Give us your best story

[joedoe]

What's your best fight story? Doesn't matter if it was on the street, in your kwwon/dojo, or in you bedroom.

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

[Martial Joe]

Well in my bedroom I was fooling around and went to kick...slipped and landed right on my back...I kicked my own ass.

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/lolup.gif IXIJoe KaveyIXIhttp://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/lolup.gif

[Budokan]

I don't have one.

[sniff! sniff] [wipes eyes]

I wish I did....

Could someone please airmail me Rolls so I can have a good fight story? I want to battle someone who fought a blood-battle with a national san shou fighter....

K. Mark Hoover

[SLC]

Well, some years ago, my wife and I had a real row and she went in the bedroom and slammed the door shut. That really pi$ me off so I went to the door to just punch my fist right through it. :mad:

I really slammed that sucker. It had some weird chi at the time, though, and the only thing that broke was probably my thumb. :eek:

I couldn't go to the doctor because it would have looked stupid explaining what happened. So I just kept my mouth shut (as best I could) and after 2-3 months it got better.

Now I know some Karate, and I can handle myself better. I think I could whip that door now. :D

(Alternative consideration: if I had been able to punch through the door, there isn't the slightest doubt in my mind that its construction would have trapped my hand in the hole like one of those old barrel type bear traps... can't pull it back out. Then I could have explained to the fire department while they were getting me out.

Moral: If you are going to be INCOMPETENT, sometimes it is best to be TOTALLY INCOMPETENT. :))

Can eat with either hand. (But becomes moody when not fed regularly.)

[jimmy23]

about 15 years ago i was into TKD, and since I only weighed 145 pounds could do awesome jump kicks. I was sparring a female, and did a jumping side kick to her head. She flinched and didnt block, so I had the choice of nailer her of redirecting my kick. I sent my kick over her shoulder, where it got caught , and I fell straight down and landed on my head, of course it KOd me.

So, im so tough I can knock my self out!

Only a fool hates the truth, but the world is full of fools
Karl Gotch

[Urbanfist]

A kid was ****ing me off when I was conditioning for soccer. He's a football player and he loves to heckle me because he's smaller than me and he thinks that if he can get away with it, he's a badass. So I walked up to the top of the bleachers where he was and told him to hit me as hard as he could, just to get all that nastiness out of his system. He got scared and backed off and I backed him into the pole at the top of the bleachers. Like a caged animal, he struck out. Of course I just used a simple Wing Chun block to redirect it and countered with a right hook. It turns out I knocked the little ******* right off the edge of the bleachers. He landed on his back and didn't get up until his football player friends reached him. They told me to meet them in the parking lot. Point of honor: I did.
Two big guys, a shorter guy with a very broad build, and that little ***** who had been making fun of me for about 2 years were all there. They hadn't expected me to show. I offered to take them all at once. One of the big guys stepped forward and I whipped out my concealed weapon: my fightchain. I'm pretty **** impressive with that thing. It worked like a charm. I never had to fight them at all. :cool:

[Chang Style Novice]

A drunk poked me with his finger and called me bad words. I grabbed his finger and bent it towards him. He fell to his knees and yelped. The bouncers escorted him out. I finished my beer.

Not much of a story, I admit.

_______________________
Everything is universal, by definition.

[jimmy23]

HA! None of you knocked yourselves out! Im the man!

Only a fool hates the truth, but the world is full of fools
Karl Gotch

[joedoe]

Only a MMA could be good enough to knock himself out :D

I (un)fortunately have never really had to use my MA training, but at school I smacked a few people out. Not proud of that though :(

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

[Budokan]

I fought a peanut butter sandwich once. I won after I made it tap out.

K. Mark Hoover

[Watchman]

>>>I don't have one.

[sniff! sniff] [wipes eyes]

I wish I did....<<<

Don't be humble buddy, I remember your story of mortal combat with a roto-tiller. A true inspiration.
:D

[fiercest tiger]

i was challenged at my kwoon by a tkd guy and used a phoenix eye punch that droped him like ive never seen before. he went to hospital and lost his right kidney from it! believe it or not...im not to proud of that and my sifu was gonna hit me when i told him i used a phoenix eye to fight in a challenge.

the guy now is one of my friends...lol


i have been challenged quite a bit in my 9 years of teaching. ill tell you more stories later!! :D

come & visit us!
http://home.iprimus.com.au/ykm
yaukungmun@hotmail.com

[Crimson Phoenix]

My instructor doesn't like it either when we use the phoenix eye too during the training...it gets him nervous heheheeh
It's true that it can do hell of damages...

[IronFist]

I fought a locker in High School once. I kneed it as hard as I could. Lockers are hard to dent, but I got a nice bruise from it.

Iron

[Son_Goku]

Me.
40 jocks.
40 baseball bats.
Good running shoes.
Y'all can figure out what i did right?

Fear.....Fear attracts the fearful.....The strong....the weak....the innocent....
Fear is my ally...

http://www.namcoarcade.com/tekken4/images/tk4_profile_hwoarang.jpg
http://www.namcoarcade.com/tekken4/images/tk4_concept_hwoarang.jpg
http://www.namcoarcade.com/tekken4/images/tk4_concept_fox.jpg

[dunbarj01]

Hey Fiercest Tiger,

If it means losing a pretty important organ, I don't want to ever be your friend. :)

Abandit,

Perhaps you've been smacking out the wrong people. :D

[Urbanfist]

I also fought my locker once and I punched the lock so hard I broke the ******. (and my knuckle.) My sifu thought that was pretty funny. Laugh it up, Lei.

[Can-O-Bud]

I once fought a plumber.

Grabbed his ball-**** and got him to "tap" out.

:eek:

"My twa boab"

[Scott]

Once I saw a ninja on my roof, so I climbed up after him. He tried to fly away, but I grabbed onto his shirt and kicked him in the hand until he cried.

Then his ears turned into wings and he flew away.

-Scott

"Life is hard, but so am I." -- The Eels.

[wingchunwsl]

i too, have fought a ninja... the great ASHIDA KIM NINJA. i paid a load of money for him to fly over and fight and at the end... i was defeated. :(

i'm lucky to stil be alive cause he put me in his deadly ninja sleeper hold so i'm pretty glad... :)

[joedoe]

I think I fought a ninja once, but I couldn't see him so I don't know :D

cxxx[]:::::::::::>
What we do in life echoes in Eternity

[yin lion]

I was doing some mantis on the ice and had not learned to do full spilts yet needless to say I learned them that day. :eek:

you must unlearn what you have learned then and only then will you be wise and have knolage

[jun_erh]

I beat on Gregory Hines. He tapped out, like always

[Fish of Fury]

i tried tap dancing once...i kept falling in the sink

__________________________________________________ _________________________ "I'm just trying to lull you into a genuine sense of security!"

[Mojo]

Two weeks ago I was pulling up an elbow compression bandage and my hand flew off and I ended up punching myself in the nose.
That was the best shot I've taken in years.


..............................................

He stuck his finger in your WHAT !?!?

..............................................

[Tvebak]

I once did a perfect au batido (onehand handstand with kick) hitting one of my fellow capoeiraplayers in the neck, then kicking my foot into my supporting hand so i broke a toe and landed on my head.
Also i once got a really nasty bitemark during fullcontact sparring, so i figure that why your are not supposed to kick to the head???
Once i practised whipping punches a lot i sparred this guy for an hour and his ears was blue for weeks...**** that looked funny.

[straight blast]

My friend (we shall call him "Darrel") was training weapons in his Jingwu class. He chose Nunchucks. After using the foamies for a while he went out & bought some real ones.

AS he is a man of habit he began his training at 8:30 in the morning as he always does. While practising some form he cracked himself on the head and fell face down unconcious.

Once he woke up he had blood down the side of his face from a split just in front of his ear. Feeling hungry he decided that he'd go and have some breakfast. Only when he walked outside, it was dark. Time: 7:30 in the evening (same day).

He now practises with a partner!!!! :D :D

"Through strength, learn gentleness. Through gentleness, strength will prevail"

[Taoist Disciple]

Heh Tvebak,

The can opener is a good move no? How is your Armada and Parafuso?

Seek naturalness. Act without forcing.

[BaleFire]

one time part of my backpack was jammed in my locker so it wouldn't open. I backed up to the other side of the hall and ran at it and flying kicked it, worked like a charm.

[umgong]

I'm an old f@rt compared to many of you so this story is a little dated.

In the early sixties I was helping a friend have a grand opening of his Kenpo school in soCal. He knew Ed Parker so besides a lot of the local guys, Chuck Norris (Tang Soo Do) and Bruce Lee who had just done a couple of episodes of the "Green Hornet" were to be guests at the grand opening.
Chuck came late but he still did some really neat board breaking stuff.
Bruce came really, really late. I was asked to look out for him and did not recognize him, but luckily someone else did. They only introduced him and let the audience go as it was late.
I was in gi and several students from other schools asked about some of the weapons hanging on the walls. I was one of the guys who got to demonstrate weapons (jiujitsu training)and Okinawa te training. so I was showing off, when Bruce asked about the nunchaku hanging on the wall. Dan Inosanto was with him.
I was not trained in nunchaku! but I was a showoff and I grabbed the nunchaku and started doing figure eights and got bold so I did hand transfers...circle the nunchaku around neck and underarm, the other hand takes over, then I got real overconfident and brought the flailing nunchaku right in between my legs (was supposed to hit the inner thigh).....I believe I immediately went into fetal position on the tatami and wished someone would throw the tatami over me to hide my embarrassment.
Bruce said, "That's a pretty neat weapon... just let the opponent use it and he beats himself to death. You don't even have to hit the opponent."
I waited until he walked away until I crawled back into the changing room.

[The Whyzyrd]

now THAT's funny!

"The Wolf does not regard the barking dog"

[joe yang]

A couple years ago, we put down a small disturbance at the prison where I work. We had 16 guys, locked down in single cells, in the max unit.They were making so much noise, it was keeping the rest of the jail awake. They were blocking toilets, flooding the tiers, throwing wet paper into the dayroom, just being stupid.

Our strategy still is to go cell to cell and handcuff everyone, open the door, strip everything and turn off the water. Everyone spends the night on bare concrete, in their briefs. Everyone who co-operates gets their stuff back in the morning. If you don't co-operate, we "suit up", "roll in" and do a "take down". We cuff and shackle you, then strip your cell. Mind you, we preserve all this for posterity, on video.

Anyway, on the very first "cell extraction", I draw point, the shield man. I run in with a foam rubber pad and pin the guy to the back wall. My number 2 man and number 3 man are supposed to go left and right and each grab a wrist, so no one gets shanked. I'm supposed to fall to the ground and grab the guys ankles, so 2 and 3 can pull him down, over my shoulder, onto his stomach. From there we can cuff his hands behind his back and shackle his legs.

Up to the take down, everything was okay. Then everything went south. I have the guys ankles and he is beating me on the head and shoulders. Now we are all wearing motorcycle helmets, with smoked glass shields. Our filed of vision is pretty small. I don't know what is happening and I can't let go, so while I'm getting pummeled, I shackle the guy. I realize he is on his back. I flip him over by the ankles. Kneeling on his legs, I crawl up to his back and start cuffing him. We go roll on 7 more cells, the other 8 comply. I don't figure our what happened till I see the tape at shift change.

My number 2 guy closed his eyes sometime during the extraction. At one point in the tapping it is evident. He grabbed the number 3 guy in a head lock. They end up fighting each other.

It sounds really stupid. The tape is really funny. With the adrenaline dump and all, it can really happen. What is really scarry, is the inmate we rolled on is now doing life for a really viscious and brutal murder.

[umgong]

That is a real story. My hat is off to you guys in the jail system. A good friend of mine and a nephew are jailers (LA County Sheriffs), never a dull moment.

A different story that I remember...I was practicing iaido (live sword) at a park...I was teaching a self-defense class in the parks and recreation building, but I would arrive about an hour or so early so that I could work out.
The park was empty(early in the morning), except for these three guys who were bigger than me coming straight towards me. When it was clear that they were coming near, I grabbed the sheathed sword...more to keep them from getting a live blade(mine)in case they had bad intentions.
The three guys started speaking Spanish to each other...I've had three years of Spanish language in high school. I understood enough. I answered them in Spanish that what I practiced was real.
So saying, I did a flying kick at a branch overhead...Imagine all our surprise when my foot hit the ground...slippery mud. I slipped and fell on my a$$...laying there with the air knocked out of me, the whole branch snapped and fell on me.
I heard from one of them.."Pendeho"(stupid) but they left I believe that they were impressed when I broke the branch.

One of the early times that I kicked my own a$$, plus have an inanimate object beat me.

[wongfeilung809]

i was in class doin some fighting with my younger sister,some trapping and whatnot, well i hit her she was falling, i grabbed her wrist to prevent her from falling and pull her back to hit her again, but she used the pull and rush right back in and straight punched me right in the throat, stunned but not phased, i smiled at her, and slipped a punch straight to her chest, knocked her back into the wall, knocking over sifus scrolls ,written by yip chun, she caught it before it hit the floor, but when sifu got back, he came back inside after he heard the thud that was her hitting the wall, he seprated us and made us do the form one leg....
simpleangles