Golem does BJJ

[MightyB]

Seriously,

Watch the Two Towers. When Golem tries to steal the ring, Frodo and Sam Wise try to stop him and he goes into BJJ mode. Check the perfect rear naked strangle he puts on Sam Wise before Frodo forces him to yield with Sting.

[SevenStar]

yeah, I caught that too. See? Grappling was even around in middle earth! :D

The fighter that had the best skill to me though, was Legolas.

[MightyB]

Legolis was an Elf Ninja Kung Fu monk.

Loved all the Elven archers. I'd say Gandolf was the baddest of the bad@sses though. Heck, he was falling to his death, did he scream and flail like a chump? Heck no. He grabbed his sword and decided to skull fek the demon a little on the way down just for one last hurrah. He had no idea he'd live. Plus, in the woods, the entire fellowship was nothing to him, including Legolis.

[Chang Style Novice]

I have no idea how they did that horse mounting trick. That was too much.

[red5angel]

CST, computer imaging, watch it closely....

MightyB, have you read the books? Gandalf is aware that he is semi-immortal, he even mentions how long he has been around in the movie. He is a servant of "god" I can't remember th ename of "god" offhand but it starts with an A. I think he knew he would live but you still have to give him props for fighting the whole way down!!!

[yenhoi]

Gandalf is a superbeing mentioned in the Song of Creation, at the beggining of time. A Balrog is a demon created by another one of those super beings.

This thread has now been officially turned into a LoTR Geek thread.

:eek:

[yenhoi]

Not to spoil the third movie, but in movie lore, Gandalf probably lived for the same reason Gollum, Elrond, Galadriel, and Bilbo lived so long - not to mention Frodo being stuck with a trident or whatnot. :D

[red5angel]

Yenhoi, not to be a nitpicky geek but I don't see where Elrond and Gandalf, and Galadriel would have lived for the same reasons, Bilbo and Gollum. for those it was the ring, for the former it was their nature. Elves are immortal and Gandalf is nigh immortal....

[KC Elbows]

Also, to reveal the true depths of my geekdom. balrogs, sauron, Saruman, and Gandalf are all maiar, basically lesser angels. They were all created by the creator of middle earth, and initially were fair. Sauron and the balrogs fell from grace and were twisted by this, thus becoming monstrous.

Hold on, I have to get back to stalking Gwyneth Paltrow.

[SevenStar]

here's something by a guy who apparently loved the first movie :rolleyes:

50 reasons why LOTR sucks (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html)

I don't think any of you are true ubergeeks though. If you were, you would be able to speak dwarvish and elvish (http://uib.no/People/hnohf/)

I have a quetion though.... the elves are supposed to be immortal, right? so How did all of those elves die at Helms deep?

[Mojo]

This is old news.
Everybody knows that GJJ stands for Gollum Jiu Jitsu.

[MightyB]

I assumed that the elves live forever if left alone, but could be killed by artificial means.

So what is the answer Ubergeeks?

[KC Elbows]

I don't know what the question is, but in Tolkein's universe, elves who married mortals could choose mortality. I believe Elrond is one such elf, though I can't quite recall.

However, yes, elves could be killed by artificial means, but did not age or become diseased.

However, gandalf, in coming to middle earth, was given mortal form in order to limit his power and the sort of trouble he could cause, much the same as Saruman. Though his form was, to an extent, ageless, that form could be killed.

[IronFist]

Originally posted by yenhoi
A Balrog is a demon created by another one of those super beings.


Balrog is the name of the Boxer in the American version of Street Fighter II.

Oh yeah, that guys list of 50 things that sucked... some of them are wrong.

IronFist

[red5angel]

Yeah, the Elves are immortal but they can be killed. KC, When did Elrond marry a mortal?!
Maiar!! that was the word I was looking for!!

[SevenStar]

yeah, that top 50 list sucked. You can tell he hasn't read the books. the rest was just ignorant. He did pose one decent question though - how is it that the ring was able to fit sauron's form and the hobbit form? surely sauron's hands weren't the same size as a hobbit's...

[taijiquan_student]

In the first movie, when Sauron is defeated and the king of men (forget the name) gets the ring, you see the ring shrink to fit around his finger. I guess the ring is one size fits all, and adjusts itself to the bearer.

[ZIM]

Nah, R5- the word you were looking for was Iluvatar, or Eru, the one. They were all monotheists...He creates the Ainur (the chief of which were the Valar) and their servants were the Maiar....5 wizards total, of which only 3 are mentioned, called the Istari, who came over in the third age....

Elves can die in combat or by "broken hearts" -the wusses. Thats why its so nasty for Arwen to stay behind. Elrond was the brother of Elros, son of Elwing, who in turn was a daughter of Luthien, daughter of Thingol [original elf] and Melian [a Maiar]. Thus he's part divine, part elf, part human.

The descendants of Elros later ruled Gondor and Arnor, so that makes Aragorn a cousin nth times removed from Arwen.

Yawn. :) I wish I couldn't remember all that stuff sometimes...what a wasted youth...:D

[KC Elbows]

Same here Zim.

However, one clarification. There were more maiar than five. The istari were specifically those maiar who took human form and were sent over to combat Sauron. There were numerous other maiar who were not part of the istari, the balrogs among them, not to mention Sauron himself. Thus, the comment about Gandalf becoming a Dark Lord himself.

However, you are correct on Elrond. i couldn't remember why they called him Elrond Half-Elf. I was thinking he married the human, but you're right.

[yenhoi]

red5: gandalf wears one the the 3 elven rings of power.

and thanks to kc and others who went where this geek was afraid to go. :D

at least we would all pass the 'Tolkien' course at Oxford. And there is one, btw. :eek:

[Serpent]

Originally posted by yenhoi
red5: gandalf wears one the the 3 elven rings of power.

and thanks to kc and others who went where this geek was afraid to go. :D

at least we would all pass the 'Tolkien' course at Oxford. And there is one, btw. :eek:

I passed the tokin' course at college. Does that count?

[Chang Style Novice]

"I passed the tokin' course at college. Does that count?"

interviewer: "Are you willing to take a pre-employment drug test?"

me: "Sure, is it essay or multiple choice?"

Fortunately by that point in the interview I'd already decided I didn't want that job (it was a telemarketing scam.)

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Chang Style Novice
interviewer: "Are you willing to take a pre-employment drug test?"



"Sure, you want me to roll a good joint or something?"

[SevenStar]

Originally posted by taijiquan_student
In the first movie, when Sauron is defeated and the king of men (forget the name) gets the ring, you see the ring shrink to fit around his finger. I guess the ring is one size fits all, and adjusts itself to the bearer.

I wonder why I don't remember that... I'll have to watch it again.

[chinggong]

I think Elrond was a half-elf.

I thought Gandalf was one of the Istari?

[yenhoi]

Someone already explained why they called Elrond half-elven in the book.

Also, 7*, it is mentioned many times that the ring grows and shrinks as it needs to, part of its ability and desire and power to get back to its maker. (It grew to slip off gollum, etc, Gandalf explains this in The Fellowship.)

[JAZA]

Uf, and I think I know something about Tolkien

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

how the hell did you guys manage to read the simarillion? i guess colege makes sence cause the fu ckin thing reads like a text book. i made it to page 30 before putting it down for good.

[Laughing Cow]

GDA.

Was easy for me after:
The Gilgamesh Epos
The Edda
The Bhagavad-Gita
Cicero
and similar works.

Thanks, god for a classical education.
;) ;)

[SevenStar]

I'm gonna have to read the books again...

[ZIM]

No, 7* don't do it! I see them around my neighborhood, those Tolkien addicts...They all got big pumpkin heads, hanging out at used bookstores, jonesing for a little "phant-uh-sey"...then they get into D&D and its all over....:D

KC- yes, I wasn't clear...Istari were part of the maiar, not the only ones. Also, I forgot Dior, but why complicate matters more? Oh, and that Elrond is the son-in-law to Galadriel...heheheh

The ring does shift sizes. All of the other rings were first made by the elves under Sauron's instruction & not all of them are accounted for. Gandalf is Istari [an order within the maiar], so he's immortal- it was just a question of whether he'd come back. He likes fire- kind of makes him stronger, like godzilla in water or something. :p

The top 50 list was funny becoz it was so ignorant. :) And I thought Gollum looked like he did monkey stylee anyhow...I mean, look at the backflip he did! And the starting stance?

A golem is a Jewish thing. :) Its made of clay and has the name of God on its forehead. Oy, vey! Vy should they vant a ring? Bagels, maybe?

Disclaimer: I don't speak any of the languages of Middle Earth. Thank God. :D

[SevenStar]

Have you guys actually read that link I posted about speaking elvish? He's a true geek... He goes very in depth about the languages, the differences between this one and list references if you want to further your study.

ZIM, too late :( I just got the simarillion, the hobbit and LotR trilogy on amazon (the big 1216 page leather edition) *sigh* I feel my head swelling

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0395193958/ref=pd_sim_books_3/102-3592785-2044925?v=glance&s=books

[Cipher]

I went out and saw the movie last night. I think I liked it better than the first one, it had some good battle scenes, I liked the battle at the end the best, that would have made a great game battle sim fight.
The 50 things that suck list was definatly a joke, either that or the guy really has no clue what is going on. I mean one comment was about the DVD's having thick black bars on the top and bottom, LOL. And that the movie copies the Orc's in Warcraft:rolleyes:

If he was serious then he is an idiot.

[ZIM]

One of his points was that there was a kind of racism going on. Black/white blah blah. pointless, but I wrote earlier on this a little, just x-posting it here:

"Did you notice the men over by the Black Gates- they were Easterlings, dressed in oriental garb. The story takes place in the western half of middle earth, and they come from the other side of Mordor. They are based on Indian/Arab/Chinese cultures, with oliphaunts and cool weapons. Some might feel that this constitutes a kind of racist commentary, but more to the point is that they are in the stories at all...Tolkien said they had their own tales, he just didn't write them."

Yes, the stories are a little white, but I've not met any african americans who were upset about it. Seems they've got brains & sense, while the 'critic' does not. :)

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

i couldnt bring myself to read the rest of the list after the first 10. im suprised he didnt include tolkiens utter disrespect for the usa in naming the book he wrote in the 20s the twin towers.

[Chang Style Novice]

If you look over the rest of the guy's site, it becomes very clear that the top 50 list is a joke. I thought it was clear from the list itelf.

As for the Silmarillion, if I'm going to read a long, dry piece of historical narrative, it's going to be about the history of THIS world, gawrshdangit! It's like my man Jason says - why watch the West Wing? Better to spend your time keeping tabs on the guy who's decisions effect the US that we live in.

Altogether, while I don't think Tolkien's stories are racist, I do appreciate David Brin's analysis (http://www.kithrup.com/brin/tolkienarticle1.html) that takes a look at some of the inherently authoritarian and classist presumptions of most of the fantasy genre. It's clear the guy has an ax to grind (I think his statements about Shelley are particularly offbase), but it's a good and thought provoking read just the same.

[SevenStar]

okay, now we're leaving geekdom and going into intellectual stuff... Some of us will have to bow out of this thread now! :D

[ZIM]

But its only GEEK intellectualism. You can hang. :D

[KC Elbows]

Zim's right. It's only a matter of time before it breaks down into an argument over who the cutest SceenSavers girl is.

[Rolling Elbow]

silly Gollem..I think we all saw him go into BJJ mode. Unfortunately, if you tuck your neck to stave off the strangel..you can sometimes go for the ankle twist/lock/or break on the opponent who has so carelessly left his legs there for you!!

Silly Smeagol, BJJ is for kids!

[yenhoi]

Give him a break man, he is used to not being seen, at all. :eek:

[Rolling Elbow]

True.. I also forgot his raizor sharp teeth, his tendency to bite at the neck, and his super human strength from constantly walking on all fours... statement withdrawn.

[MightyB]

Gollum didn't cross his ankles, so the ankle lock would be tough to do. Gollum is a good BJJer, he probably learned it from video games and a CD Rom.

[NorthernMantis]

Originally posted by Cipher
I went out and saw the movie last night. I think I liked it better than the first one, it had some good battle scenes, I liked the battle at the end the best, that would have made a great game battle sim fight.



Of course it is it came out on the ps2!

[Rolling Elbow]

WAIT A MINUTE! I could have sworn he crossed his ankles..or was i just telling myself that gollum was smart NOT to cross his ankles when i saw it? I am confused and will therefore have to go see the movie again next week in order to answer the question..it is possible that he transitions from locked legs to open which is perfectly aceptable if he is using it to squeeze the air or ribs out of that fat Hobbit Sam!!!!

[Rolling Elbow]

cause frodo always has that gay glimmer in his eyes and they never seem to talk about female hobbits or any of the hot human or elves that they see..... so yeah, they've got to be gay.

[yenhoi]

Not true. In the first few chapters of the first book, hobbit females are mentioned many, many times. Again at the end, during and after the scouring of the shire. Many elf women and human women are also mentioned for their beauty etc. Samwise has a fancy for a certain goldilocks, right? :eek:

[MightyB]

"why do the Hobbits always look like they are going to start making out with each other?"

That's for the sucka's that buy the pan and scan DVDs that aren't widescreen. They have to be close, otherwise they wouldn't both fit on a regular 4*3 television. (How's that for geek knowledge?)


Gollum might've crossed his ankles. That settles it, I have to see it again (any excuse to see it again will do).

[Chang Style Novice]

Totally gay Lord of the Rings fan fiction. Also totally hilarious. (http://www.cynicsteaparty.com/04/vsds_lord_of_the_rings_pt_i.shtml)

[neptunesfall]

that is the funniest s hit ever CSN. LMAO

"Suspect b itch-slap fight brewing between Galadriel and Legolas as to which of them can nance around better"

[rubthebuddha]

chang style, your are a stud-and-a-half. i hope many a chocolate-chip cookie come into your life soon.

[Chang Style Novice]

(courtseys)

[Stacey]

As to the gay theory a friend of mine who is gay told me he read that the whole thing is ****erotic.

They are avoiding a giant eye that looks like a vagina.

They are constanty avoiding woman's company to go off in bands of men. To quote my platonic friend, "Did you see how Legolas looked at Aragorn?" "How about that end scene with Frodo, it was sappy, I was thinking, Kiss and strip already."

thats his theory,


After reading norse mythology, I can say that its all stolen from norse mythology. Tolken was the puff daddy of his day. The broken sword...its from the race of the Volkuns. Siguurd. Rings of power, mountains with dragons in them. Norse tales are the best on Earth in my opinion.

Siguurd (or maybe his son) was trained by a guy just like Gandalf, but he had a really lame name. He hunted in the woods to learn the arts from this human who was as old as the race fo men.