Mr Punch
05-17-2003, 01:18 AM
May have posted this before... but think it's funny!
People that annoy me (Peter Kay):
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Too ****ing right I do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the **** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser,I paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the ****ing floor.
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...... Didn't really give
me a choice there, did you sunshine?
When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
When people say "life is short". What the ****?? Life is the longest
**** thing anyone ever ****ing does!! What can you do that's longer?
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here, ****head?
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? Ears?, Wellington boots?
When your eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting, I always eat stuff I hate!
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! that's an
image I really didn't need.
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a
'Mcchicken Burger', just a 'Chicken Burger' gets a look...........Well
I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*ckin McTos*er!
Anyone else anything similarly as charming to offer?!
People that annoy me (Peter Kay):
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Too ****ing right I do! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the **** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser,I paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the ****ing floor.
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...... Didn't really give
me a choice there, did you sunshine?
When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
When people say "life is short". What the ****?? Life is the longest
**** thing anyone ever ****ing does!! What can you do that's longer?
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here, ****head?
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? Ears?, Wellington boots?
When your eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting, I always eat stuff I hate!
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! that's an
image I really didn't need.
McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a
'Mcchicken Burger', just a 'Chicken Burger' gets a look...........Well
I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*ckin McTos*er!
Anyone else anything similarly as charming to offer?!