morbicid
02-06-2003, 04:33 PM
The following story is the sequel to Apple Man, which I wrote for English class in high school. Our story returns to John, a dedicated Kung Fu practitioner. He trains hard and teaches Kung Fu six days week, and I am proud to present you with with this piece that I call "Kung Fu Apple"
This is a story of John Winnerstead
And a dream that he had after going to bed
That day was quite normal, and John worked quite hard
Doing various chores in his little back yard
It was a beautiful day, with birds singing pretty
It was nice living so far away from the city
The trees were in bloom, and the animals played
As John made a mastermind plot to get laid
But nevermind thoughts of behaving bad
For Mistreating others leaves hearts feeling sad
So John just stayed home, on his only day off
He ate apples and french fries then quickly dozed off
Before I continue… please make the room quiet
Now scream aloud “John has an unbalanced diet!”
This is a fact that will help to explain
Why john’s little dream becomes filled with such pain
The dream unfolds quickly, and john is surrounded. By women with uzis, and John’s getting pounded. Getting kicked in the ribs as John tries and crawls, but one of them runs up and drop kicks johns balls. John screams and he asks them “Just what have I done?”, but the women tell john that they’re just having fun.
The leader of the women with uzi’s gang approaches john slowly. She’s wearing a dress made out of… lawn mulch? How can this be real? For some reason they all look like my neightbor Julie. “ HEY!!” She suddenly screams. Think in rhymes you scandelous b@stard!
Her uzi transforms to a new machanism
“ It vibrates so we can get some of your… stuff!”
What stuff do I have that would meet your demands?
Her reply was to run up and pull down johns pants!
The leader holds on to her vibrating toy
And she does dirty things to our own Johnny Boy!
Your eyes might go blind if you only had seen this
She put the contraption on john’s little … SUDDENLY SOMEONE SMASHES INTO THE DREAM!!!
Emerging from a frying pan… Look out kids, it’s Apple Man!!!!
An apple for a body , two french fries for arms
The women go crazy and sound the alarms
Their vibrating uzis are of little use, for they would need BULLETS to spill Apple’s juice.
He is just an apple, a small little fruit. But you’ve no idea what apples can do.
Others mistake him for a harlmess fruit snack
But this little one knows kung fu and smokes crack!
Apple’s cold blooded, busts caps all the time
If you go near his b!tches he’ll pull out his nine
The women with uzis were terrified, their luscious breasts dangled nervously and their lawn mulch clothing left little to the imagination. But their importance to John’s dream faded, therefore they simply faded away. Just Apple and John now.
The setting changed quickly, from a desolate field
To a strip club where apple man can cop a feel
With a maniacal yell, using fruit vocal cords
Apple man jumped out with two ninja swords
John swiftly dodged left and then swiftly dodged right
But this is one apple you just shouldn’t fight
Though Johnny was smart and remarkably fast
He still got a sword and a shoes up his as$
He lay there with pain shooting through his rear end. Thinking how could an apple bring me to an end. But suddenly john blacks out, enter the stranger. The inner demon of Johnny’s furious anger. Johnny jumped up, pulled the sword from his ass, and he screamed aloud “Apple man your ass is grass!”
“Die you little apple B@stard!! Die!!! I’m going to smash your apply organs to a bloody pulp and rip your f***ing guts out!!” In the midst of John releasing his inner rage, he finds that he’s screaming alone on the stage.
The gawkers do glare and the strippers do stare at this strange little man with smashed fruit in his hair. Apparently Johnny did go out that night, to a strip club with boobies and a$ses real tight. It is known to these people that from time to time, if this man drinks too much he loses his mind. But he was so happy and filled with such cheer. So what could it hurt to give him one more beer?
This is a story of John Winnerstead
And a dream that he had after going to bed
That day was quite normal, and John worked quite hard
Doing various chores in his little back yard
It was a beautiful day, with birds singing pretty
It was nice living so far away from the city
The trees were in bloom, and the animals played
As John made a mastermind plot to get laid
But nevermind thoughts of behaving bad
For Mistreating others leaves hearts feeling sad
So John just stayed home, on his only day off
He ate apples and french fries then quickly dozed off
Before I continue… please make the room quiet
Now scream aloud “John has an unbalanced diet!”
This is a fact that will help to explain
Why john’s little dream becomes filled with such pain
The dream unfolds quickly, and john is surrounded. By women with uzis, and John’s getting pounded. Getting kicked in the ribs as John tries and crawls, but one of them runs up and drop kicks johns balls. John screams and he asks them “Just what have I done?”, but the women tell john that they’re just having fun.
The leader of the women with uzi’s gang approaches john slowly. She’s wearing a dress made out of… lawn mulch? How can this be real? For some reason they all look like my neightbor Julie. “ HEY!!” She suddenly screams. Think in rhymes you scandelous b@stard!
Her uzi transforms to a new machanism
“ It vibrates so we can get some of your… stuff!”
What stuff do I have that would meet your demands?
Her reply was to run up and pull down johns pants!
The leader holds on to her vibrating toy
And she does dirty things to our own Johnny Boy!
Your eyes might go blind if you only had seen this
She put the contraption on john’s little … SUDDENLY SOMEONE SMASHES INTO THE DREAM!!!
Emerging from a frying pan… Look out kids, it’s Apple Man!!!!
An apple for a body , two french fries for arms
The women go crazy and sound the alarms
Their vibrating uzis are of little use, for they would need BULLETS to spill Apple’s juice.
He is just an apple, a small little fruit. But you’ve no idea what apples can do.
Others mistake him for a harlmess fruit snack
But this little one knows kung fu and smokes crack!
Apple’s cold blooded, busts caps all the time
If you go near his b!tches he’ll pull out his nine
The women with uzis were terrified, their luscious breasts dangled nervously and their lawn mulch clothing left little to the imagination. But their importance to John’s dream faded, therefore they simply faded away. Just Apple and John now.
The setting changed quickly, from a desolate field
To a strip club where apple man can cop a feel
With a maniacal yell, using fruit vocal cords
Apple man jumped out with two ninja swords
John swiftly dodged left and then swiftly dodged right
But this is one apple you just shouldn’t fight
Though Johnny was smart and remarkably fast
He still got a sword and a shoes up his as$
He lay there with pain shooting through his rear end. Thinking how could an apple bring me to an end. But suddenly john blacks out, enter the stranger. The inner demon of Johnny’s furious anger. Johnny jumped up, pulled the sword from his ass, and he screamed aloud “Apple man your ass is grass!”
“Die you little apple B@stard!! Die!!! I’m going to smash your apply organs to a bloody pulp and rip your f***ing guts out!!” In the midst of John releasing his inner rage, he finds that he’s screaming alone on the stage.
The gawkers do glare and the strippers do stare at this strange little man with smashed fruit in his hair. Apparently Johnny did go out that night, to a strip club with boobies and a$ses real tight. It is known to these people that from time to time, if this man drinks too much he loses his mind. But he was so happy and filled with such cheer. So what could it hurt to give him one more beer?