Ask me your questions

[Sin The']

and if you are worthy I shall answer.

Shao-Lin Forever.

[Water Dragon]

What's the story with the Hairy Guy?

[shaolin kungfu]

He is a half wookie half ewok(sp). He came to earth and learned shaolin from the japanese( hence the wearing of gi's). He also brought with him the ancient combat arts of the ewok, and was a master of over 40,000 forms.

[SaMantis]

Why does beer have bubbles?

[shaolin kungfu]

Why does the dryer eat my socks?

[eulerfan]

Why can't you tickle yourself?

[shaolin kungfu]

What's that smell?

[Chang Style Novice]

Are you an Original Sin, a Venal Sin, or a Mortal Sin?

[Xebsball]

how do i get the wimmins? :confused:

[shaolin kungfu]

Can we get a pool dad?

[fa_jing]

Who was the real shaolin traitor?

Did a monk really cut his arm off so that Da Mo would teach the Shaolin monks?

was Ng Mui a hottie? Do bald monk chicks get down???

[shaolin kungfu]

could you beat up jesus?

[Xebsball]

Santa vs Easter Bunny under Pride rules, who wins?

[shaolin kungfu]

If I play with it, will i go blind?

[Chang Style Novice]

Can I borrow a couple grand?

[FatherDog]

What light through yonder window breaks?

[Chang Style Novice]

What does Tony Soprano see in that nitwit Paulie Walnuts anyway?

[shaolin kungfu]

If i pick at it, will it get infected?

[FatherDog]

What's taking Godot so long?

[shaolin kungfu]

why won't you answer our questions?

[Xebsball]

why cant i find mushroom tea on the supermarket? :confused:

[FatherDog]

Who is the Emperor of Ice Cream?

[shaolin kungfu]

What's that burning sensation?

[FatherDog]

Why does this image exist? (http://www.thosebears.com/images/davidhasseloff.jpg)

[eulerfan]

If I eat a pack of pop rocks and drink a coke, will my stomach explode?

[BAI HE]

Do you eat corn the long way?

[shaolin kungfu]

Why does that image exist?

[BAI HE]

Have you written any other fiction besides your lineage?

[eulerfan]

Originally posted by FatherDog
Why does this image exist? (http://www.thosebears.com/images/davidhasseloff.jpg)

Okay, everybody, stop posting. We have a winner.

[shaolin kungfu]

Why did i make that image my desktop background?:eek:

[FatherDog]

FatherDog Wins. Hasselhoffality.

[Sin The']

So many question. I can see your teachers have left your minds starving.


What's the story with the Hairy Guy?

Su Kong Tai Jin had a disease which caused him to grow hair all over his body. It is not common but it is well documented in cases around the world. He was the last Grandmaster of Shaolin before the temple was burnt.




Why do you wear Japanese Gis.?

If you read my book you will learn the truth that Shaolin monks wore gi's. We have the pictures to prove it.



Why does beer have bubbles?
In your sissy American beer it is carbonation. IN Shaolin Do beer it is pure Qi.




Why does the dryer eat my socks?
There are other dimensions and realities beynd those which your mere human senses can detect. Many lost items find their way into these hidden places. Email me privately and I will send you my tape on ESP and clairvoyence for a small fee.




Why can't you tickle yourself?
I donb't know why you can't. I can and I am right now.


What's that smell?
The smell of fresh, unadulterated Shaolin Do clearing the air of the foul stench of the pretenders.


Are you an Original Sin, a Venal Sin, or a Mortal Sin?
THE Original Sin, of course. Now buy my book.




how do i get the wimmins?
Join Shaolin Do, get the Official Sin The' Mullet and learn our secret Puntane Luring Qi blast Kata and the ladies will flock to your door just like they do mine.


Can we get a pool dad?
NO. The last time we got a pool I nearly went broke.


Who was the real shaolin traitor?
G. Gordon Liddy



Did a monk really cut his arm off so that Da Mo would teach the Shaolin monks?
Of course. Unfortunately it was his wanking arm so he never learned the Golden **** Kata.


was Ng Mui a hottie? Do bald monk chicks get down???
Shaven headed nuns give great head, or so they tell me.


could you beat up jesus?

Of course! He was nothing but a bleeding heart, liberal sissy, hippy. I would make Jesus weep.

[Shaolin-Do]

"If I eat pop rocks and drink soda will my stomach explode?"
No. But It gave me reallllly bad gas... :)

[Chang Style Novice]

Hey, he answered! We're worthy!

[Sin The']

Originally posted by Xebsball
Santa vs Easter Bunny under Pride rules, who wins?

Santa knows the Shaolin Do 20 Rhug Mun Ching Kata. He would crash the foolish rabbit.

[shaolin kungfu]

I think i know who the mystery poster is.

Edit: You didn't tell us why that picture of hasselhoff exists, or why it has become my background.

[FatherDog]

Or why this movie was made. (http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/c/chatterbox.html)

[@PLUGO]

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie rollTM center of a Tootsie PopTM???

[cwheelie]

are we there yet?

[Former castleva]

"Why can't you tickle yourself?"
Current neuroscientifical theory holds that it is impossible because your brain recognizes it,so to speak.
It predicts the tickle from the movement,it includes secondary somatosensory cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex which are less active while you tickle yourself.Also this has to do with cerebellum.
Visualisation etc. may influence.

[African Tiger]

Are we having fun yet?

Who's on First?

If a tree falls on a liberal in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does anyone really care?

Who let the dogs out? And along those lines, Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat?

Why does it always rain when you wash your car?

Why is the sky blue?

If I blow the President of the United States, can I have my own tv show?

If a train leaves Denver going to Los Angeles traveling at 67 mph, how long will it take to get there?

Why can't we elect a 3rd party candidate for President?

Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? Do you know?

What's new, ***** cat?

Is there anyone on earth who didn't know Rosie O'Donnell was a lesbian before she "came out?" (I think starving children in Ethiopia knew that)

[Sin The']

Are we having fun yet?

Yes. You are having an immense amount of Fun. Your Grandmaster commands it.


Who's on First?

Bill Leonard.



If a tree falls on a liberal in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does anyone really care?

Sin The' and Shaolin Do hate the vile liberal. Why would we care? Liberals like arts that contain rolling around on a mat with a sweaty man.


Why does that image exist? Why did i make that image my desktop background?

It exists to remind us of the Evil Germans and their refusal to help us attack Iraq. You have it as your background because the FALSE Shao-Lin you practice has drained your Yang chi and made you efeminate. The First Shao-Lin Do Kata "Sei Moon Tao Lei" will correct this imbalance.




Have you written any other fiction besides your lineage?

My lineage is the ONLY TRUE LINEAGE of Shao-Lin. I am working on a movie and you can buy my book at Amazon.com

[African Tiger]

But Grand*******! I had many more questions and you refused to answer! Like many of your students, I feel so disillusioned and led astray...

From now on, I'm going to train with Temple Kung Fu! :p

[shaolin kungfu]

From now on, I'm going to train with Temple Kung Fu!

And AT makes the leap from one fire right into another.

[Royal Dragon]

I was in Chung Moo Quan, both Temple Kung Fu an Shaolin Do are mear wannab's in comparisen, and don't impress me.

On a more serius note, how come the clip of Shaolin Do's Mantis looks like really bad Karate with some hokey mantis claws thrown in for good measure?

[shaolin kungfu]

Where's that clip RD?

[Royal Dragon]

It was on the Shaolin Do site back when Willow Sword had his big fight, and subsequently converted to real Kung Fu.

You'd have to look and see what is on there now, it's been a long time.

Ask Wen though, she will back me on it if it's not there anymore. It was the worst hack "Kung Fu wannabe" form I have ever seen (At that point anyway)

[joedoe]

I gotta back RD up on this. I was ... let's say disappointed by the clips on the website. The mantis looked average, the tiger didn't look like much of a tiger, and the buddha palm looked more like some sort of dance.

Having had no personal contact with them though, I might put it down to the person on the video clip doing a bad job of it.

[Royal Dragon]

Joe, it was way worse than that. I have video of some great Mantis here in my library, as well as having seen it around competitions and schools in Chicago for as long as I can remember. On top of that, I study a style that was a primary influance on the development of North Mantis. What I saw was not even a Chinese art, let alone North Mantis. At best it was a botched Karate Kata with some Mantis claws thrown in for $hits and Giggles

[Starchaser107]

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

whose ending in tekken 4 is really the true ending?

why doesnt j-lo do porn?

[African Tiger]

because they'd have to shoot her a.s.s. in Cinemascope on 70mm film stock - and no porn producer is going to pay for all that. They can't even spring for good music! :D

Not to mention she's already doing porno... "J-Ho Marries Everybody"

[The Willow Sword]

ORIGINALLY POSTED by ROYAL PAIN IN THE A$$,,UHH I MEAN ROYAL DRAGON :p


It was on the Shaolin Do site back when Willow Sword had his big fight, and subsequently converted to real Kung Fu


Uhhhh Yeah thats right:rolleyes:


About the SD mantis forms. Before i joined Sd i was Taught a couple of Mantis forms and i did notice a big difference in the flow and movement that the SD Ones had as opposed to the ones i was taught by my previous teacher under dr John Winglock Ng.

I liked the previous mantis forms better.

[old jong]

Is that guy a shaolin...do master too?... (http://www.uglypeople.com/uglymen/section.images.2003041708/up-men-00291.jpg)

[norther practitioner]

Who taught you more, the squirrel or the chipmunk?
I bet the squirrel taught you more forms, the chipmunk more apps.

[PHILBERT]

I got one question and one question alone...

Will it ever work out between me and M_ArtsMargie?

[tsunami surfer]

What was that noise behind me?? I aint lookin.

[chen zhen]

That would be me, TS

[tsunami surfer]

Thank god!!! I thought it might be ninja's or david hasselhoff with those wrinkle dogs:p

[norther practitioner]

I got one question and one question alone...
Will it ever work out between me and M_ArtsMargie?



...shakes magic 8 ball...

outlook not so good

[Dark Knight]

Who named the system Shaolin Do?

[norther practitioner]

Link not working, try this one


one of these guys (http://www.shaolin-do.com/masters/index.shtml)

[Sin The']

Originally posted by Dark Knight
Who named the system Shaolin Do?

The System has been called Shao-Lin Do since before the time of the Puce Emperor. The current b@stardization "Shaolin" is a construct of Communist Chinese and American Liberals. If you fail to recognize this you are weak and foolish.

[Dark Knight]

"The System has been called Shao-Lin Do since before the time of the Puce Emperor. The current b@stardization "Shaolin" is a construct of Communist Chinese and American Liberals. If you fail to recognize this you are weak and foolish."

So seriuosly, who called it Shaolin Do?

[Shaolin-Do]

Who else but ghthomason himself...?
or was it norther practitioner?
sh!t... I forget sometimes...
;p

[Shaolin-Do]

Actually sin called it Shaolin "Do"
Most of us still dont know why.
Or at least I dont.
:)

[CLFNole]

Wouldn't Shaolin Do-Do make more sense.

[Shaolin-Do]

Methinks that would just confuse people more....
:)

[neit]

even if shaolin-do was authentic, those cheesy kempo-esque uniforms are enough to tell me to stay clear.

[African Tiger]

I was thinking more like Shaolin - Shoo Be Doo Be Doo.

I heard Frank Sinatra was an early master of the system, and his name used to be Sin-Na'tra :D :D

But seriously, and I apologize for my comment, but the photos from that website that Northern posted look like a bunch of guys doing 1/2 ass kung fu in karotty uniforms.

And in all honesty, from the uniforms and techniques, it looks like Kenpo to me. I mean, isn't that symbol on the left panel of their gi's (right under the red/white yin & yang) one of Ed Parker's logos? Not that there's anything wrong with Ed Parker Kenpo (I study it myself), but it's a completely different animal than kung fu.

[rubthebuddha]

if shaolin-do is supposed to be a chinese style, why is sin the thé only one of the current instructors who's not a westerner?

and why are some of the senior instructors -- black belts -- wearing white gis with an orange belt?

and why does that retard that lives by my work drive his wheelchair down the middle of the road?

and why does mountain dew taste so **** good?

[African Tiger]

and Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat?

[PHILBERT]

Lemme say it AGAIN because you didnt answer...




I got one question and one question alone...

Will it ever work out between me and M_ArtsMargie?

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by African Tiger
and Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat?

Woof.

[chen zhen]

How can a varewolf be a shaolin-do grandmaster? (Northern practicioners link..)

[Shaolin-Do]

Im not sure about you but I would be scared sh!tless of a wearwolf, and if that motherf*cker knew kung fu????
that would be some scury sh!t.
:)
And how would you all feel if some chubby overly-hairy boy is reading these posts and crying his chubby little overly-hairy eyes out?




;)

[Shaolin-Do]

Blah... Why are the forums moving sooo slow today?
Is boring.
:(

[Newb]

Can you tell me how to properly do a Horse Stance while typing in the forum?

[Ego_Extrodinaire]

and why on NP s last link does the Sin Kwang hold a 10 th degree belt but bears no semblance to Arnie??

[Golden Tiger]

This thread was kind of funny......

[Eddie]

Want this the link you were looking for?
http://www.uglypeople.com/uploaded/6/ugly3.jpg

[Chang Style Novice]

May I borrow your socket wrench?

[Judge Pen]

Ever heard of "Black Eggs"?

[The Willow Sword]

you have been going on and ON for YEARS about this movie you are in the process of making. i remember you saying once that it takes a really long time for a movie to be made(especially when you have no investors in the story;) )

So now that SD is taking over the USA like starbucks is taking over the world,,,shouldnt you NOW have enough money to do your own independant film about SD? i mean you could play the wookie grandmaster(whos real name is Li baoshu of the beijing circus and zoo of the 1930's) and you can get all your underlings to play the monks and such wearing karate gis and yelling "KIA" on short KATA #10:p

the possibilities are endless so whats up?

[MasterKiller]

WS,
Here is the knowledge you seek! (http://www.rottenshaolinzombies.com/)

[Judge Pen]

:confused: I never yell "kia" on anything. I don't understand, why would WS have been taught differently than me?

[Newb]

Originally posted by Ego_Extrodinaire
and why on NP s last link does the Sin Kwang hold a 10 th degree belt but bears no semblance to Arnie??

You weak minded fool, your eyes decieve you. Arnold is filled with water and steriods, he has no Qi.

Can Arine wrap himself around a pole and climb it without hands and feet? Of course not, that's why he has such soft skin.

[Ego_Extrodinaire]

listen nooby, I think you missed about 10 mths worth of chats on the subject , so I'm not even responding to that.. you made my case anyway! :rolleyes:

[Newb]

Originally posted by Ego_Extrodinaire
listen nooby, I think you missed about 10 mths worth of chats on the subject , so I'm not even responding to that.. you made my case anyway! :rolleyes:

Although I did read through them, I bow humbly before ur presence. HAI!!

[BM2]

MasterKiller's google skills amaze me. He find a link to any thread:eek:

[Radhnoti]

First off...I think TWS was referring to #10 SPARRING Technique. But, he could have also (if he learned it as I did) have used short kata (although my school says form) #5.
Every SD school I've interacted with (quite a few since I tested with schools from all over KY) let out a "kia" on those techniques.

We were never offered the option of dropping the yell on those techniques, but we WERE offered the option of dropping the crane noises and bird noises during 2nd and 3rd brown.

[The Willow Sword]

:rolleyes: my question was about the movie anyway.