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View Full Version : Favorite jacked up moments from kung fu movies


KC Elbows
10-10-2003, 02:06 AM
Not talking good moments, talking those moments where you look on in utter disbelief that film was spent on what you're watching, and then laugh in spite of yourself.

I've got two:

1: some jet li film, there's a japanes spy posing as chinese, the heroes figure out he's japanese because he has a third nipple. Huh?

2: Some movie where it's monkey versus eagle, I thought it was the old version of iron monkey. The monkey stylist must train his monkey by... repeatedly poking a tiny monkey. A real one. Over and over. On the head. And it just goes on, this monkey looking from camera to poker like he's thinking "what the fock is wrong with you people?"
chen zhen
10-10-2003, 03:33 AM
the gay WC expert from The Prodigal Son. whats the deal wit him? why couldnt the theatre troup have hired a women to sing, instead of dressing a man up like a woman?
Ray Pina
10-10-2003, 05:28 AM
The entire Black Mask II

Jesus Christ! I liked the first one, thought the cop moved really well for his build. Then part II is about WWF lizard men ... tottaly rediculous ... but I watched the whole thing.:eek:

And Shaolin-Do, kind bud didn't help any:cool:
wooha
10-10-2003, 07:07 AM
Originally posted by KC Elbows
1: some jet li film, there's a japanes spy posing as chinese, the heroes figure out he's japanese because he has a third nipple. Huh?

This happened in Fist of Fury. They figured out he was Japanese because he was wearing Japanese underwear. There was a dramatic close-up of his chest/midriff area but it was to highlight his under-garments, rather than any superfluous nipples.

This might also have happened in Fist of Legend (Jet Li), but it's been too long since I've seen it so I can't remember.
Chang Style Novice
10-10-2003, 07:10 AM
I like in "The Chinese Connection" or "The Big Boss" (the one where Bruce Lee takes down an ice factory that's a front for drugs and goes by at least two different names) when Bruce side kicks a henchman through a wall, and the guy leaves a henchman-shaped hole in the wall, just like if he was Wile E Coyote.

Also, about halfway through "Legend of a Fighter" (I think that's the title) the hero Fok Yun Gap, who to this point has been played by Yuen Yat Chor suddenly becomes Leung Kar Yan for no apparent reason. This is very confusing, because the two actors do not resemble one another in the least. Also, one of the father's kung fu powers in this movie is to break an egg by putting it in a glass and squeezing the glass.
yenhoi
10-10-2003, 07:13 AM
Fist of Legend, Bruce Lee version, when he goes to the japanese dojo they tell him to take his chinese shoes and leave, then he kicks all their azzes.

Enter The Dragon, when Jackie Chan gets kicked in the nutz by the kung fu chick, then goes and kills herself.

:rolleyes:
Ray Pina
10-10-2003, 07:24 AM
The little silver glove on the end of the pole held my the master monk running the head-striking kung fu station in Master Killer ... looks like something out of a kinky 70's porno.
KC Elbows
10-10-2003, 07:31 AM
In the dubbed version of CTHD, there is a point where one guy in a bar says "I practice the phoenix style" or something to that extent while shaking his fan like a bird's wing. In the dubbing, he says "I practice tiger style".

I think the bruce lee one CSN mentions is the same one that has the birdcage debacle. Villain throws his bird cage onto a branch, and it lands there perfectly still in that "we actually dragged the birdcage off the branch and reversed the film" kind of way.

Wooha, I think the one I'm thinking of is Fist of Legend, and you may be right about the japanese underwear, but they really should have tried to find a two nippled actor for the scene. How can we look at the underwear when there's that superfluous nip in our faces?:D
FatherDog
10-10-2003, 09:09 AM
Also in CTHD, in the bar scene where all the guys are attacking the chick with the sword, you can see that one of them is wielding a giant abacus.

WTF?
neigung
10-10-2003, 09:14 AM
Hey man, when it's you and a bunch of other guys against a chick with a sword...you use any weapon you can.
CFT
10-10-2003, 09:49 AM
Originally posted by chen zhen
the gay WC expert from The Prodigal Son. whats the deal wit him? why couldnt the theatre troup have hired a women to sing, instead of dressing a man up like a woman?
He was not gay. He was certainly effeminate, but not gay.

In those days acting was not an honourable profession for men, let alone women. No self respecting father would allow his daughter on the stage. No, she had to stay indoors out of the sun with her feet bound up ;)

This practice of men portraying women on stage was not confined to China, it also occured in the West too. Have you seen the film "Shakespeare in Love" (Joseph Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Affleck)? They has adolescent boys playing the lady's parts .... until Gwynny joins in at the end.
MasterKiller
10-10-2003, 09:55 AM
I'd like to join Gwynny in the end.
Chang Style Novice
10-10-2003, 01:03 PM
KC -

Yes, the Ice Factory Bruce Lee movie (in all it's glorious names) also had the villain toss a birdcage into a tree in glorious backwardsvision.

Which reminds me of how Bruce wins the fight with that villain! The guy throws a dagger, and Bruce falls on his ass into a straight-leg kick which bounces the dagger straight back into Evil McBadguy's gut.

I've been practicing this technique diligently, and am now 6" shorter than I was when I started.
Shaolin-Do
10-10-2003, 01:06 PM
"And Shaolin-Do, kind bud didn't help any"

You just didnt use enough.
:cool:

Cant believe no one has mentioned... dont know the name... just seen the clip...
Of the 2 handed palms against the ears and explode the head move.
CaptinPickAxe
10-10-2003, 01:09 PM
My favorite KF movie moment has to be the Jet Li flick where he's blind-folded and has an ass load of Katanas. He walks through an alley just cutting people up. What flick was that?
Vash
10-10-2003, 02:00 PM
That'd be The Legend II. God, both of those movies sucked so much ass their teeth ended up brown.
CaptinPickAxe
10-10-2003, 02:14 PM
Jet Li sux. But it was a cool concept.

I prefer flicks such as:
-a snake in the eagles shadow
-Drunken Master
-Spiritual Kung Fu

All of which have horrible acting, but supurb Fight sceens.
If you gauge KF movies for acting then your watching them for all the wrong reasons. I've yet to see a single KF movie with good acting...
Kristoffer
10-10-2003, 02:32 PM
Hero had good acting
The Willow Sword
10-10-2003, 03:37 PM
i have one movie title and i need not say more than just that................


















































GYMKATA :eek: :eek: :eek:
CaptinPickAxe
10-10-2003, 03:43 PM
how about,
"The Surging Chi that Took Bejing by Surprize"?
chen zhen
10-11-2003, 01:58 AM
He was not gay. He was certainly effeminate, but not gay.

Sammo Hung (playing his brother) called him "f@g" and other degrading terms in the movie. its mostly because of that i said it.;)

also in "the Big Boss" when Lee is fighting the main villain in the end, the villain suddenly pulls a knife and throws it at him. but quick as Lee is, he kicks the knife (:eek: ) making it change direction like a boomerang and hit the villain back. and as the knife hits him, the movie freezes making it look like time changed around them. WTF?!
CFT
10-11-2003, 02:26 AM
Originally posted by chen zhen
Sammo Hung (playing his brother) called him "f@g" and other degrading terms in the movie. its mostly because of that i said it.;)

In the original Cantonese dialogue he calls him "loi yun ying"; a disparaging remark about how lady-like a man is. Doesn't mean gay though.

Was "f@g" used in the English dubbing?
chen zhen
10-11-2003, 02:30 AM
yes it was. and in fact, it WAS english dubbing (meaning british) and not american for the movie. never heard that before.:) and the dubbing was done many years ago.
Kristoffer
10-11-2003, 07:47 AM
:D


too bad this genre is practically dead
yenhoi
10-11-2003, 10:46 AM
So how 'bout kill bill?

It was badass.

:confused:
Kristoffer
10-11-2003, 11:16 AM
You thought so? Great! I'm looking forward to see it alot. Should b out here soon
Former castleva
10-11-2003, 11:37 AM
There was this highly cheesy movie in which the hero sat on villainīs neck,scratching his face like a cat.
It is unlikely that you have seen it,I did not actually bother watching it entirely...wonder why.I think itīs from seventeeīs and itīs name might simply have been "Kung-Fu".
Kristoffer
10-11-2003, 11:54 AM
Jackie Chan does that in 'Snake in the eagles shadow'. Althought that movie was overall kinda funny
Former castleva
10-11-2003, 12:01 PM
Certainly not the movie I talked about.
Royal Dragon
10-11-2003, 04:46 PM
Spiritual Kung Fu,

LOL!!! We have that one on RIGHT NOW at my house. Funny, years ago it cured my daughter's fear of ghosts because the ghosts were so damm hysterical in that movie.
norther practitioner
10-11-2003, 05:27 PM
Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
Jet Li sux. But it was a cool concept.

I prefer flicks such as:
-a snake in the eagles shadow
-Drunken Master
-Spiritual Kung Fu

All of which have horrible acting, but supurb Fight sceens.
If you gauge KF movies for acting then your watching them for all the wrong reasons. I've yet to see a single KF movie with good acting...
:rolleyes:
You obviously haven't seen the right ones.....
Kristoffer
10-12-2003, 11:20 AM
Fist of Legend with Jet Li had good acting too.
Chang Style Novice
10-12-2003, 11:31 AM
...if by 'good' you mean 'not completely embarassing.'

Once again, if you've never had a role that DID NOT require you to perform a spinning crescent kick, you are NOT a real actor.
Former castleva
10-12-2003, 11:35 AM
I beg to disagree but if your role is dependent on a kick,Iīm willing to bet that the actor wonīt grow too hot.
Kristoffer
10-12-2003, 11:39 AM
well........ as good as acting can get (almost) in a movie that is build up by different fight scenes.
planetwc
10-12-2003, 05:07 PM
That was I think "Twin Dragons" aka "Tai Chi Master".

Either that or one of the Fong Sai Yuk movies.


Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
My favorite KF movie moment has to be the Jet Li flick where he's blind-folded and has an ass load of Katanas. He walks through an alley just cutting people up. What flick was that?
wooha
10-15-2003, 07:44 AM
Also in Big Boss, or whatever it is we're calling it. I love the bit where Bruce Lee has to fight all those Alsatian dogs and they're all flying around over his head and stuff.

My least favourite jacked up kung fu movie moment has to be in Dragon's Claws (http://www.kungfucinema.com/reviews/dragonsclaws.htm). The old master is making some kind of medicinal remedy/tonic for the star of the show, and the essential ingredient is children's urine :confused: . Thanks to this crazy old man the local kids end up having a ****ing competition.. mostly just ****ing in the old dude's face. Then he goes and serves it to the unsuspecting student who chokes as soon as he samples it. He asks "What is this", at which the master goes (in his best dodgy old man voice) "children's urine".

It's hilarious, but kind of disturbing at the same time.
Chang Style Novice
10-15-2003, 11:04 AM
Originally posted by FatherDog
Also in CTHD, in the bar scene where all the guys are attacking the chick with the sword, you can see that one of them is wielding a giant abacus.

WTF?

He left his slide rule at home, duh!
Kristoffer
10-15-2003, 11:21 AM
LOL
PHILBERT
10-15-2003, 12:40 PM
I liked the Street Fighter 2 sequence in Jackie Chan's City Hunter. When Gary Daniels and Jackie Chan were Ken and Chun Li.
Kristoffer
10-15-2003, 02:27 PM
That was sorta cool yea