Mouth Boxing - Is this you? [Archive] - Kung Fu Magazine Forums

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 02:26 PM

Guy watching the mat at BJJ school: Hey man, how you doing?

Shaolin Student: Good.

BJJ Guy: What brings you in?

SS: I'm getting my car fixed around the corner, and I wanted to see what you had here.

BJJ: We have a really good school, lots of good people, and excellent instructors. We're open 11am-10pm M-F and 11-2 Sat and Sunday.Have you done any jiu-jitsu?

SS: No I study shaolin(or White Crane or Suk bak Do, etc).

BJJ: Oh?....Cool, do you want to set up an intro lesson to see what we have going on?

SS: No, I'm happy with what I am doing.

BJJ: Come on, you came in for a reason. Your curious to see if BJJ is really as effective as the hype. I've got a few minutes if you want to check it out...run through the basic positions and then roll for ten minutes. Totally friendly.

SS: I don't think you could stand up with me, and I really don't want to hurt you.

BJJ: Hmmm. Don't worry. If I am taking a lot of damage, I'll signal you to stop, and usually we start on the ground to prevent injury anyway, but if you want to start standing with strikes we can. That is the way jiu-jitsu works; you test your partner without actully doing serious damage. Judo players call it randori. We'll just go for a few minutes, but first sign this release and watch our safety video.

SS: I don't think my instructor would approve.

BJJ: Really? Why not?

SS: I've got to go.

BJJ: Take it easy.

Why do most practicing martial artists posture hard, but split when asked to play?

Silumkid

10-15-2002, 02:45 PM

Maybe the schools in Colorado suck? Except for BJJ of course. We have all been brainwashed into knowing that nothing else can beat it or has anything to offer except Japanese pro-wrestling. What's the name of that guy who has beaten 4 or 5 Gracies? Oh, yeah, Kaz Sakuraba. What a silly guy! When will he learn that BJJ is unbeatable?

Waidan

10-15-2002, 02:46 PM

Yeah, that's me. I'm such a tool. ;)

Good point though, always test your stuff when given a good (friendly) opportunity. Knowing where you really stand is far more important than protecting your ego.

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 02:55 PM

Don't be a tool. I was simply asking a question. Obviously, your short answer is "yes, that's me."

Silumkid

10-15-2002, 03:04 PM

Hmmm....you make the sweeping generalization about "other martial artists" and I'm the tool? Wow. I never thought of it that way...maybe because that makes as much sense as pre-heating your microwave.

Hey, if you contact the Parade of Hope, they might start a fund to buy you a sense of humor. Or maybe your little feelings were hurt because BJJ isn't the "ultimate" junk that the marketing machine tries to make you believe.

Nice try at trying to make me all defensive too. Hey, maybe if you say something worth the effort next time besides some trite attempt at superiority, I'll consider blessing you with a reply.

Smootchie bootchies! :cool:

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 03:08 PM

Excellent word choice, and I really admire you sentence structure, but reading comprehension needs work. I didn't say all, just most.

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 03:11 PM

Originally posted by Silumkid
Nice try at trying to make me all defensive too. Hey, maybe if you say something worth the effort next time besides some trite attempt at superiority, I'll consider blessing you with a reply.

Smootchie bootchies! :cool:

You GOTTA love this family. I mean, come on, how many other families do you know what have THIS MUCH smartassedness going around it!!

~Wen~

xie li wong

10-15-2002, 03:13 PM

Boulder Student,
Nobody cares. Do you do BJJ?? Or are you really a SHAOLIN DO student in disguise??

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 03:18 PM

I do tai chi and bjj. Tai chi for three years; bjj for two. What is Shaolin Do? Chinese/Japanese hybrid? Why don't you care? Apathy?

Silumkid

10-15-2002, 03:23 PM

...and I'm generally a helpful, diplomatic type:

Re: sentence structure, it is generally accepted that a quotation should be preceded by a comma when it is part of another sentence and also capitalized as in the case of - Obviously, your short answer is, "Yes, that's me".

Also, "you" in "you sentence structure" should really be a possesive, as well as having a possesive in front of "reading comprehension".

While it is true that you said 'most martial artists' in direct quotation, there is such a thing as inference when you do not bother to clarify yourself. Saying 'most' in the context of your missive infers that BJJ schools are the only schools that "roll".

You're welcome. I'm here to help. :)

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 03:26 PM

Thanks for helping me out with my grammar. I didn't know I was dealing with a grammarian. Scary stuff.

Silumkid

10-15-2002, 03:30 PM

Always happy to help! :D

xie li wong

10-15-2002, 03:32 PM

www.shao-lin.com this will help educate you!!

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 03:37 PM

I guarantee you these guys would never test themselves. But what about you?

Felipe Bido

10-15-2002, 03:59 PM

Royce would choke this thread!

I'm telling ya! :mad:

Ok, now. Mouth boxing can be found everywhere.

Ryu

10-15-2002, 04:07 PM

Gimme a break.... here's what the conversation would in all reality probably be like.

Hey man, how you doing?

Shaolin Student: Good.

BJJ Guy: What brings you in?

SS: I'm getting my car fixed around the corner, and I wanted to see what you had here.

BJJ: We have a really good school, lots of good people, and excellent instructors. We're open 11am-10pm M-F and 11-2 Sat and Sunday.Have you done any jiu-jitsu?

SS: No I study shaolin(or White Crane or Suk bak Do, etc).

BJJ: Oh?....Cool, do you want to set up an intro lesson to see what we have going on?

SS: No, I'm happy with what I am doing.

BJJ: Okay that's cool. Well if you have any questions just ask.

SS: Okay, thanks!

Ryu

Silumkid

10-15-2002, 04:09 PM

Time for Ryu to change his title again, from "chivalric bully" to "the defuser"! :D

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 04:10 PM

LOFL! Felipe, you are such a crack up!!

And, it's not ROYCE...IT'S RICKSON....Rickson would choke thie thread!

~Wen~

Silumkid

10-15-2002, 04:13 PM

Then, Sak would run in and break his arm! Woo-HA!

Ironpig

10-15-2002, 04:52 PM

Ryu is correct in my experience.

In reality, the only thing the person in the example could be found guilty of was curiosity. (the person who walked into the school and wanted to watch)

Waidan

10-15-2002, 04:52 PM

Not that he didn't have help, but I think this is the first time I've seen someone hijack their own thread.

anerlich

10-15-2002, 05:20 PM

You guys! Insulting Mouth Boxing! (check my title)

I'm not sure I'd want to take up an invitation such as this thirty seconds after walking into a school. I'd like to have some idea that the guy I've only just met isn't out to kill me or something.

In this "story", it sounds like the BJJ guy is the one with the chip on his shoulder and the desire to put the other stylist down.

Oh, since we're comparing stats:

Wing Chun for 13 years
BJJ for 3 years
MOUTH BOXING 4EVER!

SevenStar

10-15-2002, 05:34 PM

actually, it's royler who would choke the hell outta this thread. royce himself told me that royler was psycho.

TaoBoy

10-15-2002, 05:36 PM

This thread is worth a read just for the laughs.

Ryu is right (again). In my experience BJJ players are great guys and don't go 'round touting the brilliance of their art. Of course, that all changes when some kid with an ego gets online and trolls. Now, maybe BS wasn't trolling, who knows? The mere fact that he compared a CMA stylist and a BJJ player in this instance reminds us of do many other trolls it ain't funny.

'nuff said.

Peace, love and mung beans to ya all. :D

rogue

10-15-2002, 05:56 PM

Really it'd be like this...

Hey man, how you doing?

Shaolin Student: Good.

BJJ Guy: What brings you in?

SS: I'm getting my car fixed around the corner, and I wanted to see what you had here.

BJJ: We have a really good school, lots of good people, and excellent instructors. We're open 11am-10pm M-F and 11-2 Sat and Sunday.Have you done any jiu-jitsu?

SS: No I study shaolin(or White Crane or Suk bak Do, etc).

BJJ: Oh?....Bwaahahahahhahaha... uh excuse me, I just thought of something funny. But that's uh cool, ....bwaahahahahhahaha... Uh Sorry.

SS: Do you need a hanky you're eyes are tearing up an awful lot.

BJJ: No I'm OK, alergy season. Do you want to set up an intro lesson to see what we have going on?

SS: No, I'm happy with what I am doing, though it's too deadly to show you.

BJJ: Okay that's cool. Well if you have any questions just ask.

SS: Okay, thanks! I do have one.

BJJ: Shoot.

SS: Do you have any defenses against a master of dim mak while you have him in your guard?

:D

Chang Style Novice

10-15-2002, 06:04 PM

I think if you gave Godzilla a bacon sammich and BJJ lessons, and gave Moby D!ck a wheel of brie and Northern Shaolin lessons, and they got in a fight, it would have about as much bearing on reality as this thread.

TaoBoy

10-15-2002, 06:09 PM

Originally posted by Chang Style Novice
I think if you gave Godzilla a bacon sammich and BJJ lessons, and gave Moby D!ck a wheel of brie and Northern Shaolin lessons, and they got in a fight, it would have about as much bearing on reality as this thread.

LMAO! :D

rogue

10-15-2002, 07:00 PM

Really it'd be like this...

Asian Madame: Hey man, how you doing?

Ryu: Good.

Asian Madame: What brings you in?

Ryu: I'm getting my car fixed around the corner, and I wanted to see what you had here.

Asian Madame: We have a really good brothel, lots of good asian girls, and excellent beany boys. We're open 11am-10pm M-F and 11-2 Sat and Sunday.Have you been with any Asians girls?

SS: No I get shot down like a duck over Ted Nuggents house.

Asian Madame (gesturing to a bevy of lovely more nude than not virgin asian girls): Oh that's cool. Do you want to set up an appointment to see what we have going on?

Ryu (getting very excited): Yeah, that'd be great!

Asian Madame: Whoops, I'm sorry it's now 10:01 PM we're closed you'll have to leave.

Ryu: Okay, that figures. :(

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 07:09 PM

Originally posted by anerlich
MOUTH BOXING 4EVER!

I have to go with Anerlich's post. He's got the right idea. Of course, i have NEVER been defeated in mouth boxing, so i am NOT worried!! ;)

~Wen~

Ryu

10-15-2002, 07:11 PM

"No I get shot down like a duck over Ted Nuggents house."

I have had my elbow blown out of its socket during BJJ, my ribs bruised in judo, my head stitched up with steel staples .......... but that really hurt. :(

(Ryu never gets turned down!! :D ....... often.... )

CD Lee

10-15-2002, 07:14 PM

Guys and gals, this is exactly the kind of stuff I come back over and over the KFO for. I actually mean it too. :D

RYU - gotta say, your version is the boring reality version, but never the less, that is what would happen.

Boulder Student - Your version sounds a little like a script from Karate Kid and the Cobra instructor.

Felipe - Kudos brother! Royce would choke this thread for sure, right after he choked out Sak for breaking Rickson's arm.

Xebsball

10-15-2002, 07:15 PM

watch out....

:eek: or ill post pictures of semi-nude and nude dolls :eek:

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 07:17 PM

Originally posted by Ryu
(Ryu never gets turned down!! :D ....... often.... )

I'd never turn you down!! ;)

~Wen~

Ryu

10-15-2002, 07:19 PM

My one and only true love to my rescue. Thank you, Wendy. Here have a rose, just for being beautiful. ;)

Xeb..... here... *Ryu kicks a soccer ball into the distance*
Go play or something.

;)

Ryu

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 07:23 PM

You're too good to me!! :) Thanks hon!

~Wen~

Xebsball

10-15-2002, 07:23 PM

woo hoo!!! a soccer ball!!! :D

cya later uncle Ryu! :D

Ryu

10-15-2002, 07:24 PM

ZIM

10-15-2002, 07:26 PM

Maybe if it was the original mouthboxer T...

BJJ Guy: Hey man, how's Mr.T doing?

Shaolin Student T: Helluva .Drink your Milk!

BJJ Guy: What brings the T in?

SST: I'm getting my 1982 GMC Custom Van fixed around the corner, and the T wanted to see what the crazy Faceman had here. You mind your own business, fool!

BJJ: We have a really Helluva school, lots of people, and excellent instructors. Must be one of Hannibal's plans. We're open 11am-10pm M-F and 11-2 Sat and Sunday.Has the T done any jiu-jitsu?

SST: No Mr.T studies shaolin(or White Crane or Suk bak Do, etc). HEY! You hurt that kid, and you're gonna buy more trouble than you bargained for!

BJJ: Oh?....Cool, does Mr.T want to set up an intro lesson to see what we have going on?...Are we gonna get down with our own bad selves?!?

SST: No, Mr.T's happy with what Murdock got doing.

BJJ: Okay thats crazy cool. Well if Mr.T has any questions just ask.Man, it's really gonna hit the fan now!

SST: Okay, thanks!Murdock... Is this your chicken?

------
Mr. T seys: Don't do Milk! Stay in drugs! Drink your school!

jon

10-15-2002, 07:30 PM

look maybe this is just me...
I actualy thought the guys original invitation sounded very reasonable and the CMA stylist must have been a fool to turn it down.
I would not want to get into a free for all within mintues of walking though the door but someone willing to take the time to actualy SHOW me how they apply there stuff in a safe and friendly enviorment... What the heck was the problem?

By turning the invitation down he made it sound as though he believed that they had nothing they could actualy show him anyway.

I dont understand how people could find this humiliating. I would expect to be beaten under there rule set but that is kind of the point. I would just be there to get an idea of what they do.
If a BJJ guy walked into my Tai Chi and was currious and i offered him to try some light pushing or something im not going to start trying to throw the guy around the room, what makes this so different?

I actualy would go on the original posters logic, why on earth is everyone so affraid to experience something else?
At the very worst our friend may have been schooled in an art he didnt understand and been all the wiser for it:rolleyes:

Im happy with what i do as well but i would some kind of idiot to pretend its the only way or even the ultimate way. What the heck would i know, its just the best of what ive been exposed to so far.

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 07:38 PM

Yeah Jon,
It has to be just you!! :D ;)

~Wen~

rogue

10-15-2002, 07:41 PM

Ryu, See how happy Xesball is with just a soccer ball? That's what you need, a nice sport to be involved with. So forget those girls and find a fun past time. :D

Boulder Student

10-15-2002, 07:42 PM

Sometimes the guy rolls, enjoys himself, and becomes a student. Is that you?
Sometimes the guy rolls, enjoys himself, and never comes back.
Is that you?
Sometimes the guy rolls, tries an eygouge, and leaves with a sore arm. Is that you?

Jon has it right. Usually nobody gets hurt.

ZIM

10-15-2002, 07:44 PM

on the serious side, i can see what jon is sayin. its a pride issue, probably. but some might say something like 'i dont want to go off my 'path'' or whatever. thats just being closed minded.

but im liking jokin about the mouthin off.this does happen a lot of times. if u mouth off a lot but wont train with other styles then thats the mouth boxer.

woops edit: i mean: if u mouth off alot but wont look into other viewpoints. ah whatever.

Ryu

10-15-2002, 07:45 PM

Originally posted by rogue
Ryu, See how happy Xesball is with just a soccer ball? That's what you need, a nice sport to be involved with. So forget those girls and find a fun past time. :D

I was going to make a joke about the "sport" I enjoy most, but thought it a little too brazen, and just a little too easy to pull off with what was just said. :D

Ryu

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 07:49 PM

Dear lord....mental pictures...me thinks me needs a cold shower.....

~Wen~

Shadow Dragon

10-15-2002, 07:51 PM

I would agree with Jon if it was an actual conversation that took place.

The following line makes me think that it might be a fabrication to get a certain response out of the Guys here:

We'll just go for a few minutes, but first sign this release and watch our safety video.

Now if the Guy is only interested in a friendly, impromptu, non-hurting sparring session this step seems a wee bit excessive and would turn away most interested MA.

Just my Opinion of course.

Cheers.

Ryu

10-15-2002, 07:52 PM

:eek: No no, wrong "sport"! Wrong "sport"! :eek:

Ryu

Xebsball

10-15-2002, 07:54 PM

*typing all this while remarkbly and skillfully controls the ball in the air while never letting it drop*

Maybe the guy didnt spar cos he had to pick up his kids from school or something... People just assume lots of stuff like the dude wasnt tough to fight and ****.

wushu chik

10-15-2002, 07:55 PM

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! ;)

~Wen~

gazza99

10-15-2002, 08:00 PM

Check you PM, just saw yours.....

gary

rogue

10-15-2002, 08:01 PM

Meanwhile as Ryu waits by the phone for the next Asian girl in trouble to call...

UNDERRYU (http://us.st8.yimg.com/store4.yimg.com/I/wickedcoolstuff_1710_36496515.gif) THEME LYRICS!
When criminals in this world appear
And break the laws that they should fear
And frighten all who see or hear
The call goes up both far and near
For UnderRyu! UnderRyu! UnderRyu! UnderRyu!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder

UnderRyu. UnderRyu!

When in this world the headlines read
Of those whose hearts are filled with greed
Who rob and steal from those who need
To right this wrong with blinding speed
Goes UnderRyu! UnderRyu! UnderRyu! UnderRyu!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder
UnderRyu. UnderRyu!

Please note the play on Ryu's name and the brand of underwear he dons as his alter ego.:D

rogue

10-15-2002, 08:03 PM

Shadow Dragon, you'd be surprised by the amount of martial artsists that don't know what tapping means.

Shadow Dragon

10-15-2002, 08:13 PM

Originally posted by rogue
Shadow Dragon, you'd be surprised by the amount of martial artsists that don't know what tapping means.

Oh, I know it.

That is when your Sifu applies some Qin-na to you and you bang your head against the floor or wall because of all the Pain while praying that he doesn't rip the body part of you..

Cheers.

Felipe Bido

10-15-2002, 09:30 PM

My dear, dear Wen, you know that Rickson wouldn't choke this thread....this thread has no AURA!

CDLee: :D ahaha!

SifuAbel

10-16-2002, 12:26 AM

I havn't read the entire thread, so if I'm repeating something or missed a crucial turning point please forgive my lazyness.

If this situation is true at alll, I would say the shaolin student was being quite fair and the supposed BJJ guy was being a bit obtuse about getting this person on the floor. No is no, most school owners are more interested in attracting students, not getting into potentially dangeous situations with some unknown person. Of which might be at worst a murderer.

What was his purpose for this? To try and embarrass the shaolin student? Why not just offer a free class or to participate with the group? What was this guy doing away from his class in the first place?

Would a business owner really stick his neck out in an unknown situation or play it cool? The later is more common in my experience. Which leads me to believe this might not be real.

What if the shaolin guy was that good? What then? Again, if this is real the bjj guy is playing on the business end of a russian roulette game.

wushu chik

10-16-2002, 02:13 AM

Originally posted by Felipe Bido
My dear, dear Wen, you know that Rickson wouldn't choke this thread....this thread has no AURA!

CDLee: :D ahaha!

Fantastic point Felipe....FANTASTIC!! Aura's where it's at!! And this thread sure doesn't have it!! :D

~Wen~

Budokan

10-16-2002, 07:46 AM

Asia Carrera: Hello, may I help you?

Budokan: I thought there was a BJJ school here. I'm getting my car fixed down the road and thought I'd stop in to watch a bit.

Asia Carrera: BJJ?

Budokan: Yeah. You know, the martial art. Thought I'd stop in and see about taking a couple of lessons on going to ground to help out my own techniques.

Asia Carrera: Hm. Well, I dont offer BJJ but I do offer BJ. And I'd be more than happy to do a little ground work with you. You look like the kind of person I'd like to have penetrate my defenses.

Budokan: Do I have to sign a safety contract first?

Asia Carrera: No, you just have to wear this protective garment and then mount me. If you do, I love you long time, G.I.

Budokan: I can't wait until this is over so I can write my Penthouse letter....

KC Elbows

10-16-2002, 08:15 AM

German war criminal watching the mat at BJJ school

BJJ Guy: Hey man, how you doing?

SS: Gud.

BJJ Guy: What brings you in?

SS: I'm gettink my car fixed around zee corner, and I vanted to see your papus.

BJJ: We have a really good school, lots of good people, and excellent instructors. We're open 11am-10pm M-F and 11-2 Sat and Sunday.Have you done any jiu-jitsu?

SS: No I ztudy zhaolin, and some zeven ztar praying mantis, az vell as zome zouthern crane. and I am zinking about taking up zome wing chun, but I cannot find a zchool in ze motherland.

BJJ: Oh?....Cool, do you want to set up an intro lesson to see what we have going on?

SS: No, I'm happy vith vhat I am doink.

BJJ: Come on, you came in for a reason. Your curious to see if BJJ is really as effective as the hype. I've got a few minutes if you want to check it out...run through the basic positions and then roll for ten minutes. Totally friendly.

SS: I don't zink you could stand up with me, and I really don't vant to hurt you.

BJJ: Hmmm. Don't worry. If I am taking a lot of damage, I'll signal you to stop, and usually we start on the ground to prevent injury anyway, but if you want to start standing with strikes we can. That is the way jiu-jitsu works; you test your partner without actully doing serious damage. Judo players call it randori. We'll just go for a few minutes, but first sign this release and watch our safety video.

SS: I don't zink my fuhrer would approve.

THE TWO STAND THERE, UNCOMFORTABLE FOR A TIME

SS: Perhaps if you vould give me some scotch, I vould reconsider.

BJJ[prancing]: Oh goody!

Otherwise, I agree with Jon.

CD Lee

10-16-2002, 08:31 AM

Basically, what drives this whole debate and the humurous story re-writes is the response of the Kung Fu Shaolin guy. That while the BJJ guy is more than reasonable, suddenly the Kung Fu guy says he would HURT the BJJ guy. The implicaiton is he is too dangerous and obviously would have no control of himself.

The real rub is that Boulder Student assumes and makes the gerneralization that MOST kung fu guys and gals are like this dweeb in his scenario. Most are not, and most BJJ guys and gals are pretty nice too, from those I have met.

And yes, it would be cool to have them show in a spirit of learning what the art was all about in a controlled fashion.

I had a BJJ friend take a school up on the same offer at a MMA club in Dallas recntly. They basically kicked him as hard as they could in the groin, and as he lay there, they just said 'sorry'. He was holding back because he had respect for the school. So, it many not always be as friendly as you think, and I for one, would not get into it within minutes of walking into a new place, not knowing anybody or anything about these people. That is just blindsiding yourself. You could get the same thing from them by observing a while and being patient, then taking a lesson.

rubthebuddha

10-16-2002, 01:49 PM

CD Lee is right.

and KC is way off -- no Wing Chun schools in deutschland (isn't germany the fatherland?) is a bunch o' hooey. kernspecht alone has bout 8 billion, and that's just one lineage.

Rogue: and what skivvies does Underryu wear? :confused:

UNDERRYUS! :D

KC Elbows

10-16-2002, 02:04 PM

Yes, it's the fatherland. However, the wing chun thing was a joke. No need to be a total nazi about it.:D

African Tiger

10-16-2002, 02:44 PM

Shaolin Student enters what he thinks is a BJJ school.

He sees sweaty men wearing tights, rolling around on the floor with other men. One man, lying on the ground and bleeding profusely, bears a slight resemblance to Ralek. The Shaolin Student becomes nauseous.

RALEK: What the hell do you want? I'm in the middle of teaching this guys BJJ.

SS: I wanted....to cross train in --

RALEK: Well take off your clothes and go get a joystick!