Confuscian Wisdom

[bodhitree]

Hellow all, hope to enlighten you with the wisdom of confuscious

Confuscious say: Baseball is wrong, man with 4 balls cannot walk

Confuscious say: Man who stands on toilet is high on pot

Confuscious say: Burglars and peeping toms are synonomous, A burgler; snatch watch a peeping tom; watch snatch


[5/29/03] ruguo ni neng kan zhege ni shi zhongguoren [/wo]

[Former castleva]

I remember this one time that I searched for Confucius´s wisdom,typed it wrong and found some funny stuff.

Had to try again,read for yourself lol;
http://pages.prodigy.net/eric_chapman/confusious/say.htm
http://pub129.ezboard.com/fnbkelitefrm9.showMessage?topicID=95.topic
http://www.orlandofernando.com/h_confusious.html

(some can be a bit rough)

[Repulsive Monkey]

Nothing more, nothing less.

[Former castleva]

Hey,give us something better then.

[chen zhen]

källikannen ik pullokainan ot fallükennen


:D

[Former castleva]

That is not helping zhen,not-at-aaal.

[shaolin kungfu]

Can you translate Chen?

[chen zhen]

hell, I can't translate it.:D



<http://www.clipartconnection.com/img/6/WB/zed_non_com/clipconxn/animations/cartoons/0279.gif> Confusious say..... Confusious say...

Virginity like bubble, one *****, all gone.
******
Man who run in front of car get tired.
******
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
******
Man with hand in pocket feel ****y all day.
******
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
******
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
******
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
******
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
******
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
******
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
******
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
******
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
******
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
******
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
******
It take many nails to build crib, one screw to fill it.
******
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
******
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
******
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
******
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
******
Man who **** in church sit in own pew.
******
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.


that's what i could do..

:p

[Repulsive Monkey]

The sage does nothing, yet nothing is left undone.

One who speaks of the way does not know the way, those who know the way do not speak of the way.

Invest in loss.

How wonderful is Tai Chi Chu'an, whose movements floow nature.

Don't hang your meat on me.

My partner moves-I move, my partner stays still-I stay still.

[Former castleva]

A couple of your "fortune cookie" flavoured classic quotes (or variations of) I have either used or seen a time or two.
Yet a few seem to be original.
"Don´t hang your meat on me".That could be a joke,almost.

[chen zhen]

Mine was copied from your links.

:o

[Former castleva]

I know.
I´m not that stupid!

[chen zhen]

I know that you know. I'm not stupid;)

edit: that sounded almost confucian!

[Former castleva]

Pure confusian;
If I were stupid,I´d be confusiued.

[chen zhen]

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Is somebody not editing what I'm saying here???

I love giving opinions, I've got hundreds.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

I had to hit him : he was starting to make sense.

Wanted : Person willing to seal gas leaks with candle. Must be willing to travel.

Mind intentionally left blank...

Did you know, 50% of doctors graduated in the BOTTOM HALF of their class.

If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counselling.

There are some people we *want* to offend.

Why do you laugh? Change the name, and the story is told of you.

What if there were no such thing as a hypothetical situation?

Women make silly generalisations.

I'd explain it to you, but your head would blow up.

We have only 2 things to worry about: That things will never get back to normal, and that they already have.

Remember the world is a big place. Even if you're one in a million, that means 1000 people in China look exactly like you.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

You ever look up the word dictionary in a dictionary? A little hand comes out and smacks you one.

-Anon
(whoever that is)

[chen zhen]

also Anon:

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it?

What does 'it' mean in the sentence "What time is it?" ?

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, then it becomes a scavenger hunt.

Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

You may be recognized soon. Hide.

You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.

You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.

You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.

You will be surprised by a loud noise.

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.

You know my motto: Forgive and uh... the other thing.

A friend is someone you call to help you move. A best friend is someone you call to help you move... a body.

I have an inferiority complex, but it isn't a very good one.

[Former castleva]

Beats me.

[bodhitree]

AA
Acronyms Anonymous
NASA non stop an@l $ex action
Hiv
highly infected v@gina or Hoes infect vag
NAACP
Nastradaumus always ate corn puffs
COP
cooperatively oppressing people
Cop
Carrier of Pork
FBI
friendly body inspection
DEA
doughnut eating association
Mtv
masterbation turned violent
http:/
****sexual turning transsexual properly:/