f*%k not smoking

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

last night i got done working out around 8 and was having a cigerette on the porch and talking with my 2 year old. she looks up at me and says "i smoke too when get older" i said you will NEVER fu ckin smoke . .. ever . . . it can kill you. she said, "naaaa, i get older first." so i said fu ck it daddy don't smoke no more.

and man i'm wiggin out. bad. this is literally the first time i have ever went more than 12 hours without smoking in about 12 years. fu cking kids.

the worst part is that nothing feels finished ... everything feels undone. you eat . . smoke a cigerette, fu ck .. . smoke a cigerette, do all the sales email .. ..smoke a cigerette, clean up the dog sh it . .. smoke a cigerette ... work out ... smoke a cigerette.

i'm gonna go ... . ASSDFKASNCXMNAHFIAHWEHNZCM.VJKLAHDUILFHA;HWEBNJHDJ LHAJLHMDBSAJUFGLHVKASDKFJD;ASKFUIOPAWJE;KJSDKFJAIO PUJK;FNCKVHAIO;SUWEK;J;!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

[red5angel]

sounds like you need to workout a little ;)

[KC Elbows]

Think about something you don't smoke a cigarette with. Like crack. Or flammable inhallants.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

im gonna work out as soon as i get home. only problem is that i look at the clock once an hour and only 10 minutes has passed. :(

[red5angel]

Stick with it man, its for the kids!!!!!!

I have to shake my head when my buddy stands there and smokes in front o fhis 2 and 4 year old. Or when my wifes mom denies that her chain smoking has anything to do with why her two children now smoke!

[ewallace]

I've quit smoking. I still will have a cigarette every once in a while when I'm at a bar. Maybe this will help:

Think to yourself "Do not be a *****. Cigarettes are not stronger than my will".

When you get the urge to smoke, go for a run. You will not want one after you get done running. You will also see a drastic increase in energy and physical performance after a few weeks of not smoking and doing a lot of running.

It's only hard for the first 2 days.

Do NOT go drinking for a few weeks. That will definitely screw everything up.

Do not cheat. Just because you have gone 4 days without a smoke does not mean that you should be rewarded with one.

Do not rely on the patch, or zyban. The only thing that will make you quit is YOU wanting to quit.

I know this may all seem like common sense but it has worked for me. I hope it helps in some way.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

red ... i have never smoked in the house, but i guess smoking outside in front of her aint much better for settin an example.

ewallace . . i been doin some of that stuff already. like i always think about that raspy burning feeling you get when you drank and smoked way too much the night before, and you light that first cig the next day. you know the sensation that actually makes you sit back and think for a second about what smoking is actually doing to your lungs. of course half a cig later the feeling goes away and you no longer care. i have also called to talk to my two year old twice today. i like the pu ssy suggestion too.

ill never run, but i have been doing pushups in small sets when i get a craving. only problem with it is that i used to do pushups before every cig at work when i was trying to cut back a little while ago, so sometimes it makes the craving worse.

the drinking is a funny thing as im really pushing becoming an alcholoic. i actually posted on here that i was gonna quit for one month about 6 weeks ago. i made it 3 weeks and 5 days before i got some pretty bad fu cking news and said fu ck it. yesterday was the assigned day to stop drinking on weekdays, but the cig thing wasn't planned at all. it should be fun trying to quit drinking and smoking at the same time. im rambaling and making little sense but the point i think was taht i actually made it a month after i posted that i was gonna do it on here. it just makes me feel like the goal is more solid or less passing if its posted on a public forum where others have read about it. its pretty lame, but otherwise i can feel my motivation dissapating like a cloud of smoke. gently in the air. dancing in small circles as it streatches out of existance. pretty pretty smoke.


i really hope your right about the first two days thing cause i can't keep goin like this man ... . im really fu ckin out of it. i have been smokin since i was 7. its a staple in my life at this point. fu ck i was smoking half a pack a day by 12 or 13 at the latest. pack a day since 15.

monkey.

[Nexus]

If you are going to smoke in front of your kids, you had mine as well offer them one while you are at it.

[Serpent]

GDA, every time you crave a cigarette, think of your daughter. See how happy and healthy and innocent and beautiful she is. Then picture her dying of cancer, gasping for breath with crippling emphysema, skeletal and broken. And remind yourself that it was YOUR fault she ended up like that.

Then do something else and **** the cigarettes. They'll kill her. You wanna be a weak ass punk, slave to a ****ing plant? Think what that tells your daughter about her father.

How's that for some motivation?

[Aramus]

Any time you get a cravng, I'll volunteer to come over and kick you in the dong. Feel free to try to stop me, although I'll be motivated by your kid to kick you in the dong, so I'll have a pretty strong will to do this.

Peace and good luck.

OH yea the, "this isn't stronger than me" thing should help too.

[awakenwired]

I used to be in the distribution business. And knew alot of Cigarette distributers. None of them smoked. I started smoking at a super early age too. But I've kicked the habit for over a year. And I too have quite drinking as well. This is how I kicked the smoking habit, I'll be as painfully truthfull as possible.

I went on the patch AND the gum. Simultaneoulsy. I took the strongest patch, cut it in half, my wife got one half i got the other, she hated the gum, but i used it. After 3 days things went well and I didn't want to keep buying the expensive patches, so i stopped those and stuck to Nicotine gum. For the next 3 days I noticed i was struggling, popping in gum left and right. The gum helped but i thought i was getting addicted to the gum now. SO I stopped that. Basically going cold turkey. I was a week into it, and thought i was over the hump. I was SORELY mistaken. Because i was using a crutch during that first 6 days.

For me the first 3 days were the worst. I almost thought I was going to kill someone. women have commited murder during PMS from what I've heard, if that's the case, there's gotta be some legal case pending right now for murder due to Cig withdrawal.
I didn't think the agony was ever going to go away. How could it? It was like: "This is it. This is my life now, And i'm just going to have to learn how to deal with the agony for the rest of my firggen life." I took some time off work and zoned infront of my computer day and night. Trying not to get into too many situations where I would get frustrated and upset. The only thing i could think of was to zone in front of the computer. After the Day 3 things got better, I was still a bit shaky though and knew I wasn't fully out of danger. I kept up my anti-social/hermit behavior for a few more days.

When I finally went into week two, the physical hell was nearly gone. Cigarettes were on my mind 24/7, but at least homicide wasn't on the top of my agenda anymore. Week 3 i thought about cigs a bit more less, and had learned that I didn't need to smoke after every little thing, and began to only miss the smokes on just certain times of the day rather then all day. By week 4 I knew that I had probably accomplished the hardest thing I will ever have to endure in my entire life. AND now that I have done that I could probably do dam near anything! Hell maybe I'll take up KUNG FU!

It takes alot of courage to go that first day. Most smokers cannot even do that. After that 3rd day the physical pain really should be gone. What ever you are feeling right now you gotta rembember bro ITS ONLY TEMPORARY! Do what ever you have to do to get through it. Don't get out of bed that day, stay under the covers if thats what it takes. Remember what's at STAKE and do what ever it TAKES to get throught the first FEW days. YOU CAN DO IT! You HAVE to DO IT! Always remember man its TEMPORARY. The pain WILL go away. its TEMPORARY and it CAN be beaten.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

nexus is right ... i just need to figure out her brand.

[BrentCarey]

Well, I don't smoke or have any other chemical addictions, so I can't claim to begin to understand. I do fully support the decision to quit though. I respect anyone that can quit, I have disgust for anyone that doesn't try.

Three stories may or may not help:

First story: I once had a student who was an alcoholic, smoked pot, was addicted to cocaine, heroine, and possibly meth, and smoked cigarettes. After he started training, he started quitting his bad habits one by one. He says that heroine was pretty hard, but unquestionably it was hardest to quit smoking.

He kicked his habits by working his butt off. He said that sometimes the only thing that kept him from lapsing was the fact that he was too tired to get up. For me to say he worked hard at kung fu would be an understatement. He was an inspiration. I think about him every time I don't feel like training.

Second story: Also, my father-in-law has smoked for well over 30 years. A couple of years ago he quit. Six months later, for some reason he started up again. I can't even begin to understand why. Why, after six months, would you start up again? I think it is actually harder for him to quit now that he has been defeated once already.

Last story: When I was in the military, I had a close friend who smoked. We met in basic training. Somehow he managed to maintain his smoking habit all the way through basic training. All in all, I spent about 2 years with this guy. He smoked like a chimney the whole time. Generally, he and I were the two fastest runners wherever we went. We were running 2 miles in the low end of the 10-11 minute range.

When we would run the 2-mile test, he would generally stay about 30-50 feet in front of me. No matter what I did, I couldn't catch him. It made me mad that he smoked like he did, and I still couldn't catch him. About 1/4 mile from the finish line, he would stop, pull over, and vomit. I would run right past him. Then, he would wipe his chin and sprint to the finish line just in front of me - every time, about once a month for 2 years. I never did beat him.

He's dying from lung cancer now at the age of 32.


-Brent

[remo]

GDA,

Hang tough, buddy.

[diego]

GDA, ive been smoking pretty much since 7 to, i dont much now and when i do i enjoy it, but i shouldnt cuz all those years...who knows what kind of tears and holes are in my lungs!; wich cant be good for training; you read about kungfu masters who liked to smoke the opium or whatnot and bieng kickass fighhters, one day they get up for work and instead of hakn flem its bloodchunks :( :p DDdddelicious!!.


If I was you, dont smoke at home when you have accsess to liqour, and you do a 8 hour work shift only smoke two and a half - three cigs within that shift, then get it down to 1 and a half so you smoke only half a smoke three times in your shift....dont do it to quit do it cuz you should, then that half smoke is only the nic rush your body is accustommed to wheras your not taking the other pack and a half your mind is accustomed to, or you can break up a pack of smokes into some pepsi, let it sugar for a few days, then just do shooters of that when you need a hit.. ;) everything else is mental, but when your smoking as a stressvic, you only need that little dose so you can meditate on it, and make it smaller and smaller the next time!


BUT THIS WILL ONLY WORK IF YOU SMOKE WHEN YOUR STARING AT THE CLOCK, CUZ THATS WHEN YOUR BODIES SHUTTING OFF SO YOU GET BORED AND CRAVE THE NICRUSH...AT HOME JUST LIFT AND BEAT YOUR BAG, WATCH TV WITH YOUR DAUGHTER no need to stare at the clock thier!.

Thats what i would do not cold turkey as its been thier as long as chocolate bars to your ego so your always going to be a smoker in spirit!. ?:cool:

[ewallace]

Horror stories really don't provide any motivational factors. Smoker's all know the risk unless they are complete idiots.

GDA

Quiting drinking actually makes quiting smoking a whole lot easier.

After the first day, think about how good it feels not to have that dirty ash tray smell in your clothes. You will also notice how much other's smell like ass after they go out for a smoke.

Cutting back doesn't work. It's only an excuse to not quit now. You really have to be brutally ****ing honest with yourself. You can get 5 minutes of pleasure, or you can increase your lifespan for years. That's one way to think of it.

Another thing, if you always smoke right after eating, do NOT plop your ass down in the lazy boy after you eat. Do something that will totally prevent your mind from wandering aimlessly, because it WILL remind you how much you want to smoke. Maybe go for a walk with your little girl right after you eat?

I tried everything else and the only thing that worked for me was absolute willpower. There was no way a little piece of **** paper with chemicals up the wahzoo was going to be stronger than my will to quit.

Just suggestions. What worked for me defintely won't work for everyone. Good luck bro. You'll need it.

[uncle]

Man thats the hardest one of all to beat.I know exactly how you feel,I smoked for 30yrs ,just quit last November bar non hardest d@mn thing I ever did . I tried,gum,patches,cold turkey,wellbutryn,and every combination possible. What finally worked for me was accupuncure.The kids were my big motivating factor also , that and the fact that at 48 yrs old i'm a pretty good candidate for lung cancer. On a lighter note there is one other way for us hard cases hypnosis , I know another guy that quit using that and was sucsessful,the hypnotist gave him a post hypnotic suggestion that every time he thinks about smoking he starts laughing like a loony tune its pretty funny.Thats all I got man good luck, and HANG IN THERE!! Peace Bro, Bob

[uncle]

:o Sorry man some more points I wanted to add like fock that smoker at heart shet ,its defeatist the biggest thing you have to do is decide if your gonna do this or not ! If you do fail at one attempt don't lose heart just take another tact. For the first month don't drink, you need every advantage. I believe the reason I was sucessful w/acc. is that it takes all the weird body $hit away then all you have left is the mental( man you can beat that!!). Thing is it takes like 14 days or so to get the nicotine out of your system beforeyou even begin to finish the withdrawls anyways best of luck Bob

[anton]

My year 12 latin teacher used to be a heavy smoker, he went to a hypnotist and never touched a cigarette since.
BTW: on a different note, your daughter sounds pretty **** smart for a two y.o.

[Serpent]

You know what they say. Kids always grow up the opposite of their parents! ;)

GDA, you can do it man. Do it for your daughter and do it for yourself. You can accomplish anything you want to.

[GeneChing]

Where there's smoke...
The Fighting Smoking Pipe of Kungfu
It'll be in our SEP/OCT 2002 issue, on stands in August.

[ewallace]

The Fighting Smoking Pipe of Kungfu

Would that be rich mooney's reverse chi blast?

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

awakenwired . .. thanks man . .. you actually addressed one of my biggest fears that was rappidly building up to me lighting up again. i just have been feeling like fu ck it . .. if im going to want a cigerette for the rest of my life why the hell wouldn't i smoke them. i'd feel worse if i went through all the hell of quitting for years and got lung cancer than if i just kept smoking and got it anyway.

diego is definately right about the work thing. at home its not too bad, always something you can do, but when you're staring at the clock at work it's fu cking torture. i actually tried what you said a while back too. i wan't even thinking about quitting but just cutting back to half a pack a day again. i smoke basic non filters (which are as long as filtered cigs unlike camels) so it was easy to smoke halfs and get down to about half a pack. i wish i would have been down to half a pack yesterday man ... this sucks.

ewallace ... thanks for all the advice man. all of it makes sense and a lot of it helps a good bit. especially the doing something right after eating. i played with adora yesterday, but going for a walk would be even better.

serp .. ha. you do actually bring up a good point though. im not using this as an excuse to keep smoking but about two thirds of the familys i know have children that smoke when the parent's didn't or vis-versa. on family had two parents who didnt smoke and all 5 children now do. 2 other families had a total of 3 smoking parents and 5 non smoking kids. seems to actually be a trend.


i do want to ask everyone who has quit a question . .. .

do you still want a cigerette? do you still yearn for them more than on rare occassions?

nice plug gene!

[SDriver]

I've quit a lot of stuff, blah blah. Smoking was by far the hardest. I "quit" almost five years ago, but was still having like one cig a day every day. Obviously the physical addiction factor of the nicotine was out of my system, but I still had to have that one freakin cig a day. Haven't had a smoke since Jan. now, and I still crave'em. My mom quit for about 25 years, bought a pack last year. It's hard time. :(

How many packs a day did you smoke? Take the money you would have spent and spend it on your training. Or your daughter. If you smoked a pack a day, well, that's a whole month of martial arts training in most parts of the country. That's *two* months here. Or put it into a savings account, then eventually a mutual fund... with compound interest, $90-100 a month from now 'til the time she's in college will come in handy.

If you're going to quit, there'll be a point at which you *know* you're going to quit. That's been my experience. Trying to quit before you're ready doesn't work so well. You make yourself and your loved ones miserable for like a week, then you end up chainsmoking a whole pack of Kools.

Also, stay the hell away from booze if you're trying to quit. You'll either smoke like a freight train (and **** your friends off by being a ****ed bum) or you'll do something idiotic like dipping Copenhagen, swallowing it, and puking your guts out all night. Not that I'd know.

[fa_jing]

Well, I was never really addicted, but I used to smoke about half a pack a day. Situational smoking, right? What convinced me to quit was being worked to total exhaustion by my Sifu repeatedly. Nearly every class, I'd get to that point he likes to push us to, to "find out where the power comes from." In other words, when you're completely exhausted and you want to stop training but you have to figure out where to reach down deep inside you to come up with some power, because either Sifu's yelling encouragement during the airshield/bag workout (Front kick! Front Kick! Knee! Double up on the punches!) or else actual body parts are heading towards you with force because you're sparring and it's one more round than you thought you can go, sometimes even two more rounds. Every time I hit that exhaustion/keep-going-anyway point, I'd mentally quit cigarettes "That's it I'm not smoking anymore I can't keep doing this to myself." But the next day, or sometimes even after I got back from training, I'd start smoking again. Well, this processed repeated itself enough times, to the point where I finally recognized and quit the tobacco. It's been over 2 years and I have had one cigarette during this time, when my friend a jazz drummer came into town. The cigarette was quite good, but I paid the price the next day when we played basketball, I could really feel it in my lungs.
Sometimes I would like a smoke but my wife hates it, and I know it would mess up my training. Still, I'm sure I could handle it - because I don't really have that "I am a smoker" mentality. Actually I do smoke the outer wrappers of cheap cigars, occasionally, while replacing the insides with a special herb. From this I do get a little tobacco effect, but I think for a real smoker that wouldn't do anything, except wake up your jones for a cig. The other thing is I am involved in heavy sparring and I don't like to do poorly, getting hit has forced me to train seriously, if I'm going to be doing this (Kung Fu) I can't approach things half-assed, it's too dangerous. I've had my clock cleaned so I know.
Good Luck GDA! If you know for sure that you want something, it makes attaining it an easier process.

-FJ

[SDriver]

Special Herb... I think that guy lives down my street.

[fa_jing]

Special Herb is Special Ed's cousin.

-FJ

[ewallace]

But Herb is more special than Ed. He tends to be a little more fragrant, and sometimes appears to be walking around with his eyes almost shut and laughing at things that aren't necessarily funny.

[KC Elbows]

Hehe, that's funny.:D

[kungfu cowboy]

I quit smoking 15 months ago. I absolutely loved smoking. Smoked for 16 years. Was up to 2 packs a day. It was rough quitting, but nothing that caused incredibly unbearable agony. Did it cold turkey. What counts is the mental part anyway. Occasionally still get cravings, but they are more along the strength comparably of "Gee, I'd sure like a candy bar. Oh, not really." The cravings eventually become very easy to deal with, and except for a doozy once in a very great while, (only had like 3 real cravings after the initial quitting ones) are no more than gentle reminders of the former frenzied addiction.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

man as the day at work wears on im feeling more and more like i'm just proving to myself how much i actually like smoking. im not quitting, but just playing a game to see how long i can go without one. grrrr. feel like a such a fu ckin puss.

funny thing is that the only thing that keeps me goin is convincing myself that if i can make it through the day ill let myself smoke tomorrow. it's the only way i can sleep at night too .... whatever works i guess.

at least ill gain back some of the weight i lost from the past two surgeries though.

[GeneChing]

ewallace: One of my prize antique weapons is a fighting smoking pipe I acquired in Beijing. It has a big ol' spike on the end. The dealer actually had several and I regret not buying them all. You'll see a picture of it in the article along with a pic of my clocking a good buddy on the head with it. You know kungfu people, we'll use anything as a weapon....

[KC Elbows]

and it's the only weapon that you can bring in to a Dead Show and not get hassled by the peaceniks.

Well, hassled for being violent, that is.

[Mr Punch]

GDA, in a hurry, but:

coming up on Saturday night... how you doin? Don't ***** out on it now... watch for the dreaded beer combo...

I quit last year August 17th (how do I remember that date?!!).

It's hell. Everyone varies, but it is hell. I ended up having to quit a daily drink habit too, just so I wouldn't get into a smoky situation. After about a month I stopped wanting to seriously injure old people who got in my way and things like that (this is a lie, I still want to, but it got worse when I'd just quit).

I would suggest, don't replace smoking with heavy exercise: it'll give you that strange craving you always get for one after exercise. I think it's better to concentrate on your tanden/breathing practice to simmer down.

And drink lots of water: this flushes your system, and actually can make you feel sick when you smoke. Plus, you'll have to **** all the time so you won't waste so much time killing yourself!!!:D

Make the hell your experience. Own that hell. Enjoy it! Savour the new depths of twisted mood swings! Make it truly yours!!!

Do it. It's great (after the hell).

Now I'm born-again hard! I always wondered why I couldn't put any muscle on...! And I can breathe easier than anyone else around me (but I do live in Tokyo!).