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Fu Manchu
03-25-2001, 11:05 AM
Have you been to Shaolin temple lately.

Although the older sifus still preserve the art, the younger students are abandoning the age old tradition for rock music and drugs.

It of of great urgency that we set up a Shaolin Temple youth fund to rehabilitate the yonger monks and instill the disaplin of kung fu intop their minds.

How do you propose this money can be raised in a time of financial chaos in the States?

fiercest tiger
03-26-2001, 12:51 AM
are you serious!!! i know they listen to pop music but drugs.. wow

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

joedoe
03-26-2001, 01:17 AM
Fu, I didn't know they were into drugs.

You could raise the money by robbing a bank :)

In case you haven't worked it out, I was joking.

About robbing a bank that is :)

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

ope
03-27-2001, 07:09 AM
If your serious.. then maybe you could put on fund raiser show.. a Martial arts show of some sorts to raise the money let people know its for a good cause.. it might work..

joedoe
03-27-2001, 03:04 PM
Fu, do you know what drugs they take. As they are my heroes, I want to be just like them :)

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Fu Manchu
03-31-2001, 07:44 AM
Abandit

That's right, the young monks have taken to sex drungs and rock & roll. They have even descricated their grand masters graves and defaced the Temple statues with their ghastly grafitti.

I intend to set up a foundation trust that will hunt down and lock evey one practicing shaolin kung fu under the age of 18 and resore the temples to their original state. People will then practice Shaolin Kung Fu in the name of Dr. Fu Manchu.

joedoe
03-31-2001, 09:43 AM
Wow, I'd never heard of this happening before.

Why do you want them to practice under your name. I apologise if this is offensive, but it sounds a bit egotistical to me.

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

fiercest tiger
03-31-2001, 02:44 PM
drunken form
herion belt form
black hash fist
cocain head kung
pot feet
leaf palms
heads kuen
credit fist
blow me because u o me fist

its famous for there veiny arms skills and robbing techniques.
like-needle in artery
hit and run
lifting bags
train station bashing the boys
kick your guts in
working the wall techniques have been proven inside and outside the temple doors, its one of the biggest style around and its spreading like tae bo.

abandit im sure you can add to this list of forms and techniques? :D whats your views on this modern day system?

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

joedoe
03-31-2001, 03:24 PM
You forgot:

Crack snorting palm
Magic mushroom head
Valium chuan
Angel dust shirt techniques
Golden Needle fighting
Johnny Walker Do

What about:

Hit and run gong
Drive by pai
Uzi do

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

doug maverick
03-31-2001, 09:25 PM
i was at the temple in the summer time and it not as bad as fu says you see every thing around shaolin is being torn down even the village so um where they gonna go to listen to the music and get the drugs without being found out also some of them have become keen to rap music i guess thats thanks to the rza from wu tang

dunbarj01
04-02-2001, 02:45 AM
Fu Manchu,

What exactly do you intend to do with the money (if any) you collect? Very easy to start a fund but how to use the money....

fiercest tiger
04-02-2001, 05:25 AM
he will buy drugs with it!! ;) **** hypocrite

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

joedoe
04-02-2001, 08:37 AM
Sounds like he already has :D

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Fu Manchu
04-05-2001, 04:44 PM
The money would be used to restore the temple to its original state in excahnge for a 50 year lease from the chinese government. The building will be used for educational tourist attractions where old monks will be brought out of their retirement homes and employed to perform shows. This will ease the unemployment in the region and give the youngseters something to look forward to besides becoming a rock star or something superficial like that. The rest of the funds would be used to set up the head office of my chi realignment clinic in the Cayman Islands were the taxation regime is much more attractive than the US.

joedoe
04-06-2001, 10:15 AM
You're not serious are you?

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Fu Manchu
04-06-2001, 08:12 PM
ABandit

If you've seen the state of the Shaolins today you'll understand my quest. Once I saw an American tourist pick a fight with a young monk. The monk smiled and said "Buddah be praised" and briskly walked away. The young monk refused to fight. So he (the tourist) thought that the monk was just being humble, caught up to him and threw a hard right left combo. It knocked the monk out. He was shocked and called the ambulance on his mobile. The tourist thought that all monks knew Kung Fu - which quite evendently they don't.

It is my intention to change that and bring glory back to Shaolin. In the Bible it is said that a new temple will be established on Earth.

NorthernMantis
04-06-2001, 09:46 PM
I don't think it meant that type of temple as it isn't of a Jewish or Christian background.

"Always be ready"

doug maverick
04-07-2001, 07:43 AM
fu i'm not gonna hate on you but ummm........ tis sounds like the biggest scam on the face of this earth first of all the prc won't even let you least out the temple, also the temple is being renevated as we speak by the chinese goverment i think kung fu magazine did and article on it

Fu Manchu
04-07-2001, 08:06 AM
There are many building that make up the Shaolin temple and there are many temples in China that are affiliated to Shaolin. It's a bit like Mac Donalds. You can go to one at New Orleans or CT etc...

The management of all these building is not easy as the up keep of these magnificient works of art requires people knowledgable in this field. That is why certain buildings have been leased to private enterprises because the owners feel that they can be run better. Sure there is a % share of tourism profits so no one loses out.

It's great for those monks who's terms of employment with Fu Corporation allows them a 2.5% discount on chi realignent treatment at my clinic at New Orleans. They will also receive 10% discount on air fares to new Orleans if they make the booking through Dr Fu's Fantasy Flights (Travels).

You see peace maker - this is not a scam it is my way of bring the world closer together.

doug maverick
04-07-2001, 09:09 PM
then why don't you make a tv ad or something of the sort you see there are scams all over the net not saying your one of them you might be right, but ah no one is gonna go for it over the net, why don't you right an article on it and send it to kung fu magazine this way people can see if your telling the truth or not

joedoe
04-08-2001, 01:10 AM
Fu,

Traditionally not all Shaolin monks trained in kung fu - some were scholars. The tourist who wanted to fight the monk was an arsehole and whether you think the monk did the right thing or not, having a fight with a visitor would not look good and is bad publicity. Also, how advanced was this monk?

Secondly, I agree with peacemaker. The PRC is not going to lease the temple to a foreign enterprise, and right now a US enterprise is probably least likely to win a lease over there.

I really hope you are joking because if you aren't then you sound like an egotistical maniac to me.

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Fu Manchu
04-08-2001, 01:26 PM
ABandit

As we speak, the good name of Shaolin is being tarnished by monks who cannot fight. With the coming of Fu Corporation (and the PRC know that), the monks can be educated in traditional ideas of obedience and fighting spirit. They have been oppressed by a totalatarian regime for too long. Now they will have a sense of purpose and power. They will share in the management of Fu Corporation through equity ownership in a subsidiary company as part of their remuneration package.

It is totallty erronous to say that this is a scam when what I'm giving to these oppressed people is something that they otherwise would never have - the sense of identity and hope.

Think about this, monks young and old demonstrating their amazing chi kung in front of cheering spectators at the Shaolin Theme Park at New Orleans. How romantic would that be, it would certainly make the world a better place, a place made better by Dr. Fu.

doug maverick
04-08-2001, 07:39 PM
just stop it wit all the beef between the u.s. and china right now your whole "scam" sounds stupid have you seen the news oh and not all monks have to fight remmeber back in the old days there were only five hundred fighting monks the rest were priest and scholars not only that i don't bleive the story about the monk and the tourist cause thats still assault and i don't care what country you come from your going to jail.

fiercest tiger
04-09-2001, 02:28 AM
well ive been 4 times in the 90's and there are no monks, again its all communist money making bullsh!t.
its a beautiful temple true, but drugs are everywhere and even shaolin is having problems. why not help your own neighbourhood out, than oversea's. obviously we have a world wide problem with drugs! not just shaolin temple :eek:


abandit
thanks for the kind warm welcome at your school, much appreciated. its a small world who nows you around the traps ah!

do you wanna have yum cha saturday??

peace

bakmeimonk@hotmail.com

joedoe
04-09-2001, 04:12 AM
I have been to the Shaolin temples in both Putian and Quan Chou and I a) saw no evidence of drug use there and b) trained with the monks and I can assure you at least the ones in the south are excellent martial artists. Never been to the Honan one so I couldn't comment on that temple.

Hey FT,

It was great to finally meet you. I wish I could have spent more time talking with you :).

Unfortuantely I am completely booked up this Easter weekend. The weekend after looks OK though.

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

Fu Manchu
04-09-2001, 05:16 PM
Abandit, FT

My new tour group will be called Dr Fu and his frolicking Shaolin Monks. We will be performing our extraordinary chi skills around the world. You can see the one armed Shaolin Monk do the Sun Gim form. The 80 year old muscle monk smashes bicks with his head - he is known as the iron headed rodent. They have gone through significant amount of body conditioning at the Institute of Chi realignment. They were the ones who signed up early and have financed their studies through my very own finance company at a bargain interest rate of 12.5%p.a.

The tour will be managed by my sexy wife who is a Cajun witch and would give us spiritual protection.

joedoe
04-10-2001, 02:00 AM
OK, I'm convinced you are joking now. Good one Fu :)

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

S.Teebas
04-10-2001, 05:31 AM
LOFAO.... i just read this whole post thread today, and i must say it's the funniest thing ive read in a long time..... thanks for the laugh Dr Fu Manchu!

omegapoint
04-10-2001, 11:10 AM
That isht was hilarious! LOL!!!

Fu Manchu
04-10-2001, 02:07 PM
I see you have little respect for the traditions of Shaolin. Monks have addressed me as Fu the fixer as i have put mended together many a broken life.

Students respect me and address me as Dr Feel good. My unique brew of herbal remedies is a blend of the best Chinese herbalogy and Cajun Witchcraft has to offer.

dunbarj01
04-10-2001, 02:42 PM
HAHAHAHAHA

Discounts from 2.5% to 10% to bring the world together???????? WHAT A BARGAIN!!!


Poor Monks - Fu, I was afraid that you might threaten to align their chi...

....oh my sides are hurting (and no, they dont need chi realignment)...

Fu Manchu
04-12-2001, 01:55 PM
Valid the Implier

It is necessary to foster the idea of tolerance and open mindedness in order to make the oweld a better place. Someone quite correctly suggested to Dr. Fu why not start with my own neighbourhood. thats' exactly what I'm doing by bringing the monks across the Atlantic to New Orleans.

These monks are top notch expects having fought through the 28 wooden men of shaolin, taken a language exam in english and french plus demonstrating their competence in breathing conditioning exercises.

Junior monks will continue to receive training in China because labour is cheap and it would take them pretty much a life time to save up for the trip to the States.

Some of them don't have work visas or social security numbers and their seating on the plane flight might have to be one grade below Economy Class (ie Cargo bay for all those who are interlectually challenged) in high altitude the air may be a little cold and thin. But their training in the shaolin mountants + their ability to control their breathing would serve them well.

They have been recommended (for this occasion) to grow a full head of hair and refrane from shaving because as we know it most of our body heat is lost through our heads.

A bright spark has suggested to me that Shaolin Monks should be placed on the endangered specise list. My next mission is to set up a "Save the Monks Fund".

joedoe
04-14-2001, 10:04 AM
Keep going Fu, this is hilarious. Where can I send my money? :D

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

ddh
04-15-2001, 01:48 AM
Well, Dr. Fu Manchu may I suggest that you change you name to Dr. Chew Da'man and get together with "Don Juan" of Carlos Castenades fame and work out a "Chi and sorcery" course for the inept.
That would surely bring in the crowd! After all, what is Gung Fu for but to impress the most with the least. A little sword and sorcery would inspire more computer games and probably make you and the monks --- A LOT'A MONEY!!!

Fu Manchu
04-15-2001, 10:33 AM
DDH

There are many ways of making money in this world and look good in the process achieving much fame in my monk hood. But i must ask myself whether it will glorify the rish history of Shaolin and Dr Fu Manchu.

What you've suggested is nothing short of mockery! I would rather see monks riding a mono cycle or seeing one with a full head of hair. Now that would be a real specticle!

Money and fame is not the object of our mission. Although a generous donation from you all would certainly help.

dunbarj01
04-15-2001, 10:20 PM
Sorry for laughing at you Fu Manchu...I realise that in doing so I took you far too seriously. By some strange coincidence you wouldn't be associated with Ego Maximus??

dunbarj01
04-15-2001, 10:29 PM
Abandit,

I think I should apologise to you. I just read the Southern KF forum and see that you think Fu is Ego or Ego is Fu. I think you are right - both have consistently low standards and both clowns post alike.

Cheers,

joedoe
04-16-2001, 01:16 AM
:)

Who knows who is who? As long as you know they are not serious posters, then that is all that matters :D

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

dunbarj01
04-16-2001, 05:24 AM
True, but knowing who's who makes wading through some of the posts that bit easier.

Fu Manchu
04-16-2001, 02:19 PM
Before one seeks to know someone else one should seek to know oneself as it is the Shaolin way. Do you truely know yourself, as without the certainty you'll not know someone else. But if you truely know youself there is no need to seek anything else. A fisher man who catches the fish forgets his nets. My friends, meditate on the wisdom of Buddah, Confucious, Mohamad or any other wise men and women of histroy and empty your minds to let your chi transcend.

As I have been Transcended.

dunbarj01
04-19-2001, 01:44 AM
Yes, quite right...You have been transcended

dunbarj01
04-19-2001, 01:45 AM
...probably by a good deal of the population.

Heming
04-20-2001, 12:16 PM
I has been training in Shaolin for 2 years, never see a Chinese disciple did drugs, and furthermore, I know there are parents from Hong Kong sent their kids to Shaolin master because they did drugs in Hong Kong and they are training kungfu in Shaolin Temple now as a method of quitting the drugs...this is true, I know there maybe are some foreign kungfu students who brought drugs and take them in Shaolin, but you said that monks take drugs, it is not real, otherwise, can you provide the name and the time they took drugs? did you see it with your own eyes?

it's not fun to make such a joke my friend!

Heming, Shaolin Temple
http://shaolin1500.com

Heming
Shaolin Secular Disciple's Union,
Shaolin Temple, Mt.Song, Henan 452491, P.R.China
Tel: +86(371)2749172
Fax: +1(212)98143
ICQ#: 17145752
Email: heming@shaolintemple.zzn.com
http://www.topcities.com/Arts/heming/index.htm
http://shaolintemple.yeah.net

Fu Manchu
04-21-2001, 02:13 AM
Hemming

Shaolin ideals have the potential of cultivating great character amongst young people. I will encourage all parents in Hong Kong and the rest of the world to send their kids to Shaolin. However, I know that this is just not possible, so I'll will make sure that Shaolin comes to them!

As we speak, the monks of Shaolin are enroute to New Orleans to supervise the building of a Shaolin theme park. This will be a great attraction to young people where they can have fun through new and exciting wild rides, meet celebraties and learn kung Fu. The theme park will also be the foundation of many satellite temples to be built all round the United States where the average person could drop in, say and pray, have a quick spar with the resident monk - all within 5 -10 mins.

This project will be called Fast Shaolin which is the Shaoiln equivalent to fast food like we have today.

I am Transcended

joedoe
04-22-2001, 02:10 AM
Troll.

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

dunbarj01
04-22-2001, 02:19 AM
Definately ego maximus' brand of bollocks.

Fu Manchu
04-22-2001, 12:23 PM
Once upon a time a young boy was adopted by a Shaolin Master. He was a good boy and followed the teaching of Shaolin to the letter. As the years went on, he became a little surprise that he had so many aunts who travelled from the city to visit his master and that they knew his Master so well. One day as the young boy was practicing kung fu out in the courtyard he heard noises disgusting groaning and moaning noises coming from his master's bed room. The next day he asked his mater "Mashtor, why did you make those animal noise it sounded so disgusting." His master replied "Buddah be praised, I was practicing the... the.... errrrr.... five animal kung fu, the highest level of kung fu known to man." The young boy was very curious and listened with his eyes wide upon and then asked. "Mashtor, and those srratches on your body....". His master said "That is subduing the tiger style".

His master's parting words were " be transcended, be blessed and in time you will learn". I think there's a message in the story for you all.

I am transcended.

Can-O-Bud
04-22-2001, 02:32 PM
I too would like to start up a martial arts fund to raise money.

You see I need to get some cash together to refit my garage into a shoalin training gym.

I need £20 for wood to build a new jong. £35 for a new speed ball. and £2.99 for a new Kali stick (cause i broke the last one on my sifu).

So thats a total of £57.99 sterling.

Please send donations to Scams-R-us, PO box 666, UK.

I thank you my dear brothers...

"My twa boab"

joedoe
04-23-2001, 03:43 AM
Yes, the spirit of Ta Mo has spoken to me and he said that if I don't raise $8mill by then end of May he will kill me. Please send all you can spare to spare my life.

Make all cheques payable to :

ABandit Shyster

And send them to:

Locked Bag BS
Scamsville Rortland.

Give till it hurts.

Guns don't kill people, I kill people

dunbarj01
04-23-2001, 04:21 AM
Tamo has actually placed me at the head of his fund raising organisation and has asked all individuals interested in donating to forward their money to me. Also Can-o-bud has passed power of atourney on to me and has made me caretaker of the "mook jong charity appeal". Unfortunately, he has been struck down by a mysterious case of amnesia and will not acknowledge this. Other than that he seems perfectly sane except that he got the target sum wrong - he actually needs $1.25 million. :D

joedoe
04-23-2001, 05:53 AM
Vlad,

While you may be at the head of the fund raising organisation, the funds are to go to me because if you don't raise the $8mill by the end of May, he will kill me. As I am bearing the risk, then the funds are to go into my bank account.

Of course, the funds will be directed from my account to worthy causes such as corporatising the Shaolin Temple and putting together a troupe of frolicking monk-eys.

We may even set up a Tae Bo University.

You have no chance to survive - make your time.