OT - So, while you were having breakfast

[African Tiger]

(I can get used to this Off Topic stuff!)

So while you were having breakfast and presumably watching TV, did you happen to catch a glimpse of yours truly in a Kellogg's Special K commercial?

Or perhaps you were having dinner instead? Or pehaps you were just watching TV period?

Ok...if you're watching TV and you want a good laugh, don't channel surf during the commercials. You'll see me being chased on my bike by a woman!

Can you believe they pay me for this??????

[Oso]

is it on ABC? I watch GMA every morning so I will look.

I did a local network commercial once...

for a product called 'Wounded Warrior' and aloe based ointment with herbs and stuff.....

I 'choreographed' a scene where a 70 year old woman 'threw' me...

It so totally looked like I jumped...which I did.

the ointment really did work pretty well...which is a good thing since my pay was a free bottle of the stuff.

I was a local celebrity for a while...which was pretty easy since I was working as a bouncer at a pretty popular bar...I would card people and they would go "Hey! you're the guy from that commercial???"

[African Tiger]

Funny! I'm getting "Hey, weren't you in Daredevil?"

I hate to break it to them that I wasn't actually a lead actor in the film...so I don't :)

[Oso]

ya, so like, if you hear of a role for an ugly white guy who doesn't mind falling down and kinda likes getting hit...drop me a pm.:D

[Shaolin-Do]

Which commercial is it?
One of my friends is living out in hollywood right now... Hes been doing lots of commercials and small parts in tv series, had a major role in "not another teen movie" (was the obsessed best friend)

[Taomonkey]

My friends and I were in a commercial they filmed in Tulsa, for WGN in Chicago, we had to dress up like ninjas, and I got to nail a guy with a spinning round house. Never saw the finished product, just made my $50 and went home.

[Chang Style Novice]

SPECIAL K!??!!?

And here I thought you were a man!

[Oso]

c'mon CSN, everyone's a man till it's time to pay the bills.:)

[FatherDog]

Hey, congrats, AT. Work is work, whether it's commercials, documentaries, or standing outside the local car dealership in a clown suit :D

[PHILBERT]

Yeah at least its an honest living too and not selling drugs or pimping or robbery.

[Oso]

television sells drugs, pimps other products as well and steals a lot of our time.

:D


one nation
under God
has turned into
one nation under the influence
of one drug

[chorus:]
Television, the drug of the Nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation
(2x)

T.V., it
satellite links
our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely addictive
The methadone metronome pumping out
150 channels 24 hours a day
you can flip through all of them
and still there's nothing worth watching
T.V. is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
Nation reads books daily
Why most people think Central Amerika
means Kansas
Socialism means unamerican
and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
absorbed in it's world it's so hard to find us
It shapes our mind the most
maybe the mother of our Nation
should remind us
that we're sitting too close to...

[Chorus:]

T.V. is
the stomping ground for political candidates
Where bears in the woods
are chased by Grecian Formula'd
bald eagles
T.V. is mechanized politic's
remote control over the masses
co-sponsored by environmentally safe gases
watch for the PBS special
It's the perpetuation of the two party system
where image takes precedence over wisdom
Where sound bite politics are served to
the fastfood culture
Where straight teeth in your mouth
are more important than the words
that come out of it
Race baiting is the way to get selected
Willie Horton or
Will he not get elected on...

[Chorus:]

T.V., is it the reflector or the director?
Does it imitate us
or do we imitate it
because a child watches 1500 murders before he's
twelve years old and we wonder why we've created
a Jason generation that learns to laugh
rather than to abhor the horror
T.V. is the place where
armchair generals and quarterbacks can
experience first hand
the excitement of warfare
as the theme song is sung in the background
Sugar sweet sitcoms
that leave us with a bad actor taste while
pop stars metamorphosize into soda pop stars
You saw the video
You heard the soundtrack
Well now go buy the soft drink
Well, the onla cola that I support
would be a union C.O.L.A.(Cost Of Living Allowance)
On television

[Chorus:]

Back again, "New and improved"
We return to our irregularly programmed schedule
hidden cleverly between heavy breasted
beer and car commercials
CNNESPNABCTNT but mostly B.S.
Where oxymoronic language like
"virtually spotless", "fresh frozen"
"light yet filling" and "military intelligence"
have become standard
T.V. is the place where phrases are redefined
like "recession" to "necessary downturn"
"Crude oil" on a beach to "mousse"
"Civilian death" to "collateral damages"
and being killed by your own Army
is now called "friendly fire"
T.V. is the place where the pursuit
of happiness has become the pursuit of
trivia
Where toothpaste and cars have become
sex objects
Where imagination is sucked out of children
by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse
that would create a cripple




just kidding...I love my television......

[African Tiger]

I like TV. It's really good when I'm high, like when I try to figure out WTF is so funny about "Friends"?

By the way, I'm completely toasted right now. Anyone care to join me? :D

So, a few questions were asked of me:

Shaolin-Do - it's the most recent Kellogg's Special K. A woman is lamenting her body, and she sees me riding by on a mountain bike. She gets off the bus stop bench and chases me down the street. Congrats to your friend! The biggest thing I've ever done is stuff you guys will never see :(

No you a.s.s monkeys, it's not gay porn!

Oso - next to impossible, bro! You're like 3,000 miles away, and only the Jim Carrey/J-Lo level actors get their travel expenses paid. But I promise to send you the home version of anything I do.

CSN - no. :rolleyes: Read description above...

Father Dog - funny you mention that...I did some costume character/mascot work for the Hershey's Kissmobile. People are a.s.s.holes when you're in that suit! I was playing security for my female partner while she was in the costume, and I nearly went after a few people for kicking her!

Please everyone tell your friends - and I probably wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't "baked" - it is NOT funny to abuse a costumed character. The temperature often gets up to 140 degrees in that suit, and we generally don't get enough water or break time.

Most costumes weigh between 20 and 40 pounds (I wear one that weighs nearly 50 pounds) and place unnatural stress on the lower back and shoulders. We have a very limited viewing area, and must wear large costume shoes that restrict movement.

In addition to the costume's weight, we must be mindful not to break protocol of a character. This usually means not being able to speak. Thus, we cannot defend ourselves verbally, if some a.s.s. jockey decides to push us around! Not to mention, we have to be as gentle and as non-threatening as possible with children.

Believe me, if you had to wear one of these things for a living (hey, I can' t always score a national commercial), you'd be a lot nicer to us! Or at least, pop the **** out of some obnoxious teenage freak, who starts beating one of us up!

[Oso]

Oso - next to impossible, bro! You're like 3,000 miles away, and only the Jim Carrey/J-Lo level actors get their travel expenses paid. But I promise to send you the home version of anything I do.


well, I'm not as funny as Jim Carrey but my butt looks better than J-Lo's:D

[Chang Style Novice]

c'mon CSN, everyone's a man till it's time to pay the billsI hate to say it, but this makes it sound like AT is doing much worse than making commercials for a breakfast cereal aimed at women. Ever see the movie "Midnight Cowboy"?;)


I like TV. It's really good when I'm high, like when I try to figure out WTF is so funny about "Friends"?I think I'm a pretty smart guy, but I haven't been able to figure that one out myself.


By the way, I'm completely toasted right now. Anyone care to join me?Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) I have a job interview this pm, and they may decide they want me to weewee for them, so no.


well, I'm not as funny as Jim Carrey.You've made me laugh more than Jim Carrey ever has, Oso.

[Oso]

mmnngh, sarcasm detector....n...not working....


wanna see my butt???









:D

[Chang Style Novice]

Probably not. Is there a cool tattoo or something?

[Oso]

no, just braids with those little beads.

[Chang Style Novice]

Do you call your ass Serena or Venus? Or Stevie?

[Oso]

man, how did you know?

I've got the braids started on both sides and will eventually add tattoos of thier faces so that the sisters are looking at each other.
Then add tattoos of their bodies complete with skirts and tennis rackets down the backs of my legs.

I plan on doing the talk show circuit.

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by African Tiger
Father Dog - funny you mention that...I did some costume character/mascot work for the Hershey's Kissmobile. People are a.s.s.holes when you're in that suit! I was playing security for my female partner while she was in the costume, and I nearly went after a few people for kicking her!

Please everyone tell your friends - and I probably wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't "baked" - it is NOT funny to abuse a costumed character.

The idea of the Hershey's Kiss delivering a 60 mph round kick to the jaw, on the other hand, is hysterical. :D

[Shaolin-Do]

bahaha
Its always funny to abuse costumed characters :)
Yeah, those things must suck dude. I live in texas, and would never think of doing that for a job. too f*ckin hot.
___________________________

no, just braids with those little beads.


__________________
lofl.
On your azz? thats kinda sick. hehehehehe
"totally baked care to join?"
Im always baked on here.
:)
or elsewhere for that matter...

[MasterKiller]

I love that Hershey's commercial with Barky the Dog.

Theme Park Visitor: "Hey Barkey, what time does the next show start."

Barky, standing next to the sign that shows what time the next show starts: "The next show? Does anyone know what time the next show starts? Gee, someone should make a sign that tells what time the next show starts."



:D

[African Tiger]

The idea of the Hershey's Kiss delivering a 60 mph round kick to the jaw, on the other hand, is hysterical

ROTFL! Why didn't I think of that???????

Man, oh man, did I miss an opportunity at Cinco de Mayo! It would have ended up on the news:

Giant Hershey's Kiss runs amuck at a Cinco de Mayo celebration! The Kiss, which showed an amazing aptitude with Taoist Tiger Style, was quoted as saying,

"They didn't read the disclaimer! THEY DIDN'T READ THE DISCLAIMER! THEY DIDN'T READ THE DISCLAIMER!!!!

...Eyewitnesses were reported to have caught something called a "contact high," but authorities have their doubts.
:D