Worst Martial Arts Movie Ever!!!!!

[Surferdude]

The most horrible ma movie ever has to be a movie called......
Kickboxing Academy!!!!! This movie is so bad that you'll die!
Seriously the choerography(sp?) is really bad and, the ending is horrible!!!!! The head instructor of some dum school takes out an automatic gun out of nowhere and starts shooting in the air,the a 3 foot kid uppercuts him and he gets knoucked out!!!:eek: :confused: I was so confused in this movie.. anyone else see it???:D :eek: :o :confused: :mad:

[Kristoffer]

Matrix
Pretty ****ing bad fight scenes

[Sho]

The fight scenes in the Matrix were eye candy to the western audience. But hey, I really respect Yuen Wo Ping's work and I believe his intention was to choreograph stuff that appeals the general audience.

[jun_erh]

the new tnn has an endless supply of those white guy karate movies like "The Perfect Weapon" etc. But they also have most extreme elimination challenge (aka Takeshi's Island), an awesome show.

[StickyHands]

Hey Hey Hey, no denouncing Matrix now ok? They revolutionized the whole slow sequence motion spectrum, where you can jump up in the mid air or see bullets pass by. lol. It's all for fun, besides, there some Chen Tai Chi thrown in there as well. I mean if you noticed or not, when Neo decides to save Morpheus in the Matrix, and he's fully loaded with all the gears and guns, you'd notice him performing the push hands on the first guard initiating the fight actions. Now that was Tai Chi.... if you wanted them to do slow form of Tai Chi in Matrix... ahh, think anyone wanna pay for the movie to watch it? lol. Besides, in my opinion, it was a lot better than most of the choreographed flops that Jet Li made in the past as well as Jackie Chan.

[chen zhen]

the Big Boss

and Black belt Jones:cool:

[Surferdude]

Yea the Matrix Hahahahahahahaha.:p :D ;)

[Sasha]

Kickfighter, without question.

[Sho]

Tower of Death was somewhat odd in my opinion. :confused:

[cho]

The Matrix
Romeo Must Die
Ninja: The Final Duel
The Big Boss

[MasterKiller]

Let me guess, all you Matrix-haters are big Lord of the Rings fans, right? :rolleyes:

[Surferdude]

Hahahaha you betcha!!!:D

[firepalm]

Worst martial arts movie(s) ever is a multiple tie, essentially anything done by Chuck Norris! :D

[firepalm]

Anything that Van Damme has done is also tied with anything that Chuck Norris has done as worst possible martial arts movie(s).

Oh and add anything also done by Joe Lewis (Jaguar Lives... arrrrrrrggggghhh.... bad, bad, bad totally wrong)

:rolleyes:

[Laughing Cow]

No retreat, no surrender I & II

[Surferdude]

Originally posted by firepalm
Anything that Van Damme has done is also tied with anything that Chuck Norris has done as worst possible martial arts movie(s).

Oh and add anything also done by Joe Lewis (Jaguar Lives... arrrrrrrggggghhh.... bad, bad, bad totally wrong)

:rolleyes:


Dam... do you have anything against american fighters???
(well they arent as good as hollywood wants you to think they are but...)
Edit- Well american Fighters that were in movies

[firepalm]

No they just suck to watch! :D

[MasterKiller]

As opposed to all those really cool Canadian fighters?

Bob and Doug McKenzie are the toughest guys to come out of Canada since Capt. Kirk.

[firepalm]

http://www.wccma.com/brucedemo.htm

[StickyHands]

LOL. Regardless, if Van Damme is a fighter or anything in real life, all of his movies sucked, and not just because of the plot, but his horrible acting. And I wont try to make any comments on his fighting abilities. Lets just say I liked Sasha Mitchell doing the other American Kickboxer movies than the first movie of the series Van Damme starred in.

[Kristoffer]

I love Matrix as a movie I just think that the ****ing fight scenes is as entertaining to watch as dog **** on a wall. And it bugs me that sci-fi nerds think Keanu and Co are 'fighters'.

[kenso]

Originally posted by chen zhen
the Big Boss

and Black belt Jones:cool:
Black Belt Jones was a masterpiece compared to its sequel: Hot Potato. "Are you from Boston?"

[StickyHands]

Who said "they are fighters?" But as an actor in Matrix, he's ok. I mean you can put someone who has no experiences in Kung Fu, and they can probably "act" the same way or better. But eitherway, be content with what you got, otherwise you just wasted your movie ticket.

[Kristoffer]

People with no martial arts training have a tendancy to view their favorite actors as bad ass fighters. You've never seen this? Wake up.. ;)

[Former castleva]

Karate Warrior 2 (Utter waste material,if you can find it,do watch it just for the record)
Matrix.
Street Fighter.

[chen zhen]

Best of the Best

Black Samurai(or return of black samurai.. something like that...also jim kelly):D

[Kristoffer]

Best of the Best is cool

[chen zhen]

OK the first one was allright, but 2-? is butt-awfull

[Kristoffer]

Oh right.. forget bout the second.. ye is pretty ****ty arite

[Former castleva]

Power Rangers is better than Best of The Best. :D

Man,was that movie corny.

[chen zhen]

power rangers suck major ass

I mean, LOOK AT THEM!!:eek:


now, the Turtles is something else..

[Former castleva]

Turtles rocked as a cartoon.

[Surferdude]

Definitly.. The sais, Bo staff, chucks, swords... No one can beat that!!! Espcially(sp) when they say "Kowabunga Dude"!!!
:) :D ;) :p

[chen zhen]

they should ditch the "dude"..

[Former castleva]

It´s a bit odd though that they do prey on that humanly female reporter.

[chen zhen]

A little sodomy going on right there

[Former castleva]

It cannot hurt though,to be able to cram so much junk food and still be that fit and alert.

[chen zhen]

It cannot hurt though,to be able to cram so much junk food and still be that fit and alert.

Aww, I don't know, they were getting a little chubby around their shells in the last episodes.
:cool:

[Former castleva]

Never noticed.

[Kristoffer]

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[Sho]

Det kan du hoppa upp å snurra på.

[Kristoffer]

""Report this post to a moderator """

You mother****ing **** lickers can suck my cohones

..if this won't get this thread locked, WHAT WILL!?

[Kristoffer]

:D

[Former castleva]

Is everything allright or are you just letting off some steam,in an extraordinary manner it may be...?

[yutyeesam]

Worst Martial Arts Movie:

SURF NINJAS

Too bad, b/c Ernie Reyes Jr. has some seriously good ma skills.
His best work was in The Last Dragon.

[chen zhen]

What about American Ninja, or something like that, with that chubby actor, can never remember his name. It was a bit ridiculous, but funny in it's own peculiar way..

[Mr. Horse]

"The invincible Chan" is soooooooo bad, it is worth buying the video. SOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!

[chen zhen]

What about that "enter the dragon"- parody movie: "Fistfull of yen". that is one MF'ing funny movie:D :D

"We're building a fighting-force of extraordinary magnitude...":p

[StickyHands]

Originally posted by chen zhen
What about American Ninja, or something like that, with that chubby actor, can never remember his name. It was a bit ridiculous, but funny in it's own peculiar way..

It's Chris Farley, he died. It was supposed to be funny, he'a a great comedian, most of his movies are comedies. They weren't depicting Ninjutsu. -_-

[chen zhen]

yeah, Chris Farley, that's his name. Did'nt know he died. he did a couple of funny movies, but I have'nt seen him in that many movies.
But whatever the quality of his movies, it's sad he died:(

[HearTheLionRoar]

I can end this discussion right here:

The worst MA movie ever made is.... "Game of Death II".

End of discussion. Why? Because it single-handedly desecrates the memory and work of a great artist, AND had no plot, AND has the worst acting ever seen, AND is dubbed appallingly, AND makes no sense, AND has no continuity, AND cashes in on Bruce's name shamelessly.

Even worse than 3 seconds of "Jacky Chan" in "Young Tiger". Yikes!

[Silumkid]

Wow....a worst MA movie thread and no mention of these craptacular gems:

Gymkata
Drunken Master 3
Shaolin Dolemite
The Duel
The Storm Riders
Legendary Weapons of China
Firecracker...(I swear this movie exists although I may be off on the title, something about a female Olympic gymnast who really isn't one unlike Gymkata boy who has an attitude problem and somehow beats up a lot of guys in Secret Service getups who are drug smugglers while staying at a hotel for a gymnastics competition...)
and the list goes on....

Kickboxing Academy....how movies like this even get made I'll never understand. The only vaguely interesting thing about it is Chyler Leigh, who has grown up to be VERY hot and also played the punk rock chick on That 80's Show.

[Former castleva]

I remember this another one,but I doubt anyone knows it.
It´s some old movie simply called "Kung-Fu" I think.I bet this could refer to many a movie.
It was really "sad".
All I remember well enough are fight scenes with seriously awful special effects and this "kung-fu" guy whatever,I think,lurking on someone´s back scraping his face. :eek:
Well,I guess you MIGHT recognize it if you happen to receive that advantage.

[bodhitree]

The invincible super chan !!! without a doubt
everything with steven segal
That stupid TKD movie with James Earl Jones
All are F-ing horrible

[HearTheLionRoar]

Wow....a worst MA movie thread and no mention of these craptacular gems: The Duel

You said the word! "The Duel" Aaaargh! I hate it! I hate it! I spent money renting it. I watched it. Aaaaaaaaaargh! I'm going to hell for watching bad MA movies.

:mad:

[Silumkid]

Unfortunately, I have a new movie to add to this list. Maybe it will start some debate...maybe not. I wanted to like this movie, but I just couldn't. A shame because I really have enjoyed the work of pretty much everyone involved.

The Transporter

I mean, really....what happened to the story? Was there not really much of one or did I miss a great deal of something? And those fight scenes...sorry, Jason Statham, but you are not and will not ever be the white Jet Li or Jackie Chan. Corey Yuen really should have stylized the fights to Statham rather than trying to make him fit a prior mold. I just felt it all came off really weak.

[HearTheLionRoar]

I heard from a fellow sad movie watcher that The Transporter was poor. I've been trying to pluck up the courage to waste a few hours watching it - but now I won't. Thanks SilumKid.

On a similar matter - does anyone have an opinion of Gordon Liu's movies? I'm about to watch "The Fury of Master Killah" and wondered whether I should, or whether I should just hide behind my hands all the way through.

Thoughts anyone? Is he worth watching, or should I consign it to the "yet another ****-poor plot and poxy acting" slot?

[MasterKiller]

Never heard of "The Fury of MasterKiller" but Shaolin Masterkiller (aka Enter the 36th Chamber) is one of the best KF flicks around. He also starred in Return of the MasterKiller (Return to the 36th Chamber) and Drunken MasterKiller, but these two aren't as good as the first.


My vote for worst movie is King of the Kickboxers II: American Shaolin. Pitiful....pitiful....

[HearTheLionRoar]

There was an alternative title on the box - and lo! in the U.S. "Fury of Master Killah" was released as "Fury in Shaolin Temple".

Just to confuse everyone for no reason.

Sounds like this could be the good one. I'm excited now! I'll have to go and watch it tonight. Cheers.

[RedSkaNite]

Nothing is worse than Ghost Dog. Nothing. I mean...oh god...it is So BAD. Forest Whitaker (big black guy) plays a samurai who lives on a rooftop (with his pigeons) in the big city. He takes on the mafia. And eats icecream with little kids and a Frenchman. I am completely serious. Check it out!

I am surprised no one has mentioned Bloodsport....it is horrible and wonderful at the same time. My favorite is the little black guy that does the weird "Drunken Monkey" style. Heh, too cool.

[Surferdude]

Code of the dragon is pretty bad!!!
But at the same time funny as hell!!!:D
At the end when the ninja chick falls off the roof her fake hair goes into the air with the water, and during the credits a legless guy gets attacked by two guys and kicks there ass's!!!:D ;) :p
Its so bad but so funny!!!:) :D
I'm gonna dl all of these movies now!!!:D

[Silumkid]

Ghost Dog was pretty bad, but obviously not so bad that I even remembered it. (No) Thanks for the reminder! ;)

[Budokan]

"Fist of Fear, Touch of Death" is about as bad as they come. It's not even in the "so bad it's good category" but in the "so bad you're ashamed" category. It professes to examine Bruce Lee's life through film clips. Unfortunately, it uses old stock footage with new dubbing and pretends that we're watching true life events in Lee's life. One hilarious scene has the narrator saying, "Let's see an exciting scene from this movie" and then proceeds to show about a 3 second clip. It even has most of the history about Lee wrong, and shows "interviews" where someone is asking Lee questions off screen and, again, old film clips of Lee, badly dubbed, provide the answers.

Bad, embarrassing, inept, only begin to describe this complete hashwork. Check it out if you ever get the chance, but prepare to be offended. (Even Bruce Lee haters will cringe at the complete rewrite of history and downright bad film making techniques).

[Budokan]

Yeah, I remember "Firecracker". Pretty bad, but the heroine had pretty nice t*ts from what I remember....

[Chang Style Novice]

Silum Kid is insane. Ghost Dog is a brilliant movie. Much better than most MA movies, in fact, since it isn't really an MA movie at all.

[chen zhen]

Welcome to the boards, bonetone!
I don't see The Big Boss as one of the best BL movies, but it is definately not one of the worst KF movies of all time. One of the good things about it is that BL does'nt do those screaming chicken-noises in it, imo, always hated that.
But it is ok.

[MasterKiller]

Silum Kid is insane. Ghost Dog is a brilliant movie. Much better than most MA movies, in fact, since it isn't really an MA movie at all.
Ghost Dog was good.

[rogue]

Guess you guys haven't seen the new Charlies Angels movie, but that would be the worlds worst movie ever.

[Surferdude]

:D No my movie that i made is really bad!!! Its so bad, for stuntmen i use dummys and me and my friends just have the worst acting!!!:D ;)

[Ravenshaw]

Did anybody see the Streetfighter movie? Van Damme as Guile...

*Shudder*

[Chang Style Novice]

My favorite moment in "The Big Boss" (or "Fists of Fury" or whatever title you manage to rent it under) is when Bruce side-kicks the some random henchman through the wall of the warehouse, and the dude leaves a henchman-shaped hole in the wall, like it was a Tex Avery cartoon or something.

[chen zhen]

My favourite (odd-) moment in Fists of Fury/chinese conn., is when Bruce, a.k.a. Chen zhen(;)) enters the room of the chefs who killed Master Huo, and the camera suddenly zooms in on the chef's nipples. wtf?!:eek::D:p

anyone noticed that?

And the other: where Bruce fights the Russian Karateka, and BL does this high inside crescent-kick to the ruskies head (why does'nt he duck?!), and then follows it with a hook to his face when he's downed, with a look on his face like he just does'nt care/is drunk(:p). I always goes ROFL when I see it..:D

[Surferdude]

yea why does it zoom on his nipples???:confused: :eek: :p

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by Sasha
Kickfighter, without question.

The Richard Norton flick? Where he fights Benny Urquidez at the end?

Word of advice to moviemakers: When your hero is bigger, taller, and more built than the nemesis, it doesn't really work. Yeah, it's Benny Urquidez, but visually, it makes no sense. And it ain't like Norton's a slouch.


Stuart B.

[Chang Style Novice]

It worked okay in Jackie Chan's "Gorgeous", but the nemesis was like half his age, so there is that.

[jethro]

I would like to make this point on something that I was very disturbed, I have a list of movies that are in this thread that are being billed as the worst movies ever.
Correction time.
Game of death 2, aka-tower of death-just watch the fight scenes, and listen to the song that tarantino ripped off for KB.
Storm Riders-did you only have audio for this, if so I can certainly understand hearing that awesome music and not seeing anything, that would be a bad movie.
Big Boss-Bruce Lee's first movie, OK.
Fury in the Shaolin Temple-horrible movie, the fight scenes were average, but the wu-tang version has anywhere from like 40-80 clips from gordon liu and hundreds of others, so this might be a bad movie, but an awesome dvd.

So before you go saying that Legendary Weapons of China is one of the worst movies ever, go watch 5 element kung-fu, american shaolin, ninja untouchables, or rage of the master(sorry Mr. Jimmy wang yu)

[SimonM]

The fight scenes in the Matrix were eye candy to the western audience. But hey, I really respect Yuen Wo Ping's work and I believe his intention was to choreograph stuff that appeals the general audience.

Yeah, so what if most of the coreography was duped from other movies he did... like Black Mask for instance.

The worst MA movies I've seen are without a doubt:

Duel to the Death

and

anything co-staring Jalal Merhi and Billy Blanks... Unless Bolo was the badguy.

[GreenCloudCLF]

Golden Killah...has anyone seen that movie????:eek: :eek: :eek:

the WORST movie out of China EVER:( :mad: :eek:

[jethro]

Yeah, so what if most of the coreography was duped from other movies he did... like Black Mask for instance.

The worst MA movies I've seen are without a doubt:

Duel to the Death

and

anything co-staring Jalal Merhi and Billy Blanks... Unless Bolo was the badguy.

I really liked Duel to the Death, not as a martial arts movie, but for a good sword movie, good death scenes and acting also.

But anything with Jalal Merhi is the worst.

BLOODFIGHT is also one of the worst movies ever, how you make a bad movie from 1989 with yusuka karatu, and bolo. These guys should have made a masterpiece together.

[SimonM]

Thing about Bolo is that he really doesn't know much about acting... except acting badass. I never watch films with Bolo expecting a great dramatic performance. I just watch them expecting guys to get their shin bones kicked out of their legs.

[puma]

Enter the panther
Dragon Lee and the 5 brothers
Sister Streetfighter
Black Mask 2
Lady Wu Tang
Game of Death
Most definitely Hot Potato
The Wanderers
Bells of Death
Edge of fury



That's all that come to mind right now...I'm at work right now and will have to look in my collection for more duds

[GreenCloudCLF]

Yeah I forgot about Black Mask 2:mad: :mad: I can't believe I bought that stinkbomb,,,,:mad: :mad: :mad:

[qiphlow]

not a kungfu movie per se, but:
the disco godfather starring rudy ray moore...

...so bad it's good, and all the bad guys know karate!

i highly recommend it if you're into blaxploitaion films.

[jethro]

alright, just go on amazon and look at this guys umbrella, it looks like a black umbrella that he borrowed from his mom. Now I fastforwarded this so that I only watched about 30-35 min, but it seemed that there was a lot of walking. The fight scenes is where this movie really shines. there is a scene where iron umbrellas master kills himself with a tap on his own head. There is not many fight scenes, but they are the funniest of all-time. If you can get your hands on this movie, go ahead and just fastforward to the end(unless you can laugh at bad movies like me), there is a part where the 2 actors move as slow as they can going towards eachother, I think that they were trying to do a slowmotion shot without actually editing it. Now with my description of the umbrella, you probably realize that this is one of the lower budget movies around.

GREAT STUFF

[tug]

My vote is for The Octagon with Chuck Norris. Horrible!

BTW - American Ninja was with Michael Dudikoff, Chris Farley did Beverly Hills Ninja.

(I shouldn't admit I know that)

[jethro]

HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT THIS ONE.

There are like 3 of these movies and are all done by godfrey ho of course. They are spliced and diced to perfection, and I guarantee that one of these little evil ghost babies will be your new favorite movie character. :D

[jethro]

wu ma as the star of his own movie

[Jimbo]

Enter 3 Dragons (Philip Ko as the villain is the only good thing about this. This film is more so bad it's funny; it's not unwatchable). Directed in HK by Godfrey Ho.

Triumph of Two Kung-Fu Arts (bad, bad, bad, bad movie starring Chan Wai-Man and Kam Kong).

Shaolin Kids in Hong Kong. (Bad movie for Gordon Liu).

Top Dog (I think it's the title; bad Chuck Norris movie. I only saw it because it was filmed about a mile from my house).

Bruce Lee: His Last Days, His Last Nights ('nuff said).

Delta Force. I, II, III, etc.

Hero and the Terror (I guess I was a glutton for bad Chuck Norris movie punishment).

Van Damme's movies.

Seagal's post-1991 movies.

Poor Hwang Jang-Lee starred in several really bad Godfrey Ho films in Korea after his best years were over in Hong Kong. Some so bad they're hard to watch. Godfrey's fauls, not Hwang's.

Fire Island.

There's too many bad ones to recall.

[jethro]

Enter 3 Dragons (Philip Ko as the villain is the only good thing about this. This film is more so bad it's funny; it's not unwatchable). Directed in HK by Godfrey Ho.

Triumph of Two Kung-Fu Arts (bad, bad, bad, bad movie starring Chan Wai-Man and Kam Kong).

Shaolin Kids in Hong Kong. (Bad movie for Gordon Liu).

Top Dog (I think it's the title; bad Chuck Norris movie. I only saw it because it was filmed about a mile from my house).

Bruce Lee: His Last Days, His Last Nights ('nuff said).

Delta Force. I, II, III, etc.

Hero and the Terror (I guess I was a glutton for bad Chuck Norris movie punishment).

Van Damme's movies.

Seagal's post-1991 movies.

Poor Hwang Jang-Lee starred in several really bad Godfrey Ho films in Korea after his best years were over in Hong Kong. Some so bad they're hard to watch. Godfrey's fauls, not Hwang's.

Fire Island.

There's too many bad ones to recall.


I have shaolin kids in hong kong, haven't seen it casue there is a lot of peeing at the start, but was always going to watch the final fight some time cause I heard it had LUNG FEI(JOHHNY WANG IN IT), was I lied to about this? Maybe it's bad but I will watch these 2 go at it in any movie, and I have seen like home video type stuff from gordon.

ALSO HWANG LEE, I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE WHERE HE IS GOING UP AGAINST A BRUCE CLONE AND BY THE END OF THE FIGHT BLUCE HAS THE BIGGEST AFRO I HAVE EVER SEEN. HONESTLY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN, GODFERY HO, YOU ARE THE SHIZNIT.

[Jimbo]

Don't forget one of the very worst movies of all time: Gymkata!

[jethro]

Don't forget one of the very worst movies of all time: Gymkata!

Jimbo, I knew you were a huge conal lee fan:D he actually does deserve that name!!!!!:D

[jethro]

I know you probably don't have time to look through all of my posts, but I asked you if shaolin kids in hong kong was really as bad as you think, well I watched it last night and it would take a day to try and explain how bad this was, but it did have a wang vs. gordon fight at the end and had seconds of greatness in it, but I wish that you had warned me that MASTER KILLER KISSES A MAN in this, I COULD HAVE JUST THROWN IT AWAY BEFORE WATCHING IT AND FORGET IT EXISTS, BUT NOW I WILL NEVER FORGET, MASTER KILLER HAS SOME SPLAININ TO DO ABOUT HOW HE DOESN'T KILL A GUY WHO KISSES HIM. And like I said, I have seen gordon in some home video looking type stuff and this is way worse than those!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek::mad: :rolleyes: ;)

[mantis108]

My favourite (odd-) moment in Fists of Fury/chinese conn., is when Bruce, a.k.a. Chen zhen(;)) enters the room of the chefs who killed Master Huo, and the camera suddenly zooms in on the chef's nipples. wtf?!:eek::D:p

anyone noticed that?

It's not zooming in on the nipples. It's what the guy was wearing. He's wearing typical Japanese under garment a la Japanese gangster style which is the proof that Chen Zhen needed to revenge his master's death.

BTW Ghost Dog isn't that bad. I think the chick in there is pretty hot - enough to save the movie for me. ;) :D

Mantis108

PS Neo:I know Kung Fu.
Morphus: Show me.

Now, that's Kung Fu for real.

[Jimbo]

jethro:

I read somewhere that Conan Lee's real name was Roy Hutchinson, who grew up in New York, and that he was discovered by Ng See-Yuen ( of Seasonal Films Co.) during a stuntmens' tribute to Jackie Chan in L.A. in 1981.

I coulda told you Shaolin Kids in HK was that bad but couldn't let you miss all the fun. :D :D :D Even the Gordon Liu/Wang Lung-wei fight wasn't up to snuff (certaintly nowhere near their fight in Martial Club). Bad movies can make the best stars look like you-know-what.

[jethro]

jethro:

I read somewhere that Conan Lee's real name was Roy Hutchinson, who grew up in New York, and that he was discovered by Ng See-Yuen ( of Seasonal Films Co.) during a stuntmens' tribute to Jackie Chan in L.A. in 1981.

I coulda told you Shaolin Kids in HK was that bad but couldn't let you miss all the fun. :D :D :D Even the Gordon Liu/Wang Lung-wei fight wasn't up to snuff (certaintly nowhere near their fight in Martial Club). Bad movies can make the best stars look like you-know-what.
---
)
----
You *@%#*%----hopefully you see this at the cd tradepost I sold it at and mistake it for somerthing else. I still wish I could desrcibe how bad it was, but it would seriously take a couple days. Dude, I'm gonna have to find a movie where Hwang and Liu kiss eachother to get back at you.:D

And also, master killer didn't look all that bad, but the camera work I think shot with 2 differenet angles max. My grandma could have shot the star of instant kung man against me better than they showcased MK and Lung Fei. And Lung fei, dude, I know you are still tough, but you look like a **** bum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jethro]

so i fianlly had to go and buy the shaw legends collection released by videoasia.
I knew it would suck but have always found at least 1 good movie whenever i buy these, and how could i go wrong with master killer in like 5 of them, i have only watched 1 movie and previewed another one(one where lung fei actually looks decent in stupid movie.) So I'm sure I will be posting here again to go over how bad this release by them is btu will go over a few points now. The back of the dvd's have descriptions for the movies that are in the cases, there is a total of 6 descriptions for 10 movies:D :D all the movies say either english dub or original uncut with subs, and of course the one that i saw has BRIGITTE LIN FROM 1975 IN IT says just original uncut. It says nothing of subtitles. I swear to god I had better get to read what she has to say!!!!!! I don't know yet but i give it a 50/50 chance I will get what i want.:mad: :( :mad: The box broke when i was tryign to get the dvd's out(it was more like christmas wrapping paper. But anyway...





Jimbo if you are reading this i know you will be wanting to get this movie. The only one i have watched in this collection is WHITE LOTUS TRIo, which may actually be the real name. It really plays like a godfrey ho film but i will tell you what man this movie was so bad that godfrey might have actually been able to do something with this:D It stars LAU KAR YEUNG??? star of my fav movie legend of a fighter, and master killer. yeah. Nut it really really sucks, their fights on screen add up to about 1 minute(5+around 55 seconds) btu are actually pretty good. teh action in this movie is amost decent also. I would compare it to like wang yu, not as well choreagraphed(not talkign about Lau Kar Leung), but better acrobatics, which probably sounds like godfrey ho so sadly like i said it's not even that good. So go watch white lotus trio and don't worry about going exploring through videoasia collections, cause i take care of all that for you guys. I guarantee you will laugh your ass off.

Gordon is a cop in this movie and when he goes ofter the other star(well he sucks in this) in a raid on his boat, all the cops including gordon are wearing bulletproof vests btu gordon has like black dotted white pajamas on, absolutely wonderful!

Definitely a waste of 45 minutes or so(actully like 94, btu thank god for fast forward) btu at least mk didn't liplock with any men in this mone.

Jimbo- hey if you know of this tell me cause it looks like a VERY young gordon liu and the film quality is EXTREMELy good so tell me what year this is from cause only like 2 of these movies are on imdb and i am wondering if this has maybe never beeen seen(and with good reason):eek: :D :D :D

[Jimbo]

jethro:
I haven't heard of this one, though I have seen a film from around 1992 that had Gordon Liu fighting Liang Jia-Ren (Leung Ka-Yan, star of Legend of a Fighter). It was a gangster-type film with Liu and Liang as bad guys but then Gordon turns against him. That one was pretty bad...I don't like Gordon Liu movies that take place in modern-day.

If you buy VideoAsia, make sure you keep your sales receipt! I'd bought a few I had to return because they either would not play, or came with a built-in skip every 15 minutes that ruined the movies. Some other of their DVDs looked like someone trained a video camera on a movie screen in a theater. Only a few of them turned out all right.

I also remembered a comedy from around '92 with Gordon Liu, Wang Lung-Wei, and Liang Jia-Ren where they were all thieves...the thing I most remember is a woman is fighting Gordon and takes her shoe off and whacks him in the face, and he falls on the ground making funny, cross-eyed faces.:confused: with birdy-sounds...!

[jethro]

This is honestly the worst movie ever. If ANYBODY knows of a movie that is worse than PLEASE tell me. Ususally in these movies I tend to be able to laugh because they are at least creative even though the action sucks.

But this was REALLY painful to watch:mad: :o :( :( :( :(

HEY JIMBO-
I have a lot of videoasia stuff and have generally been pretty happy. One collection I have has a good pai tying movie, a good mainland wushu sword movie, and one disc that has shaolin temple strikes back AND shaolin blood mission. I have abother one that has fistful of talons/kung fu zombie, monkey king with 72 magic(bad but i enjoyed it), snake strikes back(horrible, but probably godrey ho's best work), and black eagle's blade(which was very good but sadly had THE worst picture quality EVER. Sometimes Videoasia REALLY backfires on itself though like when I bought the movie the "new" one armed swordsman 2-pack. David chiang and wang yu are both in this horrible movie, but 9 killers movie was so bad that it made chiang look pretty **** good. These movies were so bad I was glad they malfunctioned because I got my 12.99 back. :D

So like I said I can tell you all my videoasia stuff and just ask me if it plays cause I can tell you picture quality subs quality and all. for instance kungfu zombie-bad quality, fistful of talons-excellent. Also some of the movies are from the 90's and didn't have time to deteriorate so they are very good quality, it's just sad that in this last collection I bought, the movies are like all good quality, but are just some of the most horrible ever. I'm really dissapointed in that this is the first 10 or 20 pack that doesn't have at least one good movie in it:mad:

[tug]

For those of you who hated Ghost Dog - the movie was not about martial arts, it was about being one with nature and your surroundings and learning about life and suffering. (hence the bad pidgeon reference)

Also, the RZA was in it, so that makes up for the shortcomings IMO. ;)

[Su Lin]

So we have had the best fighting film and kung fu movie threads,now how about the worst one you have ever seen?

I am still deliberating but I recently started watching Bichunmoo (it doesn't have to be kf to qualify here) and thought it was pretty dire (so shoot me! I know it was the most expensive Korean fil ever made etc etc)

I am still trying to think of the worst kf film I ever saw:)

[firepalm]

anything that includes David Carradine or Chuck Norris in the cast! :eek:

[BlueTravesty]

The absolute worst I've seen is a movie called "Fire Warrior" which came in a set that was supposed to include 10 Gordon Liu Films. I think there were 4 films in that set with Gordon Liu, and only one of those featured him in a prominent role. The name of said movie escapes me.

Fire Warrior centers around the struggle between the "White Ninjas" and "Black Ninjas" and claims to feature "Authentic Hung Gar Kung Fu." It was funny enough to be entertaining for the first 30 minutes, but then failed to be anything but a boring trainwreck of a movie. Just because something is low budget doesn't make it respectable.

[5Animals1Path]

Seven Swords. I don't care who made it, who was in it, or how well it did.


That movie blew, and for entirely too long.

[Zenshiite]

How about Kunoichi: Lady Ninja. Sex magic and any excuse to put a lady ninja in a situation that ends up with her naked and molested by her captors.

[Jimbo]

Where do I start?
Off the top of my head:
Triumph of the Two Kung Fu Arts. Horrible. Stars Chan Wai-Man, and half the movie is him moping around feeling suicidal, the other part is an old woman playing his mother crying. And whatever fighting there is sucks.

Enter Three Dragons. I actually like this one a lot. I call it a true guilty pleasure of kung fu cinema. It's so bad and ridiculous it's good. Of course, three Bruce Lee impersonators: Bruce Li, Bruce Lea, and Dragon Lee. (the "Bruce Li" is not the one most are familiar with). Also has Cheung Nick, Samuel Walls, Bolo Yeung, Chiang Tao, and Phillip Ko, the one who lends some credibility to the fight scenes. The film and the English dubbing are great for a laugh.

[jethro]

Blue Travesty is right. There is a 10 pack of movies form Video Asia called Shaw Legends and it has 10 of the worst movies ever. While they were all HORRIBLE, I actually found one of the Gordon Liu movies had a couple of good action sequences. I couldn't name what the movie is about though. The only real wachable movie in that pack was a Chi Kuan-Chun movie but of course it had to have absolutely unwatchable picture quality.

It is truly amazing how many of hundreds of bad kung fu movies there are. Anythign with Godfrey Ho and Ninjas is going to be bad.

One movie that is seriously so bad it is good is Swordsman With An Umbrella. In the final fight they don't slow down the camera footage but rather have the actors going by eachother real slow with swords and try to look like they are in slow mo.

One movie that was bad but has good kung fu is Fists, Kicks, and Evils. Bruce Liang gives the absolute best and worst acting performance of all time. HIGHLY recommended.

[Li Kao]

Jethro -- I saw that "Shaw Legends" pack at the store a while back. It had a David Chiang photo on it if I remember -- at any rate, after looking at the movies it included I was disgusted as all of them are, to be kind, subpar. I love how they try to bundle up a bunch of bad movies and sell it cheap by trying to milk the Shaw Bros name. You would never consider buying any of the movies individually, but getting 10 movies for $20 seems like a bargain. From what I remember, most or all of the movies were not even actually Shaw Brothers movies, they just featured *stars* of Shaw Brothers movies. A good example of devious marketing -- and unfortunately you do get what you pay for.

[Li Kao]

Hmm, off the top of my head, I will offer up this gem, which was even ridiculous to me as a kid when I saw it...

GYMKATA!

Who can forget Kurt Thomas fending off an angry, pitchfork-wielding mob by swinging around on a pommel horse? The training scene where he walks up the stairs in a headstand? The fact there always seemed to be props like parallel bars and such "conveniently" scattered throughout the locales? I won't go into detail as I could go on and on, but this is one of those movies that is so bad it's fun to watch -- you sit there on the couch, throwing popcorn at the TV and shouting "Get outta here!" Remember the movie poster, with an illustration of Kurt, in full gymnast regalia, leaping though the air and kicking 2 ninjas, one who is weilding a kama and the other a submachine gun? And of course, the corny tagline: the skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate. (/groan)

Let's see somebody top that one! :D

[bustr]

anything that includes David Carradine or Chuck Norris in the cast! :eek:

I'd also add anything with Ernie Reyes Jr.

[mickey]

Greetings,

Li Kao, that one is definitely tops. Please allow me to add:

1- All Sho Kosugi movies.

2- All Chuck Norris movies.

3- All Van Damme movies except Time Cop.

4- A made for TV movie, Men Of the Dragon

5- Golden Needles

6- Fist of the Golden Monkey



mickey

[hinokata]

Shaolin Soccer. It's so bad it's almost funny.

[NJM]

The first part of Game of Death that Bruce Lee wasn't in.

[lonewolf]

Greetings,

Li Kao, that one is definitely tops. Please allow me to add:

1- All Sho Kosugi movies.

2- All Chuck Norris movies.

3- All Van Damme movies except Time Cop.

4- A made for TV movie, Men Of the Dragon

5- Golden Needles

6- Fist of the Golden Monkey



mickey

time cop sucked also. the worst i have ever seen was two jacky chan films the first was SPIRITUAL KUNG FU (ew) and SUPER TEAM STRIKE FORCE (not sure if that is the real name. it also has jimmy wang yu and the plot is so horrible i threw up twice while trying to watch it on the pure principle that i paid money for it.
as for van damme let's not forget Monaco forever:eek:

[jethro]

The Legionaire was very good. Van Damme was the worst of the actors in that but still did pretty good for himself. I think I liked it cause he didn't do a whole bunch of stupid kicks and stuff, it was just a good, well acted movie. I hated Timecop but I will always remember it for being able to see Ferris Bueller's girlfriend naked. :D I hate 9 out of every 10 Van Damme movies but Wake of Death was decent for a somewhat recent film. The fights blew booty in that one though.


AND DON"T FORGET NG SEE YUEN'S NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER!!!!!! Probably his only really good action sequences.

What was that one movie that had both Sho Kosugi and Van Damme in it? That was maybe the worst martial arts movie ever.

[Jimbo]

Jethro:
No Retreat No Surrender was Corey Yuen's first time as director of an American film and was Van Damme's best physical performance, though the whole movie was stupid and laughable (L.A. karate vs. Seattle karate??). I think it was still better than Van Damme's other movies, though.

BTW, Kurt McKinney and Van Damme were supposed to be in No Retreat No Surrender II: Rolling Thunder, with Hwang Jang-Lee and Matthias Hughes, but backed out of it. So Ng See-Yuen and Corey Yuen got Cynthia Rothrock instead, not as interesting as it could have been. These two movies were made by Seasonal Films, which did the original Drunken Master, Snake in the Eagles' Shadow, Secret Rivals, etc. Their American films were all pretty bad, with awful dialogue and stories, but with decent fight scenes: King of the Kickboxers with Billy Blanks; American Shaolin; Blood Brothers with Keith Vitali.

[jethro]

Have you seen Bloodmoon? Recommended if you like awesoem fight scenes and a movie that is so bad you actually do laugh about it.

The bloodmoon thing actually doesn't have anythign to do with teh movie. I think Tony Leung Siu Hung just said screw it.

Here is a quote from the movie-"Did you notice the blood on the moon tonight" the masked villian asks with his leg extended into teh air showing off his martial arts prowess.

I still have to see Superfights but I found a lot of Ng's movies at the vid store when I was growing up.

[Jimbo]

Jethro:
I haven't seen Bloodmoon but it sounds interesting!
I have not seen Superfights. Ng See-Yuen was pretty interesting himself. He (supposedly) was the one who "discovered" Bruce Lee when he returned to Hong Kong as an adult to make M.A. movies. He definitely discovered, or made successes of, Bruce Li (Ho Tsung-Tao), Bruce Liang, Hwang Jang-Lee, John Liu, Wang Tao, Jackie Chan, Conan Lee, Cynthia Rothrock, Jean-Claude Van Damme, etc.

For an example of some of the STUPID dialogue in some of Seasonal's American films, here is a line from Blood Brothers (I'm paraphrasing): You made a mistake thinking you could beat me; I'm an AMERICAN!!" Said by Keith Vitali after he dispatches a bank robber.:p

And in American Shaolin, about an American kid who goes to Shaolin Temple to become a martial monk, there is a musical scene where he and the other monks start singing "Shaolin Temple Blues" to the tune of "Summertime Blues".:D

[jethro]

The guy is a hero for me for discovering Hwang Jang Lee.

Also Jackie of course wasn't discovered by him but was made a star by him.

Also I am not positive but I think Rothrick was discovered by Sammo.

Sorry to nitpick, I am feeling down today. I think I will pop in my Shaolin Temple Blues cd:p

[The Xia]

But here are a few turkeys off the top of my head.

3 Ninjas (there was even a pair of Jay and Silent Bob esque henchmen in this one)
Surf Ninjas (Ernie Reyes jr. + Rob Schneider = :eek: )
Sidekicks (Chuck Norris + Jonathan Brandis = :eek: )

Then again, what do you expect when you combine martial arts and kids' movies?

[shaolinsky]

Shaolin Soccer. It's so bad it's almost funny.

That movie along with Kung Fu Hustle were he best kung fu parodies made imo!

If you want to see true baaaaad kung fu - see this at your local blockbuster or hollywoodvideo: Vampire Assassin

You will cry.

[TenTigers]

crippled kung-fu the one where they used real handicapped people for actors-worse than "Freaks"-there was this one guy who was probab,ly Thalidamide, and they had really poor fake arms on him that were lopped off in a scene-the rest of the movie, he used his flipper hands-which were supposed to be whatever was left at his stumps-just awful/
-also, anything with Cynthia Rothrock in it. She was kinda cute, nice bod, but couldn't act fer sheit, and although she was a good MA, it just goes to show how much it depends on the choreographer-she has never looked good in any movies.
ok, well better than Ralph Machio, but a definate close second.

[jethro]

That movie along with Kung Fu Hustle were he best kung fu parodies made imo!

If you want to see true baaaaad kung fu - see this at your local blockbuster or hollywoodvideo: Vampire Assassin

You will cry.

I thought Kung Fu Hustle was ok, wouldn't watch it again but I was rolling the entire time in Shaolin Soccer. My favorite character is the iron head guy. "Yellow card for smoking." I saw a trailer on an Image Entertainment DVD for a movie called Shaolin Family SOccer with him in it. Forgoth what the real name of it is. Doesn't look great but I will have to get it. The song in the trailer rocks!



And if you want to see possibly the worst non Godfrey Ho movie ever than check out Ultra Cop 3000. Or 2000, I can't remember. I rented it because Phillip Ko and Yukari Oshima were on the box. They were in it. Yep.

[lonewolf]

breathing fire ( bolo yueng)
any movie with bruce lee in the title, especially since he's not in any of them.
ninja turf

[Jimbo]

Jethro:
I believe it was Ng See-Yuen who originally discovered Rothrock when Seasonal Films were having movie tryouts here in the States in '83/'84. Her first movie was (like Van Damme) also her best performance...Yes, Madam, co-starring with Michelle Yeoh. Directed by Corey Yuen, too.

Ten Tigers:
Cynthia Rothrock actually did move pretty well in one movie, the aforementioned Yes, Madam. However, she was definitely upstaged by Michelle Yeoh (then called Michelle Khan), who, though not a martial artist at that time, was still more convincing and acted with more killer instinct in her fight scenes.

Rothrock's movies in America do blow. Take China O'Brien for instance. With the exception of Enter the Dragon, anything directed by Robert Clouse (such as China O'Brien and Gymkata) sucks pretty bad.

Another mention for a worst MA movie is Chuck Norris's Top Dog. I actually went to see it because they filmed a lot of the movie about a mile from where I live, and I watched them film some of it. The movie itself is beyond bad, the kind you feel embarrassed to be caught watching.

[jethro]

Don't forget about Millionaire's Express. her fight and Dic Wei vs. Yuen Baio is the highlight of the movie.

After those 2 movies she only made bad American stuff. One of the worst is this one I saw a few years ago with Kurt Mckinney and she has a nude scene. I never watched that movie again. Let's just say she wasn't exactly convincing in her role.

[Jimbo]

Also, don't forget Righting Wrongs where she plays a cop opposite Yuen Biao. I suppose she moved pretty well there, too. It had two alternate endings, and the one I saw, Melvin Wong drove a spike through her neck and left her stuck dead against a wall. Earlier in the film, she had a decent fight against Karen Shepherd.
I'd have to say, next to Rothrock, Norris's acting probably is academy award-winning stuff. At least Norris can be funny, albeit unintentionally.

Millionaire's Express was OK. I thought Sammo could've let guys like Wang Lung-Wei do more. The one fight that most people seemed to remember (I saw it in Taiwan) was where Richard Norton kicked Yasuaki Kurata's head and the funny music came on.

Another really bad movie is Fire Island, starring Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, Sammo Hung, and Jimmy Wang Yu. It's a prison movie. I heard Chan and Hung only did it because they "owed a favor" to Jimmy Wang Yu.

[lonewolf]

is this movie called the prisoner here? if it is the one im thinking of it had a lot of scenes from cool hand luke in it and jacky wasn't the main character.

[jethro]

I still haev to see Righting Wrongs. I have heard it is a GREAT movie. I have heard Dragon Dynasty will be releasing it:)

On Miilionaire's express I agree with you. Rothrick's fight with Sammo and Yuen Baio vs. Dik Wei is worth the viewing of the movie but it would have been nice to see others in an actual fight such as Hsiou Hou, Lam Ching Ying, Chin Kar Lok, ...

Wang LUng Wei's fight was not an actual fight but still kind of fit into the movie. the biggest dissapointment in the movie is the lack of a final fight with Hwang Jang Lee.

[Li Kao]

lonewolf -- yes, Island of Fire was renamed The Prisoner when rereleased in the U.S. True, there are some decent fight scenes, but the story was a mess and it's definitely not a favorite of mine. If I remember right, they featured Jackie on the cover as if he were the main character, when actually Tony Leung was pretty much the lead.

Jethro -- you need to see Righting Wrongs! Has your typical corruption type plot but it was laid out pretty well. And Yuen Biao was fantastic -- the fights were very hyperkinetic in the same fashion as his classic stuff like Dragons Forever. Some pretty impressive and fluid acrobatic type action that he is known for. And Rothrock was pretty impressive in this one too.

Jimbo -- well I agree with you on Rothrock's American movies being rather bad. Not sure if it was just the director/choreagrapher to blame, but she definitely never came close to equaling her Hong Kong performances. I actually met her a few years ago in California and she was suprisingly upbeat and humble. And as far as Robert Clouse -- I would agree with your assessment with one glaring exception -- The Big Brawl, which remains one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies (perhaps due to Mako's hilarious performance).

[jethro]

is this movie called the prisoner here? if it is the one im thinking of it had a lot of scenes from cool hand luke in it and jacky wasn't the main character.

Actually I think it is called
Jackie Chan is
THE PRISONER!

I have to say I didn't hate teh movie but it was still remarkably bad. Sammo had 1 or 2 enjoyable scenes but Jackie and Andy Lau were the only good things about it.

I remember I had a guide to Hong Kong action movies book called Asian Cult Cinema. Worst freaking book ever! Never lead me in the right direction. Because of that idiot I picked up this movie and Dr. Lamb expecting something great. He gave those movies a 4/4. He gave iron Monkey(1993) a 2/4. Luckily I was able to figure things out for myself.

[jethro]

lonewolf -- yes, Island of Fire was renamed The Prisoner when rereleased in the U.S. True, there are some decent fight scenes, but the story was a mess and it's definitely not a favorite of mine. If I remember right, they featured Jackie on the cover as if he were the main character, when actually Tony Leung was pretty much the lead.

Jethro -- you need to see Righting Wrongs! Has your typical corruption type plot but it was laid out pretty well. And Yuen Biao was fantastic -- the fights were very hyperkinetic in the same fashion as his classic stuff like Dragons Forever. Some pretty impressive and fluid acrobatic type action that he is known for. And Rothrock was pretty impressive in this one too.

Jimbo -- well I agree with you on Rothrock's American movies being rather bad. Not sure if it was just the director/choreagrapher to blame, but she definitely never came close to equaling her Hong Kong performances. I actually met her a few years ago in California and she was suprisingly upbeat and humble. And as far as Robert Clouse -- I would agree with your assessment with one glaring exception -- The Big Brawl, which remains one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies (perhaps due to Mako's hilarious performance).


Mako was great but that is by far one of the worst movies ever IMO. I never thought I would say something like "the fighting sucked but Jackie rollerskating was awesome":confused:

I typed that comment in the quotes yet don't even understand it myself.

[Li Kao]

I just noticed you brought up Top Dog, Jimbo. Yeah that one was horrible, but so are all the cop/dog buddy movies like K-9, Turner and Hooch, etc.

My personal nomination for bad Norris film: The Hitman. It was hard to buy Chuck as a black trencoat wearing undercover gangster, sporting a mullet, and tearing his way through the various ethnic mobsters in Vancouver of all places. I did like the side story with the kid, but there was some really bad scenes. Like when he is dismissing the mob boss's girlfrienand at his apartment, and tells her "well stop bringing your ass over here" with a totally wooden expression. Or when he visits the Iranian gang, sticks his finger in a plate of hummus, tastes it, spits it out, and says "You guys really eat this ****?" Don't get me wrong, I love Chuck but that movie is a real stinker.

[jethro]

I just noticed you brought up Top Dog, Jimbo. Yeah that one was horrible, but so are all the cop/dog buddy movies like K-9, Turner and Hooch, etc.

My personal nomination for bad Norris film: The Hitman. It was hard to buy Chuck as a black trencoat wearing undercover gangster, sporting a mullet, and tearing his way through the various ethnic mobsters in Vancouver of all places. I did like the side story with the kid, but there was some really bad scenes. Like when he is dismissing the mob boss's girlfrienand at his apartment, and tells her "well stop bringing your ass over here" with a totally wooden expression. Or when he visits the Iranian gang, sticks his finger in a plate of hummus, tastes it, spits it out, and says "You guys really eat this ****?" Don't get me wrong, I love Chuck but that movie is a real stinker.


I thought I would just go ahead and quote this in case you post ahead of me again:p

That movie sounds really bad Li Kao. I have to see it! One question. Is the action any good?

Another EXTREMELY bad movie I can't name is the one where Chuck is the bad guy and smokes cigarettes the whole time. he fights Don Wong Tao but it is highly not recommended.




ha ha, posted this before you. Your web fu is average though:p

[Li Kao]

"the fighting sucked but Jackie rollerskating was awesome"

LMAO that is actually a very good summary of the movie. To be honest, I agree the actual fight scenes were lame and very slowed down compared to the usual Jackie. What I liked about it was the humor -- I liked the scene where he fights the guys in the alley and on the old car, the training scene with Mako where he is doing the footwork, dodging tennis balls, and then the cane fight against Mako. A lot of the fight scenes reminded me of the 3 Stooges, like when he snaps the guy's suspenders, gets punched in the gut while taking a drink and spews soda all over, when he ducks the guy's headbutt and he smacks his head on a pole. Cheap laughs, yes, and pretty comical/juvenile. Basically, Mako and the roller derby saved the movie for me.

[Li Kao]

Jethro -- no, I can say the action in The Hitman was rather lousy. Much of the action was gun-fights. He did unleash some kicks at times but even the final fight is more of a barroom brawl kind of fight. Still, it's one of those movies that is so bad it's fun to watch. To see Chuck go from a scene where he helps a young black kid stand up to a racist bully to the aforementioned scene where he spits out the hummus and says to the Iranians "You guys really eat this ****?" is just ... well ... rather odd and conflicting. He is playing an undercover cop infiltrating the mob, but still. Another classic scene -- one of the Italian gangsters captures one of the Iranians who killed his brother earlier in the movie and tortures him by alternately beating him and smearing pork on his face and forcefeeding it to him. Don't buy the movie but if you like watching a train-wreck of a flick, rent it on a night when you're bored.

[Jimbo]

Li Kao:
I saw part of The Hitman but was not able to finish watching it...for whatever reason. I do remember the part with the kid, though. Yup, Chuck is hard to take seriously as a trench-coat wearing "bad dude." :)

I saw one (might've been mentioned already) called Sidekicks with Joe Piscopo. That was so bad, I actually melted into my theater seat in shame during the scene in the bar where the kid orders a glass of milk; the bartender starts laughing at the kid, then Chuck said, "Make that two glasses of milk.":D

Actually, IMO, the only Chuck Norris movie that was pretty well-made was Code of Silence, and that was more because of the director, Andrew Davis, who used to direct some very good, gritty crime movies.

Jethro:
The Norris-Wang Tao movie is called Yellow-Faced Tiger, retitled as Slaughter in San Francisco. It was Wang Tao's first movie and Chuck's 4th. Norris's first movie appearance was in The Wrecking Crew, starring Dean Martin and Sharon Tate (who was later killed by the Manson Family), and Joe Lewis and Mike Stone also appeared. Bruce Lee did the choreography. Norris's 2nd was Return of the Dragon, his 3rd was supposedly some unnamed porno movie where he was a karate instructor.

Righting Wrongs was one of the best Yuen Biao-starring vehicles. The villain is Melvin Wong (of Descendant of Wing Chun). Like I mentioned, it had two different endings supposedly; the one I saw had Rothrock's character dying.

Oddly enough, The Big Brawl was my introduction to Jackie Chan. When it was released in 1980, I saw it and was actually impressed, because I had never heard of Jackie Chan before that. I hadn't yet seen his Chinese films, and that kind of slapstick kung fu was totally unfamiliar to me then. I'd only seen more serious Shaw movies and some of the very old post-Bruce Lee kung fu movies with nonstop bad fighting in them. It was released together with a re-release of Enter the Dragon.

I might mention that Conan Lee (actual name, Roy Hutchinson) had made only bad films after Ninja in the Dragon's Den. Besides Gymkata, he was in one American film about time travel where the "big moment" in the film is he dives through a very slow-turning gigantic fan blade. Later he went back to HK and did Aces Go Places 4 in a small role. Even in Ninja, it was Hiroyuki Sanada who stole the show, and it seemed the Chinese audience I saw it with were there mainly to see Sanada, who was already familiar to them through his Japanese films, and not Conan Lee.

[Jimbo]

Oh, another bad Norris movie: The Hero and the Terror. About a giant serial killer hiding out in an old movie theater.

[jethro]

Li Kao- I will haveto rent Hitman on a rainy day

Jimbo-I actually loved Sidekicks though I saw it when I was abotu 10 years old. d don't forget about Conan Lee vs. Gordon Liu in Tiger On Beat. One of my favs, only for the final fight.

[Jimbo]

Tiger on Beat is one of those films I have never had a chance to see, for some reason. I'll have to check it out. I hear it's directed by Lau Kar-Leung (Liu Chia-Liang).

How about Shaolin Kids in Hong Kong for another bad movie?

[jethro]

I don't want to talk about that movie. Don't ever bring it up again.




Alright, just got done throwign up after the mention of 2 Shaolin Kids in Hong Kong.






Get the Hong Kong Legends version of Tiger. Bey Logan has a couple of good comments on Conan Lee you would find very interesting. I could post them if you want, I thnk he only says a few sentences about the matter. I am sure you know what happens in the finale and why it is so great but if yu don't then DON'T GO LOOKING FOR ANY INFO!! You have to see it like I did without knowing anythign going in. Conan Lee was also in Tiger on Beat 2 but I have never seen it. I have tried to get a lot of other people into kung fu movies but I am like 2/70. It is just not that popular. I only show these people the classics like Fist of Legend, Legend of a Fighter, 7 Grandmasters, and Rebellious Reign and most people freaking hate it. I even try showing them certain fights that are insanely good and they rarely can catch on.


What I am getting at is that the only movie that EVERY SINGLE person has loved is the finale in Tiger on Beat with Conan, Gordon, Chow Yun Fat, and some white guys. Not one of my favorites but very unique and it is a movie that will make sure you always have a rebuttal for someone sayign stupid sh!t abotu Lau KAr Leung. I always put those asses in their place.








Also, the version I haev is from Zoke movies and it is ripped directly from the HKL version. Don't know if it is a boot but it is super cheap. Also, HKL has had problems with their releases btu the picture and sound on this movie is superb! ALSO, there is a Gordon Liu interview on there which I wish someone could translate for me. It is like 25 minutes long.

[lonewolf]

has anybody seen this movie released by the wutang clan? weirdest stuff i've ever seen aliens and a plot that doesn't make any sense. truely one of the worst of the worst.

[Jimbo]

Jethro:
Thanks for the info.

Regarding people hating KF movies, I do believe it could also be a regional thing as well. There are some areas I've gone to where KF movies have a near-cult following. Back when I used to see them in theaters, at the old downtown grindhouses, and then at the 2 Asian theaters that operated here for a few years until the mid-'80s, mostly the only people who I saw watching them were: sailors on leave; young people (teens to 30s) from the inner city; Vietnamese and Chinese immigrants (only in the Asian theaters); gang members; older drunks/potheads sleeping in the aisles. You also had your share of nutcases. Those places were always old, stinky, gunky, and WAY off the beaten track. They were also almost always crowded and very rowdy. Fights sometimes broke out in the aisles. It was definitely not the type of cinema that "mainstream America" would be caught watching. They're still a sort of "guilty pleasure" type of genre.

To be honest, these days I doubt very many Asian-Americans care about KF movies at all. Back in the mid-to-late '90s, some KF movies (specifically, Jackie Chan and Jet Li) and Chow Yun-Fat movies became kind of an "in thing" in art-house theaters. By that time, the audiences I sat with were mostly 20-to40-ish typical middle-class types who frequent alternative cinema. It was no longer the gritty inner-city environment.

I assume different areas of the country vary as well. Therefore, I rarely try to recommend or show non-martial arts friends any MA films. Most will hate it, but some have loved it. I do think most fans of the old Shaw Brothers and other really old-school stuff tend to be middle-aged; just like most fans of '70s popular music tend to be in that age group. Like myself.;) For the majority of people, KF movies are just not something they can relate to, and they think the movies are stupid. (just like I think most of these romantic comedies coming out are stupid).:D

Anyways, luckily I know several people who share the same tastes in movies.

[GeneChing]

Shaolin Grandma
A Japanese spin on Stephen Chow that has absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever. I kept thinking it was going to take a novel turn that would propel it into that eye-gluing land of Japanese cinema ala Miike, and there were so many ample opportunities (the grandma becomes a exotic dancer after she loses a fight and gets kicked out of Shaolin) but it never does. A complete waste of time. Even a sword fight couldn't save this.

[SimonM]

Threadromancy! +10 internets.

[GeneChing]

No retreat, no surrender I & II Props to Laughing Cow for calling this one. You know you got something truly bad when you're roasted by MST3K.



‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ takes its audience down memory lane — with an eye on the future (https://www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide/mystery-science-theater-3000-takes-its-audience-down-memory-lane--with-an-eye-on-the-future/2019/10/11/c505fb9c-e922-11e9-9c6d-436a0df4f31d_story.html?outputType=amp)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/resizer/Zd_Npz1WtAaGF09iqKOdBwmLq-Y=/767x0/smart/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/P4PX6LXLRQI6THDNINVA35HTDU.jpg
This weekend, Joel Hodgson will sport “Mystery Science Theater 3000’s” red jumpsuit for the first time since 1993 and bring the Great Cheesy Movie Circus Tour to the National Theatre. (Shout Factory)

By Tim Greiving
October 14, 2019 at 9:00 AM EDT

Joel Hodgson is donning the red jumpsuit for the last time. He started playing Joel Robinson in 1988, “just another face” — per the old “Mystery Science Theater 3000” theme song — who did a good job cleaning up the place, but his bosses didn’t like him, so they shot him into space.

In space — a.k.a. cable television — Hodgson survived a barrage of cheesy movies by “riffing” on them mercilessly with two robot friends. A new art form was born.

This weekend, Hodgson, 59, will sport the red jumpsuit for the first time since 1993 and bring the Great Cheesy Movie Circus Tour to the National Theatre, a live version of the MST3K format familiar to fans: making fun of bad movies — in this case, the British schlockfest “Circus of Horrors” (1960) and the 1986 kung fu flick “No Retreat, No Surrender” — interspersed with sketches.

“You’re watching it with 1,500 other people,” Hodgson said, by phone, from the road. “That’s the only thing that’s different, and that’s what changes the dynamic of it so much. You do a lot of moving pieces around while you’re performing, because they might laugh over a setup for your joke, and you have to lay out and try to worm it back in downstream if you really like it.”

MST3K has proved surprisingly pliable. It migrated from KTMA-TV in Minneapolis to the then-new network Comedy Central (then called the Comedy Channel) in 1989. Hodgson, who created the show, left in 1993 after a conflict over creative control. With new host Mike Nelson, it survived the transition from Comedy Central to the Sci-Fi Channel in 1997. After a cancellation two years later, it rose from the ashes on Netflix in 2017 — thanks to a Kickstarter campaign spearheaded by Hodgson, who regained control of the brand.

But when he brought MST3K back to life, Hodgson left one major ingredient behind: himself as host. He was set to bring back several original alumni for the revival, but a month before the big announcement, they all bailed.

“Which I totally understand,” said Hodgson. “But it put us in this funny position where, when the Kickstarter started, [people were] going: ‘Where’s all the other cast? What have you done?’ I think they thought: Oh, this is going to be like a ‘Laverne and Shirley’ reunion show, where everyone sits on director’s chairs and has memories, and then we show clips.”

The campaign had already raised a million dollars. Hodgson said the organizer, Ivan Askwith, told him: “People are really concerned about this, and we have to answer them. And here’s the other thing you didn’t know, Joel, is that if they don’t like your answer, they can cancel their Kickstarter. So if you say the wrong thing, you’ll lose everything.”

Hodgson said the right thing.

“I said, ‘We can do a lot of things with ‘Mystery Science Theater,’ but we can’t make you 13 again. We can’t make you feel like you did when you first found the show, when your dad got the good cable package. But we can bring it back with new people, and I think this concept is worth being refreshed outside of Mike or Joel, and the cast that went with them.’ ”

The concerns died down, and Hodgson raised more than $5.7 million — breaking Kickstarter’s record for video projects.

Jonah Ray, a comedian who grew up with the show, filled the host jumpsuit — with Baron Vaughn and Hampton Yount playing his robot pals, Tom Servo and Crow — for two seasons on Netflix. After a slightly stilted beginning, the new crew hit its stride with Season 2, “The Gauntlet.” Hodgson is an executive producer, director and writer on the new series.

Between seasons, the team sharpened its skills on the road with two tours. The live shows allow the MST3K company to keep performing and growing, regardless of whether (or how often) Netflix orders more episodes. For the current tour, its longest to date , Hodgson decided to perform as host — for the final time.

“I didn’t want to leave anything on the field,” said Hodgson, who is training the cast and crew to be potential future hosts and torchbearers for the show. “This is my last time to really touch it, and really kind of travel with it, and really feel it all these times. I feel like I’m going to know so much that, by the end of it, we’ll really be in good shape to keep doing it.”

‘Transparent’s’ musical finale is a weird — but occasionally wonderful — way to go

Hodgson was never that comfortable in the jumpsuit from Day One . As a dry stand-up comic, who incorporated his love of magic and ventriloquism into his act, he had been on Letterman and “Saturday Night Live.” So when he sold the idea for MST3K to small-time Minnesota TV, he was “the most logical guy” to front the show.

“The thing that gives me the most satisfaction is that I created it, not that I performed in it,” he said.

For longtime fans, Hodgson’s droll delivery and paternal relationship to the “bots” is a huge part of their affection for MST3K. When fans quote lines from “Eegah” or “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” often they’re quoting him.

“You are playing with people’s memories, and it’s people’s feelings,” he said. “And I really get that. But I always kind of go: Well, thank God we made 200 feature-length episodes that are easily accessible. Because there’s a lot of material if you really, you know, want that.”

With his company Alternaversal, based in Doylestown, Pa., Hodgson is developing other ideas for TV and theater alongside more MST3K-related projects. He believes the joy of shredding cheesy movies is bigger than his red jumpsuit.

“That was my real point to coming back,” he said, “to just go: Hey, it’s just not locked into the Joel/Mike reality. It’s a lot bigger than that.”

If you go

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Live: The Great Cheesy Movie Circus Tour
Friday at 7 p.m. and Saturday at 3 and 8 p.m. at National Theatre, 1321 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. thenationaldc.com. $59-$99.