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Panther
07-08-2001, 01:07 AM
At our school we are located in the suburbs of San Jose and in our community it is known primarily as ghetto and in our close knit community, many of our students are former drug addicts, alcoholics, we even have students who are christians, so you can see we have students from all walks of life. I do parttime work in a local community counseling center and many times fellow students will come to my job and ask me my advise on a particular subject mainly because they know about my background and my job as a counselor. When I was younger my life consisted of drugs, alcohol, and I was known to socialize with the common thug, and to this day I still have the respect of these individuals even though that lifestyle was 10 years ago and I only speak of it as a part of my past and I try not to glorify it in any way but use my past as a way to get across to someone who is considering this type of lifestyle. KungFu was instrumental in changing me to the man I am today, AA,NA, religion, none of these were able to change me only MARTIAL ARTS were able to make a change in my life.
And so my question is this there is an individual who is primarily involved in the game, and he has for some time been considering quitting his gang and everything that comes with it, but he has only stayed with it because of his wife and family because they are so caught up in the game themselves, they have put so much pressure on him to stay with it that him quitting never materialized. He has shown an interest in MA and a willingness to change his current life patterns and what I know of him he is a very loyal person and respected family member, he always provides for his family and he would never lift a finger to actually hurt someone unless they tried to actually physically hurt him.
But here's the problem, he has this dilemna, for many years of changing his lifestyle he knows that the only way that he can possibly change is through MA especially when he witnessed how it actually changed my life. He was very reluctant over the past years due to his family influence and his nagging wife, but now a change has occured his wife has left him for another man and they just finalized their divorce and according to what he has told me she is out of his life for good. I have advised him to pursue his dreams and ambitions now that she is out of the picture. I believe that by her leaving him that it was a mystical sign, opening the doors for him to pursue his ambitions as a Martial Artist.
Many of my fellow students who I have I have shown the path of Martial Arts to have become better family members and have turned around their lifes and have all benefited for what the art has to offer them. He has told me in confidence that he is willing to start the healing process and start on a new journey and to see where MA will take him.

What do you fellow Martial Artists feel about this? Did I advise him the right way or what?

[This message was edited by PANTHER on 07-08-01 at 04:37 PM.]

Radhnoti
07-08-2001, 11:58 PM
It seems to me that you gave the guy great advice. Classic psychology, find out what someone REALLY wants anyway and advise them to pursue it. I admit to not knowing a great deal about the "gang lifestyle", but if it's actually as the media portrays it any advice that leads to his leaving would be good. Hope everything works out well for him, and you. :)

-Radhnoti