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Suntzu
06-25-2003, 07:15 AM
based on a convo I had this weekend… I thot I would share the finer points…

about those heavyset, well-rounded MA instructors… Whoever in the sky willing… I shall become one of them in the years ahead… after countless hours of balls to the wall training… after all the dieting… after the numerous nervous and exhausted hurling session... after the prehistoric size butterflies in the stomach visitations... after all the beers and ice creams and pizzas, etc.... that i had to pass up b'cuz i have a competition comming soon... i think in my older age that soon comming... i deserve to eat whatever... drink whatever... sit on my fast expanding azz however long... scratch my itching belly... and bark orders to my dieting, sweating, nervous, hurling... etc... student while i scarf down a cheesesteak... drinking a milkshake... with a mini-fridge full of beer in my office...

to the fat… balding… jolly MA instructors……… I salute you…
Judge Pen
06-25-2003, 07:20 AM
Show of hands here: How many will admit to being a fat, balding, and jolly martial arts instructor? Anyone?
MasterKiller
06-25-2003, 07:22 AM
I got the shaved head, but I'm 6'0, 180 lbs, and a fine hunk of man meat.
Suntzu
06-25-2003, 07:26 AM
Ask me again in 20 years… sorry but ice cream and pizza my be my downfall…
:D
ewallace
06-25-2003, 07:27 AM
and a fine hunk of man meat.
You may be okay talking that way in Okaledokelyhoma, but I'd be careful in other parts of the world. :)
MasterKiller
06-25-2003, 07:32 AM
Don't make me he-bltch slap you, man-wh@re.
ewallace
06-25-2003, 07:44 AM
Okay Fez.

:)
Radhnoti
06-25-2003, 08:21 AM
I don't usually instruct, I'm quite happy. I'm...sort of...well...yeah, baldING would be a fair assessment, but I'm practically shaving my head so it's a bit camoflaged.
Fat? I'm 6' and around 230 lbs...so I may be. In my own defense, I'm big framed and big boned...I'm one of the naturally (meaning I don't work on it outside of class with weights, etc.) strongest people I know, and I can run non-stop 3 miles.
....

....

:(

:o

Aw nuts, I'm gonna go run.
KC Elbows
06-25-2003, 09:12 AM
I didn't know Sun Tzu was fat. When did that happen?
Royal Dragon
06-25-2003, 09:14 AM
Show of hands here: How many will admit to being a fat, balding, and jolly martial arts instructor? Anyone?

Reply]
Me. I gained a good 60 LBS from my back going out. I'm down 20 now, but I just can't seem to loose anymore. I probably need to get in shape more I supose. Right now I can only do about half my old workouts. Once I can do the whole thing, I'm sure it will drop off. It's just frusterating waiting to get to that point. That, and now that I'm 35, it takes twice as long to recover from half as much.

I'm not balding, but I'm pretty jolly :D
RedSkaNite
06-25-2003, 09:31 AM
I am a fat type. Not balding though. Got good mexican genes, we don't lose hair that often. I am working on the fat part, hell it is why I started MA in the first place.

So I am a fat, hungry, full-haired MA student. =).
Jowbacca
06-25-2003, 09:35 AM
No, suntzu's not fat, just delirious from trying to cut weight.

I got the fat and probly the balding part, but not the jolly. Of course if I ate whatever I wanted all the time, I'd probably be a lot more so of all 3.

Suntzu
Quick tip. If you chew on peanuts (preferably honey roasted), while you down a chocolate flavored MRP (gotta be real cold tho), you'll swear you're eating Chocolate-peanut butter chunk ice cream. I just tried it. :D
Merryprankster
06-25-2003, 09:47 AM
Sun Tzu's not fat. He's delicious!
Jowbacca
06-25-2003, 09:50 AM
MP has caught a case of the gay... I heard antibiotics can help to clear that up btw.
Merryprankster
06-25-2003, 09:55 AM
The gay is a virus. You can't be rid of it with anti-biotics. It's like the "herps." Welcome to your new best friend.

I heard the only way to be truly rid of the gay is to DP/PP.
ewallace
06-25-2003, 10:02 AM
losing is a disease. . . as contagious as the gay
SifuAbel
06-25-2003, 10:16 AM
Thank ya, Thank ya very much.

Somebody pass the peanut butter, banana, bacon, fatback on butter roll....................

I thought I coined the fat elvis instructor..... Oh well.


Don't forget the skinny inflexible legs that have all the bovine grace of a cow with arthritis. Makeing said fat elvis look like a candied apple.

:D
Suntzu
06-25-2003, 10:35 AM
:D
PHILBERT
06-25-2003, 10:44 AM
Originally posted by MasterKiller
I got the shaved head, but I'm 6'0, 180 lbs, and a fine hunk of man meat.

Knock 5 lbs off and give me a full head of dark hair, toss an inch on me and thats me.
norther practitioner
06-25-2003, 10:51 AM
sorry but ice cream and pizza my be my downfall…

Just pizza here... I'm convinced that if I gave up pizza I'd lose another 6-8 lbs...

I hope to make the entire Elvis transition however..... young, thin, in good shape, to the fat elvis instructor...
MasterKiller
06-25-2003, 11:19 AM
Well, if me, NP, and Philbert are the only ones here without a gut, our Taiji Legacy Reunion Pre-Deathmatch meal (paid for by GIGI) should be pretty uneventful. Nobody's gonna lose any fingers over stolen french fries...(at least, not until Shaolin-Do shows up stoned with the munchies).
Judge Pen
06-25-2003, 11:28 AM
Originally posted by MasterKiller
I got the shaved head, but I'm 6'0, 180 lbs, and a fine hunk of man meat.

6'1", 183 lbs. Full head of dark brown and gray hair. Goatee. Not the fat elvis yet.
PHILBERT
06-25-2003, 11:31 AM
Ya know, its funny as hell...I can't grow facial hair. The first time I shaved I was around 7 or 8 years old. I had a few hairs appear and I shaved them. I then shaved like once every 6 months until I was around 15.

Its there, I shave like twice a day and hair still appears, its just that if I go 4 weeks without shaving, I still don't have any facial hair. However, my neck is where the hair grows at. I can't grow the mustache/goatee thing like my brothers can.

I hate being Polish. :p
norther practitioner
06-25-2003, 11:43 AM
I never said I was without gut... just when I start teaching, I'd like to be a skinny guy...

I'm about 5'8" large frame, somewhere in the 170s now..... decent gut going on (I'm losing it).... still there however. I carry a lot of weight in my legs though (used to be a ski racer).
Black Jack
06-25-2003, 01:36 PM
DP....you mean double penetration?

I am 5'6. 178-180 lbs. Stocky Irish build with hair still on my dome and no gray on my pubes.
Judge Pen
06-25-2003, 01:39 PM
Originally posted by PHILBERT
Ya know, its funny as hell...I can't grow facial hair. The first time I shaved I was around 7 or 8 years old. I had a few hairs appear and I shaved them. I then shaved like once every 6 months until I was around 15.

Its there, I shave like twice a day and hair still appears, its just that if I go 4 weeks without shaving, I still don't have any facial hair. However, my neck is where the hair grows at. I can't grow the mustache/goatee thing like my brothers can.

I hate being Polish. :p

Philbert has goatee envy. :p
PHILBERT
06-26-2003, 01:00 AM
Yeah actually I do have goatee envy. I know for a fact I'd look 10 times sexier if I grew one. I just can't.
Budokan
06-26-2003, 07:21 AM
LOL! You gotta wonder about someone who describes himself this way. The really funny thing is he said it with pride. Now *that's* comedy. Then again, I guess it's better than having Richard Simmons mince up to you and lisp, "Thay, you're a fine hunk of man meat!"

It vaguely reminds me of the scene in "Children of the Lensmen" when Kimball Kinnisson looks down at his muscular frame with stunned awe and ego-mastubatory admiration. You really gotta wonder...
:p
Budokan
06-26-2003, 07:23 AM
...And who was the guy about a year ago who posted saying he had a "real sweet a$$"? I forget the name, but it was funny too!
MasterKiller
06-26-2003, 07:29 AM
There's nothing wrong with being a fine hunk of man meat, as long as you're willing to admit it. Denying it won't make me any less fine, or keep your mom from looking at me in the grocery store...

Anyway, that's what I keep telling myself.;)
Judge Pen
06-26-2003, 07:35 AM
Originally posted by MasterKiller
There's nothing wrong with being a fine hunk of man meat, as long as you're willing to admit it. Denying it won't make me any less fine, or keep your mom from looking at me in the grocery store...

Anyway, that's what I keep telling myself.;)

Or their fathers. :D
MasterKiller
06-26-2003, 07:46 AM
Or their fathers.
I can't control what their fathers look at anymore than I can control how their moms get all hot and bothered when they see me in the produce aisle.

It's a curse, but I'm getting through it. I just have to live one day at a time and have faith that your moms will eventually be able to see past my fine exterior and get to know the real, arrogant, self-centered, and solipsistic me.
Budokan
06-26-2003, 02:33 PM
LOL @ MK. I stand corrected!:D
rubthebuddha
06-26-2003, 02:53 PM
just as long as it's not your polyp/cystic side, you'll be okay.
norther practitioner
06-26-2003, 03:06 PM
Or as long as you don't show them that hump... how do you hide that thing so well anyway?
MasterKiller
06-27-2003, 06:42 AM
Or as long as you don't show them that hump... how do you hide that thing so well anyway?
I built up the muscles on the other side so it would all even out under my shirt.:D