how do you build confidence?

[Dragon Fist]

Ive been learning kung fu for about 3 years and getting quite good ,I think.But when it comes to using it out side in defence i lose all my confidence.

[Sihing73]

Dragonfist,

Confidence is somehting to be gained by being exposed to the things you want confidence in. In other words if you want confidence that your techniques will work for real then you must GRADUALLY learn to apply them in increasingly difficult situations. Once you are comfortable with the basic application then you must start having your opponent resist and try to get past your application. Do this slowly and in a learning not competive manner. Look for the weaknesses in your application and then work to close those holes. Continue to keep working until you are able to apply your techniques full force against a resisting opponent. This is one step.

The other step is to use visualization to SEE yorself performing the techniques successfully. You should see yourself in many different situations and being able to complete the movement each and every time. Try to visualize situations of increasing difficulty but always win. Over time you will develope the confidence that your techniques will work.

Please, keep in mind this is a short answer. There are many facets involved. You must have both the physical techniques and understanding of the concepts which go along with those techniques. In addition you must have the mental assurance that what you are doing will work.

Good luck. You should speak to your Sihings and Sifu and follow any suggestions they have.

Peace,

Dave

[Gojira]

Sehing73,
That was probably the best worded post I have seen here on that subject.
A old school bow to you sir.

------------------
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here!

[thekuntawman]

sihing73 your answer ia very thoughtful and i agree all the way.

i would like to add to, that another way you can get confidence for using your art in self defense is to have many matches were you are nervous, because a true fighter is not just one that knows to punch and kick, but one who can handle being pressured heavy. mike tyson for example, a lot of people think that this man is a great fighter because he punches like a bull and he is mean. but i think he is a ***, because when he need that mean streak, it is not there for him--that is, when he is in the ring with someone who is just as mean, not scared at all and will fight him just as hard. "iron mike" panics when he is in trouble, and then he get knocked out. only when he is disqualified is he going to lose without being knocked out.

how i think this can help you is, just my experience tells me that you are nervous when it comes to fighting, so you should get a lot of practice doing it. start with a few sparring partners, then go to competition. maybe competition is not the street, but you can easily test how you handle different kinds of fighters, and how you handle your own nervouse feeling. that is why i make my students fight, because if i send them into the street not knowing what will work and feeling like they can really kick someone behind, then i failed them.

"it is better to 'know' what works instead of 'finding out' what doesnt"....abraham "Ham" johnson, boxing coach

[Dragon Fist]

Thank you for your replys.They have been a great help.thanx again.

Confidence....Meet a scorchingly hot girl and have sex with her. Thats sure to boost your confidence. Basically do something that is hard and succeed. Or just accept yourself the way you are. Better yet both.

Empty your heart of desire and you will be content; flow with the tao and you will wet your pants. Lao Tse

[totallyfrozen]

Alot of good stuff here!
I agree with Sehing73.
Very good post...nice, patient answer.
He is right...after you have gone through that process he has summarize, you will need to do some full speed sparring...and eventually some full contact sparring.
That is my belief.
Sehing73 said everything in that post that I wish I had said in my other posts. Instead I just keep saying, "full contact spar." Well, the truth is that a full contact spar comes later in the process. Jumping in a ring and getting your chimes rung isn't going to boost your confidence. It will make you feel worse.
He's right...build up to it.
But you will need to do it.

[totallyfrozen]

I think that I have been speaking out of turn in some of my posts. I was speaking without putting full thought into what I was saying.
I apologize and let me clarify.
I have said a few times that there is no subsitute for "full contact" sparring.

Please understand that I come from a Western Boxing background where a full contact spar won't (usually) get you killed. There are not kicks, pressure point stikes, etc. in American boxing.
My recommendation for full contact sparring was made without the consideration that there are some of you out there who can kick like a horse. A full contact spar with some of you guys would surely end up in someone's permanent disability or death.
I was thinking with Wester boxing on my brain and not Chinese boxing.

I would just like to clarify that with all of you...especially the ones who were asking questions about courage, etc.

Perhaps a medium contact sparring would suffice.

Anyway, I apologize for letting my fingers run before my brain.

I hope no one gets hurt on my account.

[This message has been edited by totallyfrozen (edited 08-09-2000).]