View Full Version : Nuthin Sez "I Do Kuhraddy" Like....
Jowbacca
11-06-2003, 12:20 PM
...like gold or chrome -colored, foam-dipped chops...
...like a Sun Dragon nunchaku tape on my desk...
...like floppy foam dipped booties...
...like a Daniel-San Bonzai bandana...
...like religiously watching ESPN2 for their Kata & Breaking demos (especially if you lipsynch along with every "kiai")...
...like growing your hair to be just like Wayne Dalglish...
...like buying Paul Mitchell hair care products "just to support the team"...
...like a chrome-plated bo staff that tapers at each end...
...like multi-colored demo gis...
...like a pair of the old MC Hammer/weight lifting pants that have elastic bands at the waist and ankle, and flare out in between (especially if in some faded pastel color or indistinguishable print design)...
...like oiling the ball bearings on your Glow Chucks...
...like screaming "AI YAHHHH!" to close the refridgerator...
...like a black belt in 6 months program...
...like discussing the martial applications of a 720 ariel...
...like having a "My Child Is A Black Belt" bumper sticker...
...like proudly displaying your 4 foot tall "Kata: Beginner Division" trophy...
...like sporting headgear that could've been ripped from the X-Wing pilots in the first Starwars movie...
...like droning on about the differences between a warrior and a fighter...
...like owning a pair of tabi...
...like training to be deadly with your plastic, mock up "chinese stars"...
...like quoting Mr Miyagi...
-
feel free to add.
not trying to target anybody, just a slow day at the office.
norther practitioner
11-06-2003, 12:48 PM
Nice list...
...like a nunchaku Kata tape in my VCR ...
Chang Style Novice
11-06-2003, 01:11 PM
KTFOing sanshou pu$$ies...;)
SifuAbel
11-06-2003, 01:13 PM
"...like a pair of the old MC Hammer/weight lifting pants that have elastic bands at the waist and ankle, and flare out in between (especially if in some faded pastel color or indistinguishable print design)...'
Everything but this, I like Hammer pants except for the low crotch ones.
Judge Pen
11-06-2003, 01:25 PM
Black gis with a white belt.
Combination mohawk/mullet?
ShaolinTiger00
11-06-2003, 02:03 PM
a red white and blue gi american flag!
*salutes*
Fu-Pow
11-06-2003, 02:38 PM
The Shaolin-Do patch sewed to your Gi that you wear when your practicing your 2 section staff without shoes?
God...sorry...I couldn't resist.
norther practitioner
11-06-2003, 03:01 PM
I was waiting for someone (read you) to say that...lol:D
Judge Pen
11-06-2003, 03:20 PM
I was waiting for that too. :rolleyes:
CaptinPickAxe
11-06-2003, 03:26 PM
Ya know, everyone knocks the mullet, but @ my old High School the thing was the old Christian Monk cuts. Like balding but shaved to look that way. Disgusting
ninthdrunk
11-06-2003, 03:31 PM
It would have been better like this:
"The Sin The's Karate patch sewn to your Gi that you wear when practicing your 2 section staff without shoes in your dojo preparing for your next belt test so you can learn even more historically false information and pointless katas"
wow....the maturity level is ever dropping............
Starchaser107
11-06-2003, 03:33 PM
was there a maturity level to begin with
*shrugs shoulders*:rolleyes:
Ray Pina
11-06-2003, 03:34 PM
... like thinking the ability to do a full split nullifies anything an attacker can do.
... like knowing you have to turn and kneal after "illegal" contact.
.... "ichi", "ni", "saw", "shi", "go", "rocko", "sichi", "hachi", "cu", "ju"
Judge Pen
11-06-2003, 03:38 PM
Originally posted by EvolutionFist
.... "ichi", "ni", "saw", "shi", "go", "rocko", "sichi", "hachi", "cu", "ju"
You could be doing Aikido!
Starchaser107
11-06-2003, 03:45 PM
OOOS! to everything and everyone, and bow to everything and everyone. and shout alot when you do stuff, and have a menacing scowl while doing the most mundane tasks, like preparing dinner , as if you were preparing seppuke
or however that's spelled
rubthebuddha
11-06-2003, 04:00 PM
typically seppuku.
and back to the topic ...
... wearing an ass-muppet shirt like this (http://www.centuryfitness.com/wcsstore/century_test_store/IMAGES/LARGE/09114-LG.JPG). it's the martial arts equivalent of "no fear" t-shirts, the majority of which were bought by scrawny dudes who had a hard doing a single pushup.
Fu-Pow
11-06-2003, 04:09 PM
Originally posted by ninthdrunk
It would have been better like this:
"The Sin The's Karate patch sewn to your Gi that you wear when practicing your 2 section staff without shoes in your dojo preparing for your next belt test so you can learn even more historically false information and pointless katas"
wow....the maturity level is ever dropping............
Now why didn't I think of that?:D
...like oiling the ball bearings on your Glow Chucks...
yea, that's dumb. powdered graphite is better.
Only one I could relate to so I guess I'm ok.
:D
Ming Yue
11-07-2003, 06:43 AM
...memorizing a cheesy student creed so you can bark it out at the end of class....
brothernumber9
11-07-2003, 08:21 AM
at every tournament before you start you yell at the top of your lungs in your best van **** pose "MY NAME IS!!!....MY STYLE IS!!!...MY KATA IS!!!.....WITH YOUR PERMISSION I WILL BEGIN!! AI!!!"
MasterKiller
11-07-2003, 08:24 AM
Your black belt ceremony was held at the YMCA.
Meat Shake
11-07-2003, 08:29 AM
KIIIIIYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-getting penalized for using a takedown while you are point sparring.
getting penalized for using a takedown while you are point sparring.
LOL
In the last Tang Soo Do tournament I sparred in, they kept giving the guy I fought points for throwing crescent kicks that were like 6 inches from my face. I later found out it was because I didn't block the kick. I would have had to lunge forward for the kick to even be in range of possibly hitting me. What a joke.
At another tournament, I was commended by an instructor for beating my first opponent. I scored 3 points in a row with the same technique - a simple abdomenal punch. She qualified her compliment by say "but, that's not Tang Soo Do."
Funny stuff.
:D
Meat Shake
11-07-2003, 08:43 AM
- your official copy of Chuck Norris's "Winning isnt everything" book, signed by Chuck Norris himself.
Ming Yue
11-07-2003, 08:53 AM
...you got one of those battery operated nunchaku hamsters that sing "kung fu fighting" as a gift....
or worse, you bought one yourself.
Meat Shake
11-07-2003, 08:57 AM
You learn your "deadly karate kata" from your singing chaku swinging hamster.
David Jamieson
11-07-2003, 09:06 AM
I know some Karate pracs that would surely make some of you guys cry like little girls who just lost their ice cream cone to the neighbours dog.
I know some karate schools that teach superior martial arts to some Kungfu schools i've visited.
I also was a karate prac for a time in my life and I gotta say, the only problem i have with Karate in general is the "americanization" of it with the dance and glowchucks, black belt 12 year olds, screaming the guts out without focus and stupid musical katas that look ****y and completely inneffective martially.
But then, that's not karate, that's just typical american marketing bozoland hype garbage.
take karate back for what it is!
cheers
Meat Shake
11-07-2003, 09:17 AM
And if you dont believe KL, go to the international karate point sparring championships!
Its so hardcore that the only rules are-
No face contact.
Light body contact.
No takedowns.
No knees.
No elbows.
No finger strikes.
No kicks to the knees.
No looking at your opponent with that "evil look" in your eyes.
Ming Yue
11-07-2003, 09:29 AM
KL,
I agree. There's a Sensei at the dojo where I train JJ who has some amazing skills. He's got a sidekick that would pop your liver straight out through your spine. Seen plenty of fine Karate, but we're not talking about Karate,
we're talkin 'bout Crotty.
:)
David Jamieson
11-07-2003, 09:36 AM
just watch a K1 event. Now that's Karate! lol
My friend is a top K3 fighter and he is one of the toughest fighters I have met. Kyokushin is where it's at for Karate fighters.
cheers
Meat Shake
11-07-2003, 09:49 AM
Ive seen some good karate practitioners, and my old TKD sensei was pretty good with his hands, but its still fun to poke fun.
SevenStar
11-07-2003, 11:57 AM
don't underestimate the power of a 720 arial while wearing tabi boots!
Seriously though, good karate is awesome.
brothernumber9
11-07-2003, 12:42 PM
it ain't real krotty unless you can take a punch in the neck from 4 sides simultaneously, let someone kick you in the nads a few times, and then take a side kick while kneeling blindfolded.
The 4 sides thing is great - keeps your neck from breaking. Be much more dangerous to get hit from one or two(non-opposing) sides.
As I'm typing this, there's an ad for brightly colored chucks (Graphite Nunchaku!) at the top of the screen.
ShaolinTiger00
11-07-2003, 02:00 PM
Holding a wicked cool katana while posing for pictures, but holding it completely wrong!
e-budo sword guys bust on them! (http://www.e-budo.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12982)
CrippledAvenger
11-07-2003, 02:20 PM
Originally posted by Kung Lek
Itake karate back for what it is!
Amen! Bring on the death matches, and Sonny Chiba movies!
:D
Fu-Pow
11-07-2003, 02:27 PM
Originally posted by brothernumber9
it ain't real krotty unless you can take a punch in the neck from 4 sides simultaneously, let someone kick you in the nads a few times, and then take a side kick while kneeling blindfolded.
Haha...that's not Kahraahdy. That's Juko Kai!!!! I love that documentary on Discovery. It was so hilarious, especially that part.
ShaolinTiger00
11-07-2003, 02:31 PM
it ain't real krotty unless you can take a punch in the neck from 4 sides simultaneously, let someone kick you in the nads a few times, and then take a side kick while kneeling blindfolded.
oh yeah. "shaolin monks" with spears on their necks, lgetting kicked in the crotch while laying on a bed of nails while smashing cinder blocks on their chests, licking hot irons and other feats of "iron shirt" qigong aren't equally as ridiculous?
:D
You guys really need to start a "Nuthing Sez "KUNG FU" like thread..
that will be almost parallel in comedy!
greendragon
11-07-2003, 06:33 PM
like wearing your uniform to a halloween costume party.
shaolinarab
11-07-2003, 07:14 PM
Originally posted by greendragon
like wearing your uniform to a halloween costume party.
:o
trilobite
11-07-2003, 09:05 PM
...like consoling your sensei/southern baptist minister that your 9 year old shouldn't be doing push ups since they've only had 12 belt rank tests this year:(
(e.g.) "If Johnny damages a growth plate, we'll sue you for 450 dollars, or the equivalent of two months of class free."
...crying because it's already been 7 whole months and you're STILL not good enough to get your black belt *tear*:(
Kristoffer
11-08-2003, 04:49 AM
OOOS! to everything and everyone, and bow to everything and everyone. and shout alot when you do stuff, and have a menacing scowl while doing the most mundane tasks, like preparing dinner , as if you were preparing seppuke
OOOOOOOOS
David Jamieson
11-08-2003, 08:37 AM
yes, the karate pracs are big on "osu" all the time :D
karate guy #1 -"osu!" *bow
karate guy #2-"osu!" *bow
karate guy #1 -"today we break things"
karate guy #2 -"Hai! Osu!"
karate guy #1-"Hai hai"
karate guy #1-"see here how my hand is hard"
karate guy #2 -"hai!"
karate guy #1 -"so then, see how it breaks stuff"
karate guy #2 -"hai!"
karate guy #1 -*breaks a lamp
karate guy #2 - "Hai! Osu!"
karate guy #1-"Osu!"
karate guy #2-"Osu!"
and so on :D
neigung
11-08-2003, 07:27 PM
LMAO
Kristoffer
11-09-2003, 04:05 AM
lol
:D
imagine how sore your throat must be after all that shouting.
kraddy guy #1 - OOOS!!
Me - Oos this mufugga *introduce lethal chinese boxing skillz*
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