African Jeopardy!

[African Tiger]

So gang, in an attempt to further test my intelligence, I've decided to take the preliminary Jeopardy! test this Wednesday.

Many have failed this test, including Doctors, Lawyers, and MENSA members. I have no idea if I'll pass, but as I am rapidly approaching 40, I have to give it a shot.

Hopefully there will be lots of questions on my favorite subjects, including:

The 70's
Kung Fu
Wushu Chik (easily my "hands on" favorite...get it? Hands On? :D)
Hip Hop
and Classic Chevys

Wish me luck!

[wushu chik]

GOOD LUCK AT!!!

Hope you do well, although I'm sure you will!!! And if they ask any ANY questions about me, i'll be totally scared!

~Wen~:cool:

[Serpent]

What's the Jeopardy test?

[African Tiger]

You know, I'm really not sure what the test entails, Serpent. I think it's a standard adult aptitude test, Jeopardy! style. People who pass the test are invited to become contestants on the show.

As long as there aren't any math questions, I'm a shoe in to become a contestant. Hey, I didn't say I was perfect...:(

[Serpent]

Oh right, I see. Jeopardy is a show? Like a gameshow?

[shaolin kungfu]

It's a really hard game show. You have to be super smart to get on.

[PHILBERT]

It is famous for how it is played. They give you the answers, you gotta tell them what the question is. They have it in categories. Say there is a martial arts movies category and the answer is "This martial arts star appeared in the opening scene with Bruce Lee's Enter The Dragon", what the contestant will say is hey "Who Is Sammo Hung?" and he/she will get the money.

So 3 people stand there, one person says "I'll take Wushu Chick for $500 Alex" and Alex says the answer "Style of Kung Fu she practices" and whoever rings in first and says "What is Shaolin?" gets the points.

[Serpent]

Right. With you now. Sounds interesting, if a little bizarre.

Good luck, AT, hope you win a fortune.

Do you get that thing over there where there are serial game show contestants that repeatedly appear on all sort of shows and almost make living at it?

We get things like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and the host will say something like, "This is Bob. Bob won $250,000 in cash and prizes on Wheel Of Fortune in 1999 and over $50,000 in cash and prizes on Sale Of The Century last year! Can Bob answer his way tonight to One Million Dollars?! Let's see!"

Cue raptuorous audience applause and brainless drooling and head wobbling.

Do you get that?

[PHILBERT]

No we don't get people who frequently appear on game shows here.

Next to Price is Right (which isnt really a show about intelligence but more of luck and skill), Jeopardy is probably the most popular U.S. Game show. I can't count how many times we've played games in grade school and classmates answered in the form of a question by accident.

[Serpent]

Freaky.

I guess we only have 19 million people here. More chance of doubling up your appearances! ;)

[SifuAbel]

Practce question/answer:

The category is cunundrums.

$1000.00 question

The answer: Free ham

doo - DOO- DOO- doo - doo- dee - doo

DOO- Doo- do dee doo dee do- dododo

[shaolin kungfu]

What is the substance that makes up sifu abel's head?

Just kidding.

[SifuAbel]

Oh so sorry, that is incorrect. Now the question goes to our other contestants.

[norther practitioner]

What is the secret technique of mastery in Abel fist kung fu?

[FatherDog]

Good luck, AT. Be sure to give a shout out to KFO if you make it on the air :D

[eulerfan]

Originally posted by African Tiger
As long as there aren't any math questions, I'm a shoe in to become a contestant. Hey, I didn't say I was perfect...:(

If it's a math question and you don't know the answer, just say, "Who is Euler?!" (pronounced 'oiler')

[norther practitioner]

Oh, and good luck AT!!!

[shaolin kungfu]

If it's a math question and you don't know the answer, just say, "Who is Euler?!" (pronounced 'oiler')

I've been reading your name as "yoolerfan".

[guohuen]

And AT. Don't even think about Weird Al singing "I lost at Jeopardy, Baby, Whoooo Whooo Whooo"

[eulerfan]

Originally posted by shaolin kungfu


I've been reading your name as "yoolerfan".

Yeah, it does look that way. D@mned swiss and their messed up names.

It's pronounced 'oiler' and I live in Houston. I've met a few mathematicians who thought they were the first to see the connection.

[norther practitioner]

I've met a few mathematicians who thought they were the first to see the connection.


As an Engineer, I might actually be able to say... ****s!

;)

I always thought it was pronounced like the Norse snow god Uler.... Oh well

[Kristoffer]

:D

[PHILBERT]

"I'll take famous titties for $100 Trebeck."

"Um...that's titles Mr Connery."

"Aye, not much with the ladies are you Trebeck?"
-----------------------------

"And in 3rd place...Sean Connery."

"We meet again Trebeck. I noticed you didn't sit down during the break. What's wrong sweety? Did you have a date last night?"

-----------------------------

"What is it Mr Connery?"

"Knock knock"

"Sigh, who's there?"

"Me, the guy who slept with your mother last night."

------------------------------

"Mr Connery, who is the drummer for The Beatles?"

"Craven Moorehead."

"Who is Craving More Head?"

"Apparently you are Trebeck."

-------------------------------

"Lets see what Martha Stewart wrote. Absolutely nothing..."

"Alex I'm filthy rich. I don't need your chump change."

"But you're playing for charity..."

"...screw them."

--------------------------------

"Welcome back to celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongril idiot decided to do a Celebrity Millionaire, and network competition being that it is, I stand before you a broken, and miserable man."

--------------------------------

"Lets look at the scores. Sean Connery has set a new record with fatility..."

"Shuck on in Trebeck. Shuck it long, and shuck it hard."

"And you kiss your mother with that mouth..."

"No, but I did something with your mother with this mouth."

-----------------------------------

"Lets just go with Foreign Flicks for $800."

"Urshel Andrish."

"Excuse me Mr Connery?"

"Urshel Andrish, Katherine Denur, and Charle Twishe."

"That's foreign FLICKS Mr Connery."

-------------------------------------

"Let's just go on to Final Jeopardy. The category is...Oh God why would they do this? The category is Famous Mothers."

"HAHahahahaha! My day has come Trebeck!"

---------------------------------------

"And finally Sean Connery is here. Now lets move on to..."

"Not so fast Trebeck!"

"I really thought that was gonna work."

"You were wrong you motor bank. I pose a conundrum to you. A riddle if you will. Whats the difference between a mallet and you? One's a sick duck and the other...I can't remember how it ends but your mother is a *****."

-----------------------------------------

"And Sean Connery answered...wait I think I know where this is going...yes, that is a horse having sex with me."

[shaolin kungfu]

I love celebrity jeopoardy.:)

[PHILBERT]

I downloaded them off KaZaA and typed them up.

[shaolin kungfu]

" This is the sound a dog makes."
"Moo."
" That is incorrect. We would have accepted bow wow, bark, or ruff."
"ahhh, rough. Just the way your momma likes it trebeck."

[African Tiger]

I saw a few of those on SNL - I have never laughed so hard in my life.

There was one that Kazaa didn't have. Sean Connery (sic) revealed his final answer as "K." Alex (sic) says, "What is K? What kind of answer is K?" Sean reveals his answer to say "SucK it, Trebek!"

[SifuAbel]

Toot- toot-toot

I'm sorry we've run out of time.

The correct question was:
What is the ultimate Jewish dilema?

[norther practitioner]

Screw you Abel

[SifuAbel]

mashuga, Kishum my un tukas.

It's a joke, get over it.

:p

[African Tiger]

I DIDN'T PASS THE TEST!!!

Actually I don't think I did too badly. I only missed 10 questions or so, out of 50. I think they wanted 70%, and I really wish they had given me my test, so I could study for the next one...

...oh hell yeah, I'm going to take the test every year until I pass it, baby! But for now...can someone loan me a "Dunce Cap?" Anyone who studied at Temple Kung Fu should have plenty of them lying around :D