Dating at the Kwoon.

[Laughing Cow]

Hi All.

How do you feel about dating at the kwoon, provided it is legal naturally.

Do you accept student/student, teacher/student relationships or are the a big no-no?

My View.

IMO and at all the kwoons where I trained when you step into the training area you are either a student or a teacher.

All personal stuff gets left behind, at my last kwoon they thought that me and my Wife were friends for over one year before they found out we were married.

Inside the kwoon it shouldn't matter if you drive a tricycle or a porsche or what your financial, emotional, romantic involvements are outside the kwoon.

Heck, I don't even know what some of my fellow students do for a living or if they are married, got kids.

If you date a someone at your kwoon keep it confined to outside the kwoon.

Naturally the views above are mine.

[Vash]

I've had a . . . baaaaaaddddddd experience with that.
Met my ex at the dojo. Real knockout. Great personality (I thought. Then, you get to know someone . . . *brir.... cold . .. *****y* Family's cool, though).

Then, you work on grappling one night, and you get partnered up with HER. That's comfortable.

[Vash]

Oh yeah . . . 'twas a student/student relationship.

Instructor/student stuff . . . unless the student is over 30 (an' so is the instructor). ;)

Pimp on it!

[CaptinPickAxe]

I think there is nothing sexier than a woman who loves her Kung Fu. But I could see how dating at the kwoon could present problems. Especially if there is a nasty fight before a sparring class. I'd prefer to date a student/teacher of another school, so we could share secrets and keep conflict at home.

[joedoe]

Like any relationship, if you set the groundrules early there should be no problem. I agree with LC - once you step into the training hall, the relationship is of fellow students, or of student/instructor. Leave the baggage at the door.

[samtripp]

I'll have to agree with the idea of dating from another school. It's way safer, and that way if it doesn't work out no one has to 'quit'. I've heard some bad kwoon dating horror stories. Better safe than sorry.

[Chang Style Novice]

I vote nay. I've had nothing but trouble with relationships where we spend a lot of time together on a vocation of some sort (office stuff is what I mean here) and I think the same would apply for a time-consuming hobby. It's just too much of each other.

[Starchaser107]

This can bring Nothing but trouble , stay as far away from it as you can.

:cool:

(i love you honey)*looking over shoulder

[Lohan Fury]

I say don't do it. I've had bad experiences with it as well. Granted you should be mature enough to keep it out of your training. It's just that these types of relationships don't seem to work very well.

I think a lot of times us guys see a pretty girl training and become attracted to them without actually getting to know them. How someone acts inside a kwoon can be very different than how they act anywhere else.

[Starchaser107]

what lohan fury is trying to say is

"see me", and "come live with me" , are two different things

[Laughing Cow]

Lohan Fury.

That is my point, inside the kwoon the looks and sex of your fellow students shouldn't matter.

Seeya.

[Serpent]

Sure, they shouldn't, but come on! No bloke in any gwoon can deny being turned on by a hot chick sweating and punching and kicking along with the guys.

[Serpent]

Double post!

[sn0w8lade]

How about goin out with ur sifus' daughter?????:rolleyes:

[Serpent]

How about your sifu's wife?

[zen_celt]

I see all of your points in regards to keeping the kwoon/workout time completely professional but what about times when you meet, or have contact with a kwoon member off the mat? As a hypothetical, if I meet someone at my kwoon whom I joke and talk with off of the mat (say, while cleaning or before/after class), or we hit it off at a kwoon members only party (we have those), I don't see the harm in it. Sure, during class time the focus should be on the material and not on the person, but outside the kwoon it should be alright for members to date etc so long as it does not affect the kwoon atmosphere. Just my opinion.
-ZC

[Serpent]

Yeah, it should be fine. Your relationship is irrelevant inside the gwoon and you simply treat each other like classmates.

That's how it should be. Trouble is, people can be d!cks and it often ends up different and often quite messy.

Just try not to let anything that happens affect the gwoon and other classmates.

[Laughing Cow]

Serpent.

Nice, sexy looking ladies and stunning blokes like me are dime a dozen, if you can' t keep your hormones from hopping for a short time ...

zen_celt.

What I am saying relationships are fine but don't bring them into the kwoon.
Inside the kwoon it is training, training and more training.

My Sifu at times will at times ask a student to go home early or take a break for a few lessons when he sees that his mind is not fully on the training due to outside worries, etc.

Inside the kwoon your attention should be on your training, not inside your jock-strap, bank worries or anywhere else.
;)

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Laughing Cow
Serpent.

Nice, sexy looking ladies and stunning blokes like me are dime a dozen, if you can' t keep your hormones from hopping for a short time ...
;)

:rolleyes:

My point was simply that any guy into martial arts is going to find a girl that is into martial arts ****ed attractive.

[Laughing Cow]

Originally posted by Serpent

My point was simply that any guy into martial arts is going to find a girl that is into martial arts ****ed attractive.

Hmmm, I don't know. ;)

[Serpent]

EDIT: An attractive girl that is into martial arts.

Let's take an example. What turns you on more:

Hot chick, great body, good fun and sense of humour, intelligent and great conversationalist but doesn't really understand why you're so enamoured by all this kung fu stuff.

OR

Hot chick, great body, good fun and sense of humour, intelligent and great conversationalist that loves her kung fu and likes to train with you as often as possible.

[joedoe]

Pick number 2! Pick number 2! :D

[Laughing Cow]

Choice 1 or choice 2. Hmmm.

Choice 3.

Choice 2 is too perfect, so is choice 1.

[Serpent]

If he doesn't he's even wierder than I thought!

:)

[Laughing Cow]

Originally posted by Serpent
If he doesn't he's even wierder than I thought!

:)

Not weird at all.

Question is will choice 2 stick with the MA after marriage, kids and so on.

Great bodies disappear with age, OTOH, cooking skills improve over time.

Seeya.

[Serpent]

God grief, he is bloody weird.

Who cares what happens afterwards? If you fall in love with girl number two, she'll always understand your passion for kung fu. If age takes her body, she'll always be intelligent and good fun.

Well, maybe not in your case, as you'll suck all the fun out of her with that attitude.

Still, as long as she can cook you a good dinner you'll be right, eh?

[Laughing Cow]

Serpent.

Talking from experience.

And either way it doesn't matter to me as I am already settled for life.
;)

And, yes, we did some MA together and she will never say anything against my MA study or other hobbies.

[Serpent]

I'm talking from experience too. Mrs Serpent trains right alongside me. She doesn't have quite the same passion or anything like the experience that I do, but she loves her kung fu. ;)

[Shaolin Dude]

my sihing is dating my sifu's daughter. one time I heard my sifu's daughter talking to another member her boyfriend(my sihing) wants to have sex with her. I just wish she said somewhere else.
in my gwoon, there's also 2 other pairs going out

[Laughing Cow]

Shaolin Dude.

Both at my current kwoon and the last one we had very little young people.

Kids = NONE
Teens = NONE (Sifu's son I don't think counts)
early 20's = a few(most don't last long)

Most people are in their 30's and upwards.
:D

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Shaolin Dude
my sihing is dating my sifu's daughter. one time I heard my sifu's daughter talking to another member her boyfriend(my sihing) wants to have sex with her. I just wish she said somewhere else.
in my gwoon, there's also 2 other pairs going out

So they're going out with each other and he wants to have sex with her. Am I missing something? What's wrong with that?

[Shaolin-Do]

:cool:

[neit]

my dreamgirl would definatly be into martial arts, and i would want to train with her outside the kwoon. but, i would definatly not want to train in the same class. training at the same school but in a different class would be ok though. that is when sexually segregated classes would be an advantage.

i don't mean to sound like one of those macho guy's who is embarassed for his girlfriend to beat him up or whatever. it would be great to go out with a beautiful girl who could tutor me(for free). anyway, i would just feel uneasy about having my girlfriend in the same group class, and i would feel worse if we broke up.

[quiet man]

Originally posted by Serpent
How about your sifu's wife?

Isn't that incest? ;)

[Starchaser107]

What about Inter school relationships?

any of that going on. ever date someone from another m.a. school?
how does that go down?
is there conflict?

[Judge Pen]

I've dated a girl at my school. It didn't seem to be a prblem until she was getting ready to test for her 1st black. I was drilling her at home (hehe :cool: but not that way) and she was getting frusterated because I kept making her go back and do some forms over and over until she had them perfectly. She kept trying to influence and distract me and got really pizzed when I kept the work out professional. She passed her test, though, so it all worked out in the end.

[Shaolin-Do]

Yeah... a training chick would be awesome. Nothin like a post workout workout.
:eek:

[Starchaser107]

Shizzle

[MasterKiller]

Don't shiznit where you eat.

That's my $.02.

[Starchaser107]

mk.

which is where you shiznit and which is where u eat?

your kf or your woman?

although I agree that such things may be more trouble than it's worth. i hear ppl say stuff like don't shiznit where u lie your bed or eat or whatever and it seems that analogy devalues either your kf or your woman.

just something to think about.

[MasterKiller]

Noooooo......


Basically, it means if your school is what brings the food to your table, don't do something to compromise it.

If you work to make money to buy food, and then you lose your job because you screwed some chick at work who got you fired, then you basically shiznitted where you eat.

If your kung fu training is important to you, don't compromise your integrity or respect at the school by screwing chicks there, ESPECIALLY if you are a teacher or assistant.

All it takes is some beyotch talking smack about you to ruin the teacher/student relationship you work hard to develop. Plus, it can cause distractions with your training.

Better to dip your stick at other garages.

[Starchaser107]

Thats Exactly what I'm talking about.

MK : "If your kung fu training is important to you, don't compromise your integrity or respect at the school by screwing chicks there, ESPECIALLY if you are a teacher or assistant."
_________________________________________________

What if it isn't about "screwing". what if its more to it than h0rny people going through the motions.

Thats why I said , something might get the shiznit end of the stick using that analogy.

I understand what u mean though otherwise, relationships like that could complicate a "professional" atmosphere... if u let it.

[Shaolin-Do]

If its gettin handed to you, may as well take it... :D (unless its sub-par) :eek:

[MasterKiller]

I understand what u mean though otherwise, relationships like that could complicate a "professional" atmosphere... if u let it. Why take the chance?


If its gettin handed to you, may as well take it... Famous last words.

[BentMonk]

Dating someone from your kwoon is like asking for too much of a good thing. My fiance' wasn't into MA at all before she met me. Now she loves going to tournaments or watching a decent kung fu movie, but she isn't interested in training. I'm cool w/that because I think you need to have seperate interests to keep familiarity from turning to contempt. Even I don't want to be around ME 24/7. lol

[Shaolin-Do]

Bah. Mks just mad cause hes married and cant take what gets thrown his way. :eek:
:D

I, however, am young. Not married. Do not teach. Have no reason to turn down nice @ss. If its no good tho... Be nice and give it to one of your homeboys.
:eek:

[Starchaser107]

Married or not , he still makes a good point.

on the other hand i suppose if you have nothing to lose(so to speak) and everything to gain why not.

but in the long run, what happens. trust me , it could get complicated, especially if theres a break up involved. Don't u think that might be a bit wierd?

maybe , maybe not, everybody thinks differently.

[Shaolin-Do]

"theres a break up involved"

Break up? Who said anything about dating? Im just talkin about gettin the @ss. Dont gotta always date for it. :eek:
:D

Edit: Its good to establish that you just plan on beating their guts, not being their man. :D

[Shaolin-Do]

Cos she tells her friends "that dude can f*ck"
Then their friends come your way.
:eek:

Maybe we just got a bunch of ho's around here.... :D

And besides, I got no authority in class. (unless its to lower belts, but I dont try and belittle anyone)

[Starchaser107]

2 years and they still talk about stuff

try 5 years. till s#it has become almost legendary. Things Can become a soap opera real fast.

and my sifu used to get those late night calls as well.
dude knows what he's talking about.

[norther practitioner]

I can understand the concern.. but I think you all might have over analyzed some of this..... If you dig someone, they dig you, sometimes things just happen. Our rule is that you either need to be involved already, or you need to not date someone in the school unless, "You plan on asking them to marry you at some point," said sarcasticly. However, my position is to not "look" in the school, but if this comes to me, well, there is definitely a chance I'll take the oportunity. If you set rules early, a lot of things can be avoided, but the relationship crap needs to be kept out of the school..... So, while I'd never suggest it, I wouldn't pass up a good oportunity either.

[Starchaser107]

;) heh heh heh.
oke.

[Fu-Pow]

The biggest problem we've had in our kwoon is that a woman joins and she starts dating one of the men in our school.

They break up at some point and one of them quits...usually the woman. The result is that we have zero women in our school right now.

For this reason I think that dating with in the school should be avoided. If anything for the health and prosperity of your kwoon.

However, kung fu is a social activity and ultimately when men and women come in contact there will be attraction.

Attempts to "forbid" it are just going to intensify attraction.

[Shaolin-Do]

Mmmm... Forbidden Attraction....


"If you set rules early, a lot of things can be avoided, "

Yup... But after a while of laying the pipe properly, broads tend to get attached, and in to play comes the relationship and kwoon card.

[norther practitioner]

Well, what I'm saying would be from the whole entrance of that relationship card... but I know what you mean. I dated a girl from my school. She was in the kickboxing classes.... I used to show up early all the time to watch that one :D (now I help train the girls ;) ) anyhow... it was ok 'cause we were in different classes, but I could definitely see the conflict of interest in some regards, but to tell the truth, even if she was in my class, I wouldn't have passed up that oportunity for anything... as she is one of my best friends now... :)