Greatest Misconceptions

[Serpent]

What do you think are the greatest misconceptions in the martial arts from non-practitioners?

For example, I was trying out this balance thing at a mate's house, like a piece of wood on a roller (I can't be bothered to explain) and the first time I fell off, then I got it the second time.

He was all like, "Haha! You fell off! I thought you were some kind of kung fu master!" :rolleyes:

Where in kung fu do you learn how to balance on a plank of wood on a clay roller?! Sure, we develop our balance a lot and I got it right second time. Most others there kept on falling off. Anyway, made me think that a lot of people have great misconceptions about us as MA practitioners.

What have you encountered?

[joedoe]

* We all make animal noises like Bruce Lee
* We all strike crane stances like the Karate Kid
* We automatically react to adverse situations with a violent response. As a result people have to be more careful about how they treat you.
* If there is a fight, is expected that you will get involved.

[Serpent]

*WAAATAAAAAAAHHHH!*

[Water Dragon]

Originally posted by Serpent
*WAAATAAAAAAAHHHH!*

what?

[Serpent]

OOOH!

AAaaaaAAHHH!

*thumbs nose*

[Starchaser107]

thumbs nose then nods head and focuses with intent*

[Water Dragon]

* grabs crotch and makes thrusting motions with hips

[rogue]

That we can win any fight, it's easy and it's exciting.

[Vash]

And Keanu Reeves knows Kung Fu. And Jujitsu.

[PHILBERT]

I had a female Judoka tell me the other day she had to registar her hands as dangerous weapons. I wanted to laugh. She knew I practiced Kung Fu too.

[joedoe]

Originally posted by PHILBERT
I had a female Judoka tell me the other day she had to registar her hands as dangerous weapons. I wanted to laugh. She knew I practiced Kung Fu too.

LOL.

[Chang Style Novice]

Yeah, I got the "deadly weapon" thing recently from a bit of a dimwit. Also the "Frank Dux is the greatest badass ever! Bloodsport was totally real. San Shou is just stupid, Kumite is the real thing."

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Water Dragon
* grabs crotch and makes thrusting motions with hips

Is that a come on?

[Starchaser107]

*** all martial artists excel in bed!... wait...that's not a misconception.

[FatherDog]

I will double-leg, mount, and elbow the crap out of the next person that asks me if I can beat up Jet Li.

[Starchaser107]

what if it's jet li thats asking?

can you choke out royce?

[Serpent]

Hey Fatherdog. Do you reckon you could beat up Jet Li?

[Shaolin-Do]

"We automatically react to adverse situations with a violent response. As a result people have to be more careful about how they treat you."

Absolutely correct. My friends are very iffy as to what/how they say around me nowadays. ;)
My balance has gotten significantly better however...

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by Serpent
Hey Fatherdog. Do you reckon you could beat up Jet Li?

I hope you are eaten by a drop bear.

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by FatherDog


I hope you are eaten by a drop bear.

Nice to see that I'm not the only one who lives in fear and dread of the drop bear.


Biggest misconception: That we're all calm, serene, enlightened Miyagi types. In actual fact, we're just as trite, argumentative, and small as any other population. Moreso than many.



Stuart B.

[Shaolin-Do]

"we're just as trite, argumentative, and small as any other population. Moreso than many"

i dont argue!
:rolleyes:

I hate you, stupid peabrained bublef*ck!
Sorry, Im here to buy an arguement.
Oh, this is verbal abuse, arguments are down the hall, room 103.
Oh, thank you. Hello, Id like to buy an argument.
No you wouldnt.
Yes, I would.
ect....
:D

[TonyM.]

That's not arguement. That's contridiction.:D

[Shaolin-Do]

Ill cook your feet in hot oil.
:eek:




:D

[PHILBERT]

That we are great dancers, or we can combine our martial art with dancing.

[apoweyn]

Originally posted by PHILBERT
That we are great dancers, or we can combine our martial art with dancing.

Yeah, I get that one a lot actually. So wrong.

[MasterKiller]

That we know how to fight.....ooops.

[Shaolin-Do]

"we can combine our martial art with dancing."
No.

"That we are great dancers."
Some of us do know how to work it... :D

[Starchaser107]

that our martial arts will translate to every physical activity we do basically.

[Cheese Dog]

A guy asked me a while ago how long I'd been studying "karadee". I told him about 16 years. He looked at me oddly and said "16 years? Haven't you mastered it yet? I gots my black belt in Tae Kwon Do in 2 years!"

I immediately had him clubbed and skinned.

[Shaolin-Do]

Did you make a nice coat?
:eek:

"that our martial arts will translate to every physical activity we do basically."
due to the higher level of fitness and balance, and coordination and awareness of self... Indirectly it does. :)

[Starchaser107]

"due to the higher level of fitness and balance, and coordination and awareness of self... Indirectly it does. "

_______________________

I seriously doubt that alot of us here( much less the rest of the global martial arts community) are capable of performing delicate surgery, perform spectacular stunts on bmx, are excelent gymnasts, tightrope walking circus performers, mountaineers, etc, etc , etc..
but we still might be decent martial artists.
not everybody that does martial arts is a decent martial artist..
that in itself is a misconception
bless:cool:

[Shaolin-Do]

Not saying it gives that ability, but it does indirectly translate to other physical activities.

[MasterKiller]

I know I'm a better mechanic than I was before I started kung fu! Also, my floor waxing has improved exponentially.

[Starchaser107]

All of this may be true,
but this is not the rule for ALL martial artists, some might not be able to make that translation.
which is why its a misconception, even though theres truth to it.:D

[MasterKiller]

Maybe I should have added these tags:

I know I'm a better mechanic than I was before I started kung fu! Also, my floor waxing has improved exponentially.

[Starchaser107]

also, I would like to clarify that by saying, while martial arts might translate to your personal physical activities. Something outside of the box totally may or may not be so easy..but then you guys are all grandmasters so maybe.

[Starchaser107]

LOL

sarcasm ok, but still I feel the urge to clarify.

heh heh :p

[Ikken Hisatsu]

Im loathe to tell people I do kung fu, because the next thing they say is usually something like "really? I used to do karate when I was ten, wanna spar?"

then adopt some ridiculous fighting stance they saw on the matrix.

[BAI HE]

Or how they lernd the real **** and their teacher was banned from China or Japan for being to deadly.

It's almost as bad as saying they were the "Chinese champion from 82-85".

Champion of what???

I avoid these inquiries like the plague. I'd rather no one know what I do. I hate the dumb ass questions (do your own research) and the stupid flailing of arms, "are you fast enough to stop this!! WATAAAAH!

I feel like saying "Are you smart enough to go train? Go see for yourself. Work it out for yourself."
Let's face it, MA's are not for everyone.

[PHILBERT]

Actually, I've noticed that I do combine my art in the real world. At work, I dodge around people and am fast on my feet, I've dropped stuff before (nothing serious) and caught it with my other hand. I remember once I dropped a napkin, then caught it right in front of a girl's face with my other hand. She looked up and goes "Nice reflexes".

I also tend do use a tan sau to get around people who back into me. I'll be walking and someone quickly gets too close and I throw a tan sau up to push through. :p

[TIger Hand]

The registering your hands as deadly weapons is the one that always makes me wanna scream "IDIOT"

Ooops....that was boxers, not martial artist.....sorry

[Ryu]

Originally posted by FatherDog
I will double-leg, mount, and elbow the crap out of the next person that asks me if I can beat up Jet Li.

I hate Jet Li.

Ryu

[Vash]

Can you beat up Jet Li?

Oh, another thing I hate is when a customer at Hollywood (who happens to know I study krotty) asks me what it's like to study the same stuff as Jet Li, and if I am as bad-ass as him.

Bridget Fonda's NEVER called me gay.

[Ikken Hisatsu]

hah yeah thats one of the worst. "dude can you break this brick?"

bricks dont hit back.

[Vash]

The hell they don't. Got clocked in the cajones by a red one one time. Hurt like a . . . brick to the boys, I guess.

Darn thing needed to get hit. Not that it broke. After all, what does a Krottyman know of the ancient Hapkido/Shaolim style of masonry destruction?

[shaolinarab]

"so how was your class today?"

"good. as usual..."

"so what if i did THIS..." (runs at me with this aggressive expression on his face like he were about to strangle me with to death, while i just look at him with a clueless face)

"oh, man. you were supposed to do something!"

"well, if i thought you were threatening me it would have been your a.ss!

[Vash]

Dang straight. Woulda been OWNED. :D

:D


Dang. Won't let me click the smiley thing no mo.

[Vash]

From my girlfriends brother in law:

"What if you tried to git me while I was in my shop cutting a piece of rebar?"

[MightyB]

"Women are into martial artists."

[shaolinarab]

Originally posted by MightyB
"Women are into martial artists."

:rolleyes:

sounds simply like bad luck on your part...

;)

[MightyB]

Married--- one was too into this martial artist--- I guess you could call that bad luck ;)

Seriously though... being a martial artist is very much like being into D&D, Comic Books, or MANGA. All serious chick repellants.

[Kristoffer]

I guess I'm lucky on that part. i've had gf's before who 'hates me going to the club and being so violent' :rolleyes:



* If there is a fight, is expected that you will get involved.


ooooh so annoying!

[Serpent]

Wow, I just spent the weekend fighting off a surprise swarm of drop bears. Bloody things.

Another misconception: We all know how to do a knock-out just like Spock's death pinch to the neck.

[Serpent]

Yeah, I'm looking forward to learning all the secret death touches. Does your teacher often touch you?

[Serpent]

How many different strokes have you learned?

[Starchaser107]

with a stroke..must be a powerful stroke

[Serpent]

Aha, so you are vulnerable to the art of fighting without fighting!

[Shaolin-Do]

I train deadly techniques on sleeping elderly people.















:eek:

[Serpent]

Man, you come right out of a comic book.

[Shaolin-Do]

Eh?

[Shaolin-Do]

Eh, Ive got all of them on dvd. havent watched them that much however.
:)

Methinks its almost time for sleep.

[Serpent]

Try again!

[Shaolin-Do]

Try what again?
sleeping or watching dvds?

[Serpent]

That was another quote from Enter The Dragon. You really should watch it again. Call yourself a kung fu man?! Pah!

[Shaolin-Do]

i think "try again" is from about 80% of kung fu movies. Right up there with "too slow".

[Serpent]

It is Lau's time.

[Serpent]

We seem to be quoting the film in rewind!

:eek:

:)

[Shaolin-Do]

Yes. Tea and salad. Sounds good.
Then sleep. I have work in a few hours.

[Serpent]

You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin temple.

[Serpent]

This jig's got a passport! Where ya goin' Jig?

ZAP! POW! BIFF! etc.

[Serpent]

Ah yes, I know the one. I'll send her to you.

[Serpent]

Enter The Dragon Trivia #1:

That particular scene was actually the first scene of the movie that was filmed.

:)

[Serpent]

We could be here a long time if we carry on like this!

(Like a human fly!)

[Serpent]

Trivia #3:

And in the same fight, when Bruce kicks O'Hara back into all the chairs, one poor dude got his arm broken in the collapse. If you watch closely you can even see which one it was! Ouch! ;)

[Serpent]

Been practisin' huh?

:D

[Serpent]

Man, I know what I'm watching when I get in from training tonight!

Mrs Serp. will roll her eyes and go find something else to do, no doubt.... :)

"We forge our bodies in the fires of our will!"

[shaolinarab]

to switch this to another classic...


"who is the master?" (asks 3 times)

'i am...."

music kicks in...'take life one day at a time. that's what a wise man said to me....'



:p

[Ikken Hisatsu]

another few bits of trivia-

that isnt bruce doing the cartwheel kick. same when he does them in a couple of his other movies, he refused to do them because they were so ridiculous.

when that guy who is apparently from new zealand (god knows where he got that accent- I live in NZ and he didnt sound anything like anyone from here) is on the boat a little bit after that scene he nearly drowned when the boat tipped over.

when bruce is fighting OHara they had to use faster film than usual because otherwise they couldn't catch Bruce's punches. :eek: :eek: how fast is that?

the fight between the guards and the prisoners actually had a load of triad guys in it who carried on a real fight for hours after.

there was other stuff but i cant remember it atm.

[T'ai Ji Monkey]

Originally posted by Ikken Hisatsu
when bruce is fighting OHara they had to use faster film than usual because otherwise they couldn't catch Bruce's punches. :eek: :eek: how fast is that?

Actually not that fast, in those days the standard cameras could not catch fast actions that are common day now.
Frame-rate was lower than what is being used now.

Hence many ridiculous fight scenes in the old TV-series and movies.

The equipment was simply not that high-tech a few decades ago. ;)

[Serpent]

Originally posted by cerebus
Heh, heh, yeah, I think I read that the "New Zealander" was Australian (so why make him from NZ in the movie? Go figure). TLR

He sure as sh!t didn't sound Australian either!

I haven't seen Sho Nuff. :(

[Shaolin-Do]

This berry whatevermash!ts flavored whey protien tastes like old watered down jello.

[Kristoffer]

the fight between the guards and the prisoners actually had a load of triad guys in it who carried on a real fight for hours after.


cool.. to bad they didn't film that one