Anyone want to meet and fight in PA/MD? Serious replies only

[Ralek]

Hi. I'm looking for people who are interested in fighitng in a Challenge match against me. I want to fight a kung fu stylist. Why? becuase it's very fun to fight in challenge matches.

I have fought in 3 challenge matches so far. One of them was with Shoalin Tiger who posted on this board.

Basically I will show you how your kung fu does not work in a real fight.

I can fight you if you live in Pennsylvania or Maryland and are not too far away. We can set up a place to meet and fight.

As far as rules go:
1. No weapons like guns or knives. Just your own body. Just hand to hand fighting unarmed.

If you have other rules you would like that will be fine. We could agree on no eye poking or groin hits or we could do no rules at all. Whatever you want.

I'm 20 years old.
I wieght 190 pounds

And for all of you "anti trolls" this post is serious and for those of you who know shaolin tiger in real life you know that I acutally do fight and i plan to actually find someone and fight them.

[jon]

Dude i would just jump fourteen feet into the air, make time stop and then rain down the fire balls of death on you from above.

[Xebsball]

LOL i almost ****ed on my pants when i read "serious replies only" :D

[Lowlynobody]

Make sure you have a camera there this time. Or at the very least get some pics. I'm sure everyone here would love to see it :)

[dezhen2001]

LOL! i was thinking its about time this happened - been a while.

dawood

[Former castleva]

My japanese is a bit childish too but yes,there´s some fanciness" in that sentence.

Just checked this post out of interest and thought that arranging these matches may not be very wise,just a humble idea...

[Nick Monticello]

Hey Ralek, I'll fight you. I'm going to be your way in about 3 weeks for buisness. Do you have a gym or ring? If so, what are the usage fee's?

[Merryprankster]

You guys could always hook up at third power gym in Washington DC. The ring fee is 12 bucks.

[Budokan]

Oh good grief. Do we really have to go through this again...? :rolleyes:

[Felipe Bido]

Oh, no, no, Ralek...it's 2003, man!...bring something new!

[Budokan]

lol, perhaps he'll attack his opponent's critial points ver well. At least he doesn't do racism against Chinese....you gotta give him that!:p

[Ralek]

My signature is from Ryu. He gave me this signature so i could ask a girl what it meant. Mean mean ryu. But thank you Ryu.

Nick Montecello. There's a wrestling room we can fight in for free in PA. All my matches so far were fought outside in parks.

Nick. What are you stats? how old are you? What styles of kung fu have you done? What other non-kung fu stuff have you done?

I am a yellow belt in shotokan karate and i've watched a bunch of BJJ/NHB video tapes and i try to learn the BJJ moves in the tapes and mimic Royce Gracie's movements. Shotokan karate sucks so i won't use it since it's all stupid stances and reverse punches that are gay.

[Nick Monticello]

My signature is from Ryu. He gave me this signature so i could ask a girl what it meant. Mean mean ryu. But thank you Ryu.

:= LAMAO!!!

Nick Montecello. There's a wrestling room we can fight in for free in PA. All my matches so far were fought outside in parks.

:= Cool, that sounds great. Is that any where near Annapolis?

Nick. What are you stats? how old are you? What styles of kung fu have you done? What other non-kung fu stuff have you done?

:= I'm 36, an even 6 feet and 200-205 lbs. I'm in good shape and bench about 350 (4 times max).

I did a Northern Kuing Fu style taught by Kyu Yu Cheong. It's traditional Bei Shaolin.
I leanred up to the 6th set. Before that, I did some Chung Moo Quan, and soem genral Kung Fu with a freind.


I am a yellow belt in shotokan karate and i've watched a bunch of BJJ/NHB video tapes and i try to learn the BJJ moves in the tapes and mimic Royce Gracie's movements. Shotokan karate sucks so i won't use it since it's all stupid stances and reverse punches that are gay.

:= Lord, I hope your joking, 'casue I'm gonna spank you silly! Would you like to put a little wager on this fight?

[Ralek]

I'm not joking. I realy am a shotokan yellow belt.

I can bench at least 150 pounds. but i havn't lifted wieghts since high school so i don't know.

A bet? sure. I'll bet. How about 50 dollars? i don't want to ruin you so no more than 50 bucks.

[txwingchun]

Originally posted by Ralek
I'm not joking. I realy am a shotokan yellow belt.

I can bench at least 150 pounds. but i havn't lifted wieghts since high school so i don't know.

A bet? sure. I'll bet. How about 50 dollars? i don't want to ruin you so no more than 50 bucks.

You might want to try here the board is full of traditional MA'ists you mught have better luck there.

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/index.php?s=

[Nick Monticello]

Hey Ralek, you can't seriously only bench 150, right??

[count]

How many ways can you spell schizophrenia?

[Nick Monticello]

Depends on who I'm spelling it as........................................:D

[ShaolinTiger00]

Helio would be proud of you for carrying on the vale tudo/bjj tradition of open challenges.

Good Job!

[Nick Monticello]

*Moves mouth in manor completely unrelated to what he is saying*

Hey RYU"."!!! Want to fight?.....................................Fight Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..................... .................!!

[Xebsball]

Helio was so disapointed at Ralek that he couldnt come up with any inspirational quote this time

[Nick Monticello]

*Moves mouth in manor completely unrelated to what he is saying*



"Hmpht!! Yes.....................I Do........................ now ....................................Let's fiGHT!"

[Xebsball]

Now i think you highly direspeckin Master H with those statement!!

[Ralek]

Nick. I havn't lifted wieghts since high school. in high school i think i could bench more than 150. I think i might have gotten around 170 or something but we used the metric system and i can't remember how many Kilo's it was that i was benching. I think you multiply kilos by 2.2 or something to get pounds but i can't remember how many Kilo's i was benching. However i was one of the weaker people in the class. I'm long and skinny.

Note that "Ryu." with a period "." after his name and "Ryu" are not the same person. Ryu with a period is an imposter. The real Ryu is the japanese speaking Ryu.

Nick Montecello. Do you accept the 50 dollar wager? Actually. i'll make it 100 dollars. What do you say? Your a kung fu guy. It's not like you can fight with kung fu but i'll accept a larger wager if you want.

[Chinwoo-er]

I love this forum...............:D

It has got everything I need from martial arts talks, casual conversation, complete nonsense to entertainment.

[shaolin kungfu]

Does anyone still think that shaolin tiger and ralek are the same person? And ralek, you seriously could only bench 150 in highschool! How many reps?

[rogue]

Ryu with a period is an imposter. No, that Ryu is a cranky female.

[BrentCarey]

Oh no. I thought stories of Ralek were exagerated. I have been laughing hysterically for the last 10 minutes. The comedic irony here is that Ralek doesn't realize he is funny. He thinks he is ... well ... it is difficult to tell what he is thinking.

Shame on everyone who eggs him on. He clearly has some sort of personality disorder. We used to get a guy like this who would wander in off the street about once every few weeks and issue challenges. He obviously had some mental problem. We would offer hime some tea and send him on his way.

Of course, Ralek could just lack basic human reasoning and social skills.

Whoever said WWE/UFC/etc isn't having a profoundly negative effect on our youth? Whether Ralek has an uncontrollable personality disorder, or is just a dope, he has clearly been watching too much television.

In either case, this is just sad - not because of Ralek specifically, but because even if/when he grows up, there will be at least one more to take his place.

[KC Elbows]

Whether Ryu with a period or no, neither is anatomically correct Ryu, who is known to have a big colon.

[shaolin kungfu]

congratulations brent, you have depressed me:( .

[KC Elbows]

You know, Ryu:

[Merryprankster]

Brent, we encourage it because it amuses us, without actually harming anything. As one of my friends says, "Somebody has to dig ditches for a living."

And for the umpteenthousandth time, ST00 is NOT Ralek. He's not me either, nor am I ST00. Although after seeing pictures of his wife, I might like being him for a bit.

[ShaolinTiger00]

Woah boy. settle down!

[KC Elbows]

I always believe what MerryPRANKSTER tells me. And my police record shows it. Hell, I didn't even know there WERE endangered lama species, much less that they would have that sort of reaction to the ben gay.

[Merryprankster]

Look, I warned you they can smell that stuff when you put it on your crotch. It's not my fault you signed off before you read it.

Next time, use a scentless analgesic topical agent, like aspercreme, and for chrissakes, DON'T wear pants with a zipper or you're liable to wind up the same way.

[KC Elbows]

Originally posted by Merryprankster
Look, I warned you they can smell that stuff when you put it on your crotch. It's not my fault you signed off before you read it.

Next time, use a scentless analgesic topical agent, like aspercreme, and for chrissakes, DON'T wear pants with a zipper or you're liable to wind up the same way.

You're right, I should have trusted you. By the way, if you close your eyes, they almost sound like anime girls. :eek:

For the record, the dante society just announced the spontaneous generation of an entirely new level in hell.

[Nick Monticello]

OK Ralek, I'll go $100.

I'm a Futures trader prosfessionally, and I have alot of disposable income. You can bet as much as you can aford to loose.

I'll be in Annapolis from March 20-24. My buisness is completed on the 21st, and I am planning to fly back on the 24. If this is not good for you, I can stay an extra day or so, but my scedual will not allow me to come early.

[Ralek]

no I am not Shaolin Tiger00. There are several of you here who have met shoalin Tiger in real life. I know Apoweyn has met shaolin tiger.

If you guys are meeting him in real life then how can he be me? I fought shoalin tiger. he got really tired and had to take rest breaks. I wasn't tired at all. Sure shoalin tiger can hit harder and bench press more but i have lots more endurace.

Nick M. So what about the bet? how much do you want to bet on the fight? And if you want we could move this to email to get away from all the trolls. I would like to bet. But if you don't want to bet on the fight that's fine. In my fight with shaolin Tiger we didn't bet.

Shaolin Tiger said his wife would sue the city of Frederick after we fought if they arrested him. The poice came and there was blood everywhere. I had blood all over my arms and shaolin tiger was spitting blood out of his mouth. I was afraid the police would see all the blood but they didn't even notice, the biciycle police road right by and didn't even see.

I gave shoalin tiger a bloody mouth using the Royce Gracie BJJ punch.

[Xebsball]

Originally posted by Ralek
I gave shoalin tiger a bloody mouth using the Royce Gracie BJJ punch.

:D

[dezhen2001]

no I am not Shaolin Tiger00. There are several of you here who have met shoalin Tiger in real life. I know Apoweyn has met shaolin tiger. now thats logic! :D

dawood

[ShaolinTiger00]

Shaolin Tiger said his wife would sue the city of Frederick after we fought if they arrested him.

not exactly, but close enough.

When is my rematch? You need to make a trip to me this time! Third Power Boxing Gym would be an excellent place. We've practiced MMA there before and they are very used to seeing people fight. Bring $12, your ID and a health insurance card..

[Felipe Bido]

LOL, now it's spitting blood and bloody arms....I am waiting for Ralek's description of the fight in 2005:

"The blood was pouring from the pond, and all the ducks were dying by intoxication. After the smoke from my Super Royce Dragon Punch cleared, and the dust settled, Shoalin (yes, Shoalin) Tiger ripped off his blood drenched T-shirt....two cops died from the impact. ST00 Had lost all his teeth, and my arm had completely burned down to bits, due to the fire coming out of my Royce VHS Tape....I am fine now..this prosthetic arm is the sh¡t"

[Nick Monticello]

I tell you what, we will make the bet what ever my single contract profits are tomorrow, how's that?

Are the dates good for you?

Once my buisness is concluded, I'm free all day. I just planed to swim in the hotel pool, and soak in the hot tub so I don't have anything important to do.

You can reach me at Monicelloinc@lycos.com for further details.

[ShaolinTiger00]

Kudos to you Nick for stepping up. Lots of people on this forum love to talk the talk but when it gets down to it few walk the walk.


Lol @ FB - you are correct. Next Year I'll actually be a blood elemental just slithering to the park and shooting balls of hemoglobin from my eyes.

[shaolin kungfu]

Does blood have eyes?

[apoweyn]

no I am not Shaolin Tiger00. There are several of you here who have met shoalin Tiger in real life. I know Apoweyn has met shaolin tiger.

indeed, i have met shaolintiger. and you, sir, are no shaolintiger.

in point of fact, merryprankster, suntzu, no_know, jowbacca, and myself have all met shaolintiger. and while, from a purely logical standpoint, the fact that none of us have met ralek doesn't preclude them being the same person, what we're discussing at this point would be as close to a kaiser sosse as we're likely to get in real life.

in other words: for the umpteenth time, ST00 is not ralek.


stuart b.

[Nick Monticello]

If he is, he's gonna get spanked in 3 weeks:D

[Losttrak]

Some people have all the fun... Anyone near Dallas wanna try out kung fu? :D

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by Nick Monticello
If he is, he's gonna get spanked in 3 weeks:D

we'll see.

[Royal Dragon]

we'll see.

Reply]
Anyone actually think Ralek can win this?

[apoweyn]

royal dragon,

i don't think it'll happen at all.

[Royal Dragon]

You think it will be another Ralek no show?

[apoweyn]

I don't know. I do know he met Shaolintiger. That debacle with the other kung fu guy though... what was his name?

Besides, Annapolis is nowhere near Frederick. Certainly not near any given wrestling room in Pennsylvannia. We know Ralek won't leave Frederick. So it's incumbent upon Nick, even after coming all the way from Chicago, to then get to Frederick as well. Assuming Nick is serious.

So... I don't know. I don't think it'll happen.


Stuart B.

[Ralek]

Apoweyn. His hame is J F. Springer. He is nothing to me. Just talk.

Anappolis would be kinda hard for me to go to. I might get lost and end up in Mexico. Maybe we could meet in Frederick, MD or in PA. Or we could go to that boxing gym Shaolin Tiger was jsut talkinag about. Or me, you and shaolin tiger can all meet at the same time.

Nick Monticello. I put down 100 dollars on our fight. Dont' be so overconfident. your just a Kung fu person and kung fu does not work in real fights. This is a real fight not your kung fu forms training.

Yes shaolin Tiger. I would like to fight you in a rematch. When do you want to fight Shaolin Tiger? The boxing gym should be fine that way no police will come this time.

And do you all want to meet at the same time? Apoweyn. Do you want to come too? Apoweyn. you can fight me too if you want.

[Ralek]

Nick Monticello. bring 100 dollars with you for betting. I'll bring my money too.

I estimate i can only bench press 150 to 160 pounds. i do video tape BJJ training. My style is BJJ video tapes. I also have the Gracie jiujitsu Total Defense CD-ROM (TM) that has Royce and Rorion Gracie. I have the entire CD-ROM memorized.

We could bet 500 dollars if you want....

[Royal Dragon]

This is too funny. :D

[rogue]

Sure you want to fight Ralek Nick? (http://www.karateforums.com/album_pic.php?pic_id=151)

"Without Me" ( A work in progress)

[Refrain 1]
2 trailer park girls go round me outside
round me outside, round me outside
[Repeat Refrain 1]

[Refrain 2]
Guess whos back, back again
Raleks back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back
Guess who's back...

[Verse 1]
I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
see Patterson no more they want Ralek I'm chopped liver
well if you want Ralek , this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of Tekken mixed with some hard liquor
some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker then a
shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
when I'm rocking the table while he's operating
you waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back,
I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Mr Kung Lek but your husbands heart problem's complicating
So the Gene Ching wont let me be or let me be me so let me see
they tried to shut me down on KFO but it feels so empty without me

[Chorus X2]
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little idiocy,
cuz KFO feels so empty without me

[Verse 3]
A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this **** that ****.
Merry Prankster you can get your ass kicked
worse than them little San Shou b1tches, and Roguie
you can get stomped by Oso, you 36 year old bald headed white belt blow me
You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, nobody does TaeKwondo
Now lets go, just give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since
Ryu turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the **** just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting, but its just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Fred Etish, to do BJJ so selfishly
and use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
there's a concept that works
20 million other white geeks emerge
but no matter how many fish in the sea KFO'd be so empty without me

[Chorus X2]

(Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la) [X2] "Kids"

[Oso]

**** rogue, got a little time on your hands?

funny, though.

[rogue]

Sadly not enough to make the work of art I was hoping for.:D

[shaolin kungfu]

This thread is hillarious.:D

Ralek, how may reps. of 150?

[Cheese Dog]

So THIS is the famous Ralek!!! I can see why you guys missed him.

One question though, does he ever do anything else or is he always like this?

[friday]

hey wasn't challenge threads banned?

:p

neway i live too far away otherwise i'd fight u too Ralek.
but i did find out who BJJISTHEBEST is but i won't reveal his identity. anyway i met him for a private match and beat him to a pulp. Thats y he hasn't been online for so long. turns out he is someone i know and a real 'snake'.

[shaolin kungfu]

Serpent?

[joedoe]

Ralek, where were you at Xmas time???? I was in Annandale Va. for Xmas and asked if anyone wanted to hook up, but no one was interested.

Tell you what, next time I am up that way again I'll let you know and we can meet up.

[shaolin kungfu]

someone should tape the upcoming nick vs ralek fight and have it digitized. That should be good for a few laughs.

[PHILBERT]

Providing such a fight takes place.

[shaolin kungfu]

Does ralek often run from his own challenges?

[Laughing Cow]

Originally posted by shaolin kungfu
someone should tape the upcoming nick vs ralek fight and have it digitized. That should be good for a few laughs.

I doubt that.

If it DOES happen it will be over in 2~3 secs.

Any bets on the outcome??
:D :D

[PHILBERT]

Originally posted by shaolin kungfu
Does ralek often run from his own challenges?

That is the biggest understatement since the dawn of time. He does NOT run, he just won't show up.

[shaolin kungfu]

I'll bet that if ralek shows up, he will be defeated within the first minute.

His training is laughable, and he has the strength of a 14 year old. And from what people tell me, he is a coward.

[Nick Monticello]

I'm guessing he won't even set it up. He hasn't even E-mailed me for details yet.

Remeber the Jeff Springer fight he set up? He totally didn't show for that one, and then stated an e-mail harrassment campagn trying to set up another fight. He was on here trying to tell everyone Springer failed to show. It was laughable! :rolleyes:

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by Ralek
Apoweyn. His hame is J F. Springer. He is nothing to me. Just talk.

Anappolis would be kinda hard for me to go to. I might get lost and end up in Mexico. Maybe we could meet in Frederick, MD or in PA. Or we could go to that boxing gym Shaolin Tiger was jsut talkinag about. Or me, you and shaolin tiger can all meet at the same time.

Nick Monticello. I put down 100 dollars on our fight. Dont' be so overconfident. your just a Kung fu person and kung fu does not work in real fights. This is a real fight not your kung fu forms training.

Yes shaolin Tiger. I would like to fight you in a rematch. When do you want to fight Shaolin Tiger? The boxing gym should be fine that way no police will come this time.

And do you all want to meet at the same time? Apoweyn. Do you want to come too? Apoweyn. you can fight me too if you want.

j.f. springer. that's right.

yep, third power gym sounds just fine. it's a plan.


stuart b.

[Internal Boxer]

Does Ralek actually exist, I know some guys have met ST00 but it seems this Ralek is just too over the top and in some ways I think it could be the alter ego of a Kung-fu guy trying to do BJJ a diservice by having a totally fu.ckwit trying to slag of Kung-fu. BJJ is an excellent figting art but what a lot of practioners do not realise is the gracies have been training straight out of the womb full time, and are class fighters, there seems to be so many wanabies, who have not a cat in hells chance of cultivating the skills the gracies have by just having a couple of hour sessions 3-4 times a week, sure they will get ok, but its like the difference between Mike Tyson to a part time boxer who has had a couple of match fights. (Ralek probably thinks he could kick tysons arse using BJJ).

Ralek why don't you enter in Amateur Vale Tudo etc, I fought in a couple of tournies last year and loved it, I am doing some more this year.

If Ralek does exist its a real shame that the metal instituations in the US are failing their people by not treating the compulsive obsessive manic mental disorders of their citizens.

[rogue]

I believe that the park in Frederick is important to Ralek because it's a power vortex for him. He gains superhuman abilities that he can't find anywhere else.

[David Jamieson]

Hey Ralek.

You want to prove how great you are?

Here's a thought.

Go help a food bank today. Go help a homeless person get some warm clothing so they can endure another day.

There's a challenge for ya. There's a focus that is worthwhile.

Coming onto a forum, anonymously and making these ridiculous challenges again and again is indicative of something rather wrong in the world.

I challenge you to make an attempt at making the world immediately surrounding you a better place today.

cheers

[rogue]

Go help a food bank today. Go help a homeless person get some warm clothing so they can endure another day. He'd do it as long as they come to him in the park.

[Empty Fist]

Too much violence. We should share our techniques with each other and learn from one another instead of trying to bash each other’s heads in. I also agree with Kung Lek. We should use our martial skills (mental as well as physical) to make this world a better place. A true martial artist regardless of background knows that a martial art, foremost, is an expression of oneself.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching Chapter 33

“I have just three things to teach; simplicity, patience, and compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”
Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching Chapter 67

‘The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well in life.”
Samurai Maxim

“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.”
Confucius

[Shah]

Wow good sense of humor

I was laughing my a** off. I loved the rap song and the prediction of the fight in 2005. Just don't take the Ralek too seriously :D

LOL best laughs i had in a loong time!

[rogue]

Too much violence. We should share our techniques with each other and learn from one another instead of trying to bash each other’s heads in. I also agree with Kung Lek. We should use our martial skills (mental as well as physical) to make this world a better place. A true martial artist regardless of background knows that a martial art, foremost, is an expression of oneself.

Wihout looking at you're profile I'd bet you do Tai Chi. Will someone check if, I the Swami, is once again correct? :D

[Felipe Bido]

I have to agree with Rogue in this one...

Tai Chi, or too many reruns of "Kung Fu"


Edit: YES, YES!, Swami Rogue has dived into the Ocean of correctness

[Losttrak]

Too much violence. Hmmphh. Let me put this in a philosophical way for the treehuggers...

Trees dont complain when they enrich themselves off their fallen brothers. Humans should take nature's queue. Even idiots serve some purpose if not simply to make an example. Even a complete moron is extremely useful to worms, is he not? Every man is born with a talent, so who are we to deny them that? Just remember that someone contributing to the dearth of ignorance and stupidity is a boon, and shouldnt be a matter of controversy.

[Ralek]

Nick Monticello. You've got mail.

About JF Springer. I did go to cooper park and I arrived 15 minutes early and stayed 30 minutes late. He never showed. Just some girl came and she pulled a bike out of her trunk and rode away.

And what's wrong with fighitng in challenge matches? isnt' that what martial arts are all about? I thought that was what martial artists did, was fight. And this is the best way to fight rather than picking on people and causeign trouble I am fighitng people who voluntarily accept the challenge. Didn't those kung fu masters of yours fight challenge mathces too?

Rouge. that Picture is not me. I'm 20 years old not 14.

Shaolin Tiger. Where is Third Power Boxing gym. And Shoalin tiger. Do you want to meet me the same day that i meet NIck Monticello?

[MightyB]

Where have you been?

KFO just isn't the same without you. It's about time you came back, and what a comeback. Good to have the king back in town.

All you wanna-bee-trolls sit back and watch the king.

Ralek is my hero,

The MightyB

[Nick Monticello]

Ralek, did you send me mail at monticelloinc@lycos.com

I didn't get anything, unless your the perv who forwarded the barley 18 teenage sex page.

[Ralek]

Shaolin Tiger, Apoweyn, Merry Prankster, ect. All you guys who live nearby can come to the fight if you want. We could all get together and meet at the same time. That way i could fight several of you.

You can come even if you dont' want to fight. Just to hang out or whatever.

So so far i'm fihgitng Nick Monticello and Shaolin Tiger. Does anyone else want to fight? What about you Apoweyn?

[Ralek]

Nick Monicello. Check your mail again. If it's not there i'll send another E mail.

[ShaolinTiger00]

Shaolin Tiger. Where is Third Power Boxing gym. And Shoalin tiger. Do you want to meet me the same day that i meet NIck Monticello?

3rd Power is in Adams Morgan area of Washington DC. Give me a few weeks to recover from an injury that I got during training (I've been on crutches for two months) and I can meet you there anytime you're able to come down. You can also meet MerryPrankster, Apoweyn,SunTzu and the rest of the DC crowd.

Fridays are the open- ring days where we can do vale - tudo matches.

[Nick Monticello]

Nope, it's not there, send it again.

[Ralek]

Holy Crap. Nick monticello. Go back to page 4 of this thread. When you gave me your Email you left out the "t" in monTcelloinc

Let me send another E mail.

i'm sending it to m o n t c e l l o i n c @lycos.com

[apoweyn]

What about you Apoweyn?

yep. email me.

[Ralek]

Check your mail again

[Nick Monticello]

Got it.

Sorry about that. I have Phat Fingers sometimes. Look in your "Sent" folder, maybe a copy is still there and you can re send it.

[Merryprankster]

When is this supposed to happen again? I'm training for some big events right now so may not be able to play.

[Suntzu]

how did I get into this :confused: vale tudo huh??? OK whatever...

[Ralek]

Apoweyn. What is your E mail? I would like to meet all of you at the same time so i can kill several birds with one stone.

Howevery i'm not fighting merryprankster. He's not a kung fu guy. He is an offical BJJ fighter. It would be nice if we could meet in PA but the boxing gym should be fine. Shaolin Tiger is a BJJ fighter too now but since he used to do kung fu i will fight him.

[GreyMystik]

ralek, you are the ****. i missed your comic relief, it's hilarious. thanks for giving me a good laugh!

[apoweyn]

good grief ralek, you've emailed me a thousand times.

bowens@westat.com

you're clear on the fact that i'm not a kung fu guy either, yeah?


stuart b.

[rogue]

I would like to meet all of you at the same time so i can kill several birds with one stone. Hmmmmm...

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by rogue
Hmmmmm...

yeah. i think i'm supposed to be the bird in that analogy.

[Serpent]

Originally posted by shaolin kungfu
Serpent?

What?

[joedoe]

friday said he'd met up with someone on the forum and gave them a schooling. He also said they were a bit of a 'snake' so the assumption was that it was you.

[rogue]

Tweet, tweet Ap.:D
You think he'll even bother to change out of his street clothes?:p

[Serpent]

Originally posted by joedoe
friday said he'd met up with someone on the forum and gave them a schooling. He also said they were a bit of a 'snake' so the assumption was that it was you.

Oh, I see!

Well, it wasn't me.

Ah, but isn't it good to see old Ralek back again. Real shame that he hasn't come up with a new troll after this extended absence though. Still, it's a bit like M*A*S*H reruns. No matter how many times the same shiat comes up, you still sit back and watch it with a satisfied sigh. It's like coming home.

[joedoe]

I wonder who it was :)

It is always amusing to watch Ralek at work - he really is the master troll. I would go so far as to say his trolling kung fu is first rate :D

[Serpent]

Originally posted by joedoe
I wonder who it was :)

It is always amusing to watch Ralek at work - he really is the master troll. I would go so far as to say his trolling kung fu is first rate :D

Shame about his non-trolling kung fu really!

Come on, Friday: Which Aussie did you spank?

[friday]

haha :)
sorry it wasn't really beating him to a pulp (sorry just trying to fit in with the troll type feel of this thread). just i have a pretty good idea that this person i know is in fact BJJISTHEBEST from the things my friend has said b4 and also what BJJISTHEBEST has said online. similar style, similar wording. same ideas.

anyway once we were mucking around fists in guard, he throws a jab at me, i move in on blind side cover his eyes with my palm (thanks ka for showing me that!) :D push his head back anchor my hip against his back/hip area (thanks pak hok kung fu), throw him to the ground, pretend to stomp his head (thanks ka again) and choke him (thanks Sweaty Dog). i guess if it was street i wouldn't really care whether i choked him, rather kick him a few times and run.
i must admit surprise played a major part. but for someone who claimed to me he did BJJ at sinosic-perosh school 5 nites a wk for about 6mths and was still doing it...leaves alot to be desired. i'm thinking problem is more with my friend then the school if he even really goes there that many times. .:rolleyes:

anyway kinda disappointing, the friend turned out to be a real 'snake'. did some really dodgy things behind my back. guess i'm too trusting sometimes...

[joedoe]

LOL.

Who need enemies when you have friends like that? :D

[Serpent]

Yeah. Shame you didn't really stomp on his head when you had the chance.

[SevenStar]

Originally posted by Ralek
Apoweyn. What is your E mail? I would like to meet all of you at the same time so i can kill several birds with one stone.

Howevery i'm not fighting merryprankster. He's not a kung fu guy. He is an offical BJJ fighter. It would be nice if we could meet in PA but the boxing gym should be fine. Shaolin Tiger is a BJJ fighter too now but since he used to do kung fu i will fight him.

you can travel now? you musta gotten a car

[joedoe]

Where are you based? I think we should organise an Australian KFO posters get together. I know some got together once before but I couldn't make it that time :( It would be good to put faces to names.

[Ralek]

quote by serpant "Ralek hasn't come up wiht a new troll since his extended absence"

I'm not here to troll. I'm just trying to fight kung fu people.

Rouge. What does my clothes have to do with anything? When i fougth shaolin tiger we both wore our ordinary clothes. This is a fight not a beauty contest. I'm not going to put on a spandex body suit for the fight. I'll just be wearking a T shirt and jeans.

Apoweyn. Are you planning on fighting or do you just want to watch? You don't have to fight if you don't want to.

Yes. YOu are the birds and i am the stone. and i want to get as many challenge matches in 1 car trip as i can. However i need more kung fu people. AS far as i know NIck Monticello is the only pure kung fu stylist coming. Shaolin Tiger does BJJ. Apaoweyn does philopino stick styles or soemthing.

[joedoe]

Why didn't you respond to my post at Xmas time? It would have been good to meet up and exhange ideas :)

[Ralek]

I wasnt' on the boards at christmas time. I havnt' been here i a few months.

[KnightSabre]

Ralek my boy,it's so good to see you again.

I missed you,this place can get a little boring when you're not arround.

Good luck in your challenge matches :)

[dezhen2001]

Sydney KFO ppl: i may be making a visit for a few weeks in late May/early June time... dim sum? :D

Seriously, nearer the time we could maybe arrange something - i know if joedoe is anything like me then food is good :D

dawood

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by rogue
Tweet, tweet Ap.:D
You think he'll even bother to change out of his street clothes?:p

we're going to be wearing clothes?! bah! i thought we'd be fighting in the traditional highland manner.

:)

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by Ralek
Apoweyn. Are you planning on fighting or do you just want to watch? You don't have to fight if you don't want to.

i'll spar with you. i'm not going to call it a fight. i know i'm not going to be hellbent on breaking your knees or anything. so 'fight' seems a bit melodramatic.

of course, you wouldn't know anything about melodrama, would you. "then blood was pouring out of shaolintiger's eyes. and he sneezed. and his spleen fell out. he tried to wipe it off on his jeans. it was gross!!"


Yes. YOu are the birds and i am the stone.

just so we're clear.


and i want to get as many challenge matches in 1 car trip as i can.

sensible policies for a happier ralek.


Apaoweyn does philopino stick styles or soemthing.

apoweyn does filipino stick styles or something. [sigh] that's good, ralek.


stuart b.

[CD Lee]

Hey Ralek, I am in DC on business. I would fight you, but I never fight Karate guys, not even yellow belt. They are too dangerous. Too bad. You know, I saw footage of Karate beating a pimp on the street a few years ago. One punch.

[Fu Fighter]

Sorry. I'm new here and didn't want to make this my first post but WTF? Is this guy for real or just a troll? Makes me want to go over there just lay him out. I suppose I would if I cared to finish this sent...

[joedoe]

Originally posted by dezhen2001
Sydney KFO ppl: i may be making a visit for a few weeks in late May/early June time... dim sum? :D

Seriously, nearer the time we could maybe arrange something - i know if joedoe is anything like me then food is good :D

dawood

Dez, definitely let us know when you are coming down and we can organise something. I'll PM you with my email address.

[Tinman]

Well it's about time
Someone realized that Karate is the best art.

CD Lee, You are very smart to acknowleged this.

We are to DANGEROUS for anyone!

even your GAY BJJ which ralek is very nieve about.
very stupid he is. and anyone else who comes up against karate.

[shaolin kungfu]

Oh no! Look out everyone! It's the karate version of ralek!
:eek:

[joedoe]

Tinman has been around for a while. At least Ralek keeps us entertained, Tinman is just stupid :)

[Tinman]

I only speak the truth.
If you want to roll around in the grass like a dog, then by all means take up BJJ while I elbow you in the eye socket when you try to take me down. Go in for the shoot on me and your spine will break.

As for all the fancy swinging in Ballet Fu, by the time you do all that fancy crap I'll have 5 direct strikes on you.

That's what is so great about Karate.Direct and to the point
Real fighting.

[Serpent]

I have a dream.

I want to organise a very special Pay Per View event.

It will take place in a park, by a fountain, with policemen cycling past. It will be an arena style fight to the finish with Ralek and Tinman in a tag team against ST00 and Apoweyn.

As soon as someone starts to bleed then everyone will sit down for a rest. There's no need to wear spandex bodysuits and every fighter must make at least five direct strikes if an opponent attempts to take them down.

Obviously, I'll supply all the acid required to make such an event a reality. Anyone interested?

(I'm still thinking that Ralek and Tinman are the same person, and I'm still convinced that Ralek and No-Know are the same person. No one seems to remember the video game post that Ralek accidentally posted under the No-Know account).

[Golden Arms]

I am with you Serpent, only dont forget that ST00 and Ralek are also the same person...I want to see all of them fight Ego_Maximus!

[joedoe]

Originally posted by Tinman
I only speak the truth.
If you want to roll around in the grass like a dog, then by all means take up BJJ while I elbow you in the eye socket when you try to take me down. Go in for the shoot on me and your spine will break.

As for all the fancy swinging in Ballet Fu, by the time you do all that fancy crap I'll have 5 direct strikes on you.

That's what is so great about Karate.Direct and to the point
Real fighting.

LOL Tinman. OK, fair enough. Now you are entertaining me too. :D

How is the weather in that closed little world you live in? :D

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Golden Arms
I am with you Serpent, only dont forget that ST00 and Ralek are also the same person...I want to see all of them fight Ego_Maximus!

We could get all the users on KFO to fight and only end up with about three people!

[Golden Arms]

Unfortunately, from what I remember, it takes more than 3 people to lift ego and his wheelchair. Well at least since he got the "extra high performance battery" for it. I have a dream of him and Hung Kai Vin, dueling to the death on a tennis court. Oh man!

[dezhen2001]

With Anna Kournikova as the referee :cool:

dawood

[Serpent]

Originally posted by dezhen2001
With Anna Kournikova as the referee :cool:

dawood


Who'd be watching the fight!?

[dezhen2001]

who said anything about doing that? :confused:

dawood

[shaolin kungfu]

Seriously. If the fight does happen, someone should tape it and have it digitized. That way we can all see the 90 pound ralek getting his scrawny ass kicked.

[Tinman]

You see, this is what I was always talking about.
You Ballet Fu people are never serious about your martial arts. It's all a big joke, just like all the people on this site.

Except for a good old Karate brother I remember
Karate 4 life
What ever happened to him? He had the right idea.
He probably got sick of all the BS and left.

[joedoe]

Life sucks then you die Tinman. If you don't learn to laugh, then what is the point in living? :D

[Tinman]

Oh yeah, and Bagua Fighter
He sure put the people around here in there place

[Tinman]

I laugh. I always laugh.

All I have to do is watch a Kung Fu movie on Saturday afternoon.
OK, Abandit

[SifuAbel]

If ST is all these people, then he needs serious mental help.
What makes me think he is Ralek is the way ST is come off as of late. St00 seems to be the core personality, the rest are smaller splits, like sibil.

You should have kept your alter egos seperate, now its obvious.

ST dancing around the issues (http://home.earthlink.net/~drhchan/STbalerinasmall.JPG)

[shaolin kungfu]

Thats the second funniest thing I have ever seen.:D

[Ben Gash]

Apoweyn, you mean bare-breasted and carrying an 8lb baby? Whatever turns you on. Personally I'll be wearing my lucky fighting wig and adopting my regimental accent ;)
Ralek is just weird, I don't get it. It's like those really slow paced, cringey comedies that are all the rage here at the moment (The Office, Pheonix Nights, Marion and Jeff). I don't really find it funny.
At least Kelvin Chan and his alter egos have some substance to them. I mean learning to fight from BJJ vids and video games? Shaolin Tiger must be Ralek as no-one in their right mind would 'fess up to losing to him. I mean you'd die of embarrassment :rolleyes:

[Ben Gash]

Either that or he's Ralek's b i tch :D

[Serpent]

If this "fight" ever was to actually occur, and it was filmed, it would be just like that scene in the Two Towers where Gollum is arguing with himself, except with lame punches and attempted self-inflicted choke holds thrown in.

And worse acting.

[joedoe]

Ever seen Fight Club? Same thing really :D

[Serpent]

Originally posted by joedoe
Ever seen Fight Club? Same thing really :D

Without the club.

[shaolin kungfu]

Or anything resembling fighting.

[Serpent]

So it's actually a bit like _______________.

In other words, nothing.

We all knew that already though, right?

[shaolin kungfu]

The thought of ralek actually fighting boggles the mind.

Whats the word on the Monticello vs Ralek fight? Is it still being planned or what?

[Serpent]

Yeah, what up, Nick? Is Ralek actually e-mailing you and arranging something?

[Mr Punch]

Ralek and Tinman on one thread! Nostalgia indeed.

Now where's Volcano Admim to weigh in for the newer blood? He'd just spew lava all over these two old campaigners!

[Serpent]

And Ego Maximus aka Kelvin Chan.

We should get a thread together with all the trolls trying to out-troll each other. Then we could name a Grand Champion Troll.

So far we'd have:

Ralek - The unofficial current champion.

Tinman - Karate's loud mouth.

Volcano Admin - for nonsensical rantings.

Ego Maximus/Goktimus Prime (same person for those that don't know) - Shoutman for Northern kungfu with his wheelchair dreamings and face like a dropped pie.

Who else?

[shaolin kungfu]

How would we judge who wins? Wouldn't a thread made entirely of trolls go on forever?

[Ben Gash]

Don't forget Kelvin's other alter egos Ego Extrordinaire and 5*mantis .
Rolls
And for all those oldtimers out there, TKD man! The original KFO master troll. 6'4" of pure TKD and BJJ power! Able to bench press 350lbs! (See, far better than Ralek). Would kill you with a lightening fast jumping spinning kick to the head as soon as look at you! So intimidating that mantis black sashes refused to spar with him! Had several medals from major local tournaments!

[Mr Punch]

Serpent...face like a dropped pie.
[/B]

You know sometimes, I'm just walking along the street, and I still burst out laughing as the expression 'face like a dropped pie' slips into my head... :D :D :D



Serpent
Volcano Admin - for nonsensical rantings.

However, now, as you have defamed my master, the sublime Volcano Admim, we shall have to fight to the death, you cowardly worm!
:mad:

You'll be saying that Morihei Ueshiba was just a midget lunatic next...!:rolleyes: :D :eek:

[Mr Punch]

Originally posted by shaolin kungfu
How would we judge who wins? Wouldn't a thread made entirely of trolls go on forever?

If only it were spoken... we could generate enough power to save the world... but then all that hot air might have the opposite effect!

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Mat

You'll be saying that Morihei Ueshiba was just a midget lunatic next...!:rolleyes: :D :eek:

Well, .... errr...

*looks around for support*

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Ben Gash
Don't forget Kelvin's other alter egos Ego Extrordinaire and 5*mantis .
Rolls
And for all those oldtimers out there, TKD man! The original KFO master troll. 6'4" of pure TKD and BJJ power! Able to bench press 350lbs! (See, far better than Ralek). Would kill you with a lightening fast jumping spinning kick to the head as soon as look at you! So intimidating that mantis black sashes refused to spar with him! Had several medals from major local tournaments!

All the trolls would have to choose just one of their many personalities!

As for old school, what about JuJitsuJedi? Remember him and his exploding chickens? Ah, golden days!

[shaolin kungfu]

But when would the contest end? It would go on longer than the Got qi? girls thread.

[Serpent]

Yeah. It would be a beautiful thing.

[shaolin kungfu]

That could be the funniest thread ever. If only there were some way to get the trolls to do it....

[Ralek]

you guys say i'm Know_no ? My only name is Ralek. I don't change my name unless i'm banned and i havn't been banned in a while. as for know_no making a post about video games, well that does not make him me.

And many of you on here have met BOTH Shaolin Tiger and Know_no in real life so they are obviously not the same person so i can obviously not be them.

As far as it goes now the people i'm offically fighting are Apoweyn, Shaolin Tiger, Nick Monticello.

As for a date. Fridays would be best for me. When are you guys open? Friday is best. in the afternoon. so which friday should we meet? maybe 2 weeks from this coming friday would be best.

[shaolin kungfu]

Has anyone actually met Ralek AND shaolin tiger? Or Ralek AND Know No?

My theory is that ralek is just a figmant of our collective imagination. A creature of pure thought, that comes from a place deep within us all. Our "inner troll", that as grown so strong we can no longer control it.

[PHILBERT]

Originally posted by shaolin kungfu
Has anyone actually met Ralek AND shaolin tiger? Or Ralek AND Know No?

My theory is that ralek is just a figmant of our collective imagination. A creature of pure thought, that comes from a place deep within us all. Our "inner troll", that as grown so strong we can no longer control it.

Yeah I've wondered that too, my money is he truly does not exist. Rather he is a little bit of all of us combined into a mental entity capable of posting on KFO.

And Ralek, several months ago you left [again] claiming [again] you would never return.

[Ralek]

Shoalin Tiger. You have been to the boxing gym before. So maybe once we all agree on the day to meet you can tell the boxing gym we are coming beforehand.

And just for the record i am NOT shaolin Tiger. He is some guy in his late 20's or early 30's who does san shou and BJJ. The people here who have met Shaolin tiger know that i am not him and soon they will meet me too if they want to come.

I am undefeated. I have never lost a fight. Maybe Nick Monticello will change this. or maybe he'll lose to little ol me who can only bench press 150-160. Shaolin tiger siad he can Curl 150 but that didn't help him much. It's not always the strongest fighter who wins. Just as royce gracie defeated Ken Shamerock who had a 50 pound wieght advacnatge. and royce also defeated the Gold medal olympic wrestler Dan Severn in a fight with groin grabs legal in the early UFC's with an 80 pound wight disadvantage.

Playing video games does not make strong muscles. However it builds lighting fast eye to hand cooridantion and reflexes that allowed me to defeated the former heavy wight san shou champion of the world.

[shaolin kungfu]

HAHAHA!

That's the funniest thing I have ever heard! Ralek, or "figmant" as I will now call him, claims that playing video games and watching ufc tapes helped him beat the heavy weight san shou champ! What's the weather like up your own ass figmant? Maybe if you pulled your head out from time to time, you would realise how stupid you sound.

[Ralek]

Um yes. I didn't plan on returning at the time. I had forgetton about Kungfuonline and just went about my busines. But fighitng people on the intenet is very very fun. When your waiting for someone you don't know to show up and fight it its' fun.

And then it's even more fun when you post about the fight and everyone is in disbelief and posts consiracy theories and how it's impossible a fight could ever happen.

I'm not Shaolin Tiger or No_know. Check our IP addresses. They are different.

[PHILBERT]

Ralek, there are other Kung Fu boards to try.

And we can't check IP Addresses, only admins (and maybe mods) can.

Wait...SevenStar and rubthebuddah are mods...

HEY GUYS CHECK IT!!!

And shaolin kung fu, I know of one respected person on these boards who said him playing UFC video games actually improved his ground fighting ability.

[shaolin kungfu]

Who?

[PHILBERT]

That is classified.

[David]

Ralek, admit it - you're only back because Jack Springer doesn't post like he used to...

-David

[Nick Monticello]

He's E-mailing me. Last one I got was this morning. He's still trying to get the address of the gym. He wants to fight only on Friday though, and I have buisness on Friday. I need to do it on Saturday, Sunday or Monday. Anytime will be good.

[apoweyn]

ben gash,


Apoweyn, you mean bare-breasted and carrying an 8lb baby?

a fellow macadder fan, i see. i can't believe anyone actually got that reference. well played.

:)

[apoweyn]

nope. never met shaolintiger AND ralek. never met no_know AND ralek. never met ralek.

however

i have met with no_know AND shaolintiger on several occassions each. and i've got it on relatively good authority that they're not the same person. (seeing as how, when i met them, they were occupying two different places in time and space)

therefore

ralek cannot be both shaolintiger AND no_know.

he could, however, be a ninja. and, as oso assures us, ninja suck.


stuart b.

p.s. 'figment' is spelled with an 'e.' if shaolin kungfu is going to make that some sort of official nickname for ralek, take pity on the resident copyeditor and spell it properly.

[Shah]

Ralek is not an entity that is made up of our thoughts. He is a higher being that has reached enlightenment and figured out the root of true martial prowess.... video games! Everyone knows all the great old martial artists learned kungfu from superstreetfighter turbo II.

[Taomonkey]

Nick that has been Ralek's MO since day one. I will fight you,,,,,on Friday,,,,no wait saturday,,,,my mom wont let me use the cat on friday,,,,,can you pick me up,,,,,I'll meet you at the gym,,,no wait at the park,,,,,you must jump through all my many hoops,,,,,then only after you have proved yourself worthey and made it to the top floor, then you may have the honor of my presence, and may fight me,,after all I will fight anybody, anywhere,,just not this week, or there. Ralek has his own fighting style, much like Bruce in ETD, it is the art of fighting without fighting.

[apoweyn]

my mom wont let me use the cat

sweet baby jesus, tell me this is a typo. poor cat. :)


stuart "completely in favour of typos when they're funny" b.

[KC Elbows]

The darn cat needs a day off too.

[Taomonkey]

cat,,car,,whatever floats his boat, Reminds me of an old SNL skit with Kelsey Grahmer were his line is "never mind the mint julip just bring me the cats a.s.s. Ralek always warms up with a good old cat fight, before a challenge match,,you know what they say about p ussy (cats) before a fight.

[apoweyn]

thankfully, i have no earthly idea what they say about ***** cats before a fight.

[KC Elbows]

Apoweyn, you just got revenge for all the times you spewed a pop on your monitor from one of my posts. You've made me waste my precious mountain dew- For clarification, that is not a quaint ozark saying.

BTW, you DO know what they say about seeing Cats before a fight, right?

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by KC Elbows
Apoweyn, you just got revenge for all the times you spewed a pop on your monitor from one of my posts.

Then my work here is done. :)


You've made me waste my precious mountain dew- For clarification, that is not a quaint ozark saying.

And again, the balance of power shifts back in KC's direction. (Thankfully, I have no drink.)


BTW, you DO know what they say about seeing Cats before a fight, right?

Er, no. You telling me that there is a saying about cats and fights?


Stuart B.

[Taomonkey]

I've been training my cat to fight weasels for years, I think she could take ralek.

KC is it mountian dew or morning dew?

[KC Elbows]

Well, really, West Side Story is a better musical to see before a fight. Seeing Cats is just asking for a butt whooping.

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by KC Elbows
Well, really, West Side Story is a better musical to see before a fight. Seeing Cats is just asking for a butt whooping.

LOL

okay, you're pulling ahead again. i was never a serious contender, clearly.

:)

[Brad Souders]

Well **** if your dumb enough to come to PA i'll fight ya. We'll go straight MMA UFC rules but with no time limit. Course i help run bjj/submssion tourneys in PA/MD so show up to one of those. I got a cousin Eric Grove at 190 i'm sure you could woop the hell out of :)

Later, Brad

[Taomonkey]

so Ralek you want to fight my cat?

[Serpent]

Ralek's a cat?

I'm confused..... :confused:

[joedoe]

No, Ralek is a *****. :D

[Serpent]

Originally posted by joedoe
No, Ralek is a *****. :D

Well, he's gonna get ****ed, if that's what you mean.