losing interest in mas

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

sucks. i havent been able to train in so long that im losing more and more interest in the arts. this is the first time i have even been here in a while. i spend all my free time playing video games now and im starting to like it. at first i couldn't stand sitting on my ass no matter how bad i felt, but anymore i look forward to it.

every now and then ill think about starting to do mediation, stretching, and chigung again, but the motivation never lasts until the time of day i can actually do these things. as soon as the kid is in bed im logging on to whatever game ill play until 5 or 6 in the morning. i'm so pathetic that i have actually started playing ultima online again after quitting it for well over a year. for those of you who arent framiliar with the game just think of it as online crack.

next week marks my 6th of 12 chemo treatments and i fear that by the time its all said and done ill have become another piece of **** american tribute to sloth. sometimes i try to think about starting over again from scratch as a good opportunity, but then othertimes i feel cheated and figure why bother. i know it's pu ssy to pi ss and moan about it, but it really sucks to have all your hard work stripped away from you. i worked hard to put on the weight i did and even harder to be able to sit in a medium horse stance indefinately. now i'll have to start all over. or i could just create another character on ultima and download the hacked version of the newest 3d shooter.

has anyone else had to take an extreme amount of time off of training, get butchered to nothing, and start over again? did you progress quickly because you already knew what you were doing? i have had to take up to 2 months off before, but this is different. its not just the amount of time im gone its the fact that im running drano through my veins a couple times a month as well. i just hope that cancer isn't the only thing chemo kills in me.

[Merryprankster]

GDA,

Chemo will kill the rot on your orbs and you will have to find a new style--maybe April Fresh Orb style?

Anyhoo, chin up, stiff upper lip and all that. If it's whackin you around, try doing only 15 minutes a day of something. I've never had to come off serious serious body problems like you're having, so I don't speak from experience, but anything's gotta be better than nothing!

Cheers!

James

[TaoBoy]

Whoa. This is the first I've heard about you and cancer. It's pretty fckd up really. I hope you get through it okay.

I'm studying Traditional Chinese Medicine and my professor always says that if you are undergoing chemo you need to ensure that the good cells in your body are still maintained. One way to do this is to go to a TCM doctor and get some treatments and some herbs. This is definitely worth considering.

As for the attack of apathy, I've never been in your position so I cannot comment on life from your perspective. The worst I've been is when I had severe glandular fever. I was in bed for two months and had little or no energy for about a year after that. You just want to do nothing - but eventually you gotta give yourself a kick up the ass and just do something...

I dunno how to motivate you to get up and do something and not just sit there. You just gotta do it. I know it sounds corny but it's true.

Good luck buddy!

[Diu Sao]

I just got over a bout with stomach cancer and it really sucked. I wasn't training for a year and half because of it. Plus I had two festering ulcers. But after my operation I kicked myself in the ass and made myself join a new school. It was hard after being an assistant instructor for 4 years in a another style, not to mention the school logo tattooed on my forearm! It's a humbling and excruciatingly painfull process but I managed to do it. I can't speak for you or anything but don't give up or else you'll really regret it. I am happier than I have ever been, although the journey was the hardest battle of my life.

Good luck man


Diu Sao

[Lice]

So GDA, you a Trammy? You don't seem like you would be, but you know what they say about assumptions. ;)

What shard? (I haven't played in years.. just curious.) UO:R ruined it for me. Patch 16 looks even worse. *shudder*

I guess I'm not helping, huh?

[Royal Dragon]

I didn't have cancer, so i'm not at that level here, but I got severly depressed when I had my collapse. What I did was to guzzel lots of Ginseng. It perked me up, and gave me the motivation to do my therapy. Then as time went on, I started my Kung Fu again.

Just make sure you plan to drink the Ginseng daily at the same time, and not to train. it will wake you up to the point of doing something in time.

[Souljah]

Why does chemo stop you guys from training? Does it make you weak? Im just asking cos i dont know much about it but fear will have to soon.

[Budokan]

GDA, stop blaming yourself for not concentrating on your MA when it's obvious you have other, much more pressing concerns to worry about.

There's nothing wrong with putting MA off to the side while you deal with more important issues in your life.

However, I've gone through idle periods myself. I know where you're coming from when you talk of planning to work out the next day, are eager and hopping to do it, but when that day arrives you lose your concentration.

Martial arts is just that, an art. It'll still be there for you when you're ready to come back to it. Just like your friends on this forum, we're here for you now that you've come back to us....

Good luck!

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

souljah .. .. extremely weak. its just like running drano through you man. it works by killing all fast reproducing cells so its not just cancer that takes a hit. basically you have a hangover for about 6 months. people told me that it gets easier with every treatment and thats both true and false. i thought this ment that i could start training again half way through it, but the fatigue gets worse ever time you do it and lasts longer. the nausia is reduced each time though. i never have puked from it and was only sick after my first treatment. after 5 treatments can eat right after chemo, but instead of having a good week before my next treatment im tired as **** up until 2 or 3 days before (its only every other week).

i tried to keep up on training and what not for a while, but it just felt like a waste. i was able to do less and less and it was depressing to hit the bag with such a lack of power. do i feel well enough to stretch, do some light chigung, and meditate? absolutely, but those are the things i used to suppliment my training with. i hate to say it, because i know the benifits of doing these things, but they were generally my least favorate parts of training.

taoboy ... ill be fine. its just hodgekins ... a pu ssy cancer. same thing mario lamu (not even gona try to spell it) from the pittsburgh penguins had. i also work with two guys who had it and are both fine now. its 90% curable, but they attack it with some of the most hardcore drugs available. better safe than sorry i guess.

ds/rd .... im gald to hear that others bounced back. im glad to hear you beat it ds. your condition was much more serious than mine, so i guess i cant complain.

mp . .. "anything's gotta be better than nothing" ... you are 100% right.

lice ... trammy? ha ... i quit because of tram as well. my buddy recently got me back into it becaue of the new changes. they basically forced some of the trammies to make their way to fel (can only get some of the new **** everyone wants in fel) where they can be killed in dungeons without the pk risking stat los (you get a long term count and not a short term if you kill in a dungeon). i play on ches .... a red tamer if you can believe that.

[Shadow Dragon]

GDA.

Hang in there, and once the chemo is over go back out and start again.

Even a prolonged absence from training won't diminish your skill level, fitness yes but not skill level.

Maybe try a new MA next, or even now a less demanding style.

Also think of your Wife and your darling daughter, they deserve you going the extra mile and making that little extra effort.

Wishing you all the best.

P.S.: I had 3 cancer cases in my Family, 2 were fatal ones.
Don't give in and you will come out ok.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

ha . .. just from posting here i caught myself doing some handwork on the way back from the bathroom for the first time in a while.

i just need to not worry about it cause i bet ill be all about training once im not a chemo bi tch no more..

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

thanks sd ... but it would have been really funny if your entire post would have just been ....

"I had 3 cancer cases in my Family, 2 were fatal ones."

:)

[diego]

gunnie at first i was thinking get into research, but then read you wont be on chemo for long...like i was going to say if your gonna be ****ed for 3years get into the research of your system like try to get some teaching skills, then if you luck out and become healthy agian you will still be somewhat onpoint!.

also i was going to say at least play martial art vids and watch the history of kungfu flicks...even grab the ninja turtle movies...anything to get you motivated/ but i see your seeing that by doing handwork agian from visiting kfo...you and ralek should go head up just yall wrestling bios is some funny ****; sometype of wannabemartial hero-video hoe's!.

[KC Elbows]

Budokan is right. Your training will be fine, and is nothing to worry about, you ****ing *****.

Here's an idea. Why don't you do light chi kung when you're normally wanking? At least then, they would finally have an excuse to take Saved By the Bell off the air. Mind you, you should still allow yourself your "special touchy time" while the powerpuff girls are on. Girls with huge eyes are just begging for it.

BTW, read this:

http://www.jub-jub.com/marmot/marmots.htm

[Budokan]

GDA, think about raping old people with broken glass and drinking their anal blood. That ought to perk you right up.

[Chang Style Novice]

I had no idea Selma Bouvier's pet iguana had his own internet domain!

To quote Troy McClure "G@y? I wish! If I were g@y there'd be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost."

[Mr Punch]

The chemo will make you feel more and more drained probably until anything from 1-6 mths after it stops. Depends on your general health and attitude though. You seem fairly strong for a whingeing *****-ased biotch, so shut the **** up and get on with it!

And don't feel guilty about not training for a bit, or about moaning on here! But don't let yourself forget that you get energy from your training and that'll help you lick your *****ness, and the cancer, and the chemo. Do feel guilty about this:


Originally posted by GunnedDownAtrocity
ha . .. just from posting here i caught myself doing some handwork on the way back from the bathroom for the first time in a while.

... you sick monkey! Do it IN the bathroom, in your BEDROOM, wherever, but don't do your handwork walking round the house, maan that stuff gets everywhere!!! :D

[Subitai]

That is truely the challenge for people. How to push thier own buttons each day and make themselves desire to work out.

I know that this is going to sound overly simplistic but,

1) just watch some good kung fu movies.

Nothing gets me more hyped up to practice. For example, tonite I was sleepy at 10pm and the wife and kids were asleep. I popped in a video and bam I was in my workout room within 20mins of watchin' it. I had a nice 2 hr workout.

2) Music, it stirrs the soul.

Sometimes I play my favorite upbeat stuff and I start moving. Just a little at first. Then i'm all warmed up and ready to start training. It's easy.

Like I said before, you have to be consistant and find out what pushes your buttons.

It's like getting "runners high", you find yourself looking forward to getting into the "high" state again.

"O"

[HuangKaiVun]

The body, post-chemo, really should be RESTING.

The mind remains active, and there's nothing wrong with playing video games.

Pushing the body when it really isn't capable will result in loathing of the martial arts. Even the smallest bit of training can be the worst workout session imagineable for such a physical state.

Let it GO, Gunned-Down Atrocity.

Go hack heads off computer-generated characters or something! :o

[fa_jing]

GDA - It is highly unlikely that cancer will rob you of your free will. Use it to return to MA practice when you feel better.

[Cody]

I also worked hard to achieve a good medium horse stance. I practiced it 3-4 hours a week, and it took me over a year to get there. I sat into it. It developed me physically and mentally. Now, I'm a mess. I won't go into the how's and why's. Thing is when there is severe illness or a combination of other factors including physical distress, a person can get so low that the resources, the get up and go to Do something that is normal for you doesn't work anymore. I'm there. You sound like you're there. You're not whining; you're asking for a hand and I respect you for it.
My idea. It must have been around 1996 or so that I was looking at a Kung Fu magazine coverage of a tournament. There was mention of one of Shou-Yu Liang's daughters, and, if I'm correct, she was battling Hodgkin's at the time. Maybe someone here could back this up. Anyhow, if it is as I recall, it might be worth your while to contact him and ask him for advice. His website is http://www.shouyuliang.com/index.shtml

best wishes for your complete recovery of health,

Cody

[sweaty_dog]

GDA, I don't know you, but my mother died of that f*cked up disease, and as far as I'm concerned what you are going through is a real test of your ability to fight, more than any dumb street fight or competition. You are not going to be in great shape at the end of it, but you will have beaten an opponent that has a pretty nasty track record, and you will have every reason to be proud of yourself. Kill the cancer any way you can, eat well, enjoy your life, and when you are better you can worry about MA again. Also there is no way cancer has to stop you achieving your goals, Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France after his bout with cancer... if you beat it then you can beat anything.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

after thinking about it for the past two days i realized i was overly concerned. it sucks right now, but i decided that less interest at this point means nothing. mas have been part of my life for so long i don't think i need to worry about the possibility of not returning to it when i'm done with chemo. i'm actually at the exact same weight i was before i started lifting, so its not like its eating me alive and i haven't lost any weight in months.

kc... that was pretty funny and budukan is right. especially about the delight i get in pondering geriatric rape.

diego .. no lack of ma video games here. still doing tons of tekken tag and recently started on 4.

mat. .. mario lamu only took a year off from his hockey career for the same thing, so hopefully ill be able to start back up shortly after im done. and there aint nothin wrong with spankin it a little while walking around the house or office as long as you carry a tissue with you.

huang and fajing .... i had to think about it for a while, but decided that you guys are right. no reason to beat myself up about it.

thanks for the additional success stories cody and dog.

i know that i'm rarely serious on here, but i do appreciate all the replys . ... it actually has helped. i'm just going to enjoy sitting on my ass for a little while and look forward to getting back in shape when the time comes. thank satan for video games.