New Il Shaolin School

[Black Jack]

I found these two flyers at my gym and since their are some posters here who live in this area and for those that might like a chuckle here is the info on a new Shaolin Kung Fu school that just opened up.

I am making no assumptions per say as I have no emprical evidence on the teacher but I bet when you get to the last part of the second flyer you can guess what it is.

Shaolin Kung Fu
Learn Martial Arts In A Holistic and Metaphysic Way

Learn empty hand and weapon forms. Learn how to do front and back flips! Learn to start healing yourself from within. Learn about the flow of chi (life force) through your body, philosophy, and much more of the elements needed to have balance in your life.

Learn to get rid of headaches, colds, and control asthma WITHOUT MEDICINE!

Anyone can train regardless of physical abilities (hearing impaired, back or knee problems etc.). Any form done in hard style can also be expressed in soft style. you will learn how each movement feels to you because your techniques should not be rehearsed but flexiable enough to adapt to any situation.

THE BEAUTY OF KUNG FU IS THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A TOP ATHLETE!

Over 18 Classes Per Week!

Listen for enrollment specials on wbig-am1280 "The Radio Shopping Show"

For more information call Luna Martial Arts Academy at 630-897-5275 located at 11w. Downer Pl. Aurora, Il 60506

Flyer 2-

WELCOME TO THE PATH OF HAPPINESS
April 25-June 1

Come to open your source of strength and harmony!

Astroplanetary Karate
Level 1

Astroplanetary Karate is the epitome of martial arts. you will never be humiliated, weak or helpless again. Learn to operate rays and substance of energy. By mastering the practice of conduction Astral fight you will become strong, confident, calm, and able better to defend yourself.

Ancient Astral Yoga
Level 1

Practices will use the help of cosmic energy flows to heal your body and soul. Connect with the stars fulfill your chakras and support your aura! It will bring balance to your emotional life and harmony in every relationship.

Concluding Seminar with the Master Beaven Mamonta will give you transforming knowledge, energy and protection. In just one day you can lay the foundations for happy life changes. booklet and tapes from the course will help you to continue your learning.

Locations-

Astroplanetary Karate
Four Sundays 11:30-1:00 p.m
Luna Martial Arts Academy
11 W. Downer Place, Aurora Il, 60506

Astral Yoga
Four Fridays 6:30-7:30
The Center for Human Arts Instruction
14F W. Downer Place, Aurora Il, 60506

Four Saturdays 11:30-1:00 p.m
Luna Martial Arts Academy
11 W. Downer Place, Aurora, Il 60506

To register call 630-698-4840 Oksana Hites

[ewallace]

Learn to operate rays and substance of energy
Cool. I get pretty darn tired of trying to find a microwave everytime I want some popcorn.

Congratulations on your new school Kung Lek! :)

[CrippledAvenger]

Funny how I've yet to see one of those schools in the south side...

;)

[ewallace]

Maybe fans would stop attacking Royals base coaches if there was a school on the south side. :)

[CrippledAvenger]

Nah, we'd just be too deadly to fight mere baseball players.



:D

[GeneChing]

Now why does yoga and karate get descriptions like astroplanetary and astral and shaolin gets just plain old shaolin? I blame Kwai Chang Caine for this oversight. :rolleyes:

[Black Jack]

I wonder how Astroplanetary Karate would do in Vale Tudo?

Some of the pics on the hippie Astral Yoga flyer showed, and I can not remeber what they stand for right now, a circle with a plus sign in it going slightly down, and a circle with a arrow going up, with a dude in karate gi doing some sort of movements, that look like standing yoga positions.

Ewallace- That was pretty funny. Thought the same thing.

[guohuen]

Note to self: Do not. Repeat. Do not drink coffee and read ewallace at the same time!:eek:

[carly]

Astroplanetary Karate! I love it! Next time I see someone doing some bullshido thing, I'll ask if they are practicing Astroplanetary Karate.

[Fred Sanford]

Funny how I've yet to see one of those schools in the south side...

somebody would probably walk in and test their made up bullsh*t out. SOUTH SIDE!!!!!!!!!!

what a bunch of a$$sholes to even try to sell this crap.

[Royal Dragon]

You know, I'd like to take a moment to pointout to all those people who gave me intese greife (off line) about "ME" wanting to open a general public, main stream club (Mc kwoon) in the same area, because my Kung Fu is not what they think it should be, that AT LEAST I WAS GOING TO BE OFFERING A SOLID LEGIT PROGRAM!!!!

My God, I took all this heat from people, and look what happens, I decided not to open a club, and a bunch of supernatural weirdo's open a club in my area instead.

See, If I had opened my club as planned, sure I wouldn't have a program that would draw the hard core crowd, but i'd sure have a respectable, sane alternative to what opened in my place, and I would have been in a position to promote real Kung Fu to the main stream at least. Now we have a bunch of froot loops teaching the mainstream that Kung Fu is some sort of supernatural gobldy-gook pseudo religion.

Now, the descision for me to not open had more to do with the deal falling apart than the heat took from people, but still my point is that main stream isn't going to go fully hard core anyway, and programs like mine would have educated the masses, and rasied public awareness of legit Kung Fu in general.

So, to those who were all down on me (you know who you are), what do you think would have been better? me, or these bizzaro's? Do you understand my point now?

Black Jack, you intersted in checking this place out with me?

[Black Jack]

Royal,

I thought this post would tick you off a tad.:D

I understand your fustration as you are a kf guy and you really seem to have heart about what you research. You love the chinese kung fu systems and your posts often show this. Plus you are in this area so I can see even more concern.

To me its more of a roll of the eyes and a sense of wonderment.

I have not spoken to the guy so I don't know his intentions but I would tell you by what I have read so far I would never suggest to a friend to go to this gentleman because of concerns that come up in the flyer.

I work out at Powerhouse gym in Naperville on Ogden so I wonder if the guy is a member of my gym. Their is a vague pic on the main flyer that is kinda superimposed which I believe shows a guy in iron broom sweep type of position in what looks like shaolin monk robes weilding two broadswords. The guy also looks like he has the monk "bald" style haircut.

Royal the best bet for you would be to call the dude as a local kf martial artist and friendly scholar and find out about himself and his program. Maybe he says he does tai tzu.....:eek:

If the guy turns out to be a total weird-o on the phone don't waste you gas. Actually maybe I will call the guy tommorow if I am bored and find out some more info.

If I have the time I might go check it out but the guy kinda sounds a little to metaphysical for me.

If you want to see one of his flyers yourself go the Powerhouse gym on Ogden in Naperville. The flyers are on the right hand side by the juice bar. I will be their from around 12:00 to 1:00 tomorrow if you show up.

[Royal Dragon]

Maybe he says he does tai tzu.....

I'd kill him!! There's enough frauds running around claiming to teach the "Royal arts" as it is.


I will be their from around 12:00 to 1:00 tomorrow if you show up.

I may stop by if I have time. I am in my off season for work, so I am up to my ears in various money making scemes till I get called back. I live by Ogden and Cass, so I might be able to swing it, we'll see what happens. I will play it by ear.

[Black Jack]

No big,

If so I will be the kinda short young looking guy in a green cougars cap.

Either way let me know if you call him. I will do the same if I call him tommorow.

It would be rad if he picks up the phone and goes "Grand Royal Astrophysical Academy of Southern Tai Tzu Long Fist...how may I help you?" :D

[Royal Dragon]

I'd Kill him a BUNCH of times!!!!:eek:

[Water Dragon]

Have you had a chance to check out the Golden Mountain?