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View Full Version : Step right up folks, get your RANK, yes Real Rank,



Taomonkey
01-08-2003, 11:18 AM
Yes sir'e bob, get your 1st degree, your 5th degree, 10th degree Grandmaster, name your own art. heck we'll even throw in a real wax seal on silver ribbon signed by Joe Somebody.

Train for decades with some old asian who didnt believe in rank. or did your teacher die before your test?

Got this email today, now how did he know I was a "legitimate martial arts instructor"?

From: Jeff Schimmel <jeglosa@DIRECTVInternet.com>
Date: Tue Jan 07, 2003 11:53:02 AM US/Pacific
To:
Subject:

dear sir or madam,
please read this information, because it is about an item you may be interested in obtaining. i am writing to you because i have done some preliminary research and found that you are a legitimate martial arts instructor. my wife is filipino, and she urged me to include the traditional filipino martial arts in my list of instructors i would be reaching out to with emails. this email campaign has been very successful with instructors from every style, all around the country. if YOU or your FELLOW INSTRUCTORS need a fully custom made certificate to verify your rank in any given style of martial arts, the i.c.m.a.f. organization can now provide it! this item is NOT listed in any catalog
and is NOT AVAILABLE to the public. it is NOT one of those cheap blank certificates sold in supply shops. let me give you some background on myself. i was a martial arts student and instructor for many years, in karate, tae kwon do and wing chun kung fu, and some of the teachers i studied with DID NOT believe in or use rank, belts or certificates of any kind. now that i am older, i wanted something to prove my achievements, and that is how i came across the i.c.m.a.f., which stands for the INTER-CONTINENTAL MARTIAL ARTS FOUNDATION. also, some of the
martial artists i am acquainted with have LOST their rank certification over the years during relocation or due to other damage. the i.c.m.a.f. GUARANTEES their certificates are 100% custom designed and printed on textured paper, listing all pertinent information, and SIGNED BY BOTH the chairman of the i.c.m.a.f. and the MASTER INSTRUCTOR in the style "family" requested. the master also affixes a personal silver wax seal
and ribbon on the certificate. since you are already listed as a
legitimate instructor, the master of that style family at the
i.c.m.a.f. would be permitted to issue his signature and verify your rank WITHOUT RE-TESTING and WITHOUT JOINING THE i.c.m.a.f. there are NO OTHER CHARGES!!! the certificates are large in size, measuring a full 8" x 10" unframed, or 11" x 14" framed, as shown in the photo. no one else can make an offer this impressive. certificates are only $34.95 plus shipping, and like i said, they are 100% custom made. if you want your certificate PROFESSIONALLY MATTED AND FRAMED FOR IMMEDIATE DISPLAY, as shown in the photo, they are only $69.95 plus shipping. the matting and framing alone are worth it! if you are interested, please let me know. you can immediately SEE A SAMPLE certificate by CLICKING ON THE
HYPERLINK BELOW:

http://members.DIRECTVInternet.com/jeglosa/ebay/rank2.jpg

thanks!

red5angel
01-08-2003, 11:22 AM
For 34.95$ can we pick our rank? I want Gunnery Seargent....

Chang Style Novice
01-08-2003, 11:39 AM
If I get on an elevator with someone, my rank becomes pretty obvious without any stupid certificate. Especially on hot days.

rubthebuddha
01-08-2003, 12:24 PM
red5 -- we'll just call you gunny from now on. ;)

as for me, i'll take da shifu.



wait, that's been taken. hmmm. perhaps i'll just choose the rank of 8th dan instructor of domokun-ryu jujutsu.

David Jamieson
01-08-2003, 08:48 PM
oooo, I wanna be lord of the tub ring!

...wait a minute, I already am that.

I wanna be Pudding Chief.

Because pudding beats bacon like paper beats rock!

cheers

Serpent
01-08-2003, 08:51 PM
Originally posted by Kung Lek
Because pudding beats bacon like paper beats rock!


You cannot be serious!

Canadians! :rolleyes:

David Jamieson
01-08-2003, 08:58 PM
I like Pudding.

And I like Bacon.

but puddings better...nyah

cheers

Serpent
01-08-2003, 09:16 PM
What about bacon pudding?

desertwingchun2
01-08-2003, 09:28 PM
no way pudding beats bacon .... not now, not tomorrow, not ever !!!!!!
with that said I'll take the rank of SuperDuperSpecialGreatGreatGrandGuruMaster100thDan KingpinMegaMartialArtist - That will look totally sweet in a frame!

TaoBoy
01-08-2003, 10:00 PM
What about pudding sammiches?

Serpent
01-08-2003, 10:02 PM
Originally posted by TaoBoy
What about pudding sammiches?

That's just silly.

TaoBoy
01-08-2003, 10:04 PM
Originally posted by Serpent


That's just silly.

Four words: bread and butter pudding!

Serpent
01-08-2003, 10:11 PM
Originally posted by TaoBoy


Four words: bread and butter pudding!

Bread and butter pudding is divine!

So, ok, I'll have to admit that you have a point there... ;)

Serpent
01-08-2003, 10:12 PM
Mind you, to be fair, that's a sammich pudding not a pudding sammich!

:D

PHILBERT
01-08-2003, 10:42 PM
Can I be Grandmaster of Aiki Pimpjutsu Do Ryu Kung Fu? Or how about Nin Ten Do?

Serpent
01-08-2003, 10:47 PM
Nin Ten Do. LOL.

That's Ralek's style!

:D

SevenStar
01-09-2003, 01:42 AM
I was once a master of both nin ten do and the feared genesis fist.

Colin
01-09-2003, 08:15 AM
I got this too!

Only I thought I had been specially selected because i'm sooooooo good at kung fu!
Yet now I find that they are offering these to any old Tom **** & TaoBoy.

Seriously though, I bet loads of people dutifuly send off their hard earned bucks for one of these funky certificates.

What I'd be interested in is:-
"SIGNED BY BOTH the chairman of the i.c.m.a.f. and the MASTER INSTRUCTOR in the style "family" requested."

I wonder if ???????????

Colin.......