I learned something today

[Merryprankster]

Today, as I walked out of my conditioning session, I was approached by a fellow who looked like a fat version of Kid Rock.

He asked if I trained upstairs and if I was "knowledgeable about the arts."

I told him the truth--that I knew some thai boxing and BJJ, but that he really needed to talk to my instructor. We bandied about a bit, but it came down to this:

When he lived in Vegas, he learned a style from a little chinese man (his words). The first three years, he learned how to heal "internal bruises, external bruises, bone setting, etc."

Now, I have no problem with this... but I could see where this was leading....

He then proceeded to tell me he learned 136 pressure points that would instantly paralyze and/or kill a man and that no fight he'd been in had lasted longer than 7.7 seconds. I presume because he paralyzed or killed his opponents.

It must have been hard to find training partners. I was tempted to go up with him and see if he needed a demonstration.

What I learned, is this: Idiocy of this sort is not limited to "dirty, stinky hippies." :D

[edited to get my real point across]

[dnc101]

Originally posted by Merryprankster
What I learned, is this: Idiocy of this sort is not limited to dirty, stinky hippies.

:) :D :rolleyes:

You are right about that. Martial ats attracts a lot of wackos, mouth boxers. It was the same when I worked emergency services. We tried to not wear our uniforms into public places unless actually on a call. You wouldn't believe the idiots that would attract, or some of the questions and stories we got. Firearms are a good example of where to find a lot of idiocy and misinformation with the right wing crowd.

[SevenStar]

you shoulda asked him for a demo. you also shoulda asked him who just sat around and timed his fights.

[Merryprankster]

Yeah. I prolly shoulda... but you know, I just find it counterproductive to do that kinda stuff now. I'm mellowing out. And I saw no reason to **** off a potential customer for my instructor, no matter how slight a probability.

[Suntzu]

dont say nothin when u get paralyzed by the 136 point strike or the 100 pace palm... hmmmm... am i the only one that really really wanna watch Fist of the White Lotus right now??? 50 KFO bucks if u can tell me what the prequel to FotWL was...

[eulerfan]

No, no, no, no. You have to play his game. Tell him that you know 256 pressure points that will instantly kill or paralyze a man and that your fights generaly last 3.14 seconds. When you have finally learned all 393 pressure points, your fights will all last exactly pi seconds and your fights will all fit precisely into the circle of life.

[Nevermind]

A fat version of Kid Rock? Maybe it's just me, but the image I'm getting could easily be described as a "dirty, stinky, hippy". Sounds to me like he's perpetuating that stereotype rather than dispelling it, MP. :D

Yeah, I would also like to know how he came up with such an exact number for the length of his fights. Funny story!

[Nevermind]

I want my money, Sun Tzu! :D

[Suntzu]

:D :D :D ... hey what's that?!?!?! *runnin away*:D

[Xebsball]

Originally posted by Merryprankster
He then proceeded to tell me he learned 136 pressure points that would instantly paralyze and/or kill a man and that no fight he'd been in had lasted longer than 7.7 seconds. I presume because he paralyzed or killed his opponents.

LOL :D

[JOHNNY]

what is a colonol?:D did you mean colonel. just messing with you.
johnny:D

[dezhen2001]

sounds like u did the right thing :) man some people can be schmucks!

dawood

[diego]

Originally posted by Nevermind
:D

Yeah, I would also like to know how he came up with such an exact number for the length of his fights. Funny story!

Stillness within movement!. He operates on another plane, like neo he can pause gunfire!.

[LeeCasebolt]

No, no, no, no. You have to play his game. Tell him that you know 256 pressure points that will instantly kill or paralyze a man and that your fights generaly last 3.14 seconds. When you have finally learned all 393 pressure points, your fights will all last exactly pi seconds and your fights will all fit precisely into the circle of life.

I am so stealing this.

Lee Casebolt

[JOHNNY]

Originally posted by ghthomason


Sorry...I have spastic-colon on the brain...too much ice cream yesterday.
those suck!!!:)
johnny

[Former castleva]

ghthmason,
excellent story.
Some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen around here.
:D

[Merryprankster]

LOL @eulerfan! :D

So I went back to train this evening, and the guy told my instructor that he had a friend that trained BJJ, but that his pressure point attacks nullified everything his friend tried to do.

He also said he was going to start training with us. If he does well....


Oh dear.

[SevenStar]

LOL, sounds like he just hung himself. Keep us posted.

[friday]

MP

u really do have to tell us what happens if he actually does train with u guys :).

friday

[NorthernMantis]

Originally posted by Suntzu
dont say nothin when u get paralyzed by the 136 point strike or the 100 pace palm... hmmmm... am i the only one that really really wanna watch Fist of the White Lotus right now??? 50 KFO bucks if u can tell me what the prequel to FotWL was...

Easy shaolin executioners!Wheres the money?!

[NorthernMantis]

lol @ mp. Unfortunately I happened to meet a lot of those. To tell the truth I don't know which is worse. The ones that make up fairy tales or the ones that think they are better and tell you how to use your style when they don't know jack squat about it. :D

[rogue]

I'm hurt that you think I look like an over weight Kid Rock. I'm just big boned.:mad:

[Merryprankster]

I didn't say overweight. I said fat. Get it right.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

for real tubby.

[Xebsball]

heh... skinny people of kfo :p

[TjD]

im not skinny! just small boned


sigh, 6' and 155 lbs :( but the ladies love my lankiness!


my favorite story was of this one guy who called himself MMA. he showed up to our school for about a week. We would do simple applications and he'd try to go off sparring on people. claimed he had done about 50 or so styles (i assume he only did those for a week before he got kicked out or shown up as well), saying with all the techniques he had learned, he could handle any fighting situation. ugh. laid him on his ass once when he tried to backkick during a punching drill. he didnt stay around long - big loss.

instead of being all "i'll kill you with the 100 pressure points i've learned", he was a big bag of i'll kill you with the 1000 techinques i've learned from going to every school in the area and staying one week!" blah

every style has people who give it a bad name... use CMA people have the pressure point hippies, those MMA people have the "never learn anything but goto every school" hippies

both of em suck :eek:

[Merryprankster]

Yeah, we used to have this guy who'd come down to fight from NJ. He wasn't all there, I don't think. Anyway, we used to use him as a tune-up fight for our guys before they actually stepped into the ring. He'd trained about a week at about 1000 different places.

When he came down, it was pretty funny. He tried to do a spinning high kick and fell over. He was listening to deathmetal trying to "psyche up," in our private room, I guess, and all sorts of bloodcurdling noises were coming out. We were like WTF?! Then he comes out and wants to be all "animal like," or something so he went after the grappling dummy to try and pick it up and throw it across the room. A grappling dummy is about 150 lbs of dead, awkward weight. He tried to lift it to throw it, couldn't, dragged it a coupled of feet and then sort of tossed it to the side.


However, the last time he got knocked out he got knocked out for so long that we won't let him back to play.

[rogue]

Where do people get the idea that sport fighting schools are full of maniacs beating the hell out of each other? Don't they realize how dangerous this is and that it's not a game?

[Excession]

Fruitcakes i've trained with...

Guy who always had a dirty gi. Always to the same degree. How he got that right, I don't know. When we were sparring he bit me.

Young guy at a seminar who explained his sparring techniques. Can't remember what it's called, but it involved being in the air parallel to the floor and kicking.(Butterfly kick?) Apparently very effective. His Sifu then explained how to catch someones arm when they jabbed. Involved stepping in and grabbing the arm before it was retracted.

Old guy who could hardly see, eventually stopped because of this, was hard as nails and had a point to prove about being tough. No vision, no pain for him mean't even if he'd meant to control his strikes there wasn't any control.

Um......I'll think of more....

[red5angel]

I would have had him show me a pressure point and when he touched me I would have dropped to the ground in spastic convulsions and screaming, also spitting, spitting is realistic...... Hopefuly by thinking he accidentally killed me with his touch of death, he would stop bragging so much publicly.... or something.