im like this -> <- close to making sex to a female woman

[Xebsball]

today in class this hot blonde chick comes close to me as she is picking up her stuff to leave and she goes:
"Hey Marcos, what time is it?" :)

I go:
"Its 3:30" :cool:

:eek:


freakin awesome :D



and this was the SECOND time she wildly wants to make sex to me
another time me and bunch of people were coming back from lunch together and she asks me:
"Do you always talk much like this...
And while im answering:
"Yeah..."
She goes on:
"... like... talk so much we can barely stand it?"
Then i finally go:
"Always."

see, you can tell she love me long time
and although she is almost married to her boyfriend, lives with him, they both have cars and i dont have a car and she is really really hot -> she cant control her animal sex drive towards me :cool:

this other brunette chick with blue eyes is starting to fall for me too

we were at class today
and i think she turned to my side and looked at me TWO times today

[Odin of Wei]

WOWOWOWOWOWOW

I need tips from you!

:p

[Mika]

:D :D :D

You kewl, man :cool:

/worship/

//mika

[rubthebuddha]

i don't know whether i should delete this thread, or stickify it. :confused:

[old jong]

O.K. I can understand since there are "male women" everywhere now!...;)

[Kristoffer]

kick

ass

[mickey]

"this hot blonde chick comes close to me"

You missed it guy! She just got hers. Next time tell her you take Mastercard or Visa.

So what if it was non-invasive?

mickey

[IronFist]

A "female woman?"

That's the best kind!

Careful of those non-female women.

[joedoe]

Just make sure you are gentle with them Xebby, and make it clear to them that no means no. :D

[SevenStar]

Originally posted by rubthebuddha
i don't know whether i should delete this thread, or stickify it. :confused:

I thought the same thing. Considering this IS the closest xebby has ever come, I think it deserves to be sticky.

[CaptinPickAxe]

i don't know whether i should delete this thread, or stickify it.

It should be engraved in stone for future generations to look back upon. "The day Xebby had interaction with the opposite sex"

:D

[rubthebuddha]

star trek had a movie about this one time -- i think it was called "first contact." :confused:

[rogue]

Considering this IS the closest xebby has ever come, I think it deserves to be sticky.

The words xebby, come and sticky should never be so close together.

[YinYangDagger]

I was just wondering if he's TRYING to be this moronic, or does it come natural?

[Indestructible]

I suspect that Xebby is infact, the infamous bloodninja...

http://henryip.com/Home/bloodninja.htm

[rubthebuddha]

he's saying this for our benefit. he knows we like him and revel in his company. we also support him in his quest to one day make sex to a female woman. so it's a win-win situation.

[Toby]

Originally posted by Indestructible
I suspect that Xebby is infact, the infamous bloodninja...

http://henryip.com/Home/bloodninja.htm I love that stuff. The rhinocerus one is a focking classic.

[Starchaser107]

go xebs!
tap dat ass

[Unmatchable]

Ive never got that close.

[Meat Shake]

All shall grovel in your superiority.

[norther practitioner]

She likes you bro, get in there and get some.

[SevenStar]

"Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. "

LMAO!!!!!

[Watahhh]

http://henryip.com/Home/bloodninja.htm

I have never laughed so much in my life. it brings perspective to the term lol.

'Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. '

[blooming lotus]

ok...very freakin amusing, but I have just met one serious honey.....got it on but but didn't commit..I tink if you're serious about about gongfu and qi ...you gotta make sacfices...there are alot of seriously hot people in the world espescially the world of ma..you just gotta know when to detatch...mission yes.,..difficult ,.....no...gongfu or sex-pot...choice is yours ;)

[mysteri]

and don't forget the golden rule of rejection xebby: "no!" jus means "try harder."

[CaptinPickAxe]

Dude, I have enough time to train and tend to the ladies. I don't think that anyone should have to choose between sex and...well, anything. It goes against human nature. That and if I don't have a regular "release" (if you will) then I become a very irritable CaptinPickAxe.

No body want to see an irritable CPA, now do they....didn't think so.:D

[Toby]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
Dude ...BL's not a dude. I'm on your side, CPA. Going without sex is not normal. Especially by choice ;).

[CaptinPickAxe]

Thats why the Catholic Priests wig out and molest kids...They just don't get thier rocks off enough.

BL's a chick, this I know. That also explains why she can abstain from sex without becoming a raging *******. She doesn't have the sex drive of a 20 year old male. The age where regular intercourse is nessacary for the survival of your community. I turn into the hulk if I don't have sex within a month. But a Blue Hulk, due to the blue balls.

[dodger87]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY CRAP that bloodninja was some of the funniest crap i've ever read. I love those kind of stuff, but www.somethingawful.com haven't updated their icq pranks in ages. If you have anymore of that kind of stuff i would really appreciate it.

[Odin of Wei]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe


It should be engraved in stone for future generations to look back upon. "The day Xebby had interaction with the opposite sex"

:D
You mean he's done this before?

[Kristoffer]

:rolleyes:

[blooming lotus]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
Thats why the Catholic Priests wig out and molest kids...They just don't get thier rocks off enough.

BL's a chick, this I know. That also explains why she can abstain from sex without becoming a raging *******. She doesn't have the sex drive of a 20 year old male. The age where regular intercourse is nessacary for the survival of your community. I turn into the hulk if I don't have sex within a month. But a Blue Hulk, due to the blue balls.

fair enough...but you don't hear of Buddhist monks turn rapist/paedophile....and what about the boys there in training...all goodlooking attractive folks....with 15 - 18 yr old raging hormones....any exscuse is a good exuces ha??...lol...I'm not going to tell anyone whether or not they should have sex , but for now I 'll just go ahead and assume ( yes..I said assume)...that your iron body isn't so great right now.......;) :D

[Xebsball]

hwy everyobodys
im half drunk

cos my buddy and me decided not to party cos its raining and all stuff
so i stayed home with some beer ok

that hot chick on the day before friday (i always forget how its called in english) we had class and the teacher was showing some details of the auditory system (audital... hearing... sound... sound system... the EARS) to us on like this dogs head and this cows head and the hot chick came to stand just next to me though she could have picked other spots to see the whole thing
i think she loves me
our relashionship is developing very fast

[Shaolinlueb]

wow. sounds like you got a real romance brewing xebs:D

[Toby]

Originally posted by blooming lotus
...but you don't hear of Buddhist monks turn rapist/paedophile...
You didn't hear of Catholic priests doing it a few years ago either. ;) All hushed up.

Originally posted by blooming lotus
I 'll just go ahead and assume ( yes..I said assume)...that your iron body isn't so great right now.......;) :D Well, when the right parts are iron, you've gotta use them ;).

[CaptinPickAxe]

Go ahead and assume (yes, assume) all you want about my iron body. As long as I can please the ladies with my iron c:eek: ck

:D

For real though. In all honesty getting mines comes before Kung Fu. My priorities are this:

1.Sex/Sleeping/Eating
2.Music/Kung Fu/Work
3. everything else

Also, I'm sure my pot smoking isn't helping my qi as well, but you don't see me laying on spears and dragging stuff with my schlong. As long as I don't have any misconceptions as to what I can do, my habits/ways can live a little longer.

[Mediocrity]

You said.... Making Sex... o.O

[Chang Style Novice]

Xebby - after your next class together, recite this magical incantation to the hottie of your dreams.

"So, you want to get lunch together tomorrow?"

Let me know how it works.

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by blooming lotus


fair enough...but you don't hear of Buddhist monks turn rapist/paedophile....a

Actually, you frequently do - there's been quite a few scandals about it, many predating the current scandals in the Catholic church.

[blooming lotus]

:eek: :eek: ...budwai!!...that it is not so??? for real...do you have links to any stories on that?

[CaptinPickAxe]

It wouldn't surprise me. I'm sure theres a few bad apples in high places in every religion. Insanity isn't bound by race, religion, or creed. Its a human condition.

[Shaolinlueb]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
It wouldn't surprise me. I'm sure theres a few bad apples in high places in every religion. Insanity isn't bound by race, religion, or creed. Its a human condition.


thank god for medicaiton though :D.... happy medication :D

[blooming lotus]

thats crazy...but If you have any, i'd still like the links though

[Kristoffer]

He will post the links when he got the time for it, and since he's really busy most of the day he can't make up the time to post those links. Seriously, he has the time to train like 10 h a day AND post alotta posts here but he has no time in hell to post those links, what are you, crazy?

[Xebsball]

yo Chang, man thanx for the knowledge of magic shared to my person :)
but i doubt her soon to be husband (literaly, theyll marry this year) would dig it, maybe i should invite him too? :D
maybe she wouldnt dig too, i dunno. i just know shes hot and smiles a lot. we got scheduled us plus some more 4 people (inluding her super hot brunette friend that also got boyfriend) gonna do some work on a chicken for osteology and blah blah
so whats this about xebby?
well im on major hangover today oh boy i am
me and my buddy went out, and went from place to place walking in the night. we even visited a small hoes-house on our way, asked the price of the beer, checked out the chicks, left
we pretty much agreed to goto a hoes-house soon, maybe next week
this dude informed me how evertyhing works on this dammned city
crazy, we could get robbed and focked over hanging out on the streets drunk like that
thats why i like this dude, hes focking crazy like me like he dont care you known

anyway, last place we went ot called Psico... something, small place with groovy music yo
my partner got a chick over there, i left at like almost 6 whatever
word to the man, he really got social skills for the ladies and whatnot whatever else

my head hurts, i been woken up today (its mothers day here today btw you know) by my cell
it said it was a call from my buddys home
so i went HEY YOOOOOOOOOOO
but it was his dad, LOL LOL :D
he said he aint came home yet
and his mom is worried

now i remember, the man told me that chick lived alone
she lived ALONE
oh yeah he probably is at hers now
i surely do hope
i dont want my best bros getting screwed in da night

if i recover fast dtoday i might even seen the great movie about Che Guevaras travel on south america with his friend on a motorcycle
http://www.motorcyclediaries.net/
its supposed to be great, brazilian director, mexican actors, in spanish
i also wannna see kill bill 1 agan, we'll see yo
peace

[dodger87]

Well i wouldn't blame the monks if they were perverted. I mean they have to live their whole life without sex and they can't have physical contact with a woman.

[Chang Style Novice]

This girl's got a sister. Or cousins. Or girlfriends.

She likes you, but she's engaged. No problem.

She WILL be talking about how that to her single friends, there is no doubt.

So, your new magical incantation is "Hey, is your (friend/sister/cousin) seeing anyone?"

[Odin of Wei]

Originally posted by Chang Style Novice
This girl's got a sister. Or cousins. Or girlfriends.

She likes you, but she's engaged. No problem.

She WILL be talking about how that to her single friends, there is no doubt.

So, your new magical incantation is "Hey, is your (friend/sister/cousin) seeing anyone?"
Being engaged is not being married. :D

[Xebsball]

Chang, thas a good idea
i gotta admit
i oughta plan and
i oughta try


today?
please lord of decay, lead xebby in the ending of this quest of destruction that has been going for almost 3 weeks
since i came back from bad bad sickness
i havent worked out
i ate like an animal
i drank lots
tomorrow i start working out and watching my diet again
and power up again
i might have lost 2lbs on the sickness, probably put some 4-6lbs this weeks now
BUT WAIT THERES MORE
today decay aint over, what do i now?
eat crappy fatty fatty fatty MCCANCER BURGER and fries and all, at the mall, and i gotta fix my cell phone over there too cos its screwed
but as i was saying, to complete the decay - mcdonalds
in the name of one of the best parties ever in my life - a time last year when after party we got in a 24 hour mcdonalds at like 4am all drunk crazy guys - i never laughed so much, reminded me of when i was 15... yesterday reminded me of 15 too - maybe my best times with my friends

peace

[FatherDog]

Originally posted by blooming lotus
:eek: :eek: ...budwai!!...that it is not so??? for real...do you have links to any stories on that?

http://www.trimondi.de/EN/deba01.html

http://www.american-buddha.com/echoes.nalinika.htm

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/archives/2000/01/22/0000021071

http://www.american-buddha.com/bulletin_board/viewtopic.php?t=444&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight

http://quickstart.clari.net/qs_se/webnews/wed/bn/Qsrilanka-children-abuse.RHUz_DO8.html

http://www.american-buddha.com/pedophile.monks.htm

[Tiger_Yin]

long live marcos madness :D

[blooming lotus]

FD

fair enough...cheers

[Xebsball]

i perform evil pagan rituals that involve posing next to crosses accidently >:D

[Toby]

Is that you Xebby? If so, I'm surprised you have trouble with the ladies. You're not the ugly behemoth I thought you were anyway :D.

[joedoe]

Ooooooooo. Toby loves xebby.

Toby and Xebby sitting in a tree ... :D

[Toby]

:o :o

Not that there's anything wrong with that ...

But seriously, I did have a completely different mental picture of him. Like the Baron Harkonnen from the Dune movie with Kyle McLachlan and Sting :D.

[rubthebuddha]

xebby's got more of that duncan idaho thing going on.

[Starchaser107]

xebs is the rockstar of kfm.

[rubthebuddha]

so, as a rock star, does that mean that xebs gotta become ugly to nail hot chicks? just think of it:

1. steven tyler
2. axl rose
3. infamous f.a.t.
4. mick jagger (this ugliness works on getting david bowie in the sack, too)
5. meatloaf (well, at least one of his wives)

the list goes on ...

[Xebsball]

Lenny Kravitz has a piercing on his peepee

(Note how im pizzed, i had written all all all this stuff and then bang i deleted all by accident before posting. So this is the second version and im outa patience, so it might not be as good as the first version)
(i doubt youll read it all, but i doubt even more you will understand haha)

Ok, a tale, a story like many others... from outer space


The Great Tale Of The Tripple Trinity Fail In Three Easy Steps To Follow
(only the names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Vol 1. Intro
This is the tale of a dude, lets call him... hmm... Xebulon. Yes, Xebulon.

Vol 1.

Xebulon is a young man who went to this party. He was at the party when his female friends arrived. The J chick brought her sister with her: "Hey Xebulon, this be K, my sista". And so the party went on and on - beer - whiskey - loud music - people talking a lot of crap.
At some mysterious point of the party, K notices Xebulon aint talking much (she oughta know hes not a talker, how could J possibly not warn her of this dreadful personality detail?). K makes a funny heart shaped sign towards Xebulon and tries to communicate using signs. Signs of "get over here" and some others he couldnt figure out. Xebulon is left in a void of wondering with his drunkness, the darkness of the place, and loud beating sounds on his head if - was she mocking him or some?
Buddy H tries to help: "What she is saying is Do you wanna make out with me?"
K makes a face like -Wow, dont lay it on his face lika that you silly- type of face.
Xebulon is still at wonder with some of his working brain cells fighting the non-working ones and comes to a conclusion: "Nah,
she probably mocking, wtf would she want anyway, wtf, people mock all the time, this female does to, mocking my basic personality"
So Xebulon pays no mind and focus on something else whatever.
In about maybe 139 seconds later he thinkgs again: "Hey, what if maybe... oh no dude man oh no what have i done".
Ok, some maybe half an hour later Xebulon is sick, goes to the bathroom, comes back, says "I gotta go", goes, throws up on his way home.

Vol 2. Intro
Some days later, back at uni. There be Xebulon and his females friends. J makes a comment like: "You got no idea, my sista loved Xebulon style, he said like He so classy"
Xebulon thinks: "**** me Jesus"
Through out the week there was rumor floating an old good buddy named O had gone single and was looking for party.

Vol 2.
It was another lonely friday night. Checking out some funny Monkey Island **** on the internet (that he never found again btw) was Xebulons activity. After that he planned looking a few pr0n sites while still listening to great awesome music since he has an awesome music taste.
When he hears his cell calling him. Its O, this buddy long time no speak to offers a party. We settle - party we will go, in 30 minutes whatever. Site of the Monkey Island stuff is closed (and forgotten still today since he cant remember the adress). Xebulon bathes, puts on clothes, gets a cab. Meets buddy at party, having fun with buddy and all. While inside buddy walks around, comes back says: "Hey yo J's sister is here with her friends, you know J's sister"
"Yeah dude..."
"J's sita is hot dude"
"Yeah man..."
"They be there on the other side, on the other bar thang, lets go there later"
"Aight"
We chilled, we drank, whatever. When we went to look for em with found em not. We found em nowhere.
Truly there was great music playing that night, good stuff.
Buddy atempted aproaching many chicks, some time he aparently did it.
Party over, we all gone.
Back at uni during the week, J goes: "Hey i was wondering, Xebulon, when you and O were at the thang, did O tell you my sista was there?"
"Yeah..." - Xebulons answer was interupted by whatever, he was going to said "but we didnt find em anymore then"
Xebulon and his live brain cells think... "Hmm... well, MAYBE if we found her... like... but does this means that she'd like to... hmm... we on our coofee break, wheres my **** protein bar?"

Vol 3. Intro
All being planned for the Y chicks birthday. J asked more than one time that week: "So Xebulon, you gonna be really really thirsty at the party heh :D" - we both be drinkers, we speak that language.
Xebulon goes: "LOL, yeah"
It was word on the streets K (J's sista) was to goto the party too. Make Xebulon thinkg "Oh yeah, cool, kick ass, what if, but then..."

Vol 3.
It is Y's birthday party. J is there with her boyfriend, K aint there. Xebulon thinks: "Well, ok, buddies + beer, its still fun"
Later some point at the party theres music playing chicks all dancing like, we drunk mofos dude sitting drinking talking a lot of ****. Y aproaches Xebulon by the side: "Hey J says she wanna dance with you"
"But i dunno how to dance..."
- Its true, i only dance when im really drunk and i dunno any "couples" type dance stuff. I only shake like a paranoid junkie -
In less than 5 seconds J aproaches: "Xebulon come dance with me"
"But i dunno how to dance"
"Me too"
"...."
Buddy H intervers again (lol wtf): "Go ahead Xebulon, ill distract N (J's boyfriend)"
Xebulon is still: "..." and then "ok, lemme finish this -points at the beer- then..."
J: "Aaaah" - leaves - "Now i gotta dance with -this-" going towards her boyfriend.
"Lets dance N"
He goes: "Nah"
Some another buddy o mine who is crazy (all them are, or else why they hang out with me?) screams at J's atempts: "HUMBLED - TWICE INA ROW!"
She turns her back and goes talk with her friends or dance on her on or whatever it was.
Xebulon is left to thought: "Did i offend her or some... cos i didnt mean to... and... her boy is right over there and... daym"
Xebulon havent seen her since that party since she didnt show up at todays boring class (wich is usual, this class is very skippable)

The End

[joedoe]

And you wonder why you are still a virgin Xebby!

[Serpent]

Xebby, if I lived near enough to you I'd come around to your place and smack you upside the head.

[T'ai Ji Monkey]

You guys been fooled all along by xebby.

First of all he is NOT a virgin, but a shemale prostitute that works part-time in a strip-joint.
:D

[fa_jing]

Here's another piece of advice, which you are sure to ignore as always. Because you are thick headed and you don't listen.

Wear the suit. Chicks dig a guy in a suit.

[blooming lotus]

this is true......as long as it's not my suit..it's all good ;) :p

[Vash]

Xebby, I've got a piece of advice:

TALK TO DA WIMMINZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If nothing else, this will help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Crimmany Xebs. The one Brazillian I know came to the great town of Junction City, Ar to graduate high school. Talked all day about how much he missed having sex with his girlfriend and smoking pot with his dad. And he STILL got more nookie than a drunk 8th grader at her best friends party.

Drop them syllables.

[shaolin kungfu]

this is true......as long as it's not my suit..it's all good

This confused me.:confused:

Xebby, you just need to start talkin to chicks. And a tip; try and be a complete ******* to everyone around you, apparently chicks dig that. :confused:

[blooming lotus]

surewe do sherlockl :rolleyes:

[Mojo]

Xebsball.
You are a madman. When you stole that cow? And your friend tried to make it with the cow? I wanna party with you.

[Xebsball]

hey you fukers

lol
i waleke back from a party, like 40mins straight
lol

**** you no didnt do any what you said
you want tme to wear suit?
id like to, i love suits, but no one uses it wher ei go, so it would be weird, and only security guys yous ee sometims eon suits

talk to chicks?
i can barely talk to guys i know for a long time man
you askign more athan mhy brain, soul and body can tkake

this is miy last posts
fgorever this time

[SevenStar]

Try this... walk up to a girl and simply say "Hello". That will be your start. Man, you really need to come to my city...The very same day you got here, you'd get some action.

[Souljah]

you live in Las Vegas???

[Serpent]

Nah, he's the only guy on the Isle Of The Amazons. ******* won't tell us where it is though.

[Kristoffer]

I kinda live there

[PHILBERT]

Originally posted by Odin of Wei

Being engaged is not being married. :D

And being married is not being faithful.

[Pork Chop]

Sorry Xebby, the race is over...
you win....
errrr lose....
errr whatever

Now I'm not the type to kiss and tell.

But over the last 3 years, not including h00kers, handjobs, or blowjobs; we were tied...

Rolling out of bed this morning I realize the score is now:
BmoreBanga (aka E aka Pork Chop aka Jowbacca aka E Lover) = 1
Xebby (aka Xebsball aka Volcano Admin aka whatever else) = 0

Sorry if this is like rubbing salt in an open, gaping, sucking chest wound, that's not on the chest, but rather some incredibly sensitive area that jostles with each breath and opens up a whole new wave of agony.....

If *I* can do it.... *YOU* can too!!!
Keep yo head up!

[blooming lotus]

hey Xebbs..may end up in Brazil in a few yrs to come.have my email....maybe we can tango.hey .one moment.that's spain or something right :rolleyes: :D lol :p

later