of Chickie poo's terittory. You will be the local "governer" there. That gives you a seat on my board and a voice in my councle. How's that??

[Leonidas]

Duuuude, i am so there. I'm gonna win first prize of course and if you ever do get the blue ribbon its because i went easy on ya and let ya win. See, i have a heart too, i occasional feel sorry for losers like you.

Dont worry about Volcano either. I did the usual, you know, display the body on a stake as an example, give the old this is a warning to anyone who dears oppose me, blah blah blah, yap yap, you know the rest.

[Royal Dragon]

Oh good, I'm really embarassed about that one. Next time I send someone to kill you I'll check his cedentials better. I feel really bad about it. I sent a team of Mini Me's out to stop him as soon as I discovered his true nature, and they never returned. I don't know what happned to them.

I'm just glad "Someone" Killed him, he was an embarassment to me, and evil in general. :(

[wushu chik]

"Ahhhh, FINALLY Peace and Quiet. No more RD and his retarded little Mini RD's trying to kidnap me. No more Ryu saving the kingdom. No more hairless little cat running around my castle. We can finally kick back and enjoy life a little."

Queen Wushu Chik sits back on her plush sofa, enjoying her life, dreaming of ways to regain control of her kingdom, thanks to RD. But she remembers something.

"Crimson, oh no. He and Ryu were supposed to battle. D@MN THEM."

The Queen runs around the castle screaming for Ryu, into each room, but finds him nowhere. She runs into the library, still Ryu is nowhere to be found. She throws herself to the floor and starts crying. "Ryu, my beloved, you can't leave me."

She lies there crying and thinking. "This is all RD's doing. If he would have never gotten ahold of Crimson, this NEVER would have happened." She storms down the stairs into the kitchen, where the 18 mini RD's were happily sitting there, eating. "All of you must come with me" she yells. The 18 mini RD's jump from their chairs and line up behind her. "We are going to save Ryu and Crimson from themselves, and we are going to KILL RD once and for all."

The 19 of them storm out of the castle, to begin their quest.

[dezhen2001]

wow - a lot has happened since i was last here :D
Any chance of me making a comeback? :D

david

[Leonidas]

Sure dezhen, you can be second in command of my army. We go around destroying stuff, kicking ass, taking names, pillaging.......that type of stuff. Were going to RD's castle to trash him and his army and then to the City. You get health benefits and a free yearly dental exam. It can't get any sweeter than that, come on man, dont go to that chump RD's side. Hes the losing side and Queen 'Chickie Poo' as they like to call her is washed up. Now she's just running around with her tail between her legs confused and i'm gonna totally rule her City, or i might just take what i want and trash her place too. Thats my offer, theres nothing to think about Dez, join me or i'm gonna totally make an example out of you. We can rule together. (evil laugh) (fade to black) CUT! (end of scene)

[dezhen2001]

read episoide 3 ;)

david