It turns out!

[red5angel]

you don't need Atkins after all!

http://www.theonion.com/onion3531/gene_chips.html

[norther practitioner]

lol, that was funny...

[red5angel]

I'd like to show it to a few freinds of mine.....

[norther practitioner]

I'd show it to some of my friends, but they'd thing the picture of the chips is a coupon and rip it out before they realized it was a psuedo-article.

[red5angel]

LOL! Apparently we have similar types of freinds

[MasterKiller]

Appearantly, both of you guys hang around other martial artists.

[red5angel]

or fat guys who think atkins will save them from a life of over eating.

[norther practitioner]

Yeah, I've got some friends that just don't get it. They'll say they aren't too hungry, but buy a big thing of chips, sit on the couch for 7 hours and eat the whole bag (have a meal in there too) watch several movies, then try to talk sh!t when I say I'm exausted and don't want to go clubbing until 5 am (meanwhile I was out skiing/mountain biking/training).

[red5angel]

I know what you mean man. My largest freind is like that. I was having dinner with my two largest freinds, both between 300-370lbs, and they are talking about their atkins diet. One is talking about having a whole summer susage, a huge chunk of cheese and a slab of ham. Meanwhile the other guy orders a 21 ounce prime rib, wrapped in bacon and covered in cheese! I finally just told both of them to shut the fukk up.

[red5angel]

so I decided to experiment last night. I have actually seen freinds of mine eat whole or most of a bag of chips in one sitting. Some of you gamer types could probably sympathize with this. I too snack some while gaming but not to the extant some of my more rotund freinds do.
So I get home from kungfu class, and as usualy I'm starving. I usually grab a sandwich and some veggies since their easy. However we had a ton of snacks left over from this last weekends gaming session and I had my choice of mostly full or un-opened bags of chips laying around.
I decided that after half a sandwich I would tear open a bag of chips, sit down and watch some tube and eat chips until I couldn't eat anymore.
I grabbed a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, becauseI figured part of the epxeriment would be how long it would take to get rid of Cool Ranch Breath, or CRB.
The bag was opened but had only been picked at for the most part. I sat down, watched the super hour of Scrubs (funny show by the way) and ate my chips, washing it down with diet, that's right diet, sunkist soda.
For about 5 minutes I actually enjoyed it some, the salty and cheesy really hit my tongue, and it mixed well with the orange soda.
After I would say, almost half a bag, my tongue was burning a bit, I couldn't tell if it ws because of the rigid chip bits tearing at it or the spices, probably a combination of both. I tossed a few to my dogs because I figured if I was going to go out this way atleast the dogs could enjoy the show and snack too.
After about 2/3 rds of a bag I was starting to get full. A little after that I stopped tasting the chips. I can't explain it, the cheesy cool ranch taste just went away.
I eventually made it to the corner of the bag where a small handful or two of chips lay in wait for an assault on my tongue and stomach (also I imagine my rectum wasn't going to be thanking me in the morning - I was right, it burns.).
Anyway, I won't do that again, it wasn't enjoyable, and it didn't taste all that good. I like to think if I hadn't had that sandwich I could have finished the bag but I will never know.
So for all you fatties out there eating whole bags of chips - been there, done that, where's my fukking t-shirt?

[norther practitioner]

The fact that some people do it is one thing, but to go out and try to do it is a whole 'nother level.

I can eat about 65% of a bag though (not that I was trying).;)



Oh, and for the record, when I first clicked on this thread I thought it was going to read:

It turns out!

I am a complete tool!

[red5angel]

I am a complete tool!

I'll show you tool this fall!!!!!



hmmm, that didn't come out quite the way I wanted it too.....

[norther practitioner]

hmmm, that didn't come out quite the way I wanted it too.....

Why am I not surprised.









:D


Oh, and I really don't want to see tool... not usually one of my hightlights of the week, if you will.

[scotty1]

LOL @ this thread. :D

I thought it was going say:

It turns out, girls DO have pee pees, my new girlfriend says so, and she showed me!! Is this true? :(

[red5angel]

you'll want to see this tool NP, you've never seen anything like it.

[norther practitioner]

you'll want to see this tool NP, you've never seen anything like it.

Dude, now you're starting to creep me out...


do you have like fungus or something?

[red5angel]

nubs, speed control, attachments....

[norther practitioner]

Um, I wasn't going to respond, but I'm looking for something that will fill up your girl, what was the width?

[red5angel]

a little smaller then yours ;)

[norther practitioner]

OK, I can either drop it, or get more vile than gda.. so lets drop it..



ya know the old saying...









how does that go again









lets get off of moms 'cause I just got off of yours.

[SevenStar]

Originally posted by norther practitioner
The fact that some people do it is one thing, but to go out and try to do it is a whole 'nother level.

I can eat about 65% of a bag though (not that I was trying).;)



Oh, and for the record, when I first clicked on this thread I thought it was going to read:

It turns out!

I am a complete tool!

I can finish a whole bag and then some with no prob. But then I can also kill 2 large pizzas, so...

I odn't do either on a regular basis, but have tested myself and know that I can.

[red5angel]

I've been known to eat a largish meal from time to time but I more often then not show restraint, that's why I've decided to live like my fat freinds for a few days.

I tried eating as many oreo cookies as possible last night. It was an interesting experience, especially since I read an article not too long ago claiming oreo cookies were essentially the WORST possible food on the face of the planet because it contains copius amounts of all the bad fats, sugars and everything else that will kill you quicker then sticking your tongue in a light socket.
The bag had about 4 cookies missing from it. I love oreo cookies, especially double stuff (these were regular) but because they are so bad for you, I had tucked these away for another night of gaming. Instead I decided to gorge myself in one evening on as many as I could stuff in my face.
The experience was alltogether much like trying to eat the bag of CRD's. Initially I was in oreo heaven, they were good, real good. Eventually the cookie part starting getting stuck in my teeth in large clumps, and my tongue started to go numb. Yes thats tright those lovely little sweet sandwiches of fat delite were making my starting to swell tongue go numb. I decided to spare my dogs the taste and let them sit before me licking their chops as I stuffed my face with instant cookie death.
After 1 row my tongue was almost completely numb, although I could still taste slightly. The white creamy taste had faded, it seems the dark cookie matter tends to take over when ingesting large amounts of oreos. At some point I think the white stuff was just evaporating or defying gravity by not touching my tongue on its way down. Of course a good explanation for why I stopped tasting the white stuff and why my tongue seemed numb could have been because there was so much black cookie mass on my tongue, I couldn't have tasted hydrochloric acid, not for long anyways.
Halfway through the second row I started to break out in cold sweats, I was getting scared. I don't know if it was just the affect of all that sugary goodness or the fact that I felt like if I had to eat onemore of those ****ed cookies I was going to tear my shirt off, or atleast take it off violently, and run around the neighborhood screaming, beating my chest and pummeling anything that got within arms reach. I still have a nervous tic, and there is a ghost like taste of that crusty dark matter that passes for cookie in my mouth. I'm afraid that maybe my mother should have told me when I was younger that if you ate too many cookies in one sitting, your tongue would get "stuck" tasting them forever, much like your face would freeze if you persisted in tormenting your siblings with your facial contortions.
Needless to say I stopped 3 cookies short of the second row.

[MasterKiller]

My brother used to dissolve a whole row of oreos into a glass of milk, and then eat it with a spoon.

He also used to cook a pound of bacon every day after school, cover it in maple syrup, and eat the whole thing while watching TV.

[red5angel]

is your brother still alive?


Tonight I am going to try drinking a gallon of Apple Juice, the natuyral kind with all the gritty stuff at the bottom, and an entire family sized bag of pizza bites.

I can confess to having eaten an entire bag of tater tots from time to time. I don't know what it is but those little cylinders of tatery goodness just call to me.

[MasterKiller]

He's walking around and hogging oxygen, but I don't know if I would go so far as to say he's still alive....

I used to be able to pack away food like that. I could eat a large pizza and not blink, but when I turned 25, my metabolism changed and I started working behind a computer (dangerous combination), and I got fat quick. Once I lost the weight, I vowed to never over eat again.

I don't drink alcohol, and I don't eat pork or red meat. Once every 2 weeks, I allow myself a chocolate milkshake from Braums.

[bung bo]

MK, that is one of the most disgusting things i've ever heard (the stuff about your brother).

so tell me if i'm right about this--your body's main source of energy it gets is from glucose. a lot of it is found in complex carbs and fruit (which atkins says you can't eat either). when your body needs this energy and doesn't have any of the glucose, it starts burning fat which produces ketones and makes your body very acidic. my knowledge on this is a bit limited.

[red5angel]

that's mostly true bung bo. The essentialy problem with Atkins diet is it's wrong and it attacks the wrong problem. See, people in general, especially here in the US, DO eat too many carbs, they also eat too much meat, too much sweets and too much junk food. RIght now atkins is like the low fat craze of the 80's, it's a "magic bullet" for those people who are too lazy to eat right and get some exercise. Now they can swallow whole stakes soaked in butter,covered in cheese and wrapped in bacon and it's ok.
Fortunately the truth is starting to come out and the Atkins people are backpedalling some, admitting that a good healthy diet involves plenty of fish, and chicken, and vegetables. Unfortunately they're still missing the point but hey, the faster these fat people die the quicker I get more breathing room.

[David Jamieson]

Atkins is as big a crock as the rest of them. Preying on the desperation of obese people who badly want to get thin but just don't understand the simplicity of being healthy.

1) eat moderately and don't binge eat

2) exercise regularly

3) don't eat at any fast food restaurants at all they are all death merchants and don't have any real healthy choices for you.


Your diet needs to be balanced and you shouldn't eat the same thing over and over again because your mouth rules your taste.

You need to exercise every day without missing a single day.
exercise can be something as simple and pleasant as taking a walk.

Eat a variety of foods and exercise daily and you won't be overweight, it is that simple.

That is all.

[Vash]

Indeed.

[bung bo]

man, i'm glad to hear that there are others that think atkins is a big crock of sh1t, too. my mom is falling into this trap. she has friends that tell her it's the only thing that's worked for them. just as kung lek said: eat healthy, exercise (which most of these people don't do), and NO fast food EVER. these same people break their diets all the time. she buys all these low-carb snacks that are pricey. why not just not eat high-carb foods if you're going to go that route and save some money? personally, i eat a lot of carbs (mostly in pasta) to keep my energy up. but i also am a pretty active person too.

sorry about the rant, but all this atkins BS p1sses me off a lot.

[Vash]

Indeed. Unless a body has some serious nutrient deficits, a balanced diet is all that's needed.

As for carbs, I'd say no less than 40% of your caloric intake should be from them. I try to keep mine at about 45%, that way I can also get a decent amount of fruits/vegetables, and some protein.

[backbreaker]

I mainly eat according to Fit for Life. I have found it to be very good. I have also not eaten meat in over a year and a half, and it is good not bad thing to stop eating. I can no longer stand the stench of meat that I used to love. My sister has never eaten meat in her life. I am stopping milk also, but it is harder because of cheese, ice cream, chocalate. Perhaps Fit for Life explains Atkins. Some cultures though , like Inuit/Eskimos probably eat alot of blubber and fat. Just don't go back to the old ways of eating after doing Fit for Life or you'll get bad heartburn; the day I went back to the old ways after Fit for Life I puked acid.

http://www.vita-connection.com/vc32.htm

[norther practitioner]

Isn't Atkin's diet disenteric when you first go on it?

[red5angel]

probably NP. I learned something interesting not too long ago from a doctor doing a some sort of study on colon cancer as well. Alot of high carb culture, plenty of veggies and rice and all that tend to have really low instances of colon cancer. High meat diets, especially in the US tend ot have frighteningly higher occurances of it.
So essentially, not only are you hardening your arteries on Atkins faster but you get to get a$$ cancer as well! weeeeeeee!!!!