silly self-defence clips

[Kinjit]

gimme a break!

"self-defence" (http://www.teatergatan.nu/film/filmer.htm)

[The Willow Sword]

dont you know that This is how they actually fight in Germany? out of nowhere that eerie music plays as well.
i especially liked the women in red coming to the aid of that other woman being tickled by that guy in the woods.
Tickle bandits are rampant in germany AND MUST BE STOPPED!!

[red5angel]

Most self defense clips, classes, seminars and whatever else, aren't. While they may pass over watching out for darkalleys and being aware of your environment and such they tend to go straight to confidence building self defense techniiqes and about 99% of those are crap.

The stuff they pass over is the stuff they should be going over in detail because if it gets to the point where an attacker has you, then its hit or miss as to what might work!

[Felipe Bido]

Not only they're useless, but dangerous as well. The guy counting the money could have his neck broken in no time if he tries to do that technique in a real situation. And he will be helping to have his own neck broken, too.

And WTF is up with the knife?

[Sharky]

They were ****ing fantastic, in my opinion. The music is what made the magic.

Everyone could learn a lot from these.

[Stacey]

Wow, do these have anything to do with martial arts?

That red suited superwoman just pushed the guy over.

Other ones they simply turn out and run away.

Any 6 year old can do this.

Its a good thing they don't have contact sports in that country. In a country like the US or Australia where they have rugby, aussie rules football or american football, the attacker might be inclined to run (which he could do because he wasn't wearing such tight pants) and then tackle the victim.

[Godzilla]

i only get audio and no images. How can i see the images?

[PHILBERT]

Update Media Player

[PHILBERT]

I guess people in Germany can not run unless they are being attacked and for some reason the attacker can not persue.

[KC Elbows]

So, correct me if I'm wrong.

Germany is no place to run for exercise.

However, it's ideal terrain for running away from attackers.

The heavy woman ran.

The attacker came out and dragged her into the woods to sort of mount her and slap her. Germany is a terrifying place.

The woman in red saved her, but continued jogging straight into two guys just crouched in the path in non-jogging clothes, who she then proceeded to escape.

Only to run into them again, crouched in much the same way. Unfortunately, they weren't ready, and she drove them to the ground this time.

Next, The man in the vest is in the parking lot, ostensibly looking for Mr. Right, when he is attacked in the most docile knifing ever. He manages to survive this and several other attempts.

Then, the biking woman comes out. The man in the vest attacks her, undoubtedly fearing that she'll steal Mr. Right from him, yet she escapes.

Then, there's this store with no counter, I think it's mr. vest again, and there's more knife silliness, culminating in double knife silliness. Apparently, the attacker was only willing to use one of those knives.

It is only in these final segments is it revealed that mr. vest is none other than Michael Keaton.

[Kinjit]

Well, I wish I could say these guys are german, but unfortunately they are swedish. This branch of "swedish jiujitsu" is pretty big here. They advocate "humane" self-defence which causes little or no pain for the attacker. A rather irresponsible mindset to teach, especially for women, in my opinion.

[Sharky]

um... i was gonna say, why does everyone think they're german?

i thought everyone knew something i didn't.

turns out, you were all just american.

[Stacey]

I knew they werent German, I just didn't know if it was Norge, Swedish or Danish.


the little circles over the letters and the bad German grammer tipped me off.




Sharky, I couldn't agree more. I hate, hate hate it when 5th generation americans are like "Well I'm half Irish and half English and a Quarter Welsh and a Little Nowegian and dutch"

Hesoos H Christo, your a white American. Get over it.

I love it when they say they are Norwegian and I ask them about gun control, abortion and taxation and it turn out that their views are opposite what the rest of Norway's are.

[joedoe]

Wow they were all incredibly bad.

[Sharky]

^^^ he's a computer programmer don't you know

[cha kuen]

Those clips are funny!


**kung fu books*** (http://cgi6.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=taichimaster06&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25)

[OneStrike]

That stuff is fantastic.

There must be some kind of high level mind control involved that makes the attackers allow themselves to be led around without resisting.

[The Willow Sword]

They are swedes. isnt pot legal there? maybe this is what it is like in a pot smoking country. the attacks are very sluggishly done and the escapes are very non chalant. Because when are smoking the best pot(legal pot that is ) you are in slow motion all the time. they run on speed 33 on the record player as we american are on speed 45 or 78 on the record player.
(i dont think they got that one )

[Former castleva]

"It is only in these final segments is it revealed that mr. vest is none other than Michael Keaton."

WHAT?
I only saw one of those clips because of their size but I need to hear more about this one,seriously.
:) :confused:

[KC Elbows]

Download the last two clips, either of them. Mr. Mom is one bad@ss swede, or whatever he is.

Gosh, I hope I got the nationality right, or else Sharky and Stacey might get upset.:rolleyes: :p :D

BTW, I'm half German, 1/4 Irish, and 1/4 scottish.

"I love it when they say they are Norwegian and I ask them about gun control, abortion and taxation and it turn out that their views are opposite what the rest of Norway's are."

I had no idea that norwegians expected such high uniformity of politics. They're pretty hardcore.;)

[Zbloff]

U might wanna go to holland for legal pot...well at least both countries are located in northern europe.

Read an survey on geography-knowledge in different countries... I take it you're american ;)

[WTJune]

@ sharky: whats wrong with a programmer ?

... you guys mix european countrys like ****tails ...
... german language looks like this: "Ich bin aus Österreich, nicht aus Deutschland, nicht aus Schweden und kiffen ist nur in Holland nicht illegal"

as far as i know in the netherlands (Holland) potsmoking is not illegal what is diffrent to legal - but i think this only counts for amstadam.

Ciao and greeting from Austria (<> Switzerland <> Australia)




June
http://www.mp3.com/misbegotten

[Stacey]

willow, I think you hit it with a money shot.

Thats pot combat.

[Sharky]

"They are swedes. isnt pot legal there?"

Americans :rolleyes:

[Stacey]

Sharky, you do realize that we as american don't have any idea where Sweden is. Isn't it that little island off the South East coast of India? Where Arthur C. Clark lived. You know....Sweden.

I'm sure Pot is legal there. Its used for their religion.

[David]

It may come as a suprise to learn that Goteborg (Gothenburg) is Sweden's 2nd city. Pot is far from legal there; the penalties are very stiff compared to most countries.

If you're gonna rule the world from America, at least do it right.:rolleyes:

-David

PS Red tracksuits are the uniform of the municipal life-guards in Sweden. Think Baywatch in parks.

[red5angel]

The more I watch these clips the more ****ed off I get!!! These fukkin idiots are just asking to ge some chick killed when she decides all she has to do when two men grab her is slam them together like they do in the three stooges, or maybe just push an attacker over and look down menacingly at him for a moment before running away.
What I think we should do is organize a group to go over to Germany and spend a week ambushing these people at random and seeing if these techniques really work!

[Akuma]

Originally posted by red5angel
What I think we should do is organize a group to go over to Germany and spend a week ambushing these people at random and seeing if these techniques really work!

I agree. Geez ne1 could make a pathetic set of clips like that. Heck the guy basically gave him the knife in that shop clip....i mean lol, wtf are those fools thinking...no wait...who could possibly be gullible enough to believe that stuff would work as presented in the clips?

[Former castleva]

"The more I watch these clips the more ****ed off I get!!! These fukkin idiots are just asking to ge some chick killed when she decides all she has to do when two men grab her is slam them together like they do in the three stooges, or maybe just push an attacker over and look down menacingly at him for a moment before running away.
What I think we should do is organize a group to go over to Germany and spend a week ambushing these people at random and seeing if these techniques really work!"
I watched that clip.
At least she did not grab them both by the back of their necks and slam their heads together... :p ;)
Batman,Hercules etc. style.

And Sweden is right behind the corner.

[fa_jing]

Sweden?? IS that near Mexico? 'cause I sure would like to make it down to Baja.

[red5angel]

Sweden is a city in australia isnt it?

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

"I'm sure Pot is legal there. Its used for their religion."

lol

[eulerfan]

Originally posted by Godzilla
i only get audio and no images. How can i see the images?

Click on the pictures, not the words below them.

[Kinjit]

In the commentary for the first clip, the interviewer asks if it's really that easy to overcome the adversary, to which the instructor confidently replies: "Yes, it is _always_ simple if you know what to do"...:rolleyes:

[Akuma]

Originally posted by red5angel
Sweden is a city in australia isnt it?

nah:o

[rubthebuddha]

you guys need to realize that america is the center of it all, and this is how we view the world:

http://www.msxnet.org/humour/america

(not surprisingly, a canadian friend sent that to me, but since gene won't let us post pics, have the link instead).