The KFO Confessional

[sticky fingers]

Friends, we are gathered here today to confess and repent our kung-fu sins. May we beg for forgiveness and pray that we shall not commit that sin again.

I shall begin

Forgive me (insert deity here), for I have sinned.
Tonight I chased arms instead of attacking my opponent's centre.
For my penance I shall nurse this nasty lump on my head.

Amen

[Water Dragon]

I got drunk last weekend and pee'd in my wife's underwear drawer.

Then I blamed it on my 2 year old.

I feel so dirty :(

[ShaolinTiger00]

While boxing last night I did a broken wing block and rolling leaf "jab"...

He just looked at me like I had sprouted antlers..

[Xebsball]

sometimes i wank in front of the mirror

[scotty1]

LOL!!!!

[rubthebuddha]

forgive me (god of hyooogeness), for i have sinned. i've been barely giving my legs attention during workouts, and then put them through scrappers 1 on sunday. for my pennance, i shall bear this ache that was dull when i used my quads yesterday but has sharpened today. i vow to train my legs more consistently in the future.

may i also express gratitude, that wing tsun and muay thai don't have low stances. at least this week they don't, and that's all that matters. :D

[Vash]

Forgive me, brothers, for I have sinned;

I have taken a year off to heal an injury.

I have urges to learn difficult kung fu sets from a video tape.

My ***** is HUGE.

In my training day, I more often worked sets and set sections without resisting partners.

I also did not attempt to give myself a hernia by exerting my breath during Sanchin.

Judge Pen has yet to get a video of his San Njie (tattle more than confession).

My weight training sometimes interefered with my technical workouts.

And again, my ***** is Ginormous,

[norther practitioner]

I don't spar enough
I don't train enough
I don't lift enough
I don't sweat enough
I get into too many fights
I can not find a sparring partner now that I have divulged my eye chi dim mak.

[Judge Pen]

Originally posted by Vash

Judge Pen has yet to get a video of his San Njie (tattle more than confession).



:D Don't you know not to go speaking out of school? When I broke up with my hot ex-finacee, she took the video camera, but when I can afford one, or meet someone else with a camera, I'll tape it and send you a copy. Patience Vash.

[Vash]

Originally posted by Judge Pen


:D Don't you know not to go speaking out of school? When I broke up with my hot ex-finacee, she took the video camera.

Wimmins is of the debil. Too bad they look so gosh-darn good.


but when I can afford one, or meet someone else with a camera, I'll tape it and send you a copy.

YAY!


Patience, Vash.

That is a virtue I sadly lack. Just check my underwear drawer.

[sticky fingers]

Originally posted by Xebsball
sometimes i wank in front of the mirror

Jesus says you should love yourself, but errrr not in the way you're describing...

[kwaichang kaned]

I laughed so hard at Xebs post....

A little bit of wee came out.

[Judge Pen]

Originally posted by sticky fingers


Jesus says you should love yourself, but errrr not in the way you're describing...

And this comes from a guy named sicky fingers?

[Ray Pina]

extended and got decked right in the face ripping my headgear off.

[SifuAbel]

My only sin is posting on the internet. Oops , I did it again. Darn it.

[PHILBERT]

Forgive me Father of Kung Fu, for I have sinned...

I have urges to take up Judo or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and just might.

[bodhitree]

I tried to practice taijiquan naked.


One time in highschool, My girlfriends parents came home and in the process of hiding in her closet I had to pee in the closet.

I enjoy peeing off of bridges.

I tried to learn chen taijiquan from a video.

I started in tae kwan do.


I talk dirty to dwarfs

Soy milk gives me gas.

[bodhitree]

the only friends i have are at kfm.com

[Vash]

I train Karate!

Forgiveness, Please!

[bodhitree]

better than tkd, i guess.;)

[Vash]

I GUESS :(

That's okay, though. Soon as I'm well enough to start on some bag work, then I'm gonna start studying Choy Lay Fut's Joi Baat Seen Kuen from a video tape . . . :eek: I figure that I should have the whole form in about a year, if I make sure to actually study each of the eight sections.

[bodhitree]

okay, I have a bigger sin


I enjoy modern wushu, oooooooohhhhhhh please forgive me.

[Vash]

Wushu suxors (like the XMA!). I like the San Shou (giggles hysterically). :eek:

[PHILBERT]

No, nothing sucks as bad as XMA. Not even adult film stars. Wushu is nothing like XMA, since it doesn't have all the screaming and screaming like XMA. Yeah. Other than that, well, that's pretty much it.

Oh and Wushu isn't some huge thing created by a Power Ranger to make money.

[MasterKiller]

Wushu athletes would take most of the people here just on their conditioning alone.

[Shaolinlueb]

i have a confession

i have urges to go into the kung fu school across down and break their sign over my knee and challenge them. because they have no respect for the art, take peoples money and passes them, their classes are usually in chaos, and teach very very bad kung fu, and yet they are popular in town.

i also dislike teaching classes all the time because it takes time out from my training.

i want a fine chick who does kung fu to be my gf.

[Vash]

I did not mean to impy that wushu suxored on the same level as XMA, because it is not possible for anthing to do that, the intent was that they suxors in the same fashion.

[PHILBERT]

Who here DOESN'T want a gf who does Kung Fu?

[Shaolinlueb]

Originally posted by PHILBERT
Who here DOESN'T want a gf who does Kung Fu?


maybe vash. he likes xma chicks. :o

[Vash]

Indeed. Know why? They get the scream out. :D

[Shaolinlueb]

Originally posted by Vash
Indeed. Know why? They get the scream out. :D

never thought about that.

but i have never seen a kung fu woman do "i want a kung fu guy" :(

[bodhitree]

good thread

I confess, i watched xma, pppppllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassseeeeeee forgive me.

I have been to tkd seminars ,ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh ,the devil was in me!

I used to think aikido was a good art, ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh I was misled by temptation.

I posted pics of nasty ho es on the kfm contest, lord have mercy.

I skip responsabilities to practice gongfu, well, thats not so bad?

[PHILBERT]

Duh, they could easily get a Kung Fu guy.

[neigung]

forgive me for i have sinned...

i haven't posted here in like 2 or 3 mos.
i have a hot girlfriend who knows kung fu.
we have teh sex0r.
a lot.
i was unsuccessful in using my kungfu to defend myself against a horde of chiggers intent on draining my blood and leaving a myriad of nasty red bites with overly large punctas on my legs.
i've been using dreamweaver in my html class because hand coding takes too friggin long.

[KWUsCRD]

Originally posted by bodhitree

I used to think aikido was a good art, ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh I was misled by temptation.

Excuse my ignorance, but whats wrong with aikido?

[Kristoffer]

I have sinned...
Havn't trained since before xmas due to the military service. I'm getting better at fire arms though and I'm plotting to put togheter a small guerilla and raid Denmark. Anyone want in?

[KWUsCRD]

I will work for swedish women.

[The Willow Sword]

Oh great Kung fu God i have sinned and confess that i once joined a bullsh!t kung fu organization and blindly put my loyalties to an organization that really could care less about dedication and integrity. For 6 years i wasted my energy ,,was taught many things but learned absolutely nothing.

i have sinned and i ask for forgiveness for i now have returned to my original roots and am now alot happier. i offer absolution to all who train at McDojos and get really nothing out of them.


piess deu dominayy dona ayess rekweeayy (SHMECK!)
piess deu dominayy dona ayess rekweeayy (SHMECK!)


Peace,,TWS

[quiet man]

Forgive me, O Spirits of the 5 Elders, for I have lost my job (not to mention my former employer still owes me my last salary) and therefore had to put an end to my wing chunning until who knows when.

That, and sometimes I stick my elbow out.
And I slouch a lot.

[Serpent]

Xebby rules!

:D

[Chinwoo-er]

Forgive me general Gwan for I have sinned...


I havn't trained properly for three months now (not even breaking a sweat) and my laziness is still holding on to me very firmly.

Save me General Gwan, save me !!!!

[black and blue]

I have given up Wing Chun to learn Xing Yi... and don't have the courage to go back on the Wing Chun board and tell them because they will ask me my lineage......and I'm not sure I know it!!!!!!

[sticky fingers]

Forgive me, O Great God of TMA, I have just joined a MMA club.
Not only that, but I think it's a bit of a McDojo.
Save me from eternal d amnation by traditionalists.

Oh, and I also covet my neighbour's girlfriend.

[bodhitree]

good thread sticky.

[Banjos_dad]

I tried to learn Feeding Crane from a tape, while learning karate. Is that a compound sin, or what.
I smoked non-tobacco and did Chi K'ung. At least I learned from a qualified instructor, in person (the Chi K'ung...)
I think it's funny when people **** loud when they're demonstrating taolu in front of the class.
I keep kicking hard spots with my toes & they turn into little purple balloon animals for weeks (the toes).
In the aforementioned karate class, for a little while, I gave kiais with every move like Sammo on martial law.
My first post on the forum is as long as Lord of the Rings.
Boddhidarma said my kung fu soul was black, like a hooker's raincoat, but that I am improving, gradually.

[bodhitree]

banjos

don't forget to mention you put a ' in kung;) :D

[Banjos_dad]

Oops. Now I am one apostrophe better than yesterday. See, gradual improvement. Also that's not the complete and entire list, I thought I better hold some back for the classic death-bed kung fu confession. I will admit I watched XMA sometimes too, but Ive gotta say, even as a karate guy (at the time) I felt kind of funny about it.
I've got to get to class now