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Can-O-Bud
06-05-2001, 02:46 PM
Say you had to endure verbal abuse at work, or where ever.

Is this grounds for getting angry enough to fight someone?

Has it happened to you?

"My twa boab"

Highlander
06-05-2001, 05:51 PM
Verbal abuse can be more damaging than physical. And it may require an action, but probably not a physical response. File a complaint, or change jobs, but work related fights usually get you fired.

joedoe
06-06-2001, 06:31 AM
Verbal abuse never warrants physical action (unless there is a physical aspect to the verbal abuse such as someone waving a gun at you or something :) ). Otherwise, just resolve it verbally or walk away.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

Can-O-Bud
06-06-2001, 09:56 AM
I didnt necessarily mean to give the example of verbal abuse at work. I meant anywhere, like in the street.

What if someone insults your family? Your wife?

What I am saying is it's very hard to walk away sometimes.

Haven't you guys been so furious that you could easily strike out?

"My twa boab"

joedoe
06-06-2001, 11:17 AM
Yeah, I know what you mean, but think about it. They are only words, and do they really mean anything if someone hurls insults at you? Especially if they don't know you, then how can their insults hurt you because you know they are wrong anyway.

Words are only words, and while they have power, they only have the power you allow them to have. If you are able to ignore them then they lose their power.

That is part of what MA training is about. Learn to control your own emotions so that simple things like words do not get you into situations that you should really avoid.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

Can-O-Bud
06-06-2001, 02:08 PM
Would you agree then the MA training is half physiology and half psychology?

The only point I am making is that I think everyone has a temper. And some control it better than others.

"My twa boab"

WCFighter
06-06-2001, 02:43 PM
Can-O-Bud,


What does "My twa boab" mean?

"Kick his ass, Sea-Bass!" - Dumb and Dumber

Can-O-Bud
06-06-2001, 05:46 PM
It's a Scottish term.

Literally translated it means "My two Shillings".

ie my opinion!

:D

"My twa boab"

SLC
06-06-2001, 06:31 PM
It is an interesting question. I am not sure I know the answer. How we react to words is weird.

Say someone comes up to me, and in front of my wife, calls her a "fat, ugly wh0re".

My reaction on an intellectual plane is almost to see this as humerous. First, she isn't fat. Second, she isn't ugly. Third, she is a lawyer, not a wh0re. But then I think, "Wait, lawyer... wh0re? Well, two out of three are wrong, anyway." But, OK, you see my point, maybe? I don't know this guy from a tree, and I hold no value in his opinions, whatsoever. Besides - he's totally wrong (well, mostly wrong). Intellectually, this doesn't stir me up.

But, on the emotional plan it is different. I don't know why, but this cretin wishes to fight. Grrr! He is so minimally intelligent that he can't even articulate it clearly, but he wants TO FIGHT. GRRRrr!!!! Now he brings his stupid wishes and pushes them INTO MY FACE!!!!! I WILL DEAL WITH THEM AND HIM. DESTROY!!!!!! DESTROY!!!! KILLL!!!!!!

Uh, excuse that outburst (ahem, straightens tie), but do you see what I mean? It is like there are two dynamics pulling as us (and man, I hope it isn't just me) at the same time. Which one prevails decides what our reaction will be.

Highlander
06-06-2001, 08:35 PM
SLC ...... If a man comes up and calls your wife a fat, ugly, lawyer, ..... eh ..... I mean *****, you have no choice but to fight. Because no matter what this guy could do to you. Or how long it will take you to heal. Or how long you would be in jail. It is nothing compared to what you will have to endure from her for the next week, month, year, hell the rest of your life, if you don't. ;)

SLC
06-06-2001, 09:18 PM
Yeah (sigh).

That's pretty much what she said too. :rolleyes:

joedoe
06-07-2001, 07:34 AM
Can-O-Bud,

I would say that yes there are elements of both. Whether it is half-half I don't know. IMO the martial arts are meant to teach you self control, not only in your body but also in your mind.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

Can-O-Bud
06-26-2001, 09:25 AM
I realy believe that words are very powerful.

If you you look through history there are several examples of leaders that have brought countries to war by the power of words.

Look at Hilter. He convinced a whole country into believing that they should rise up and attmept to take over the world! Just by the power of his words!

I hear people say sometimes that they are very laid back and not affected by insults and comments but i still think everyone has a temper. And I dont think there's anyone that can endure verbal abuse without eventually snapping.

*just some thoughts for the day*

"My twa boab"

Bad Karma
06-26-2001, 01:35 PM
I'd rather take severe verbal abuse than physical one, as feeling insulted is not as bad as broken bones.


--
Bad Karma

dave the dragon
06-26-2001, 03:15 PM
the insult of a stranger telling me that my girlfriend is this and that is for me not reason to break his legs.(besides she'd be at him before I got a look in!)
yes , everybody does have a temper and therefore the ability to lose that temper and lash out but its how you control that emotion that dictates the successful outcome of the situation .
the moment you snap for that split second you lose control .
my old teacher used to say that if someone starts shouting and insulting you take all the energy they can throw your way ,dont shout back
but just smile

and remember the warrior acts , the fool reacts!
(remember reading that somewhere) ;)

Martial Joe
06-26-2001, 09:07 PM
Verbal...

omegapoint
06-28-2001, 12:54 PM
When's the last time you saw someone knocked out by words? 'Nuff said... :p

SLC
06-28-2001, 03:31 PM
Maybe there is no "right" answer.

Someone who has been beaten to death by a mob would probably pick DOOR#2 (words) if given the another choice.

Conversely, in a previous age, the loss of ones honor (really amounts to words in both eastern and western cultures) literally meant death. There are many accounts of people accepting suicide as "doing the right thing".

Duels came down the same path. A careless word might cost you your life or cause you to kill another.

Words can be extremely powerful. The song "Scots Wha Hae" is one of the most inspiring set of words I've ever heard. Gets the blood hot, so to speak.

I am sure many of you have seen the movie "The 13th Warrior", and remember the final battle. You may recall the mantra they recited:

Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother
and my sisters
and my brothers.
Lo, there do I see the line of my people
stretching back to the beginning.
Now, they do call to me and bid me
take my place beside them,
In the halls of Valhala,
where the brave shall live forever.

That may have been written by some Hollywood geek, but it sure stands my neck hair up! ;)

joedoe
07-01-2001, 03:27 AM
SLC, Loved that mantra. Excellent movie.

If a stranger calls you names, or insults a loved one, why should you get upset? They don't know you, so any insults that are thrown by them have no meaning.

If you get upset by insults, is it because of the insult, or is it because of the grain of truth behind the insult? Only you can perceive that truth because a stranger certainly would not know you well enough to perceive it.

Yes words have power, but they only have the power that you choose to give them. If you call me a useless SOB, then I can either get upset by your words or I could ignore them. If I knew that I was not a useless SOB then why should it worry me?

I'll shut up now. :)

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

Can-O-Bud
07-01-2001, 09:32 AM
So do any of you guys have any tips on how to not be affected my people that annoy you?

What goes through your mind when you disagree strongly with someone but dont want to get involved in an argument with them?

How do do you "let it slide"?

:D

"My twa boab"

SLC
07-01-2001, 10:00 PM
I think that one way to "let it slide" is to become more aware that our emotions belong to us. We actually can exercise control over them by using our brains, as ABandit describes. When someone makes me angry, to some extent it is because I have allowed him to.

I guess this takes practice, though, as I wish I could do it better. It makes sense in the abstract, but when someone is in your face it is hard to remember exactly why. ;)

joedoe
07-02-2001, 03:34 AM
Don't get me wrong, I am in no way perfect and I have a terrible temper. :) However, it is not as bad as it could be because 1) I try to be aware that I control my emotions, not the other way around and 2) I try to remember the long term goals and assess how an emotional response may affect those goals. If I get angry, will I achieve my final goal?

Meditation has also helped a lot :)

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

dave the dragon
07-02-2001, 04:44 PM
yes i would agree , meditation helps a lot
think of doing 30 minutes of meditation clearing thoughts from your mind .
it is a bit like going down the "mind" gym and giving it a good work out

after meditating on a regular basis you will find that your emotions are more easily to control.

you are still aware of them but they do not rule you or get the better of you in a confrontational situation.
it turns out that when someone is shouting at you or having a go you end up thinking to yourself

yeah hes being foolish , yeah he's being completely unreasonable but hes soo ****ed, poor bloke , and smiling to yourself.

its only necessary to take him out or become devastatingly aggressive if he makes it necessary by taking a step further.

Dave

shaolinboxer
07-02-2001, 08:06 PM
If you are interested in this topic the dali Lama has written some interesting things. The general idea is that people who insult you/hate you/want to hurt you actually hate themselves and are misdirecting their anger becuase they are weak or afraid. Therefore, you can feel sorry for them instead of getting angry right back. That's oversimplifying it, but it's sorta close.

Martial Joe
07-03-2001, 03:12 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> When's the last time you saw someone knocked out by words? 'Nuff said... [/quote]


Oh shut up...people will kill them selves easier from verbal abuse then from physical...


Example Verbal:A girl kills herself because people say things about her and she began to beleve it and became very depressed...

Example Physical:A guy gets punched and knocked down and hurt.

omegapoint
07-03-2001, 04:50 AM
I'm not talking about emotional abuse that takes place over years, genius. I'm talkin' on the street when some dumb-ass is rude, selfish or inconsiderate. When I went through the military the Training Instructors yelled at us continuously. Most of us didn't give up and commit SUICIDE you ignorant FizUCK! Although I've degraded you verbally more than once in this reply, I doubt that you'd go and kill yourself FOR ME!! My pops treated my entire family like isht for years and I'm here talking to your clueless ass!! We're not even talking about being emotionally beat-down for years by someone we love, we're talking about foolios like yourself trying to tweak nerves. Bombs vs. Diplomacy hurts. Rhetoric does not hurt. Concrete things HURT. Abstract things hurt only if you let them. So you shut your friggin' trap and read and COMPREHEND with some Logic (the YI) versus your Emotional Animal Mind... Is that easy enuff for you to understand... It's JUST man-made WORDS, WORD!? :p

joedoe
07-03-2001, 06:08 AM
omegapoint is right. If some stranger walks up to you and calls you a ************, why should you get upset? If your father abuses you constantly and you get so down that you kill yourself, then it is a different situation.

In both situations though, you still have the choice to listen to the abuse and let it get to you, or to ignore it.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

Martial Joe
07-03-2001, 07:13 AM
Actualy you both are right but wrong by what I am talking about...

I have actualy made a girl want to kill herself by talking to her in about a 2 hour period.And then I realized she really wanted to and pulled her out of it.I have to admit it was a pretty bad thing to do.But when I talk to people I can really mess them up in the head.It all depends on what you say.And Omega...I am not ignorant.I totaly understood what you were saying but it wasnt what I was talking about.You just didnt understand what I was talking about.

joedoe
07-03-2001, 08:31 AM
Did you know her?

Ultimately (and I know it takes a lot of hard work to get to this stage) you decide what 'gets' to you and what doesn't. If someone says something to you, it is still your decision as to how you react to that.

Often it is a waste of energy to get worked up about what people say, particularly if they are people you don't know.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

Can-O-Bud
07-03-2001, 09:58 AM
Tell her about your stamp collection?

"My twa boab"

jesper
07-03-2001, 12:03 PM
When I was younger, I used to be... not good at selfcontrol :)
But then my sifu told me this:

"**** happens"

Heres a little exercise for you. Whenever your driving a car, and this other driver do something stupid, count to ten and tell yourself "**** happens". Then start singing a happy song in your mind.
later apply it to every nontreathening situation.
This is very hard, belive me. Especially if you have a temper like I did.
When you feel it starts to help a bit, start using irony to look at the situation, its really great fun :)

I garantee that after a short while it will get easier, and later you will become very relaxed in your attitude towards other people.

To give you a resent example, I was out with some of my friend flirting with the ladies.
Then this bodybuilder type came up to me eager to start a confrontation (to impress the lady i suppose).
He started looking at me then asked the lady what she saw in me. So naturally I said to him:
"hey you may look better, but I bet your also more intelligent"
He kinda got this confused look on his face, so While he was thinking about what I said, I invited the lady out to dance :)

IcedSamurai
07-22-2001, 04:24 AM
I believe that verbal insults are the martial arts for cowards and wimps. They make fun of your mother just to make you mad and they think they can get a away with it without getting beaten up. Sometimes fighting back verbally is better than fighting back physically, it doesn't get you in trouble and cooler to fight fire with fire.

--------
Come, visit me and my floating island of serenity.. the Kingdom of the Winds..

Fish of Fury
08-02-2001, 05:32 AM
i used to have a temper but i lost it

__________________________________________________ _________________________ "I'm just trying to lull you into a genuine sense of security!"

Martial Joe
08-02-2001, 09:35 PM
No my rock collection...

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/lolup.gif IXIJoe KaveyIXIhttp://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/lolup.gif

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-28-2001, 11:43 PM
martial joe ....

so you like to manipulate people to huh?

i remember in highschool when i first realized how easy it was to do this i screwed with allot of people.

in fact, i did the same thing you did to a girl over a period of time. i convinced all her friends she wasn't worth hanging out with and her that she was worthless and that's why her friends stopped calling her. all through the power of subtlety. i did this because i wanted her and couldn't have her. after she was starting to show suicidal tendencies i started building her back up, convinced her friends they should start hanging out with her again, and planted the seed in her that i was what she really needed.

this all happened when i was 15. i'm 21 now and our 6 year anniversary is coming up this december. our daughter's name is adora.

i may be a sick selfish **** but i almost always get what i want. i also have the weakness of honesty and told her years later what i did. i don't think she would have believed me if she haddn't watched me screw with other people's heads while we were dating. she was mad at me for a good while but after adora was born she accepted what i did as a means to an end.

where's my beer?

nobody
08-29-2001, 05:01 AM
"insults are only true when you believe them." so if you react to verbal insults, you insinuate that they are true. atleast in my opinion.

wufupaul
08-29-2001, 07:46 AM
I've noticed that things don't affect me as much as I grow older, I guess I've learned to stay out of abusive situations. I think it depends on the person who's issuing the abuse, the amount of abuse, and how the person receiving it deals with it. Omegapoint^ pointed out that it depends on the situation; I totally agree. If your dad is slapping you around and calling you a worthless piece of goo, you're going to respond to it differently than if a guy out on the street did the same thing. Depending on how you control or express your emotions, you could bottle it up,release a whirlwind of whoopazz, or let it go. The amount of abuse also matters, I've seen people snap as soon as someone says something to them or hits them; then I've seen people not do anything as they get pummelled down or yelled at for 15 minutes straight. It's all in how you deal with it. If you hang onto it, it's gonna build up and hurt you. If you let it out in a positive way, and don't let people walk all over you, then you will live a happier healthier life. Martial Joe and Gunned Down: I'm glad I didn't know either of you when I was younger, who knows what I would have done after hearing of emotional manipulation like that. Glad to hear that both situations didn't end on completely negative outcomes, though.

"But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, cause I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"-Arnold Schwarzenegger

totallyfrozen
08-29-2001, 09:20 PM
I think that verbal abuse IS, in fact, VERY damaging to CHILDREN. I think that adults should take care to think about and watch what they say to children. Insults that you received as a child from other children and, especially, adults stick with you for years...sometimes for life.

As an adult, I don't think that verbal abuse should be tolerated but it usually is NOT grounds for physical confrontation. The exception, I think, would be that if you were in a situation where tolerating one persons verbal abuse could lead you to be abused by others afterward or could lead to more severe forms of abuse (like physical).
One example could be in jail or prison. If you tolerate abuse from one guy...everyone is going to see you as the punk and the next thing you know you will be getting beat up everyday that you wake up. There are other environments as well...not just prison.

Once people lose respect for you it if EXTREMELY difficult to get it back and sometimes you NEVER earn it back.

I believe that you indicate to people how they are to treat you. If you tolerate verbal abuse from someone, then you are telling them that you don't respect yourself and that they don't have to either.
I think the time when it might become physical is when you confront the abuser (and you SHOULD confront them) and tell them that you are not going to accept that or tolerate it and that they need to stop talking to you that way. If THEN the abuser doesn't accept your request and decides to push it...decides to call your bluff. You may need to enforce your will. This is very rare, I believe, as most bullies are cowards and will back down when confronted.

Some people say to just forget it and blow it off...but words CAN be damaging in many ways. "The pen is mightier than the sword." I think we've all heard that one before.
"There is only ONE karate"

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-30-2001, 12:31 AM
wufupaul ...

you wouldn't have done anything. i would have convinced you it was all for the best. :D

seriously though, i was a very angry, depressed, anti social individual and let my hate vent the only way i knew how. i serioulsy wished myself dead and didn't give a flying fu ck what happened to me let alone any one else.

i have grown out of that phase but i still win **** near every argument i have with people on a personal level. i don't try to manipulate them on purpose, but i have a way of twisting the truth so that i look the better.

can you guess what my occupation is?

where's my beer?

wufupaul
08-30-2001, 03:10 AM
Sorry, Gunned, you think that you can manipulate people, I seriously doubt you could manipulate me, haha. I'm way too strong for that. I also work for an ISP, haha, so I get paid to soothe people over and feed them crap, too. Plus, that Bachelor's in Psych. that I got in college helps me to gather when people are trying to pull a fast one over on me. I'm glad things worked out better for you and your girlfriend or wife didn't leave you for that stupid **** you did, but I still hate hearing stories like that.

"But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, cause I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"-Arnold Schwarzenegger

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-30-2001, 04:33 AM
dude . .. you missed the big :D .. .

that meant i was joking :D

then i said seriously though . .. that's when i was done joking.

where's my beer?

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-30-2001, 04:36 AM
i'm glad things worked out too. my little girl is my very breath and i can't imagine life without her.

where's my beer?

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-30-2001, 04:47 AM
after the day i had today im going to prepare a rant about working for an isp (on the phones that is .. the admins have their **** to do but seem to eat most of the time).

btw, i understand where you are coming from. i'm not proud of what i did, i'm just an open person and rarely hide things. being who i am now, i would have kicked the **** out of me back then too. it wasn't right and she didnt deserve that type of abuse.

where's my beer?

wufupaul
08-30-2001, 06:35 AM
I understand the ISP thing, today was a stupidperson day for me, too, haha.

"But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, cause I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"-Arnold Schwarzenegger

Lost_Disciple
08-30-2001, 07:13 AM
My lil bro was the manipulator.
I was the bruiser.
My dad was the bigger bruiser.
My lil bro being a pro would tease me 'til I saw red.
I'd pound him like bullies are supposed to.
My dad being a bit of a manipulator, middle son himself when he was younger, took the side of my brother.....in everything.
Everything was my fault, even stuff I didn't do.
I was wrong, but my dad reacted to my wrongness with the same wrongness.
My temper disgusted me when i grew older, not wanting to be like me or he.
I never learned to manipulate tho, other than some normal stuff in conversation. Ie. what to say, what not to say, how to carry a conversation to maintain people's interest. Wish I coulda, but conscience would never let me.

I don't have much respect for manipulators either. I consider most of you cowards, especially the part where you don't expect to get the crap kicked outta you. I've spent all these years trying to find other ways to retaliate, or even placate, without using my fists; but it's still a struggle. I'm kind of ashamed of that.

Just some thoughts from an ignoramus..

HuangKaiVun
08-30-2001, 03:10 PM
The girls that hang out with me know that people trying to intimidate me could get their faces bashed in.

Ever since I started training kung fu, nobody's been stupid enough to pick on me.


The only place where people will challenge me is in Internet Violin forums, but no violinist is stupid enough to face me in a violin duel in real life.


People will poke at a tiger in the zoo, but they think twice when there's no cage.

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-30-2001, 05:20 PM
ok .. . but where the hell did that come from huang?

where's my beer?

GunnedDownAtrocity
08-30-2001, 06:56 PM
lost ....

i have the worst of both worlds.

when i was younger my ability to twist the truth around my intended outcome led me to do allot of things i'm not proud of and i also have an extremely bad temper.

i have stopped messing with people's head's as i have grown up a little. like i said, i realize it was wrong. i don't think i was a coward in highschool though. i stood up for myself whenever necessary (i couldn't live with myself if i backed down like a puss) but admittedly i was always scared sh!tless and always hoped it didn't come down to fisticuffs.

i still haven't learned to control my temper though. i don't hit people but i have gotten really good at patching walls. most of this unbridled rage is released when fighting with my girlfriend so i really don't have a choice but to take it out on inanimate objects.

within the past couple months alone i have had to patch 4 holes in my walls, a second set of kitchen chairs/table (i broke the first one as well), my bathroom door looks like swiss cheese and needs replaced this weekend (this is the second one as well), i just replaced the sliding doors i have in my living room plus a closet door last weekend, i busted my comp desk, the metal frame on my comp (the case is always open) is bent and has small blood stains on it, the walls behind the comp desk had holes in them from the monitor or computer getting kicked/punched, had to fix the head board to my bed, had to replace a refrigerator (i bent the **** out of the door with a side kick and it wouldn't close. while fixing it the entire bottom hinge busted off as it was one of the landlords old ones and rusty at the bottom) plus i had to go to the doctor when i found a stud in the wall and fractured my knuckle.

i promised myself i'd stop this childish nonsense about a month ago and so far i have done really well. i have only punched one wall (in the very first week) during this time and haven't broke anything since. i'm ashamed when my friends come over and see me with the putty or paint out or when they comment on the size of my knuckles but in the moment i know nothing but complete and total rage. i just hope to outgrow this completely. i don't want to have to control this every time i get mad.

i guess i am still a youngin with high levels of testosterone, so i think that i will with time, but i just hope that i never go off on a person like that. i would actually rather lose that fight because if i beat them down i don't know if i would stop. i have been lucky enough to have not been in any situation that could lead to that since early highshcool. i guess only going to work and home doesn't leave much room for running into an altercation. as long as you're not a complete and total piece of **** it's easy not to hit a woman, but i wonder what would happen if a man managed to push my buttons the way she does. i'm not saying that i think i'm a real badass, or that i think that type of rage is going to do anything but decrease your fighting ability, but i sometimes worry about what would happen in the worst possible circumstance. i run into a guy i can beat down easily who puts me in that frame of mind.

does something automatically tell you to stop after you have given enough abuse or do you normally get dragged off by other people? or does that rage calm down a little when the sh!t hits the fan.

where's my beer?

Lost_Disciple
08-31-2001, 12:43 AM
GDA
----
That wasn't necessarily aimed at you, more my lil bro. I was taught that might wasn't right, with might. At the same time I was taught that manipulation could get you everything with a limited amount of payback. Kind of resented both lessons, but stuck with the first. I hated myself for being a bully. After knowing the pain of manipulation and constant teasing, I shy away from the second.

I should let you know though, that people manipulate all the time, conscious or not. Sounds like your heart was in the right place (wanting your girl, but didn't know any other way to get with her), so I wouldn't feel so guilty about it.

As far as putting holes in stuff, I've got a friend who did the same thing. He punched a thick wooden door so hard once that he separated the frame and hinges from the wall. I've destroyed a chair or two in my time. I think I've got subconscious restraints that kept me from ever putting a hole in a wall- not that I never tried. The most I ever did was dent the drywall. I'm pretty sure I can do more, cuz most of my wall punches were just arm punches (like they say in boxing) with not much body behind them. I've also dented steel doors, so I'm pretty sure I'm not that weak of a puncher. I'm lucky I've got that subconscious restraint, but honestly I think it's from my years as a "bully".

Let me clue you in from where my restraint came from. In answer to your question, most times "yes" there is satisfaction to the "blood rage". It depends on what caused you anger in the first place, certain things may make u near impossible to satisfy. With enough hitting, it can usually be placated. I remember losing it on my little brother. A lot of times his cowering would just make me angrier. Sometimes I'd stop when he'd start crying. Othertimes I'd stop as soon as a single blow felt satisfying. Still other times it'd end at exhaustion when, to quote Fight Club, "I had battery acid flowing through my veins".

I think maybe some other people on here can relate, but I've had nightmares (still do) about punching somebody with ineffective blows and getting scared/frustrated. I think I realize now that these "ineffective blows" feel exactly the same as the arm punching I was talking about. So when I decided to punch the wall, something in my subconscious clicked, realizing that I didn't want to pay to fix the **** thing, and I'd hit it with an arm punch.

As far as how you can stop? A friend of mine said he got good results by trying to talk through his problems, and not hit that point where he'd stop talking, seal up the rage inside, and vent with his hands. This way, he'd stall himself, until the chemical excitement of the rage started to subside. But then again, I found out recently that shortly after he was "doing so well", he pulled a gun on his gf when she dumped him. His situation was really bad, and if u knew to the extent to which she ****** him financially, emotionally, and physically, it might not seem so heinous. Not that I condone any such actions. I'm not implying that you are like him either. I honestly think talking to stall the rage can help- just trying to note that it might not be fool proof.

Lately I stall rage by thinking through it. It's the same as stalling through talking, just without talking. I send my brain on little "wild goose chases" until I start to calm down.

Good luck. Sorry for the long post.

Just some thoughts from an ignoramus.

nobody
08-31-2001, 05:46 AM
i hope you guys find a why to control your anger. i mean no offense, but maybe you can clarify this for me. could you guys(meaning the people who have trouble containing thier rage) explain to me what that is like. i have never been one of those people. oh sure i get angry, and sometimes i get frustrated enough to go ape**** on my bed. but i dont think i have ever experienced unbridled rage before. i was just wondering so i could better understand you. plus i do happen to know some one like that.

Lost_Disciple
08-31-2001, 07:09 AM
nobody
It's a little like being drunk. You may have a bit of an awareness of what's going on, but it's more like watching yourself through a tv screen. An idea pops into your head and you do it. Normal controls aren't there. There is no restraint. You find yourself doing stuff you don't really want to do, don't think is intelligent, just cuz it popped into your head. Wish I could explain it better. I don't get violent anymore, cuz I know how to deal with the urge, the rage, the sudden rush & confusion. It gets more difficult as your defenses drop though. Hope this helps, I'll get more specific if u ask me something specific..

Just some thoughts from an ignoramus.

nobody
08-31-2001, 03:17 PM
i really wasnt expecting a really great answer anyway, because how many people can discribe emotions, especially intense ones. thanks ;)

Sharky
08-31-2001, 09:13 PM
GDA, buy a punchbag ;)

SERIOUSLY! I got one and i've knocked the mofo off the wall twice now - when i had just been realy angry for one reason or another. Will save you on trips to the DIY store, and is good practice too.

Get one.

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"What you wan' cry fo? You know that my hammer is heavy and it got kick like tae kwon do, now you gwarn die slow... I'ma show you how to stretch a m0ther****er if you wanna watch tae bo"