*ahem*...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[CaptinPickAxe]

The No-Touch Self Defense (http://content.collegehumor.com/media/movies/1bp.mpeg)

[Kristoffer]

hahaha

awsome

[ShaolinTiger00]

Systema?

[Kristoffer]

looks like it

[David Jamieson]

yep, that's vlads teacher.

and yep, that looks like utter nonsense...unlike the rest of teh material which is mostly sambo based.

Frankly, i like sambo, it is cool, but this stuff just bugs me.

[Shaolinlueb]

what the hell did i jsut watch? looked like the guy was dodging zombies. like in shaun of the dead!

[rubthebuddha]

dude, billy blanks' students would kick that fat boy's ass. sweet jebus, i haven't such bull**** since the pokellion (sp) site.

[Starchaser107]

^ Billy Blanks Karate student
or Tai Bo student?

[stubbs]

maybe he just smells really bad
________
Outdoor russian (http://www.****tube.com/categories/811/russian/videos/1)

[CaptinPickAxe]

I thought you'd kick out of that.
How can someone see that drivle and go, "Hey! This looks something that I can protect my family with." It makes me think that I could make my own MA based on the movements of a tree in the wind.

[MasterKiller]

You want to know who would take it seriously? Check the EF:

http://www.emptyflower.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi/YaBB.cgi?board=done;action=display;num=1079464647

They had a full-blown tissy.

Here's a couple of goodies....

http://www.systemauk.com/art11.htm

http://www.systemauk.com/video2.htm

[David Jamieson]

actually, it got ridiculed at ef as well... so much so they got tired of talking about it. hahahaha, check out the off the topic forum for a lengthy thread ending in various "end this thread now" pics of some humour.

The dude is supposed to be highly skilled in russian martial art...besides the zombie dodging act.

I really have NO idea why they went that route when they had a perfectly viable system going for them.

maybe they wanted to avoid enroling anymore serious martial artists and they were looking for flaky dirty hippy dreamer types to fill the coffers for a while?

anyway...

[rubthebuddha]

since when did hippies have enough money for coffer-filling? :confused:

[CaptinPickAxe]

Honestly, these guys are freakin' pathetic with this "no touch" crap. This stuff is worse than Falun Gong, Emin's Life Mockumentery, and Blooming Lotus rolled into one big nasty ball.

I'd send my throwing dummies to sort out these cats with their uber-gay no-touch B.S.

[Banjos_dad]

'Rub, my first CMA school I visited was full of hippies thinking they were learning tai chi (chuan). They use the money they save by working at the the "co-op," haw!

Offense = 50% unwashed hippy / 45% patchouli / 5% skunk bud.
Defense = "HEyyy man! That's totally UNCOOL..." lol :D

But no, these systema guys look pretty hardcore...more camo pants in that gym than you'd see at Kirtland AFB here in town.

That guy really trains those ukes up good.
Sad thing is, I bet he's raking in the simoleans w/both hands.
Or rather, he just has to wave his hands NEAR the $$$ and it all falls right into his bank account.

(Choking on laughs)

Man, that's such fertile ground for derision. I can't quit.

How about this: it's Aikido but without the 20 yrs til perfection.
Sorry aikido-kas. You know you're used to it by now. :eek:

[Banjos_dad]

Also...

Thanks for the EF link, MasterKiller.
There's 23 pages of ef members arguing whether or not "is this guy for real?"

...23 pages....cough(chumps!)..excuse me, can't find the cough button...cough!(suckaz!)...sorry...

Check out the guy Meynerd...defending it...he must have sunk a lot of dough into that shyyit...haw!

The one positive result of all that crap is...Banjos_dad is now registered on emptyflower...Positive for me anyway. Hey, I do some chi kung, it's okay. But even in tai chi chuan, I would expect a little contact.

It looks like those guys could use some chin na training...that way they'll know something they can use for when some fat bastidge's trying to wave their hand in their faces...Grab that freakin hand and just twist it, I'm psychically beaming into the computer, as I watch the carefully choreographed zombies do their work...

Even the nice people were like, "Okay...maybe he has some skills somewhere else, but the demo is a real butt-nug."

Dude--23 pages??
I have to cough again...laters. B_d

CPA--thanx for half an hour of comic gold.

< < < edit! > > >

Dang it's hard to quit.
But I was thinking...if one of those ukes tries to resist, or "not fall" or whatever, he probably just punches them hard or something...so it doesn't happen again. D'ya reckon?:)

[CaptinPickAxe]

CPA--thanx for half an hour of comic gold.

no prob. I laughed for hours...hell, I'm still laughing...

[cerebus]

If you read the EF thread, you've seen my attempt to speak sense to the Systema guys who keep trying to act like I'm just not smart enough to understand what was happening in the vid. :rolleyes:

Eventually Mo Ling and I got tired of arguing with them and called it a night. :p

[Becca]

Originally posted by rubthebuddha
since when did hippies have enough money for coffer-filling? :confused:
They're all in Boulder, Co spending $30 to huff oxygen for 15 minutes a pop.;) :D And buying into that systema thing, too, it would seem.

[Ming Yue]

Behold the power of halitosis.




There was a hippie guy here at one point who advertised a class in "Tai Chi with no Martial Arts" :rolleyes: nice, huh?

[Becca]

ummm... Ok... I bet he also sold water without the wet...:rolleyes:

[cerebus]

Well, the clip at the beginning of this thread shows combat without the contact, so why not?

I'll take a bottle of dry water please.:D :D

[TaiChiBob]

Greetings..

Yeah.. dehydrated water.. go figure..

Now, this hippy generalization.. not all hippies are wanks, i know a few that will stand and deliver with the best..

Be well..

[Neckbones]

I thought they were very good hand techniques. I think I could get the same effect.......after I got done picking my butt.

[Shaolinlueb]

thats just as bad as the dim mak guy who couldnt knock anybody but hi students out.

[rubthebuddha]

am i the only one who has the mental image of bas rutten ***** slapping that guy when he pops his fat head up? :confused:

[David Jamieson]

BY the way, billy blank's student and brother couldn't beat an untrained eskimo in a kicking match, need I remind you?

[CD Lee]

You know...everytime I see that BS, it just makes me wonder in amazement at the stupidity going on. I think the guy is real, but this demo is just nutz.

I keep seeing a 270 lb. 6'4 muscled up crazed MF'r charging the guy for a beotch slap. Like, whats he gonna do with that crap when the guy is aiming to empty his mouth of all his teeth.

I mean seriously now, I understand if they are saying there is mental confusion or suggestion going on, but in a fight nobody would do that stuff. So why not just do some mind tricks or magic to demonstrate such a state of mind? You know, like that magic guy on MTV, how he makes people forget thier names and stuff like that.

[rubthebuddha]

who are you again? :confused:

[Shaolinlueb]

i tell you, but that guy and the dim mak guy form chicago in a ring together and see what happens.

[David Jamieson]

dim mak can no penetrate a.ssmaster headband power

[Banjos_dad]

Yeah, I know Tai Chi Bob, there are hippies who can throw down.
Just not in the CMA school I was talking about.

Sometimes you can tell something's really, really wrong with a school you're auditing, by the questions you hear the students asking...
...And the answers they receive :rolleyes:

Nuff said--I'm sure experienced MAists reading this know exactly what I am talking about.

PS--born in '67, lived in Hawaii, northern Cal & Oregon, among other places...I am no stranger to 'hippies...' both authentic and neo-/faux-hippy. I would say I am part of the o-riginal involuntary hippy backlash :rolleyes:

"You could call me a well-wisher, in that I don't wish them any specific harm (--Moe Szyzlak, 'The Simpsons')"

Yeah, KL : that headband produces some strange psychological effects.

btw--painful band around head = symptom of schizophrenia :-(
sorry man. Could have saved you some $$$ with an earlier diagnosis, huh? :) yr friend B_d

[rubthebuddha]

i tell you, but that guy and the dim mak guy form chicago in a ring together and see what happens. i'm guessing a rousing game of checkers.

then again, the game may never start if they try to move the pieces without touching them.

[PHILBERT]

I went to this Aikido school a few months ago to check them out. The school is literally a hop, skip and jump from my house in an unmarked building. I had to of passed that place over 100 times not knowing whats there before I found out.

Anyway, the place also teaches Systema and when I went there they were doing that. It looked nothing like that though. I thought it was Krav Maga at first.

[David Jamieson]

b d,

yeah, I remember when I was a kid and getting asked the question "do you feel a tight band around your head at any time?"

lol, little did I know the school was secretly weeding out the psychos!

fortunately, my remark was a joke and apologies to any schizophrenics out there, you know who you are...all of you all crowded into that small rental brain...:p

[Volcano Admim]

we forgive you
just this time cos we felt a rise of luck in recent times
we do think though that next time you should apologize individually to each one of us

[David Jamieson]

apologizing to your personalities alone would take approximately 75.3 years by my calculations...

You'll have to accept a mass apology, and cookies won't be served. :p

[Volcano Admim]

lol

[CD Lee]

Rubthebuda said


who are you again?



Nobody.

[Banjos_dad]

KL...no offense taken...:eek:

How do you think I knew that...:D

Have you seen the picture in the book, with the perosn with their head in a cider press?


Mwa ha ha ha hahahahaha...

[GunnedDownAtrocity]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
It makes me think that I could make my own MA based on the movements of a tree in the wind.

haha .... my buddy did exactly that in highschool. he actually thought about it quite a bit and made movements with a lot of whipping and snapping power. i think he threw in some lopsaos (sp?) and the like as well. it was pretty cool considering we were like 15.

[CaptinPickAxe]

LOL!
Well, GDA, we all know that trees have the most l33t fighting skills of any organic thing on the planet. So, I guess it was a matter of time before we tried to capture its prowess in a martial art:D

Man, I just smoked one of the best cigars I've ever had. Is anyone else a fan of gars?

[unkokusai]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe
The No-Touch Self Defense (http://content.collegehumor.com/media/movies/1bp.mpeg)

I wonder if they have to make Three Stooges sounds when they do that?

[unkokusai]

Originally posted by CaptinPickAxe


Man, I just smoked one of the best cigars I've ever had. Is anyone else a fan of gars?

I recommend Nat Sherman. Good smoke for the money.

[unkokusai]

Originally posted by Kung Lek
b d,

yeah, I remember when I was a kid and getting asked the question "do you feel a tight band around your head at any time?"

lol, little did I know the school was secretly weeding out the psychos!

fortunately, my remark was a joke and apologies to any schizophrenics out there, you know who you are...all of you all crowded into that small rental brain...:p

So, was Sun Wu Kong a schizophrenic?

[CaptinPickAxe]

I'm a fan of Cohiba Coronas. I smoked a Saint Luis Ray Especial Reserve today...it was nice.