Red Neck Humor

[Daedalus]

In the town in which I live(Lexington, NC)a Southern style kung fu school recently openned. On the sign that went up on the front of the school it said "Southern Kung Fu and Chi Kung".

About a week later, an aquaintence of mine who learned of my martial arts background came up to me and asked if I had seen the new southern kung fu school that had openned up. I said yes, but before I could elaborate on what I new of southern kung fu, this guy turns his hat sideways on his head, sticks his tongue into his cheek as if he was chewing tobacco, balls up his fists old style and asks me if I want to "wrassle", talking in his best southern draw.

It hit me then that this ignorant fellow was somehow of the belief that the "southern" in southern kung fu must refer to the South, as in southern United States.

I couldn't help but laugh myself as visions of overall clad red necks chewing tobacco and square dancing forms filled my mind.

Just thought ya'll might get a chuckle outta this. :D

[chi-kwai]

I was totally expecting you to say that your friend couldn't figure out why they served poultry with kung fu :)

--
chi kwai

[tnwingtsun]

Your town has some of the best BBQ sauce in the world,my uncle's is the best though,I'm from Southport,I know what cha mean.

[David]

I saw that one coming but the image of "wrassle" lol

The powers of Kung Fu never fail!
-- Hong Kong Phooey

[Water Dragon]

If you go to your family reunion to pick up chicks...

You might be a redneck

Most actions of men can be explained by observing a pack of dogs. Not wild dogs, just neighborhood dogs who all scurry under the fence on the same night and set off together to reclaim a glimmer of the glory their species possessed before domestication.

[rfbrown3]

You might just be a redneck if,
Your richest relative ask you to help him take the wheels off of his new house.

Having lived in moble home for darn near 18 years in West Texas, I still crack up every time I hear that one.

[HopGar]

You might be a redneck if....

your father is also your uncle..

you divorce your wife, there is still a question as to whether you are still brother and sister....

Ill post some more later...

Zvika

"He's not dead, 'es resting! Well if 'e's resting, I'll wake him up! 'Ello Mr. Polly Parrot...." -Monty Python, Dead Parrot Sketch

[HopGar]

got some more red neck jokes....

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

Zvika

"He's not dead, 'es resting! Well if 'e's resting, I'll wake him up! 'Ello Mr. Polly Parrot...." -Monty Python, Dead Parrot Sketch