Stoopit Inventions, etc.

[ZIM]

Just wanted to see how many stoopit inventions yuz all could come up with!

Here's a good one!

Wire-fu Exercise Kit

The Wire-fu Exercise Kit combines the quasi-martial arts workout of the highly successful Tae Bo with the stylish acrobatics scene in movies such as The Matrix, Romeo Must Die and many other Hong Kong action flicks.
Basically it is a contraption that is set up in a room consisting of wires you connect to various parts of your body depending on the workout you want to do. An onboard computer then applies and releases tension or creates movement in the wires for that workout. For example, if you want to exercise your leg muscles, you would set up yourself similar to that scene from The Matrix when Neo does several small kicks in mid-air against Morpheous. You can even program a whole routine!

It can also be used for other purposes, such as aiding budding film makers in making fight movies.

[shaolin kungfu]

Shou shu... oh wait, somebody already made that up.

[ZIM]

oh maaaann...

it doesn't have to be all high-tech or anything.. maybe anthrax-laden George Bush pinatas that we could send out, or remote-disarmable missles that we send to other countries when we arm them [really! we don't do this! honest! ;) ]

or how about:

The Wallet Taser

You're walking down the street, whistling away, and all of a sudden, a huge, armed thug steps in front of you and demands your wallet.. You slowly pull it out, and are in the process of handing it to him, when...BAM!

By flicking the activating switch, disguised as the 'zipper handle-thingie' on your wallet, two tiny razor barbs disguised as the teeth of the zipper fly out towards the suspect. Then, a burst of electricity fires out and stuns the intruder, allowing you some time to escape.

A wallet is approximately the same size as a modern-day taser. Thus, it would make sense to create a modern stealth version, which would aid a victim of a mugging.

As I said, these are stoopit! :p

[shaolin kungfu]

Somebody already made something similar to the wallet taser. The brief case taser. When someone tries to grab your breifcase, they get a heavy dose of electricity.

[Ish]

i saw an amazing anti car-jacking device on tv a month or two ago. it was basicly two big flame throwers that tourched anyone trying to get ur motor. it actually had a working model which totally tourched a dummy.

[Goldenmane]

Ish-

That's a South African invention, and has been around for a few years now. The same guys also came up with a "personal" version, which was bout the size of an aerosol can, and sent out a burst of flame about 10 feet, if I recall correctly.

-geoff (can't come up with any new ones at the moment)

[heron]

10 feet? thats a preety impressive range. Evil weapon though.

[heron]

Someone should make prosthetic limbs which have a hollow space inside them where you can store weapons. I dont think many cops would check there.

[dezhen2001]

LOL at these ideas! :D
cant think of any right now but will get back to yall when i do

dawood

[Chang Style Novice]

Yeah, but what are you gonna do? Chop off an arm so you can keep a shiv inside the fake? I don't mean to belabor the obvious, but that sounds like a lousy tradeoff to me.

[dezhen2001]

1 armed people need ot defend themselves too! :D
what if it was like robocops thigh - remember how the gun comes out? :cool:

dawood

[shaolin kungfu]

Bullet proof socks(or shoes if you prefer). Think about it. Your carrying your gun in your pocket or holster(either way it's pointing down). You are confronted by an attacker and, while trying to get your gun out of your pockett, you shoot yourself in the foot. Luckily, you are not harmed because of your bullet proof socks.

[Cheese Dog]

Bullet-proof underwear--protect your valuable A$$ETTS
Lead-lined underwear--to protect against radioactive mutants
Socks with built in springs--for a fast getaway
Anti-alien buttplug--protection from probing
Coatsleeves with built-in handkerchief--for when your nose runs on those cold days

[shaolin kungfu]

cane sword with taser. The sheath of the sword would be the taser, not the sword.

[ZIM]

"Kungchalking"

This is from all those NY Martial arts law threads that are going on right now... if they go "underground", then this is what I think we should do.

Basically, its a series of hobo signs adapted to the purpose of identifying where a school of MAs is, what it teaches, is it any worth bothering with, % of chi-hippie crap involved, % of sparring, etc.. with wallet-sized translation cards available for download off the net.

The best thing about the idea is that its language-neutral and thus international in usage. If you see one of these signs chalked nearby the school, you know the deal!

[if you don't have a clue what I'm referring to, look up hobo signs on google]

[KC Elbows]

Not originally my idea, but the worst invention I've ever heard of was the self wetting toilet paper dispenser. It would be just like a regular toilet paper dispensers, but with one of those misters, like they have in the vegetable section of the grocery store, so that the paper would get misted as you unrolled it.

For those difficult wipes, I guess.

[Budokan]

So far, "kungchalking" is the best stoopit idea I've heard that might actually have some valid use.

[ZIM]

I must be slipping then, Budokan ;)

Here's one from my doodlin' book:

The Velcro Dummy

A modern version derived from the RARE "Tar Baby" dummy of Choy Lee Fut, this 10 lb., 15 oz. lumpy Tai Chi Ball trains you in shaking and flinging short-arm-power jings, "sticky hands", and footwork! Two man sets exist for it also.

[Not related to the Taoist "big ball of poop" training aid, which we're still working on.]

This item is available for only a limited time from Martial Arts Mart! (http://store.yahoo.com/martialartsmart/train.html) So hurry up and get it while quantities last! Comes with training video, only $39.95!

[hey, keep them coming! this is primarily an excuse to empty out my doodling book, but the ideas are pretty dam-ned funny! thanks!]:D