NHB guy vs. Gorilla

[IronFist]

This was mentioned (as a joke) on another forum.

Ok, you have Gorillas. Gorillas are like 350lbs, strong as a freaking mofo, and pretty agile. They eat plants and some bugs and bananas all day and yet get way stronger than us with our steaks and protein shakes. They also live to be like 50.

Anyway, so some guy was like "what if you took a gorilla vs. a champion nhb fighter?" lol. Here's what I said:

"Well, as for striking, if the Gorilla got one or two hits in I think it would be over. Plus, if the Gorilla weighs 350lbs, he's probably going to able to take a lot of damange. And he's probably really thick so grappling would be really hard. I think this is a case where technique would not overcome the huge strength gap. Could you imagine trying to control a Gorilla's arms while he's in your guard? That being said, a Gorilla probably wouldn't be expecting any low kicks or anything, so the NHB guy might be able to surprise him with something like that. Now, if there's any trees in the ring, the Gorilla would have the advantage. And, since the NHB guy has had years to train, does the Gorilla get years to train before the match, too? lol."

In almost all cases I think the match would go to the Gorilla.

What do you think?

[WanderingMonk]

First, it depends on what type of Donkey Kong we are talking about, Alpha or beta male.

Alpha male goes through quite a training process, it grows up in the "mean street" of African jungle, fighting other gorilla for dominance.

It got skillz and judging from what happen in the Texas zoo when one of those gorilla (a relatively domesticated gorilla) broke out two weeks ago, I sent my condolence to the nhb fighter who is going to get trounced.

Pluse it knows gorilla style and we all know how powerful gorilla style is. now, we only need to get it on video clip to convince the rest of the masses.

[DragonzRage]

Let's say the gorilla in question is donkey kong. In this case, a well trained MMA fighter with the agility, speed, and endurance necessary to climb ladders fast and jump over multiple barrells should have a good chance.

If the gorilla in question is King Kong, then you would have to get some great MMA coaches to train Godzilla as the MMA representative. I would focus Godzilla's training in muay thai skills (he can throw a helluva thai kick with that tail of his), takedown defense and a good guard. King Kong looks like a ground and pound type fighter, so these skills would be a good counter to his style.

If its a normal wild gorilla, I don't know about the fight, but we'd have to get the animal planet guy as commentator. His analysis of animal fighting techniques is always topnotch.

[Liokault]

I think that even a chimp or male baboon would take out any single human on the planet, let alone a gorilla.

[Ford Prefect]

Gorilla or chimp by death pummel 2:01 Rd1

Baboon be teeth gouge 1:07 Rd 1

[Kristoffer]

A gorilla wouldn't stand there and box with you, it would rush in close, baring it's teeth, screaming and grab you. Grabbing, pushing and biting is it's favored techniques. Regardless of if it's a alpha or beta etc it's still a ****ing ape and apes are strong as hell. A chimpanzee is atleast 200 % stronger than your average strong guy so you could imagine how strong that big ass gorilla is.
I do however beleive there is a way to beat it. Maybe if your lucky you might get a big power punch right on the apes nose while he's rushing you and he'll get scared, leaving him open to a follow up cross. (I'm talkin Tyson punches here)

If the fight goes to the ground you should always aim a kick at those ape nuts.

[norther practitioner]

I fought an ape once.... hold on, no, nevermind, he was just really hairy.

[MasterKiller]

Next time, ask Red5 to shave his bizalls.

[jun_erh]

they had a special on fox a while ago about man vs animals. They had a sumo guy doing a tug of war with an orangatan or something. a sprinter racing a gazelle and a giraffe. then they had that japanese kid who wins all the eating contests go against a bear. They had to eat 50 hot dogs. the bear won, but it was an epic battle

[IronFist]

^ I totally forgot to watch. Who won the other ones?

[jun_erh]

I think the guy beat the giraffe, but the animals won the other ones. The orangatan was really strong. It was funny because the japanese kid gave the bear all the props "I would like to challenge him again"

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

a chimp can rip your arm straight out of it's socket .... i don't think there would even be a contest with a gorrilla. not without at least a stick and preferably a gun.

[Mr Punch]

Lol, there's no way I'd attack a gorilla with a ****ing stick! It would just pull it out of your hand and beat you with it... no hang on, at least it would divert it from pulling off your arm and beating you with that, or just pulling off your head!!!
:(
:eek:
:D
:cool:

[joedoe]

Originally posted by Mat
Lol, there's no way I'd attack a gorilla with a ****ing stick! It would just pull it out of your hand and beat you with it... no hang on, at least it would divert it from pulling off your arm and beating you with that, or just pulling off your head!!!
:(
:eek:
:D
:cool:

I would use a stick - a big hollow stick with a firing chamber at one end. Some people call it a cannon, but that's just semantics :D

[cerebus]

Against a 350 lb gorilla?! :eek: Not a man alive could do it unarmed. I wouldn't even want to watch it, it would be too freakin horrible seein' a guy get mangled that bad! Bleah!

[Unmatchable]

this guy would win:

http://www.systemauk.com/images/bookd.jpg

[rubthebuddha]

Originally posted by Unmatchable
this guy would win:

http://www.systemauk.com/images/bookd.jpg so you're pulling for the gorilla, too? :confused:

[IronFist]

Who is that guy?

I can make my neck tendons pop out like that, too :)

[cerebus]

AND he's pizzed 'cause they shaved his torso and put pants on him! YOU fight 'im! :D :D :D

[scotty1]

Lenny Mclean. The Guv'nor. :)

[rubthebuddha]

wow. i just shook hands with him 20 minutes ago and didn't even recognize him. :o

[FatherDog]

http://sherdog.com/fightfinder/pictures/FC_Match6.jpg

[Unmatchable]

Originally posted by rubthebuddha
wow. i just shook hands with him 20 minutes ago and didn't even recognize him. :o

what are you talking about? He's dead.

[SifuAbel]

He'd win the ugly contest. thats for sure.

[IronFist]

Originally posted by FatherDog
http://sherdog.com/fightfinder/pictures/FC_Match6.jpg

Cool pic, but what's the relevence?

[KWUsCRD]

Originally posted by scotty1
Lenny Mclean. The Guv'nor. :)

This is exactly who I first thought of, and currently without me getting into specifics or details (such as boxing styles etc.) about which would be the most effective tool against pure unadulterated forced to fight unbridaled adrenaline enhanced animalistic behavior, The Guv'nor is presently the only man I believe would had even a remote chance of smashing on a guerilla.

[Kristoffer]

C'mon, Come oooon think about it! One punch, reallllly hard in the face
It would work I swear

[Unmatchable]

what if the ape punches you first? And they have longer arms. SPeaking of which would it be possibly to teach an ape boxing?

[kwaichang kaned]

One man who would kick some ape @ss

Charlton Heston

And possibly to a lesser degree Marc Walberg

[Ish]

I think the ape would kick ass against a couple of guys at once, they're just too **** strong and fast.

I'd quite like to see a large bear vs an ape tho it might be a bit more even.

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by IronFist


Cool pic, but what's the relevence?

The guy getting armbarred, Kevin Randleman, is nicknamed "Donkey Kong" in Japan.

[IronFist]

Originally posted by Unmatchable
SPeaking of which would it be possibly to teach an ape boxing?

[norther practitioner]

Apes already know tongbei chuan...

Hey, yeah, so here, an ape does traditional... and we're saying it would own all... so apes prove that tma work.

[Unmatchable]

I thought a bird (white crane) defeated the gorilla by poking it in the eye? I guess if you know white crane style and eye poking you can beat a guerilla.

[Chinwoo-er]

I am actually surprised no body asked this question

Are we talking weight group here ?

250lb guy vs 350lb gorilla ? Honestly, that isn't much of a fight. Similarly, 250lb man vs 50lb monkey isn't a real contest either.

[Vash]

The monkey would tool the fat man.

[stubbs]

lol, i did a search on lenny mclean and came across this pic:

http://www.geocities.com/slthomas316/5el8.jpg


i'd caption it with "timmy!!"
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[stubbs]

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[Unmatchable]

Originally posted by FatherDog


The guy getting armbarred, Kevin Randleman, is nicknamed "Donkey Kong" in Japan.

I thought Bob Sapp was nicknamed Donkey Kong?

[Oso]

Originally posted by jun_erh
the bear won, but it was an epic battle


well...duh...;)

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by Unmatchable


I thought Bob Sapp was nicknamed Donkey Kong?

No, he's "The Beast".

[Kristoffer]

What if you gave the ape a gun?

[Ish]

its fat monkey fingers wouldn't be able to use it too well or it might just end up shooting itself