Shaolin
10-09-2001, 01:52 PM
We come in the middle of an arguement between Horce Gracie (a 35 year old male and a 20 year practitioner of BJJ who has won numerous NHB comps. and now has a plastic elbow and ankle, 2 scoped knees, 3 pins in his right hand, a back brace, and a plate in his head all from NHB comps.) and Bruce Wannabe (a 30 year old male who's done every kung fu style in the word since he was 3, takes lots of pictures in his cool looking chinese clothes, doesn't lift weights, doesn't spar, only practices on how good he looks doing his forms, has never been in a fight in his life, and refuses to do any type of NHB and being quoted saying " NHB comps are for barbarians " )argueing who's a better fighter.
Horse: Your kung fu's worthless.
Bruce: Ya, well you couldn' fight your way outta a wet paper bag.
Horse: Are you crazy, I'm the greatest NHB fighter in the world, I've won more championship than years you been alive boy.
Bruce: That don't mean nuthin, you fight in a dog cage on a wrestling mat; might as well be a bed matress as soft and cushie as it is, you get out there and it looks like two guys foreplayin and lovin each other...
Horse: Wait, who are you to talk, you kung fu guys do nuthin be dance around and practice your choreographed forms, and then convince your brain washed students that there's "hidden applications" and that it's an effective fighting system.
Bruce: Ya, well, if NHB really was NHB then why do you have so many rules, could it be so you big bad roid boys don't break a nail, hum?
Horse: No! It's so we...shut up! Ya I saw two kung fu guys playin patty cake yesterday, they called it chi sao and pushing hands, they said it was a sensitivity drill. I told them it looked like they were feelin each other up.
Bruce: You think your so smart and funny (Bruce stikes a really cool looking kung fu pose). If your that smart you'd know that I could kill you effortlessly 147 different ways from this one stance.
Horse: (Horse tries to point at Bruce but his arm is too over developed to lift, if you look closely Horse hasn't been able to wipe his own butt for 10 years, that's not a tan on his back) Don't even think about it boy I'm Horse Gracie the greatest NHB fighter ever in the world.
Bruce: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Just then Bruce throws a kick towards Horse and misses trowing himself off balance and landing on his face. Bruce get's up starts pouting because he got dirty, and dusts himself off.
Horse: Ahhhahahaha! I'm so good I didn't even have to move, you kicked your own tail. Ahhhahahaha!
Bruce hits another really cool looking kung fu pose.
Bruce: Now your gonna pay spandex man. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Bruce again throws another kick at Horse's knee. Double "CRACK"! Bruce smashes threw Horse's knee, both men fall to the ground. Horse's knee is folded back 90% the wrong way, Bruce (who has never kicked anything but air before, and has done no body conditioning) has shattered his entire leg. Both men lay on the ground screaming like children. :mad:
Pain is weakness leaving the body.
Horse: Your kung fu's worthless.
Bruce: Ya, well you couldn' fight your way outta a wet paper bag.
Horse: Are you crazy, I'm the greatest NHB fighter in the world, I've won more championship than years you been alive boy.
Bruce: That don't mean nuthin, you fight in a dog cage on a wrestling mat; might as well be a bed matress as soft and cushie as it is, you get out there and it looks like two guys foreplayin and lovin each other...
Horse: Wait, who are you to talk, you kung fu guys do nuthin be dance around and practice your choreographed forms, and then convince your brain washed students that there's "hidden applications" and that it's an effective fighting system.
Bruce: Ya, well, if NHB really was NHB then why do you have so many rules, could it be so you big bad roid boys don't break a nail, hum?
Horse: No! It's so we...shut up! Ya I saw two kung fu guys playin patty cake yesterday, they called it chi sao and pushing hands, they said it was a sensitivity drill. I told them it looked like they were feelin each other up.
Bruce: You think your so smart and funny (Bruce stikes a really cool looking kung fu pose). If your that smart you'd know that I could kill you effortlessly 147 different ways from this one stance.
Horse: (Horse tries to point at Bruce but his arm is too over developed to lift, if you look closely Horse hasn't been able to wipe his own butt for 10 years, that's not a tan on his back) Don't even think about it boy I'm Horse Gracie the greatest NHB fighter ever in the world.
Bruce: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Just then Bruce throws a kick towards Horse and misses trowing himself off balance and landing on his face. Bruce get's up starts pouting because he got dirty, and dusts himself off.
Horse: Ahhhahahaha! I'm so good I didn't even have to move, you kicked your own tail. Ahhhahahaha!
Bruce hits another really cool looking kung fu pose.
Bruce: Now your gonna pay spandex man. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Bruce again throws another kick at Horse's knee. Double "CRACK"! Bruce smashes threw Horse's knee, both men fall to the ground. Horse's knee is folded back 90% the wrong way, Bruce (who has never kicked anything but air before, and has done no body conditioning) has shattered his entire leg. Both men lay on the ground screaming like children. :mad:
Pain is weakness leaving the body.