blind dragon style kung fu

[morbicid]

I've recently started training in blind dragon style kung fu. I've been training in Kung Fu for almost a year now and I already feel DEADLY. I'm not trying to brag, but my arms are HUGE now, i'm like over 250 pounds and it's all speed. None of you can even fathom what it's like to take REAL kung fu. I did 2900 punches in my last workout, and I was just getting WARMED UP. At my school, we all get in line and do backflips for like an hour, and then we throw knives at each other and the other guy catches them. It takes a lot of speed so most of you shouldnt even TRY IT. My sensei knows eight different forms of qigong, and has founded his own style of kung fu, called blind dragon, which he only teaches to myself and 3 others... we are the only ones that he trusts to pass on the knowlege correctly. It's a big responsibility. None of you have any idea what it's like to really train in traditional kung fu... like the ancient masters used to. At my school, we have a freezer where we freeze small blocks of ice, about the size of a brick, and smash them with spinning kicks!! If any of you messed with ANYONE from our school, you would get hit with a 540 degree spinning hook kick before you even knew what was going on. I have been reading a lot and have even gotten pretty good at drunken monkey and leaping snake styles.

I feel that I can protect myself from ANY situation now. Some guy tried messing with me at the mall a couple weeks ago, and I SMASHED him in the face with a quick reverse punch. He never knew what hit him. It just goes to show that people who dont know real kung fu should just keep their mouths shut or someone will shut it for them like right away. If any of you want to know what REAL kung fu is like, dont bother even talking to me until you can do 400 push ups in a row and then smash a brick with your bare hands.

[Chang Style Novice]

I liked unstoppable's spider web chi story better.

[dezhen2001]

me 2 CSN, but this has a certain enthusiasm and vibrancy to it :rolleyes:

dawood

[Chang Style Novice]

Yes, as trolls go, this morbicid character has a jaw naw say queer to him.

[neptunesfall]

my hydrocephalic donkey style can beat your blind dragon style.

[Chang Style Novice]

They will all fall before my five evil cartoon genius animals!

Grrr...Zorak Tanglang is invincible!

[SevenStar]

It can't compare to my battle cat panther fist or my cobra commander snake style...

[Chang Style Novice]

I'd counter that with my Mojo Jojo Dojo techniques...

[fiercest tiger]

whats wrong with a reverse fist to the face?

U guys forgot the
hidden trouser snake system
grapes hanging out of a$$ style
You take it in the deaf and dumb pai

these are more higher level and should only be used in gay surroundings!

FT:rolleyes:

[Mr Punch]

This kid is like COOL. His kungfu is like THE BEST. 100% tried and tested, and if you even talk about him with your naked tongue in a whispered monosyllabic code like 8000 miles away in the fog in a cloud NINJA suit his entire school will hunt you down and show you the REAL MEANING OF KUNGFU with their 3600 degree spinning corkscrew kick that drills them into the ground to POP UP behind you and FLIP OUT AND KILL YOUR MOTHERS!



Sorry, not a patch on the REAL THING (TM), I know, but I just fancied my chances for a second...

Is this guy any relation to Robert Hamburger?

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

morbicid ... dude you suck.


search for posts made by a member named ralek and take notes.

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

make me laugh bi tch.

[ShaolinTiger00]

hi KKM!

[Budokan]

My "choke the chicken" style is superior, especially when I integrate the "spank the monkey" moves I learned last summer.

[MightyB]

None of your pathetic styles are even close to my ultra superior Spider Monkey Style that I learned after visiting the Zoo and observing the primates held in captivity there for there is nothing as scary as a captive monkey.

The Spider Monkey Stylist wears nothing but a diaper, and, if attacked, he bares his teath menacingly, screams like a maniac, and flings his own fecies at the attacker. Sometimes this is accompanied by climbling trees and playing with him or herself when little children are watching, but this is a high level technique reserved only for the masters.

[ricksitterly]

face-to-foot style!! Howd u like that?? ~~ Kung Pow

[Serpent]

Dude, you think your style is so great?

Meet me by the fountain in the park at Frederick and I'll kick your ass repeatedly until a cop cycles by!

Punk!

[morbicid]

I'll meet you any time serpent. You'll be clinging to your own buttocks from the pain of the severe as s kicking i'll give you. Then I'll make friends with you afterwards, just so I can trick you into wanting to have make-up sex and I'll painfully sodomize you with my "dragon's lance" muscle ( my pee pee)!!! You'll be walking funny for weeks! I'll show you how blind dragon kung fu get their mack on.

[Serpent]

Sounds good. Friday?

[JAZA]

Not decent enemy for Dai Vaca Loca style.